„Are you sure, Elliot?" "Yes, I'm. I have to, Liv."
"Okay.", Olivia leaned her head against his chest again, she could hear his heartbeat, she listened for a few seconds to it, it helped her to clam her down.
"He continued pushing his finger into me. After a while it stopped hurting a little bit but I just wanted him to stop. I started begging him, I told him that I would kiss him again down there, if he would just stop touching me like this. But he didn't. I started to fight against him but he hold me closer to his chest and threatened again to tell my mum that I didn't behave myself when he was alone with me and that I was the one who took the money. He told me to touch his penis again, to stroke it like I did it before. He was still holding me like a baby in his arms with his finger in me. I felt his penis harden immediately. He then suddenly stopped, pulled his finger out and laid me onto the bed, he pushed my legs apart and entered me with his penis. I started to scream, it hurt so much. I screamed for my mum. I wasn't scared anymore that she would punish me. No matter how bad she ever hit me, it was never so painful than the pain was when he entered me. I wanted my mum to stop him. But she didn't come. He moved back and forth and was thrusting into me, he started shaking his groaning went louder and then he crumpled and laid onto me, he was so heavy I thought he would crush me.
After he was done he stood up an dressed himself. He told me to stand up and we went to the bathroom. He made me shower. I was bleeding, he took some toilet paper and pressed it between my legs. He said it would stop after a while and ordered me to sit onto the toilet. He went out and I just waited for him to come back. I heard that he turned the TV on, but I didn't no if I was allowed to go back to my room. I was so tired my eyes felt shut every few seconds and I just wanted to go into my bed and sleep. It must have been 30 or 40 minutes before he came back. He pulled me up and made me stand onto the toilet, he looked between my legs and said: 'See, it already stopped you're not bleeding anymore.'
We went back to my room, I was so scared that he would do it again. But he told me to put my nightdress back on. He lifted me into my bed and laid my blanket over me. He stroke my hair and said: 'Olivia you're such a beautiful girl and it was so great being with you today. I know that it did hurt what we were doing, but I swear it will be better soon. The next time we do it, it won't hurt as much as today, I promise.' I started to cry and begged him not to do it again. He laid his finger onto my mouth and said: "Sh, it's okay!"
I said I would tell my mum what happened. He started to laugh and said: 'Olivia, you know your mum wouldn't believe you. She would just be really mad at you for saying something like that and she would end up hitting you. Do you want that? Do you want her to hit you for telling a lie?'
I cried harder and told him that it wouldn't be a lie. But he just said that I should be really sure that my mum would believe me, cause he was sure that she would beat me up really bad for saying stuff like that. Deep inside I was sure that he was right, I couldn't be sure that my mum would believe me and I was scared what she would do if she would not believe me.
He went out and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up the next day my mum was already up but she was in a really bad mood and screamed at me to stay out of her way when I walked into her. I went back to my room and I knew that I could never ever tell her, cause he was right, she would beat me up worse than ever before."
"Liv, I'm so sorry.", Elliot sighed deeply.
"I know Elliot. How could I ever forget all this. We're working sex crimes for years I heard stuff like this almost every day the last decade, how does it come that I never remembered?"
"I don't know Liv. Maybe you buried it so deep down that it was almost as it was erased from your brain. And William Perkins' voice was the trigger who brought the memories back."
Olivia sighed. "Can you stay with me until I fall asleep? I don't wanna be alone right now."
Elliot was shattered by the vulnerability in Olivia's voice. "Sure I do, I would never leave you alone like this. Just close your eyes and rest a little. I will be here when you wake up, I promise."
"No Elliot, you don't have to stay, you have to go home to your family, it would be nice if you would stay until I fall asleep, you can go then really."
"Liv, look at me.", Elliot took Olivia's chin and turned her head up until he could see into her eyes. "I'm not gonna leave you, do you understand me? Just close your eyes and rest."
Olivia was snuggling back onto his chest. "Thanks, El.", was everything she said before she fell asleep. Safely buried in Elliot's embrace.