"She with hair on fire. Mouth a flame with wrathful breath. This is the feminine speaking, this is the mouth and body and curse of the female. See her on the street, in the subway, at the endless-wait terminal. She waiting. Many storms of waiting. Just below the surface. Red eyes, gaping mouth, lolling tongue."

Alphabet of Mother Language

Anne Waldman

Journal of Edward Masen

April 17, 1960

We have been "invited" to visit the Volturi. Carlisle assures me, however, that this is not so much an invitation as a summons. We discussed it and decided that Emmett and I will accompany Carlisle, leaving Rose and Esme at home.

Carlisle has suggested that I remain at home with Esme and Rosalie, despite Aro's specific request for my presence, but I insist upon going. In fact, I stated my case so fervently that Carlisle is worried that he should make my excuses and try to forbid me to go. He is worried that I will become unhinged again like I did when Bella left. Carlisle has never forbidden me anything and he is reluctant to do so now. I assured him that I would be the very model of responsible, sober behavior and he reluctantly acquiesced.

Aro's letter mentioned nothing of her. I can only assume that she is still among them but I would never do Alice the honor of asking her. As far as I'm concerned Alice and her scarred beast of a mate cannot be trusted and I continue to insist that they stay away from the family, much her dismay.

A tiny voice inside of me says that I shouldn't risk seeing Bella. Our kind do not forget, neither do our memories fade and I can still feel the anguish I felt when she left and the delusional hope that she would return. I felt as though I had been hollowed out, burned from the inside.

But I cannot keep myself away. There is a part of me that wonders if she doesn't regret her decision. Or perhaps she finds life among the Volturi unbearable. She was very much a free spirit and the Volturi rival the court at Versailles in terms of protocol and structure.

Or perhaps I will find that our time together was a mere blip on her radar and she has moved on. Then I can convince myself that she never felt anything for me and it was not my lewd suggestion that drove her away.

Journal of Edward Masen

April 24, 1960

Isabella never felt anything for me. The infatuation was all on my side, she cares nothing for me.

I thought that this news would be a relief to me. I have feared for all these years that I drove her away with my proposition. I know now that none of it meant anything to her. I don't know why I don't feel relieved that this was not my doing.

We flew over to Paris from New York, staying one night in the city before moving on to Italy so that Carlisle and Emmett could buy gifts for their spouses.

After much discussion we decided that it was prudent not to mention Alice and Jasper to the Volturi if at all possible. Both had powerful gifts and their joining the Volturi would not only make Aro more powerful but Carlisle feared that they would not be given a choice.

We took the train to Volterra and were received right inside the gates of the ancient city by an elegantly dressed human woman. Carlisle had warned me that the Volturi kept human servants, often with the promise that they would be changed. Sometimes they kept their promise.

The woman introduced herself as Sophia and escorted us to an inconspicuous wooden doorway in the city. We were led down a sloping corridor and several flights of stairs all of them dark and undecorated. Finally, we passed through another tall wooden door and we were in a larger, well lit, poshly decorated hall. There were several vampires and a few more humans moving around the hallway, all of who tried to feign disinterest but their thoughts were marveling at our yellow eyes and simple dress. All of the denizens of this underground world were dressed in rich if outdated modes of dress.

A man in a long black robe approached us, his red eyes warming in recognition of Carlisle. He stretched his hand out to Carlisle and greeted him with a smile.

"Carlisle, it's so good to see you again," he said, clasping my father's hand in his.

"Gustave, it's a pleasure to see you as well," Carlisle's thoughts of this man were fairly warm. "These are my sons, Edward and Emmett." He gestured to us and the man's eyes went wide as he greeted us with a smile.

"Your sons?" The man smiled wryly. "Only you, Carlisle." He turned and gestured for us to follow him. "Come on, they're waiting for you."

Gustave leads us into a large chamber made of stone. There was a plinth on the opposite end with the three men I had seen in Carlisle's head many times and knew to be the leaders of the Volturi. Caius; young, blonde, angry. Marcus; reserved, weary, dark. And Aro; their leader, aristocratic, affected, Machiavellian. We stood in the center of the room flanked by the guard on either side. They wore robes of grey or black, dependent on their status here.

Aro rose as we walked in.

"Carlisle, it has been far too long, my friend." His voice was deceptively warm. I was having a hard time reading his thoughts, not an uncommon thing with older vampires; they tended to have better mental control and I assumed he knew of my ability. I could, however, hear the cacophony of thoughts around us. The other vampires in the room regarded us as freaks and marveled at the unnaturalness of our yellow eyes. A few wondered why we hadn't been forced to comply with the "appropriate" diet for vampires and when Aro would force us to disband as our coven had grown in size.

"Aro, Marcus, Caius. My sons, Edward and Emmett. My wife Esme and daughter Rosalie send their regrets as their presence was required at home." Carlisle spoke respectfully but the hisses from the observers in the gallery made no secret of their disdain for the terms "sons" and "daughters." Another reason for these creatures to hate us.

I tried to find Bella in the room but she wasn't there. Aro made a motion to the back of the room and spoke to two men standing there. "A chair for our esteemed brother." He gestured at Carlisle. It was an unexpected move. No one was allowed to sit in the presence of the three brothers. Additionally, Aro including Carlisle as a brother was unexpected. By adopting the familial language that we used, Aro was showing support for us in front of his court.

Carlisle sat down on the chair that was brought for him and dipped his head in thanks. Emmett and I still stood silently on either side of him.

"Carlisle, your family has grown since we last communicated." I could see in Aro's head that Carlisle had written to him after changing Esme and myself but that Emmett and Rosalie were newer additions.

