No More Games

Chapter Twelve

"I'm sorry, Sue," he said as he finally pulled his lips from hers. He didn't completely pull away from her, though. He'd only pulled just far enough away for her to read him, but not so far away that he wouldn't be able to kiss her at will.

Sue blinked up at him as she fought through the intense fog that clouded her mind. Jack's kisses were intoxicating that she'd forgotten everything around them and where they stood. Thankfully nighttime traffic was slow tonight.

"For what?" she asked once most of the fog cleared, but she couldn't stop her eyes from darting back to his lips, hoping for just one more taste.

He allowed his hands to flatten against her back and rubbed at the skin he knew was under the thickness of her jacket. She shivered in his embrace and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. "For being a bit slow on the uptake." He chuckled as her eyebrows knitted together in that adorable way they did when she was confused. "Or for just plain old being blind to what's in front of me."

Sue found herself shivering again. She could have blamed it on a cold breeze that had rushed by, but the night was surprisingly calm for a North East winter. No, instead she'd shivered because of a surprising heat. And that was the heat in his eyes.

She shook her head. "I-I don't think I understand." A lump had formed in her throat that very instant. Was he really talking about what she thought he was? She swallowed thickly as butterflies were suddenly awakened and madly began to flutter around her stomach.

Jack removed one hand from around her back and took hold of one of hers. "I'm talking about you, Sue," he whispered as he pulled her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. "I'm talking about us."

"U-us?" Why all of a sudden could she not regain control of her voice and her nerves and her… everything really.

"There are a lot of things I've done throughout our past that I'm not exactly proud of. I've pushed you aside when all I wanted to do was pull you closer." There was a deep hurt in his eyes that she'd never seen before. "And I hope that you'll be able to forgive me someday."

"There's nothing to forgive." The words left her mouth before she had the chance to think about them. But as she spoke them, she'd felt like nothing could be closer to the truth. There really was nothing to forgive. It was her turn to smile at his confusion. "I understand why you did the things you did. I might not have at the time, but after I took the time to think it trough… you were really just pushing me away to keep me safe, weren't you?"

He nodded. "Yes."

A sense of calm surrounded her at that moment. She was suddenly understanding a great deal more than she had all those other times when she'd sat up late at night and questions the motives of Jack Hudson—FBI Agent. But that's not who she was looking at right now. All the pretenses of work, the façade he used while working a case was gone. She wasn't looking at Special Agent Jack Hudson. She was just looking at Jack Hudson. The real Jack Hudson.

The man she loved more than life itself.

Though despite that, she couldn't help by ask, "Why?"

It was like he'd been anticipating the question and he'd taken the time she'd been using to ask it to build up some sort of inner strength he needed to get the words out. She held her breath in anticipation.

"I love you, Sue."

As much as she could have prepared herself to see his lips formed those words, she still found tears flooding her vision. She quickly blinked them away, but only more came forth. She didn't know what to say. Fortunately, she didn't have to say anything.

"I should have told you sooner, Sue. I shouldn't have wasted so much time." A frown suddenly lined around his mouth as he reflected on all of the times he could have—and most importantly should have told her. There were far too many times to count. "And for that, I consider myself a coward."

"A coward? Jack…" she tried to explain, but he just shook his head.

"No, Sue. I am a coward. I chose to hide behind a few rules and regulations when I should have just followed my heart. But it led me straight to you before I even realized and by that time…" He shook his head and just left his words to hang. What would he say? It had been too late? She didn't deserve to see those words on his lips.

"You're wrong, you know," she finally spoke up when he didn't say any more. He finally let her hand drop, along with his head. But she managed to raise them both so he would look her in the eye. "You are. And despite your stubborn male ego and the fact that you don't want to hear it, you are wrong." Her thumb gently brushed against the area around his mouth. The one thing she hated more in the whole entire world was to see Jack Hudson sad. "You're not a coward."

"I was afraid you were going to leave me," he blurted out, the pain still evident in his eyes.

She nodded as she took in a breath. So that's what this was all about.

Smiling softly, she met his eyes with her gentle gaze. "I couldn't leave you. No matter how great some job opportunity could be, I just couldn't leave you because that would mean I would still be losing you in the end."

He shook his head in argument. "No, Sue. I'm yours, now. I have been for a long time, despite the fact that I couldn't tell you. You'll never lose me."

