„Olivia, what do you mean?", Elliot was panicking.
"I have to go to the restroom.", Olivia jumped up and shoved Elliot out of her way. She suddenly started to ran to the restroom. Elliot ran after her, followed by Captain Cragen.
Cragen tried to stop him. "Elliot wait, let her go." "No, didn't you hear what she was saying? This pedophile bastard over there was her mother's boyfriend when she was eight years old. Look how she reacted when she heard his voice, you know what that means."
"Wait a second, she did not say that he touched her." "Are you kidding?", Elliot made a few steps back into Cragen's direction. "Where have you been the last decade during we were working sex crimes?"
Cragen stepped also closer so that the people around, who already stopped working, couldn't hear what he was saying. "I know what it means Elliot, but I think she needs time to process what she just discovered."
"No, I don't let her alone with it.", he turned around and ran after Olivia.
He stepped into the women restroom and found her kneeling over a toilet, he locked the door and stepped behind her. She looked up and when their eyes met Elliot felt a pain inside which he hoped he would never feel. He always knew, would one of the things he sees every day happen to one of his children, he would die by the overwhelming pain he would feel inside. He sat down and just looked at her, he couldn't say anything.
"He was so nice to me, he went to the zoo with me and he read me my favorite books. I really liked him.", Olivia looked desperately at Elliot. "Liv, I'm so sorry."
"How could I forget that." "Liv, you didn't forget it you displaced it, it was necessary for your surviving. There was no one there who you could have trusted to help you. You couldn't even trust your mother that she would help and not punish you."
"The first time he did it, was after he went to the zoo with me. He helped me to take a bath after wards. He brought me into my room, my mum had a hangover and was sleeping. I could have made him stop." "No Liv, you know that isn't true. You were eight years old, there was nothing you could have done to stop him." Probably the only reason, why he choose your Mum to be with, were you. It was a perfect opportunity for him, a fatherless girl with a drunk mother. Let me guess he met her in a bar? Liv, he planned it from the moment he met your mother, don't blame yourself that this happened."
Olivia closed her eyes. "He helped me to put my underwear on, it was weird I didn't like how he was touching me, but he promised me to read me my favorite book and I just wanted him to stay. I cuddled into my bed and he went to my bookshelf and grabbed a book. He took 'Oh, the places you'll go' cause I told him a few days before that this is my favorite. He came back to my bed and told me to move a little bit so that he has space to sit to me. He opened his arm for me to cuddle in and I did it. I liked him Elliot and I didn't want him to stop or to go away. He read me the book and after he was finished he told me to turn onto my belly, he said he would give me a massage so that I could sleep better. I didn't know if my mum would be mad that he spent so much time with me that day and I didn't want her to be mad at him. I didn't want her to break up with him. So I told him that I was fine and that I'm very thankful for everything he had done for me that day, but it would be better to go now; before my mum would recognize that he spent the whole day with me. He laughed and said I shouldn't worry about that my mum wouldn't wake up until tomorrow."
Elliot was sighing: "He drugged her!" Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I think so."
I turned onto my belly and he started to massage my back but after a few seconds he told me that he couldn't massage me when I have my nightdress on. He helped me to put it off and he told me to stay like this he would be back in a minute. He went outside and came back with my body lotion he put the lotion on my back and started stroking me. I liked it. I closed my eyes and almost fell a sleep."
"Liv, please don't blame yourself. It is okay that you liked the massage, every child needs body contact and every child needs to be cared for, your mum didn't give you enough of that it wasn't your fault."
"I know Elliot, it's just that from what I know now, there were so many signs that this would happen. I can't believe my mum didn't recognize it. Do you think she knew it but she didn't care?"
"No Liv, I don't think that. I think she was so occupied with her own problems that she didn't recognize it. How many parents did we met over the years who were so shocked that their child was abused and they had a lot less problems than your mother had."
Olivia sneered. "He said he has to put my panties down so he wouldn't accidentally put the lotion onto it."
Elliot closed his eyes.
"He started to stroke me everywhere, that was the point where I told him that I felt uncomfortable, but he told me that it was okay. He undressed himself and laid back into my bed, he told me that he spent a lot of money for me that day and that stroking each other would be the way how grown up people thank each other. I never saw a naked man before and I stared at his penis. He got a huge smile on his face and asked me if I wanna touch it."
Elliot was swallowing loud he heard all of this so many times but thinking of Olivia as the victim of it almost killed him. He clenched his fists until the skin over his knuckles turned white.
Note: Okay, there are two ways now to go on and I'm not sure how I shall go on. One way would be to really describe what happened and one way would be to go on with the story without really describing the abuse. I'm not sure if I want to describe it in detail although I think it would be good for the story but I feel a huge barrier inside of me to write something like this down.
What do you want me to do, please let me know and please review. Ah, by the way I'm really tired right now and English isn't my mother language and I think some of the dots and commas are really wrong and I messed up tenses but if it's annoying you, just stop reading. ;o)