Notes: I wrote this a while back when I had some minor writer's block in math class, and just never got around to posting it. Again, the prompt is my own.
Title: at night you stir my dreams into nightmares
Pairing: Edward/Jacob
Prompt: illicit desire
Words: 361 words
Disclaimer: The Twilight series is in no way mine; it belongs to Stephanie Meyer, and I'm definitely not her seeing as how I'm not filthy rich at all.
. at night you stir my dreams into nightmares .
Only when his room is completely covered by the darkness of night does Jacob let those thoughts and dreams come to the forefront of his mind. He waits until he's alone because he knows just how wrong what he longs for is. There's no way he can let anyone know of the fantasies he harbors or he'd be courting exile, or even death.
Though, he doesn't think that dying would be so bad; at least then he'd be free from those eyes which haunt him every time he closes his own. There's nowhere that he could run where he'd be free of him. Jacob's caught and tangled in the web cast by the ultimate predator, and there's no way out. His fate should scare him, leave him with horribly vivid nightmares, but it doesn't.
He wants it. At night, alone, his entire body longs for that ice cold touch that he'd never admit to wanting out loud. The line between love and hate, thin as it is, has been crossed and there's no turning back. He's stuck in a no man's land right now, but he's teetering on the edge of it. One way or another, he'll make Edward notice him; even if it kills him.
The desire for Edward's touch overpowers those feelings of self-preservation, making him almost suicidal.
It should be harder then it is, to decide how he'll die, but Jacob finds it surprisingly easy. Unlike Bella, making decisions was easy for Jacob. It was dealing with the consequences which he struggled with. This time, though, he likes how his decision could play out.
Either he's going to be accepted or rejected, the latter would hurt but Jacob could deal with it. Death would follow shortly after that. And even though he wants Edward to be the one to end his life, he knows that's unlikely. He'll have to rely on the pack. And if all else failed, then there would be one last avenue left to him.
He could take his own life, but Jacob hates the idea of that, he doesn't want to break his father's heart anymore then he already will.
Tomorrow would decide everything.
FIN.
Yay for drabbles. Yeah, this might seem really similar to before the night turns into dawn, but this did originally come first. I get the feeling that I've been filching my own ideas... oh well, nothing to do about that.
Hope this was enjoyed.
Twilight.