Chapter Five- Doubt
Mara couldn't help but scowl as she made her way through the familiar corridors of the Jedi Temple. Darkness had finally captured the city planet and the billions of lights mocked her from the windows. She was supposed to be having a family dinner, not being dragged along with her Master.
Luke would probably be at home right now, enjoying tender nerf steak alongside her father and the rest of the Skywalker clan. Her thoughts bled into the Force and Anakin shot her a forced smile.
"Whatever it is, it has to be important," he stressed as they finally reached the entry to the Council chambers.
Mara knew she was acting childish. The Jedi acted as the moral compass for the galaxy and Mara normally felt extremely privileged to act on their behalf. However, as she finally reached adulthood, she was often unable to shake the feeling that perhaps the Jedi had many more secrets than those of the Jedi Council.
"Well, you and Dad weren't called for session, so it can't be that bad," Mara reasoned.
"Rather logical, Mara."
Mara noted the way her Master, who was normally rather upbeat in her presence and with her training as a whole, faltered slightly before going into the room. Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi Master, he was the hero of the Clone Wars. Apart from her father, he was the most fearless man in the galaxy. Now, looking at him, she had the tiniest sliver of doubt.
Mara gently probed her Master with the Force and found Anakin's mental shields reflecting every attempt of hers to try and understand what had caused his change in demeanour.
In a rare moment of weakness, Mara suddenly felt frightened as to what lay behind the doors.
Anakin finally regained his composure and forcefully pushed the Council doors open by hand. Mara followed suit and dutifully bowed to the Masters as they entered the Council chambers. Mara mentally processed the fact that Master Windu appeared via holo and only four other Jedi Masters were present.
"Master Skywalker, Kenobi," Master Windu greeted them as they approached the centre circle.
Yoda sat in his usual spot, his white hair hanging limply over his ears. He still clutched his walking stick as his eyes assessed the two Jedi in front of him. Mara had a lot of respect for the ageing Jedi Master but she couldn't help wondering whether he was hanging on when the Force was really trying to tell him it was his time to go.
Mara bowed respectfully. "Masters."
"Master Windu, you contacted us?" Anakin asked.
"I have just made contact from Galliespied with the senator from Serenno," he stated.
Mara wracked her brain trying to remember where she had heard the name of the planet before.
Anakin subconsciously straightened his back.
"Willing to open up negotiations, Count Belku is," Yoda stated.
The name finally clicked with Mara. "The Jedi haters!" she blurted out.
Mara wasn't quite sure, but she could have sworn that Master Koon frowned at her. She certainly didn't miss Master Windu's glare from the holo.
"And seeing as how you and Kenobi were the last to conduct negotiations there, they have requested your presence," Shaak Ti added.
Mara took the opportunity to study her Master as the rest of the Council members listened to Shaak Ti talk about the situation on Serenno. Anakin looked deep in thought about the issue. However, Mara felt uneasy. Anakin was clearly troubled about something. The fact that he was shielding so heavily spoke volumes. The Force pulsed around everyone and Mara fought to keep silent.
Shaak Ti finally stopped speaking and Mara turned her attention back to the Council.
"Understand you do, this is of great importance," Yoda stressed. "Good relations, we must keep. Take away the trade rights they might, if we do not tread carefully."
"I understand Master."
"You will have to leave as soon as possible," Master Windu added. "We understand that Luke and Obi-Wan leave for Mon Calamari tomorrow..."
"Luke will do his duty," Anakin stated, leaving the second part unsaid.
As will I.
"Very well then. They are expecting you," Master Windu finished.
To Mara, this signalled the end of the meeting and she bowed. Anakin didn't budge.
"Masters, I am formally requesting that I go to Serenno alone and my padawan, Mara Kenobi, remain behind on Coruscant."
Mara spun around to make sure that she hadn't wandered into an alternate reality.
"What?" she asked quietly.
Anakin ignored her and directed his sight to his colleagues on the Council.
"For what reason?" Plo Koon asked.
Mara thought back to the past few weeks. They had come back from a standard mission to Brentaal. Nothing had been amiss—in fact, Anakin had seemed proud of what she had accomplished in the trade update. They had spent the rest of their time in the Temple, practicing meditation and she had nearly bested him in saber practice. She was positive that she hadn't done anything to upset him. The Force pulsed again as she stared at her Master incredulously, allowing her emotions to crash over her now unattended shields.
Mara knew Anakin felt her anger, hurt and betrayal and from the looks of the rest of the Council members, they could as well.
"Mara has learnt a great deal but she is not ready for negotiations of such magnitude."
"Hmm, interesting, this is," Yoda interjected, staring at the once harmonious Master and apprentice. "Do not trust your padawan, do you, Skywalker?"