More tears pooled in her eyes and she could help but laugh at herself. How long ago had it been that she'd been complaining about her appearance and here she was bawling her eyes out? "Is that a promise?" was the first question she could voice.

The smile that bloomed on his features was one that made both their hearts soar. He wanted nothing more to reassure her; to take her in his arms and show her that he was never going to leave her. But instead, he shook his head. "No, Sue. I can't me a promise like that." The smile was falling from her face at a rapid pace. He had to finish what he'd meant to say before he really messed things up again. "Not a promise," he quickly continued, "but a vow." A gorgeous smile blossomed on her features and his heart picked up its pace just from the sight. "I love you, Sue Thomas and I vow—with all my heart and soul—that I will never love another woman as long as I live. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives, if you'll have me, I mean."

Sue suddenly didn't know what to think. She'd seen things like this happen in movies and read them in books, but she'd never dreamed that she'd actually see the day when she saw such beautiful words come from someone who loved her and she loved in return. Was it? Could it be? "Jack… was that… did you just…" She just didn't know how to ask that question.

"Not exactly. I just want you to know my intensions. I love you and I intend to marry you one day." He'd said it again. He felt his smile grow even wider as he thought about that. After not being able to tell her his feelings for so long, he intended to tell her how much he loved her every moment of every day for the rest of their lives.

"I don't know what to say."

Relieved that he'd been able to get all of this off his chest, Jack suddenly felt like he'd returned to his old self. Tongue in cheek, he smiled down at her, his eyes twinkling in mischief. "Well, usually when something tells you that they love you, you're usually supposed to return the favor."

"Oh!" She couldn't believe she'd forgotten. She'd just been so overwhelmed by his words that returning the endearment had never crossed her mind. "I love you too, Jack." Her emotions were now becoming more troublesome. She sniffled loudly as he cradling her face in his hands. They were so loving and gentle and it just made her want to cry even harder. "I love you so much," she whispered before his lips touched hers.

The kiss was slow and gentle, offering future promises of love and happiness together, but also revealing the present feelings of that same love and happiness together.

The hand that still rested against her back rose to her hair, his fingers eager to tangle in her golden locks. But he forgot the important document he held in his hand and pulled away to figure out what he was doing with it in the first place.

"What's that?" Sue asked, holding tightly to the arm that had snaked around her waist as she turned in his embrace to see the crumpled envelope in his hand.

"I made a request a month or so ago to the Director," he told her, noticing how much his hand was shaking. But he had to remember that no matter what it said, nothing was going to change his mind. He'd finally taken the leap to get to Sue. He wasn't going to back away when he was so close to heaven. "It's about you… well, us really."

"Us?" The word gave her chills that she'd never experienced before.

"After the case with Joe Wolfe, I did a lot of… soul searching, I guess you could say. Kristen was the first woman I'd ever thought of having a life with and I'll admit that dealing with Joe brought up a great deal of memories. But that's all they were. They were memories of the life I could have had." He stopped to take in a shaky breath as the memories he faced during that case came back full force. "But as you say, God must have had other plans for me. And now I understand why."

Sue smiled. "I get that part, Jack. Really, I do, but what about the letter?"

He couldn't resist pulling her close and kissing her on the forehead. "Right to the point. I knew there was a reason I loved you so much."

"And I love the fact that you love me," she teased in return.

"Because of that case, I went to the Director and I laid my heart on the line. I told him that I'd finally realized how much I truly loved you. And I told him that nothing was going to hold me back. I wanted to be with you and no amount of bureaucracy was going to stop me this time… I told him to transfer me to another team."

"Jack, you didn't!" She didn't care how much he fought, she was not going to allow him to do that. The team just wouldn't be the same without him.

"Don't worry, sweetheart…" he paused as the endearment crossed his lips. It had been an unconscious action and yet it still felt so right. By the tentative smile that crossed her features, she seemed to enjoy it just as much. "He wouldn't accept that. He told me to give him some time so he could see what he could do to prevent that from happening."

"So now you have the answer," she pressed, urging him to open the letter and find out what it said; to find out what their future with the FBI entailed.

"Right… now I have it…" But he just couldn't bring himself to open in. "You open it," he urged as he pushed it into her hands.

Nodding, she carefully ripped open the seal and removed the slip of paper from inside. With shaking hands and nerves she hadn't realized she'd had, she carefully unfolded the letter and with her back resting against his chest, they both read it at the same time.