It was macaroni and hot dog day in the mess and, for a change, Jade's schedule permitted her to join the rest of the crew for dinner.
"It's nice to know that, even after almost two hundred years, these things are still only barely palatable." She said to Vega, poking at the hot dog on her tray.
"Hey, you don't want it, I'll gladly take it off your hands."
"Back off, Hardmeat!" She smacked the hand reaching for her meal. "That paw of yours gets any closer and you'll pull back a bloody stump."
"Yowza! You wield a wicked spoon, Gran."
The mess was crowded, crew drifting in and out as they finished their meals. The victory at the citadel and a string of smaller, equally successful missions had kept morale high. Laughter spontaneously broke out at one of the table where Donnelly was sharing stories from the collector mission. A tall, dark-haired man maneuvered around the knot of people, his tray piled high enough Jade rose an eyebrow.
"So that's the new guy Shepard picked up?" She watched the newcomer sit down and tuck into the meal with the kind of enthusiasm she usually associated with teenage athletes.
"Yeah, sort of. Major Alenko's not new, exactly. He was with us when we left Earth. Got hurt pretty bad on Mars. That was about a month before we found you."
"He looks like a clerk." Jade said around a mouthful of macaroni. "Gah! This is worse than the powdered shit you used to get in MREs. I didn't think that was possible."
Vega shrugged and ignored the faces she was pulling. "Looks can be deceiving. He's a Marine, a combat leader. And he was on Shepard's team three years ago when they took down Saren. He's been here since the beginning."
"Well, except for that bit in the middle." Donnelly interjected. "When we went after the collectors. He wasn't there for that."
Alenko spoke up. "You know I can hear you, right?"
Christ, he sounds like a clerk. Jade's eyes widened at his breathy, almost girlish voice. I guess it's a good thing they've got comms to convey orders on the battlefield. I don't think this guy could manage a command voice if his life depended on it.
"Sure I know that Major," Vega replied. "I'm just filling Gran here in on what was already common knowledge. I wasn't dogging you."
"I was."
"Kenneth!" Daniels punched the other engineer in the arm. "Respect your senior officers."
"I'm sorry my unwillingness to work with a known terrorist organization inconvenienced you."
"Oh, it didn't."
The pair glared at each other across the mess table. The tension was palpable and Donnelly wasn't the only one giving the Major the stinkeye. Finally, Daniels managed to pull her partner away.
"Wait a minute – Gran?" Jade arched an eyebrow at her dinner companion.
"Sure," Vega shrugged. "The only person on this boat older than you is the scion of a race that died out fifty thousand years ago. Gran fits."
Alenko glanced between the two, confusion written plainly on his face. Finally, Vega opted to offer him some relief.
"Gran went down for an ice nap back in the early Twenty First Century. Cerberus brought her freeze-dried ass back as part of the same project that resurrected Shepard."
Alenko's eyes narrowed at the mention of Cerberus. "Really."
"Oh yeah," Jade leaned back and laced her fingers behind her head. "Unfortunately, they forgot about me when they abandoned the facility. I don't think they ever expected me to wake up."
"I know what you're thinking, man. But we've had her up against the Dogs since day one." Vega shook his head at the other man's doubtful look. "Hell, ask Shepard what she did on the Citadel. If she was going to cross us, I can't think of a better time. All it would have taken was just a little nudge and everything could have gone sideways."
"Maybe, but forgive me for not taking it on faith. Cerberus isn't particularly well known for making simple plans."
Jade shrugged and stood to take her tray to the kitchenette. "Ultimately what you think is irrelevant. This is Shepard's boat and if she trusts me, then I'll go where she sends me. If she doesn't then I'll be in the brig. You got a problem, take it up with her. I don't have either the time or the inclination to hash it out with you right here and now."
The moment stretched taut as the two clashed silently across the room. Alenko glowered at Jade as though he thought he could discern all of her secrets with a look. But all he met with was utter indifference. I'm not about to let a jumped up personnelist get under my skin, buddy. She thought with a small smirk as he dropped his eyes from her cool, gray stare and muttered something about going to find Shepard. Better men than you have tried and failed to stare me down. Hell, she snorted at the memory. The last guy to successfully pull that move off was Brian and he's more than a hundred years dead and gone.
She shot a look at Vega behind the Major's retreating back.
"Dios, one of these days that mouth of yours is going to get us both in trouble. I swear you've managed to piss off everyone on this ship at least once. Granted, the Major's a bit of a pendejo but it's like you go out of your way to push people's buttons."
"It's a gift."
/She hasn't pissed me off yet/ Joker's voice was thin and tinny over the shipboard comms.
"That's because you're the only asshole on this ship with a functioning sense of humor." Jade rolled her eyes at the ceiling, knowing his video feeds would pick the movement up. "Besides, your girlfriend is literally the ship. I don't fancy finding out just what she can do when she's pissed."
/Smart woman. But I didn't call down there just to let you bask in my sparkling personality. Shepard wants to see you both in the briefing room. It seems we've picked up another fetch quest./
The two in the mess let out simultaneous groans.
"Tell her we're on our way. Just as fast as the elevator can get us there." Jade snagged her jacket from the back of her chair and gave Vega another raised eyebrow.
"Lead the way, Gran." He flashed her a grin as he gestured her ahead. "Age before beaut – Oof! Watch the stomach!"
"Watch yourself, McLargeHuge. Remember, you still haven't stepped up to prove you can beat me three rounds out of five in the ring like you were bragging at poker the other night."
"Name the time and place, Gran." This time, he caught the elbow she threw as the doors closed on them.