Disclaimer: Twilight and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Bella was blasting her music at a decibel too loud, so she didn't hear Jacob knocking on her door. She was sprawled out across her bed working on some last minute homework that she wanted finished before the camping trip the following day.

Standing at her front door, Jacob sent her a text message. The vibration from her phone startled her. I'm at your door.

She debated for half a second if she should answer it, but then thought better of it. No, she should not ignore him. That would just be cruel. She turned down her music before swinging open the door with a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Hey!" Bella greeted.

"Hi," Jacob replied. He tried to smile but failed. Bella moved to the side to allow him entrance. He didn't sit. He just stood towards the side of the room.

Bella resumed her position on her bed - belly down and knees bent. Climbing on and off the bed caused some pages to get misplaced, so she flipped through her book to find her place again.

"Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Miss Swan?"

Bella looked up to meet his stricken face. "Sure, OK." He looked so serious. She sat up.

"I swore I wasn't going to get mad, no matter what you said to me. But… I just got so upset that I was going to lose you… I had to come right over."

"Jake –"

"No, let me talk." He left out an aggravated sigh. "I'm not stupid."

"I never said –"

"Bella," Jacob interrupted, "I'm in love with you. Bella, I love you. I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn't want a miscommunication to stand in our way."

Bella dropped her head in her hands. Jacob walked over and sat down next to her as soon as he heard her let a sob. He reached over and pushed her hair behind her shoulder. "Bella…"

"Jacob, I'm so sorry," she whispered through her tears. With a ruined face she looked up to meet his eyes. "I can't. I, oh, God."

"Bella, what I said shouldn't make you cry like this."

Bella wiped her nose with her sleeve. "Jacob, I've been meaning to talk to you for some time now. I can't. I can't do this anymore." Bella reached down to grab his hand, but he rose to his feet. "I want to remain friends. We are great at being friends. We started out as friends. I ruined that. I was the one to push for more in the beginning."

"This is about Edward, isn't it?" Jacob growled.

"No, of course not. I've been wanting to talk to you for awhile about –"

"I can't believe this," Jacob barked.

"Jacob, please."

"I want you to pick me instead of him."

"I don't… I don't love you, Jake," Bella choked out. "I'm, I'm so sorry. This has nothing to do with Edward."

"I think it does, and I think you do love me," Jacob said softly. "Not the same way, I know. But he's not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left."

"I'm sorry," Bella said kindheartedly, ignoring the Edward talk. "We just don't work that way."

"You've got to have a little more confidence in us than that. It's insulting." Jacob scoffed.

Silence filled the tiny room. When Bella looked up she found him staring at her.

"Jake-"

"When he left, you spent all your energy holding on to him. You could be happy if you let go. You could be happy with me."

"For the last time, this has nothing to do with Edward. I want to still be friends." Bella rose to her knees. "We'll just go on this trip this weekend and have fun, ok? We'll hang out with our friends and it will be like old times."

"Friends. Like old times. Right." Jacob rubbed his face and then walked to the door.

"You think I could be as forgiving as you are? You think I can just go back to being friends? If I remember correctly, you were broken when he left, but you seem to have no problem being his friend again. I'm sorry Bella, but we can't all be saints and martyrs."

"Jacob-"

"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing."

With that, Jacob left and slammed the door behind him.

Bella was the last to arrive at Emmett's house. She was still unsure why she was even going. She received a call last night from Alice informing her that Jacob had called Jasper and canceled last minute. She figured he would, but it still made her feel like shit.

Emmett was the one to answer the door. "Bella! It's about time. Jesus, you are always late."

"Late for what? We aren't supposed to leave for another 30 minutes." Bella grabbed her overstuffed backpack off the ground and followed him into the house.

"Bella!" Alice squealed, as she entered the kitchen.

"Alice?"

"We're doing shots!" Alice squealed again.

"No, we are toasting to our great outdoor adventure," Emmett corrected.

"Is it mandatory to start all adventures with drunk driving?" Bella quipped.

"I'm driving," Jasper huffed.

"Yeah, I told him I didn't want to be the only obnoxious drunk girl on this trip, which means you have to drink too," Alice said, while forcing a shot glass in Bella's hand.

"Wait, so you are coming now?"

"I figured I'd back you up after the news I heard last night. I couldn't convince Rose though. That little ho-bag."

Jasper filled a shot for everyone. "So, now that we are all here…"

"Wait, we have to wait for Edward. We can't toast without Edward," Alice interrupted.

For a minute there, Bella thought maybe Edward was going to be a no-show as well. She hadn't seen him, no one had mentioned him, and Emmett had yelled at her for being late.

"He's outside having a smoke," Alice informed no one in particular. She just liked to hear herself talk. Then she got up to shout down the hall. "Edward!"

Edward entered though the sliding door. "Damn, Alice. I'm right here."

"Come on!"

