Authors Note: I figured I let you guys suffer long enough…or maybe I haven't…mwahahahaha!

Feelings: Chapter 8

Doofenshmirtz didn't even attempt to deny any of the charges being filed against him, simply because…they were all true. He did it.

He killed Perry the Platypus.

He just couldn't control himself. That part of him took over and he just…did it. The scientist remembered every moment of the attack and then everything was hazy before he passed out. It made him watch himself kill the mammal. He was forced to watch from his eyes and he couldn't look away because he wasn't in control of his own body. He wasn't in his right mind. It wasn't that he was crazy, that wasn't the case at all.

His mind wasn't in control and he couldn't stop himself. The scientist had to admit that he cried, his body didn't cry but he felt himself do it. He cried on the inside, and I don't mean that in sarcastic terms. Heinz literally felt the tears streaming down his face. They just weren't…literal. If that even makes any sense.

Now he was sitting in the dark, dusty corner of a jail cell in the OWCA containment unit. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his face was in his hands. Why couldn't he have stopped himself? He was able to stop himself from hurting the platypus once before, why couldn't he have done it then? Although it was a dream…No, he still could have done it!

He was weak, that was his only fault at this point. He was too weak to control himself and he was too weak to save Perry…from himself. THAT was just pathetic, how could he not save someone from himself? He should have done something.

Doofenshmirtz mind started to race and think of everything he could have done to prevent this from happening. He could have gone to a therapist instead of trying to extract the part of his mind himself. He could have called Major Monogram and told him not to send Perry the Platypus over- wait, he did do that.

…

"CURSE YOU MAJOR MONOBROW!"

When there was no response except for the echo of his own voice and the soundless darkness he curled back up in the corner.

He could have told Perry the Platypus to leave and never come back because he never wanted to see him again- actually…that sounded like a pretty good plan. He'd save that one for later if he ever needed it for some other type of situation. Maybe he'd use it on Vanessa or something when she was going off to college. If he would even get the chance to see her off to college, if he could ever get out of here…

He could have stayed AWAY from Perry but even that would have been fruitless, he would have just walked closer to the platypus anyways or followed him or something. Maybe he deserved to be here, no scratch that. He did deserve to be here. He deserved to rot in this cell for all of eternity. It was for other's safety, he'd protect the citizens of Danville from the pure evil lurking in his mind that was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to come out and wreak havoc on innocent people. Perry the Platypus would have wanted it this way. That was his job after all, to protect everyone and Heinz was simply taking his place in doing it. Yeah, he could live with that.

Doofenshmirtz smiled and lied back against the wall. He could totally live the rest of his life like that.

"Dad?"

Maybe not.

"Dad, are you in here?"

"Vanessa?" He got up and gripped the bars, surprised seeing his daughter here.

"Oh there you are dad!"

"Vanessa, what are you doing here?"

"Major Monogram called me. Dad, what happened? Why're you locked up in here? Did you do something wrong?"

Doofenshmirtz looked down at the floor.

"Dad?"

"Vanessa t-there's something I need to tell you. I did something really wrong and I-" He was starting to cry again "I can never forgive myself…"

"I'm sure you're just overreacting like you normally do. It's just like that time you branded that guy…you didn't do that again did you?"

"No I didn't, believe me I wish I branded someone but no…it's not like that time. I did something horrible and inexcusable. It was horrible and inexcusable that I hate myself because of it. N-not that I was completely fond of myself before this happened but this is me we're talking about here. No one likes me and I don't like myself because of it but now I just downright hate myself. My self-esteem was bad before but NOW-"

"Dad you're rambling again. Just tell me what you did, it can't be that bad."

Doofenshmirtz looked into his daughter's eyes. They were looking right back at him, waiting for an answer. The answer that'll probably make her hate and resent him forever but he didn't have a choice other than to tell her. Vanessa deserved to at least know why her father wasn't going to be in her life anymore and why he was going to be locked up forever with the key thrown away. He took a deep breath and said the five words that he wished never had to come out of his mouth.

"I killed Perry the Platypus."

…

"Dad you can't be serious, there's no way you could kill Perry. You two are close; some might even say you're inseparable. You told me yourself that you thought of him as family. Why would you just all of a sudden decide to get rid of him? "

"It just…happened. It was so sudden that I couldn't-" He fought back the tears that were coming up again "I couldn't stop myself…and now he's-"

"I'm sure it was an accident…right?" Vanessa asked but her father didn't answer, he just stared blankly back at her. "Dad?" She snapped her fingers and he jumped. He tilted his head much like a dog would do when it was confused but he soon found his words and spoke again.

"No…it wasn't. I did it intentionally and I meant it. I killed that little rat and I'm glad I did it."

Over the years Vanessa had grown to be fond of the little mammal. He was part of her life now and she couldn't imagine visiting her dad without him breaking down the door or the window…or the wall. It really was going to be different without the little guy…but she couldn't tear up now, her dad needed support right now. At least she thought he did, until now. He was actually glad about it. He was happy he had killed someone in cold blood. He looked upset though, his eyes were red from crying and the bags under his eyes were much worse than usual but here he was smirking at her in triumph and gloating. He started to describe the murder in great sickening details. She wanted him to stop talking because he was beginning to make her feel sick but he just kept talking.

"He deserved it too…he deserved every moment he suffered while conscious. Soon he lost consciousness but I still continued long after that…the thing still suffered, it whimpered and jerked while unconscious but that just proved I was doing a good job..."

Soon Vanessa couldn't take it anymore; she threw up and ran for the door. She cried that he was sick and other things as she left the building.

Doofenshmirtz smirked after her but his features soon fell and he teared up.

"Why're you doing this?" He seemingly asked no one but he soon heard the reply.

"I want you to suffer…you will have nothing when I am done with you. Everything you once had will be lost…you will sufferrrrr." The voice hissed back to him and the scientist knew, that much how Perry's suffering had forever ended...

His suffering was just beginning.

A/N: Tralfaz, that is all.