"Rosalie and Emmett joined us during the Great Depression," Carlisle added. "But you had yet to meet Edward. My first." Carlisle's evident pride came out when he gestured to me. Aro looked at me with a combination of greed and amusement in his eyes.

"Edward, I hear you and I have something in common." I knew that Aro was aware of my gift; Carlisle would have told him. It would have been foolish to let him find out from someone else.

I nodded, not knowing if he wanted me to speak.

"Carlisle told me your gift works differently than mine. Can you explain?"

I chose my words carefully. "I don't need to make contact to read people's minds but my depth is much less than yours. I can only read what's on the surface whereas I understand that you can hear everything they've ever thought?" Aro nods. It pleases him to have me downplay my gift.

"I'm afraid we've robbed you of another of your flock, Carlisle. The lovely Isabella has become an indispensible part of our little family. I do hope her absence hasn't been too much of a hardship." Aro was looking at me as he said this but I could tell from his thoughts that he was fishing, he guessed that she would have had an impact on the only single male in the Cullen family but he knew nothing concrete. I did my best to give nothing away. Aro's interest in me was becoming obvious to many of the guard, I was picking up on mental murmurings. Some were jealous and threatened, others were pleased that Aro would do something to put Carlisle in his place.

"Speaking of Isabella, she should be joining us," Aro glanced around the room. For the first time since we entered the room he didn't appear to be in complete control of the conversation. It was slightly disconcerting. But before he could change the subject a door partially concealed by the chairs of the three brothers opened up and she came out.

For whatever reason, she was clearly not required to wear the robes. She wore a tailored grey tweed dress with a dark leather belt and heels. She was more beautiful than I remembered her and seeing her nearly made me stumble backwards. She was as I remembered except that her eyes were a vivid red. She wouldn't look at me.

"Ah, Isabella. There you are." Aro's disorientation seemed to pass and he stretched his hand out to her. She smiled at him and strolled over, her heels clicking on the stone floor. She took a seat on the arm of his chair. Like a pet cat.

"Isabella, look. Carlisle has come to see us." Aro gestured to Carlisle and she turned her face in our direction for the first time but her eyes swept across me without pausing. "He's brought his fascinating sons as well." Aro spoke again, his eyes fixed on us. He fixed his glare on me again and I could hear him mulling over how much he could learn from touching me, from getting a look at the thoughts of everyone who had ever been near me.

Bella's gaze flickered back to Aro. Suddenly, she sprung back up from her perch on the arm of Aro's throne and with a prowling, seductive walk approached Carlisle.

When she reached him, just a few feet away from me she did the last thing we would have expected and sat down in his lap. Emmett couldn't conceal an exhale of surprise and Carlisle – although I could hear the surprise and embarrassment in his thoughts – maintained his composure.

Isabella curled her hand around his tie and purred, "Carlisle, it's so good to see you again. Have you missed me terribly?" I felt as though I was boring holes in her face with my stare but she ignored me. I wanted to dash her from his lap, to grab her and run from this place, to burn her the way she was burning me.

Carlisle coughed nervously in the onslaught of her seduction and tried to sound calm as he said, "Bella, we have all missed you. We hope that you are well."

She narrowed her eyes at him and smiled again. Still gripping his tie in her hand she pulled his face closer so she was practically speaking into his mouth. "Of course I am well, Carlisle. I always land on my feet, don't I?" With that she released her grip on his tie and pushed herself off his lap and sauntered over to rejoin Aro.

I was inflamed and furious, shaking with the effort it took to restrain myself. As she walked away I picked up again on the thoughts around us; mostly amusement at her games but there was a single note of jealousy. I could see Bella's flirtation with Carlisle through the eyes of one of the spectators and he was jealous. I glanced around trying to trace it but failed, the voices in the chamber were too concentrated and fierce.

Isabella reseated herself on Aro's chair. He reached over and stroked her arm affectionately.

"Isabella, dear, if you miss the Cullen's perhaps we can persuade them to visit more often?" I could see the wheels starting to turn in Aro's head again, he would have loved for one of us to join the guard, especially me. He looked at me with false solicitude.

"Edward, living among the humans must be terrible for someone of your gifts. It must drive you to distraction." Aro rose from his chair -Isabella's eyes still on him – and began to approach us. Something flashed across her face that looked like fear and then the mask slipped back in place.

"Aro, I can't think of anything more boring than listening to a Cullen for the rest of my life. Why do you think I left?" She plucked at an imaginary bit of thread on her skirt.

"Really, Isabella? I think that Edward's gift would make him such an exemplary member of the guard and he could keep you company. Don't you think he's handsome?" I knew that Aro was guessing, he knew nothing of Isabella and I, and yet I watched her response carefully. And was devastated by it.

"Aro, I have…tasted that particular entrée and it was not to my liking." Her words seared into me, even Carlisle and Emmett turned to me in concern. Aro looked at her and seeing the sincerity in her face, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his seat. He sat back down and took her hand in his and stroked it affectionately.

"Very well, Dear. I think only of keeping you amused." She smiled at him and then, for the first time, met my eyes.

Nothing. I could sense nothing in them. No sentimentality, no affection, no recognition. I meant nothing to her.

If I believed that God listened to the prayers of creatures like me I would wish to feel the same way. I would give anything to feel indifferent to her.

a/n: Thanks to the amazing EverlastingMuse for betaing and kudos to the infinitely patient and supportive Liz3615 for pre-reading this and helping it to make a little bit more sense.

My apologies on the wait, this takes more work to wrangle out of my head than my other nonsense. I'm going to guess this is going to be a every two weeks update but never a whole month again, I promise! Thanks! JuJu