He Shouldn't Have Done That
By: Lesera128
Rated: M
Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.
Summary: Brennan ends her partnership with Booth after she considers his confession to Hannah about her the ultimate betrayal. AU.
A/N: I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate something in case anyone asks once they see where this chapter starts to stray. First, this story is appropriately labeled when it is characterized as "Temperance Brennan & Seeley Booth." Second, it is appropriately categorized as "Angst/Drama." Okay, so I did come very close to labeling it as "Angst/Hurt/Comfort," as you will see in coming chapters, but ultimately Angst/Drama won. Those facts are things that are very good things to keep in mind as we proceed. As ever, annoying flames will be fed to my pet dragon. A good piece of advice... if you don't like or agree with the story (be it premise, writing style, plot, characterization, or INSERT RANDOM GRIPE HERE), stop reading, hit the back button, and happy hunting for other stories. It's that simple. Otherwise, carry on. :)~
Chapter 5 – Five Months After
Between the last week in January and the third week in March, I spent a tremendous amount of time trying to figure out what had happened. One night, a night after I thought I really had been on my way to putting my past behind me, neatly storing it in a metaphorical mental box in the closet of my memory, things changed. I found out that he was going to propose to her, got the most drunk I can in recent memory, started dreaming about him again – even though it was a different type of dream than the ones that had come before – and after that one dream, nothing.
I went to sleep every night thinking I would dream again, this most recent dream some indication of a shift that, perhaps, I was finally starting to let him go. After all, in the dream I had finally shifted from taking comfort and solace – all positive emotions and feelings from him. That night, for the first time, I said things I had been wanting to say for months. Instead of comfort and solace, there was anger, but truth – and relief. And, unlike all the months of dreams before, this time – this time he didn't seek to merely reaffirm the things the tiny voice in my head said when I was awake. This time, there were new things – hurtful things said… but, when it was said and done, strange at it had been, I feel that the experience had been a cathartic one. And, of course, the dreams have *finally* stopped.
The scientist in me, although I disdain all things Freudian – it is psychology after all – felt a curiosity. Could it really have been that easy? All I needed to was finally find an outlet for my anger, to let it go, say the things I needed to say to him, even if it was just in my dreams? It was such a liberating experience. If I had known it was that simple, I would have done it months ago.
But, as is so often the case, I still needed to know for certain. I was afraid, consciously, that if I believed myself to be in the process of finally letting him go – and moving on – but, I wasn't, when whatever happened to remind me of this fact occurred… well, I didn't want to have another day like I did the morning I woke up in my apartment that morning after with the stale smells of vomit and sadness and rage clinging to me like a second skin. I needed to make certain that the anger was really gone, seemingly exorcised in some alcoholic cathartic purging of my emotional turmoil.
So, as I said, an experiment was called for – one night a week, for six weeks, I did the same thing I had done that night. I went to the same bar, ordered the same drinks in the same exact pattern in the same quantities. I consumed them, walked to catch a cab, glanced in the windows of the Founding Fathers, saw nothing out of the ordinary, went home, and usually ended up very hung over the next day. It got to the point where Cam and the others started to seriously worry about me, but I promised... by the deadline, by St. Patrick's Day, I felt thought I would be able to confidently put the past and the past and not look back. I somehow managed to drag myself into the lab each Friday morning and each week progressed closer and closer to my self-imposed deadline. But, after all of my efforts to recreate the original conditions under which I had had that one final dream – and never had another one – I could only conclude that it was not a fluke that the dreams had stopped. Yes, I was finally ready. I was finally letting go. I had finally *let* go. And, I was happy. Very, very happy, as I had not been for a very long time.
A few days after this revelation, I was at the Anthropology Department conference room at American University congratulating Wendell Bray. He had finally finished his dissertation and had successfully defended it. No longer 'Mr. Bray', Dr. Bray's tenure at the Jeffersonian had come to an end two weeks earlier. He had accepted a position on the faculty at George Washington University and became very excited as we chatted about the new experiences he would be going through as a first-year professor in the fall.
I was a bit surprised after the defense, when Dr. Bray asked if he could walk me to my car. He said he needed to discuss something with me in private. With a nod, I allowed him to follow.
"Dr. Brennan, I just wanted to say how thankful I am, after all these years of help and guidance and effort that you put forth on my behalf," he began nervously, almost like it was a sing-song litany that he had spent time practicing.
Smiling, I gave him an open-handed pat on the shoulder. "Mr. Bray – err, forgive me. Old habits die hard," I said sheepishly. "Dr. Bray, you have been an outstanding student… one of my most brilliant, really. I'm proud of what you've accomplished, and no thanks are necessary on your part. But, you are quite welcome, nonetheless."
He returned my smile and stopped when we stood in front of my car. "Dr. Brennan?"
"Yes, Dr. Bray?"
"I… I know this not be the appropriate time or place… but I'm not sure when I have another chance to ask you, so – here goes," he began.
Curiosity piqued, I wasn't sure what he could possibly ask me at this point in time that would make him nervous….
"I , ahh… I have a personal favor to ask."
"Oh?"
"Yes, you see…."
Wendall asked me two questions that day. Both were interesting… and, after I considered them for a moment, I said 'yes' to both without a second thought.
Brennan sat on a chair in Angela's office, watching her best friend, sketch pad in hand, work on the tentative beginnings of a facial reconstruction. Casually, as Angela worked, Brennan said, "You know that Mr. Bray successfully defended his dissertation yesterday?"
