Last time on "Bella makes Edward miserable for six decades": Demitri, who Edward knew had been Bella's lover (from his thoughts when he saw them in San Francisco) showed up and warned them that they needed all the help they could get against the Volturi and suggested that they change Nick. Then Nick (with Edward insisting on listening in) heard part of Demitri's story.

Demitri:

Isabella arrived - dirty from traveling - in a cotton dress and a man's sport coat that she had taken off of a victim - in the spring of 1955.

She walked straight into the Volturi court and demanded to speak to Aro. They could have killed her for her insolence. Jane would have liked to, and she wasn't the only one. We spent our time kowtowing to Aro, Caius and Marcus, praising them and following their every whim. This creature showing up, demanding to see Aro, refusing to request an audience, refusing to follow protocol, sent many of the court into a rage.

I was entranced. Her actions, her attitude, reminded me of freedom.

Aro agreed to see her, perhaps out of shock, and she walked right up to him, disregarding the hissing of his sentries, and held out her hand to his. He took her outstretched hand in his.. Aro's face darkened in concentration and then in frustration before he finally let go of her hand and smiled.

"How remarkable." he said and invited her to sit next to him. Unheard of, it was an incredible honor to be allowed to be seated in front of them, one that was reserved for very few. I had only seen it once before.

Isabella quickly ingratiated herself with Aro, she became his…pet? These words: "ingratiate" and "pet" are inadequate. She never needed to grovel or fawn to him like the rest of us. She seemed to win him over with her insolence and with the mere fact of her silence. I don't think that they were intimate although he kept her close at all times. I mean that I know they were not; there were no secrets in that place, but they might as well have been. Perhaps Aro held back out of deference to his mate; perhaps she refused him. I don't know.

I do know that I wanted her. Not because she was beautiful, although she was, not because Aro had laid some claim on her, because that would have been signing my death warrant. And not because she had expressed any interest in me. She was simultaneously seductive and dismissive with everyone she encountered, regardless of gender.

I wanted her because she - despite being a member of the guard - managed to maintain that air of being untouchable, of autonomy, of a freedom that I could only fantasize about. Maybe it was because she was the only one whose mind Aro couldn't read but I swear it went beyond that.

But we all treated her with deference and caution because we could see that Aro favored her. She knew I was fascinated with her, she would give me the occasional knowing smile but I kept my distance.

Then in 1960 you showed up. I assume Nick here already knows what happened? After seeing that she had no interest in you or in returning to Carlisle's coven, Aro loosened up his grip on her, gave her a little more freedom.

He also offered her to me.

This makes you angry, Edward, but you insisted on being here for this. Do you want me to pretend it never happened? You knew when you saw us in San Francisco that we were lovers. And again in Aspen.

He hasn't told you about Aspen, Nick? You'll have to tell him the whole story, Edward. Aspen is where she lost Aro's trust. That was the last time he sent her out without…additional supervision. That was also when she stopped sharing my bed. It's probably not a coincidence.

Aro told me that he knew that I wanted her, and that if I wanted he would allow us to be lovers. I was offended by his offering her up like that and resentful that my life was so restricted that I could only be with her with his permission. I would have never approached her with Aro's proposition.

But she came to me that night.

She told me that she would never fall in love with me, that she was incapable of it, but that she would be my lover.

Not that it didn't have other, obvious benefits but being with her was a way of tasting that freedom she always had in her eyes, in her manner. No matter how enslaved we were, I could forget that in her arms.

Journal of Edward Masen

January 3, 1973

I have received another missive from Alice, directing me towards another encounter with Bella. I crumbled it up, furious, until it was dust but the details are burned into my infallible mind. I have no way to contact Alice at this time but the last time we encountered her and her silent, enigmatic husband I insisted that she stop telling me about Bella, that she cease to throw her into my face.

"We all have discomforts to bear, Edward." she spat at me but her face was tinged more by sadness than anger.

I didn't press the point as I could hear the agitation in her mate's mind at our conflict.

So she tortures me still. Damn Alice!

I will simply ignore it. Seeing Bella, "Isabella" as they call her now, only brings me distress. Even just thinking of her, which I must admit that I do on a daily basis, brings me dull pain, as if my insides were being pulled out slowly. Seeing her brings me the kind of shooting agony that can only be caused by the profound mix of wanting and desolation that she causes me. I cannot even begin to fathom what it would be like to touch her. Even thinking about it brings me pain.

How can I still want her? She is a monster, an immoral creature, a killer.

She has toyed with me and abandoned me and my family, consorted with the enemy and may well be prepared to betray us in other, more profound ways.

I have considered killing her, to see if that would end the discomfort. The problem with this idea is that I can't be positive that this won't just increase my sense of emptiness and despair. Plus, then the Volturi would surely retaliate against my family. And my family is one of the most important things in this life, if you could even call it that.

