Chapter 10: A Derpy Little Love Letter

[A/N] The racy letter soon to follow was inspired by a great and well known fandom author's short interesting story(?).This, is of course that sexy filly Butterscotch Sundae. In fact, she had a hand in inspiring me to write this kinda fanfic by all of hers.

Derpy got up just like every day, a disheaviled blonde mane and a hoof wrapped around a half eaten 'special' muffin. "Muffin...?" She muttered groggily, rolling over on her back and swallowing the other half of the muffin whole with a satisfied grin, it like all it's brothers, going straight to her flank.

"Where did daddy go again, mommy?" Her little filly asked quietly, rolling over onto her my mom's crumb covered tummy.

"He went out on a vacation, leaving us behind to live our lives without him..." The wall-eyed mare explained, wrapping her fore-legs around her daughter tight.

"But where's he vacationing?" Her still curious filly asked again, as children often do.

"Oh out among the stars!" Derpy smiled closing her eyes, holding back both tear and sad tone, "Like maybe on some bright chrystaline planet ironically called Night, or some Lost moon of something or other!"

"Wow, a lost moon..." The filly replied in a gasp of awe, looking up to the battered roof of their house to the stars, slowly being covered in an orange and pink hued blanket of day. Her Mom was looking up too, smiling and crying a single tear beside herself.

"Who knows Dinky," Derpy whispered softly, closing her eyes, "Maybe Daddy will return today..."

"Really? Today?" Dinky almost shrieked before changing to a sing-song manor, bouncing around. "Daddy's coming hooome! Daddy's coming hooome! Daddy's coming hooome!"

At her daughter's exuberant circles, Derpy giggled and grabbed her three mail bags. Two were to be actually used for mail she was transferring to and from the post office, the third for special letters that were all secrets to be kept, not sent.

As she jostled on the third one onto her withers, a little red envelope fell out, her name scrawled on it elegantly with black ink.

"Hmmh?..." she grunted inquisitively, the strap in her mouth blocking actual speech till she shifted it to a choker around her neck, "What's this?"

She examined it and noticed that it bore no stamp. She blushed deeply, thinking to herself, 'A love letter... For me..?'

She slowly ran a hoof against the envelope, noticing it was made of near velvet paper, the kind only the Canterlot elite could use for letters of great urgency. "What's that?" Dinky sighed in surprise, her eyes growing big, grabbing it with her mouth.

"That.. Is a secret among the people of Equestria and it's mail-ponies, my muffin!" Derpy grinned proudly, taking the letter from her toddler's mouth,"Maybe one day you will become a mailmare and know how important a deed those things are."

Before the unicorn could respond though, her mom flew through their roof with a determined stare, as per usual missing the hole she was aiming for by a foot and creating a new one. "Ugh..." The pegasus moaned, rubbing her head, "Not another one... Curse my mailmare minimum salary..."

As she began making her rounds and getting more 'private' letters, the image of the red envelope came more and more until finally she stopped mid-street, tearing open the letter.

Dear the most beautiful mailmare Derpy,

How I wish I could descend to your stature so that I might not feel ashamed. For as you know and can tell from my letter's encasement, I am someone of higher class. But only in stature as far as I am concerned.

You see, I am after all just a simple unicorn at heart like you are in reality. Except, I haven't had the heart to give you as of recent events, what with the being married and all.

Truth be told, I had much preferred Chrysalis over Cadence, you being better than both put together of course, but that's a fact better left untold. Or opinion actually I guess...

In any case, back to your beauty. Countless times as I watched your luscious flank dissipate into the distance, I day dreamed about just getting so much as a chance to be off duty and feel its heat beneath my hoof.

To feel the small of ur back against my barrel, tracing the curve from your soft whirlwind gray ear to your withers with nips, licks, and hickies, all the while thrusting into your tight orifice, eliciting moans of ecstasy that everyone in the castle could hear despite your face being buried in a pillow.

"What the? Is it raining?" Lyra murmured in disgust, wiping away the sticky drop that fell on her head looking up. When she looked up, she saw the pursed sideways lips of Derpy dripping drool and up higher her actual lips mouthing words, her cheeks heavily red, much like the unicorn's right now. "Derpy getting wet from mail and in mid flight hovering over the road..." Lyra muttered to herself moving on, "I'm going to go with I'm dreaming... Such a strange dream..."

I suppose that is a little vivid small picture of the things I want to do to you that I should keep to myself but I don't care! Celestia herself, nor any pony else would stop me from loving you the way I want: by making you wetter than Rainbow Dash did her flight school mates. Perhaps even using some 'slipping cartwheel' tongue trick or something like she did. I'm sure your muffin will taste far better than one any baker could make, even that Element of Laughter baker pony herself, Pinkie Pie.

Heck your personality itself is better than that exuberant party pony, no offense on her part, because your bubbly personality is perfectly in balance, not too calm, not too excitable. Just enough to scream loud enough to be hot but not loud enough to make my ears bleed. And I'm sure you don't come confetti neither... though I suppose that wouldn't be a problem would it?

Certainly would be a surprise though... Though I suppose I should be used to things like that since Cadence wanted that three-way so she didn't hurt the other pink pony's feelings. I'd vastly prefer it'd been you but then again Cadence would still be mad about that wine incident.

I still laugh about that. Who woulda known that rocking chair could go that deep!

Anyway until your delicious flank inspires me to clop, Opps I mean write, again.

Your now not-so-secret-admirer,

Shining Armor

When Derpy read that name, she realized something. There was a chunk of her memory missing from when she just delivered mail to Canterlot...