Jasper passed the extra full shot he had in front of him to Edward. Reluctantly.

Everyone raised their glasses. Jasper's was only half full. He figured a little wouldn't hurt, and it was a toast after all. Wasn't it bad luck to not raise a glass?

"To us!" Alice cheered.

"To us," Edward replied, looking right at Bella.

Bella gagged. She hated drinking straight liquor. Emmett pounded on her back. "You OK there, little lady?" Bella just waved him off with a grimace.

"Another!" Alice cheered again while pouring more. Bella shot her a death glare. She took it though and shot it quickly. Then she left the room before Alice could pour another.

Alice joined her on the couch and handed her a beer. "If I have to sleep in the woods and worse yet, pee in the woods, then I want to be drunk enough to not remember it."

"Some of us like the outdoors."

"And some of us like toilet paper."

Bella rolled her eyes but took the beer. She wasn't planning on getting wasted, but having Edward so close was making her nervous. She needed the liquid courage.

"So, feel any better now that you had a night's sleep?" Alice asked.

"He told me he loved me and then I told him I wanted to be friends. So, no. I don't."

Alice looked behind her to make sure the guys were still in the kitchen, which was out of hearing range.

"I don't get why you feel so down. You knew this was coming."

"Yeah, but it didn't happen smoothly like I wanted."

Alice let out a laugh. "You really thought it was going to?"

"I don't know! Why did he have to use the L word?" Bella chugged some of her beer. "There was our first kiss. Then Edward left. Then I was a mess. Then I leaned on Jacob as a friend. Then I pushed for more. Then I realized I didn't want more. Then Edward pops back up. So, now it looks like I did it because of Edward. Jacob deserves more than that. It totally looks like that too."

"And now if you and Edward hook up it's a slap in the face. Gotcha," Alice added, while sipping her beer.

"Yep."

Everyone eventually packed Emmett's jeep with their supplies and got on the road. It was only about an hour's drive. Alice was a bit tipsy so she controlled/took over the radio and sang along, to everyone's displeasure.

Tents were setup. Supplies were unloaded. Beers were handed out. Everyone picked a task to keep them busy. When Bella volunteered to collect wood for the fire, Edward jumped up to assist her.

"I'm good. I think I can handle picking up sticks."

"Yeah, but we'll have twice as much if I help."

Bella mumbled to herself, "Not with you distracting me."

They made their way through the woods. Both Edward and Bella stole glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. Edward was about to break the silence when Bella spoke up.

"After all this time, what made you decide to come back and throw all this baggage at me?" She stopped walking and dropped the few branches she collected on the ground.

Finally, Edward thought. Finally, she is talking about it. Edward dropped his bundle as well and crossed his arms.

"No matter how many people were around me, I was lonely. What hurt the most was realizing our friendship had been broken. Thinking about things. Things that were never said. I just ran." Edward let out a frustrated sigh and reached up to tug at his hair, even though his hands were still dirty from carrying the wood.

Bella knew this was a serious moment, but watching Edward streak bits of soil through his sweaty hair made her laugh. Her laugh surprised Edward. He didn't think what he said was all that funny. Bella walked over to him and used the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe the dirt from his temple.

Edward grabbed her wrist gently and lowered it. "I ran before even saying goodbye. It took me awhile to get over my anger. And then I was too stubborn to admit I acted irrationally. It didn't help that when I called up Jasper I find out that you are still hanging out with Jacob. It hurt."

Bella looked toward the ground. "I only wanted you Edward." She backed up, pulled off a leave from a nearby tree and began shredding it. "Everything happened so fast. I thought you broke up with me. I thought you were on a date. I was so jealous and mad. I didn't stop to really think. I've always, always, trusted you in the past. I guess… I guess I just let my insecurities get the best of me. I felt like one day you were going to leave me again. That you were going to realize I wasn't that special. I thought you finally had."

Edward closed the distance between them and hugged Bella tight. "I want to get it right this time."

Bella hugged him back and hid her face in his chest. "I can't yet. I can't jump from one relationship to another."

He sighed. "Yeah, I hate sloppy seconds."

Bella laughed. "And you'd end up just being the rebound guy."

"Come on, it looks like rain. Let's head back," Edward said.

I stole a lot of Jacob's words from the books.

Jess, my beta, had a baby. Instead of spending time with her baby she looked this over. That is the kind of dedication I expect.

No, not really.

Dear Jess - " Dead Leaves 4-Life!"

Sorry about the delay. At least I can put some of the blame on this here site. I finally want to update and it won't let me for days and days. An awesome FF writer had to help me.

(Side note that you don't need to read - I was reading a series on my Kindle recently. A sucky one, so I won't mention what, but there were times when the characters or the plot made me so mad. I would think to myself, I am so leaving a comment about 'that'. Then would realize that it was not FF I was actually reading. I really have a problem.)