Truth be told, I'm not sure that I could do it.

But that doesn't mean that I am willing to put myself in her path of destruction again.

January 5, 1973

I am a fool.

I have done exactly as Alice expected and sought Bella out again. Largely, the results were predictable; Bella is a killer, a dedicated member of Aro's guard and she still tempts me with the same force with which she rejects me. But while her actions become more of a mystery to me; the more I keep thinking about them.

I waited until the last possible minute to make the decision to go to her and was forced to pay an exorbitant amount for my flight to the Western United States. I followed Alice's directions to Aspen, a resort town in Colorado. It is just after New Year's and the town was full of slumming old money, Euro-trash, rich college kids on vacation rock stars and drug dealers for all of the above. It is an excellent place for someone looking to drown themselves in sensation and amorality to come. It's just the sort of place I would expect to find Bella.

Alice had given me an address which I quickly found was among the newly built mansions that housed the pleasure-seekers of the town. I decided to approach the house from the rear to avoid being conspicuous, although there was little need. There was a party happening and I could hear the sounds and thoughts of the debauchees.

I was so distracted by the cloud of incoherence pouring out at me from the house that I failed to realize that there was a much more sober mind waiting outside in a copse of trees. I heard his mind and determined his location as he called my name.

"Edward Cullen, what a strange place to see you." Demitri, the immortal who had accompanied Bella last time I saw her, in whose thoughts I saw their trysts, stepped out of the cluster of trees.

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you." I said, watching him carefully for a threat. His body and face were still but his mind teemed with curiosity.

"Isabella is inside." He glanced over my shoulder at the house warily. "You don't intend to interfere, do you?"

"It depends upon your mission." I said, trying to pick details out of his head. I could see a face of a vampire I didn't know; longish brown-hair and a stocky build.

"His name is Matthew. He was changed recently, we don't know by whom." Demitri looked at me carefully. 'You can see his face, right? I mean, in my thoughts?"

I nodded and he continued. "He revealed our secret to a woman, we assume because he thought she was too intoxicated. He's also been less than careful about his…meal choices." Demitri winced and I saw the bodies of two young girls, lying in the snow, their bodies drained.

"She's dealing with him alone?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. No matter how I felt about Bella facing a potentially unbalanced newborn was dangerous.

"She's luring him out here. I think she can do that on her own, don't you?" I was infinitely familiar with how capable she was of luring men to her side, I wondered if Demitri was taunting me but his thoughts bore no malice.

"I won't interfere." I said, moving closer to the house. I could see a glassed off enclosure containing a hot tub. The party's attendees stood around in various states of dress, some in swimsuits and some in jeans and turtlenecks. The glass was steamed up from the tub but I could still see through it.

Then I saw her.

She wore a black bikini which revealed more of her pale body than I had ever seen before. Her undergarments of the 1950's had been less revealing than what passed for appropriate apparel in today's world. I could see the eyes following her as she approached the hot tub. I could hear the thoughts of the men around her, how they coveted her.

She stepped into the tub and reached an ivory arm out to a man whose back was to us. He took her hand and she guided his climb up out of the tub. When he cleared the crowd and turned slightly, I could see the very vampire I had seen in Demitri's mind. She had picked out and lured their target.

As we watched she pulled him closer and tilted her head up to whisper in his ear. His free hand came down to rest on her hip and she pulled her face away and gave him that seductive smile I had seen on her face so many years ago in my bedroom in New York City and in the cabin. I wanted to kill him for getting that smile from her. I wanted to tear his arm off for daring to touch her.

She led him out of sight and I took an involuntary step closer but Demitri placed a surprisingly gentle hand on my arm.

"Wait." he said. I restrained myself but just barely.

It was less than a minute later that a door opened up leading out onto a deck and Bella and her prey stepped out into the cold. I tried to listen to see if they had been observed. Stepping outside in the snow in a wet swimsuit would surely attract attention since it would be hazardous to anyone who wasn't a vampire. I found nothing in the sea of minds in the house. I thought for a moment I detected a familiar mind, but before I could focus on it, I was distracted by the approach of Bella and the doomed vampire.

It took him a moment to notice us, as distracted as he was by her. By the time he registered our presence Demitri was a split-second away from him. Too close for him to flee.

"What in the…" Matthew took in Demitri as Bella let go of his hand and Demitri grabbed him in a bear-hug.

"Matthew Holcomb, you have been sentenced to be executed by the court of the Volturi for the crimes of indiscretion and violating our primary rule. You do not reveal our nature to humans and allow them to live." Isabella spoke flatly, avoiding my eyes.

She nodded at Demitri grimly, and he let his captive go just long enough to grab the man's head and twist it off. It happened too fast for the doomed man to respond and his head dropped to the ground.