Anakin kept a straight face and didn't dare react to Mara. "Not with such an important Jedi business, Masters."
Mara felt like her whole world was about to crumble. "You don't trust me?" she screeched. "What have I ever done to deserve your distrust, Master?"
"Kenobi!" Master Windu scolded from half way across the galaxy.
"Masters, you have trusted me to sit on this council with you for seventeen years. My judgement has not led you astray," Anakin responded, ignoring Mara's outburst. "It is my judgement that Mara remain on-planet. Perhaps Ahsoka will continue her training while I am off-world..."
"No!" Mara exclaimed.
"Knight Tano is on Vandor-3 securing healing supplies," Shaak Ti advised.
"Your reports on Mara's progress have indicated she is exceptionally strong in the Force," Ki-Adi-Mundi finally spoke up. "She has shown a dedication to the Force and to all elements of the Jedi training, including fostering diplomacy. We feel this is a perfect opportunity for Mara."
"I disagree," Anakin continued. "Her attitude may cause disruption with the negotiations."
Mara knew that her rough attitude sometimes hindered her progress as a Jedi, but Anakin had never insinuated that it could lead her down a path of disruption. Her anger and hurt slightly tainted her perception of the Force and she was unable to tell whether Anakin's protests were genuine.
"Said that about you, we have, young Skywalker," Yoda pointed out, pointing his stick at Anakin for emphasis. "Mara, what have to say, do you?" Everyone's attention turned to Mara, including Anakin's. "Hmm? Ready, do you feel?"
"I am ready, Master Yoda," Mara replied hotly, stepping closer to the Council. "I have done nothing but support my Master in every mission we have undertaken. I might be a little tough personally, but I have always shown compassion and decorum as a Jedi. If the Serenno mission is important, then I am ready to serve my duty as a Jedi."
"Mara..." Anakin started.
"I am ready!" Mara screeched, feeling her face grow hot.
Silence invaded the chambers.
"I'm ready," Mara whispered, more to Anakin who had finally tilted his head to look at her. A look of regret and sadness brushed across his features and Mara finally realised just how much Anakin and Luke looked alike.
"Agree with Mara, the Council does," Yoda confirmed.
A wave of sadness passed over Mara that it had come to this. "Thank you, Masters," she replied dutifully.
"Contact me when you have arrived at Serenno. The Senator is expecting you," Master Windu directed at Anakin.
"May the Force be with you," Plo Koon said, effectively dismissing both Anakin and Mara from the Council chambers.
Anakin was first to move and he was out of the doors in an instant. Mara watched him leave for a split second before remembering that she was supposed to follow him.
Her emotions were warring inside of her and at this point, Mara didn't even care that she was unable to shield them. Her Master had practically announced to the Jedi Council that he found her crass, untrustworthy and ill-equipped to be his apprentice through any mission. He had even tried to pawn her off onto Ahsoka—and while Mara enjoyed her company, she hadn't signed up for training with her. She had signed up for training with Anakin Skywalker.
Anakin refused to look at her as she trailed him to the Temple's port.
"What was that all about?" Mara called out, sending him a wave of confusion through the Force.
"Leave it, Kenobi," Anakin said firmly, not slowing down.
Mara hated being ignored and quickened her pace to match his. "Leave it? You tried to leave me behind, that's not exactly normal behaviour!"
Anakin stopped in his tracks and finally faced Mara. Mara had never seen him so troubled. She had heard the stories of how the great Anakin Skywalker threw off the shroud of the Dark Side and defeated the Sith. However, for her whole life, she had known him as Uncle Anakin and then Master and he had always, always been on her side.
Until now.
The hour was late, so the corridor was empty. Anakin's eyes held regret and sadness that not even the Force could mask. It struck Mara's very core but she still refused to accept that what her Master had just done was acceptable.
"I don't think you're ready Mara," he repeated. "I know your father has spoken to you about...what nearly happened all those years ago, with the Chancellor."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Mara scoffed.
"Here, in the safety of the Jedi Temple, we do not speak too much of the Dark Side," Anakin continued. "I have felt the Dark Side, Mara, and it is strong. Stronger than you could ever imagine. It fills your very soul and although there is always that one beacon of light, it is cast in shadow. Anger and fear can lead you down that path, Mara."
For once, Mara had nothing to say.
"I have been to Serenno, Mara. Dark things breed there. The kind of things that play on your anger and your hate, the kind of things that invade your soul and stay there."
Anakin placed a hand on her shoulder and Mara flinched.
"I don't want that for you."
Finally, Mara found her voice. "How will I ever become all I can be if you hide me in the shadows, Master? You say dark things breed there? The Light will always show us the way. I can do this."
Anakin squeezed her shoulder. "You no longer have any choice."