"We'll have to get the other one together." he said to her. "We'll put both of them in one of the abandoned cabins and burn the whole thing down." She nodded gravely and then looked at me.

"Edward, I didn't expect you. Are you here to help?" The corner of her mouth turned up in a wry grin but her face was inscrutable, her affect flat.

"You didn't mention another one?" I began to wonder again about the mind I had heard from the house. It was familiar, someone I had met before but not anyone I was familiar with. I strained to pick it up again but there were too many people in the house.

"A female. Older. She probably didn't make him, but she's been seen with him and must know what he's been up to." Demitri looked at me warily. An image came into his head and I saw why the mind inside was vaguely familiar. It was Tanya, a very old vampire, perhaps older than the Volturi themselves. She was a "vegetarian" like us and a friend of Carlisle's. Tanya had expressed a great deal of interest in me whenever we met which made me uncomfortable but that didn't mean that I didn't owe it to Carlisle to try to help her.

"I know her. She's always shown the utmost discretion. I doubt she was a party to what he was doing." Demitri frowned slightly and Bella turned her eyes to me and for the first time I saw a flash of emotion there. She looked...unsettled, her nostrils flared slightly in anger or distress. I couldn't tell exactly which.

"But, our orders are clear. We are supposed to destroy her as well." Demitri looked nervous and in his mind I could see him considering what would happen to them if they didn't follow orders. It was unpleasant, certainly not as quick or merciful as what they had done to Matthew.

"Demitri." Bella's voice was quiet. "Could you go get my clothes? They're in a bathroom right off the kitchen." Demitri nodded and turned to go into the house. Right before going up the stairs to the deck Bella had come from he looked back at us. I could hear the curiosity in his thoughts and a tinge of jealousy. I snorted. I wished I could tell him that there was no chance of her doing anything with me.

She turned to me. "This woman," she sneered. "How well do you know her?" I didn't need to be able to read her thoughts to be able to understand what she was asking. Her face showed anger, and I was confused as to the cause of it.

I considered lying to her and telling her that Tanya and I were lovers, to see if she would express any jealousy. But I doubted that I would get the response I wanted and I could endanger Tanya in the process of trying to provoke Bella.

"She's an acquaintance of Carlisle's. We've met a few times." She nodded slowly at me, the slight sneer frozen on her face, but there was no conviction behind it.

"And yet you're willing to take on the guard to protect her?" she asked. Her question should have sounded like a threat but it was more curious somehow. The door behind her opened again and Tanya and Demitri appeared in the doorway.

"Edward?" she callled, tilting her head in surprise. "What are you doing here?" Tanya came down the steps, elegant in a silk dress and high boots covered by a fur coat. She came towards us quickly, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one saw.

"Edward." Tanya said again, flirtatiously, tossing her hair. She gave a quick glance to Bella, who was taking her clothes from Demitri and quickly dressing. Bella should have looked vulnerable and bland, standing next to a brilliant, stunning creature like Tanya in such a state of undress. But to me, Bella was all I could see. Even when standing quietly there, she drew my eyes like a glowing coal.

"Tanya, this is Bella." I gestured to Bella. Tanya's eyes passed over her again and then settled on the severed head of Matthew behind her.

"I warned him he would attract the attention of the guard." she mused to me continuing to ignore Bella. I wanted to tell her that she needed to try to placate Bella as much as she could but I could see that Tanya was jealous and wanted to make her feel inferior.

Bella was still uncharacteristically quiet. Demitri looked at her carefully before speaking.

"We have orders to destroy both of you," he said. Tanya glanced at him quickly.

"I had nothing to do with his actions. When I realized that we were sharing the town, I warned him that he was attracting attention. Tanya's head filled with the assurance that this was a ploy on the part of the Volturi to get rid of her because of her age.

"We see that." Bella said quickly. "Come, Demitri, we're done here." he looked at her in shock, his mind filling with fear. She saw his concern.

"I'll tell Aro you wanted to fulfill orders and I wouldn't help. What could you do? You would be outnumbered." She gestured to me, not meeting my eyes.

"Bella," I said. Why was she doing this? She ignored me and began pulling Demitri away. He followed her, glancing back at us. "Lucky," he thought. But I couldn't tell whether he was talking about Tanya or myself.

Bella didn't give me a second glance as they left, leaving me with a stunned Tanya. She quickly overcame her confusion and regained her libido, however, and was making advances.

How could I? How could I think of engaging in a dalliance with Tanya when, for all her distance, for all her rejection, all I could think of was Bella? I wished that I could forget her, I wished that she didn't simultaneously reject and tempt me.

a/n: The sublime EverlastingMuse beta's this and Liz3615 pre-reads it and cheers me on. Thanks for putting up with the interminable delays and history-a-palooza. Next chapter we will be back in the present for the majority of the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Xoxo JuJu