Angela looked up and nodded. "He mentioned something about that, yeah." She paused, and smiled, and then said, "Our little man is all grown up, Bren. No more 'Mr. Bray'… gosh, I can't believe he's a doctor now. Dr. Wendall. Heh."
"After the dissertation defense, Mr. Bray - err. Dr. Bray, he asked if he could walk me to my car," Brennan relayed.
"Oh?"
"Yes," Brennan said. "He told me he wanted to discuss something of a personal nature with me."
Angela's eyes light up as she set the sketch pad down in her lap. "No, sweetie! He didn't, did he?"
"You mean ask me if I would be willing to meet with one of his friends who is an incoming graduate student at American who wishes for me to consider taking him on as a PhD student and intern here at the Jeffersonian? Dr. Bray was asking me to consider the meeting as a personal favor to him?" Brennan asked innocently.
Suddenly, Angela's mouth dropped and her body sighed. "Oh—well, no… that's not what I was thinking he asked." She picked up the pad again and asked absentmindedly. "What did you say?"
"I said, as a personal favor to Dr. Bray, I would be happy to do so," Brennan chatted.
Angela was sketching again as she said distractedly, "Oh, that's a nice thing for you to do, Bren."
"Dr. Bray then proceeded to ask me, now that our formal relationship as professor/mentor and student/intern has concluded, if I would be willing to go out to dinner with him," Brennan said.
Angela gasped again, this time the sketch pad did drop into her lap.
"Bren!"
A small smile played at the edge of Brennan's mouth. "Yes, Angela?"
"You didn't?"
"What?"
"Tell me you didn't tell that sweet boy no!"
Brennan bit her lip playfully as he said, "I know that you are now married to Hodgins, Angela, but seeing as how you and Dr. Bray did engage in an exclusive sexual relationship for some time, I believe it is appropriate that I inquire whether if I did say 'yes' to his request, if it would in any way bother you since you are my best friend.?
"No!" Angela said. "Wendall's a great guy… and you, well, if a great guy like Wendall can make a great girl like my best friend happy… then no. Hell no, I don't have any problem with it!" She leaned forward in her seat and said, "Please tell me you said 'yes'."
Brennan's smiled widened. "Well, in that case, since I don't want to disappoint you... yes, I did."
"You said 'yes'? Really?"
"Yes, I did," she said with a glint in her eyes.
Angela squealed and said, "Oh, this is so exciting. It's been so long since you've been on a date, sweetie."
Brennan nodded. "Yes… it has… and, I must admit that since our kiss on New Years' Eve, although I have been distracted by… other concerns and considerations, I do remember it fondly. As a matter a fact, he was a better kisser than I remembered when he said goodbye to me today after I accepted his invitation."
Gasping, Angela said, "No, you didn't!"
Her eyes brightening, Brennan nodded her head excitedly. "It was a most chaste kiss, very brief in duration – and in no way were any bodily fluids exchanged… but it felt really, really good, Ange. He's… he's very handsome, and nice… and the way he looked at me when I said 'yes' to dinner… I-I… well, it's been a very long time since someone's looked at me like that."
Angela smiled. "You're going to have so much fun. When are you two going?"
"Friday night. And it's just dinner, but," Brennan said. She stopped and then said, "There is one thing that I'm worried about though, Ange—"
For a moment, Angela was worried about what Brennan was going to say – or *who* she might bring up… but, she was pleasantly surprised when Brennan continued.
"—well, he's just so… *young*, Ange… and I'm so much older than him." She paused and then said, "You don't think the age difference between us is too great, do you?"
At this, Angela chuckled as she shook her head. "Bren, think of it this way… I'm not that much younger than you… and if Wendall was good enough for me to engage in an 'exclusive' sexual relationship, I think you know what my answer is going to be to that question."
Brennan smiled again. She then looked away, but said softly, "You know, Ange… maybe if I'm lucky… this might be the start of something more than just an exclusive sexual relationship. Maybe it could be the start of something… more… I don't know… romantic?"
Angela felt her heart want to burst in hopeful pride for her friend as she reached over and hugged her friend. "If you're very lucky, sweetie, maybe it just might be."
Friday night came, and Brennan, despite the best efforts of Angela to get her to 'go all out' decided not to overdo her preparations for what was just 'dinner'. She did, however, take the time carefully select a dress and shoes that did not scream 'Dr. Brennan' and did her hair and makeup to match.
They agreed to meet at a new Chinese restaurant that both had been wanting to try, and Wendall looked pleasantly dazed when he saw her get out of the car. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek – and a single red rose. Brennan smiled, and she let him put his hand on the small of her back as he guided them into the restaurant. The conversation was easy and comfortable, and Brennan was having fun for the first time in as long as she could recently remember.
At the end of the night, Brennan didn't make a big deal when Wendall insisted he pick up the check, and she also reluctantly complied with his request that she read her fortune cookie fortune to him before they were about to leave.
"Okay, but if you add 'in bed' at the end of it like Angela always does, I'm leaving you right here," she said with a warning tone in her voice.
Wendall smiled innocently. "I promise, I won't."
"Okay… it says – 'men see the world one way, women another, and rarely can they ever be rectified'," Brennan said.
At this, Wendall started to snicker, but he looked down and didn't say anything.
Brennan began to laugh too as she said, "Go ahead."
"No."
"You know you want to… one like that… it's just begging for it," Brennan laughed.
"In bed?" Wendall looked up and sniggered.
Brennan's smile widened as she nodded. She then pointed and said, "Your turn."
"Okay," he said as he reached for the cookie. He took it and read, "Mine says 'Never forget that, no matter how hard the King's Men tried, Humpty Dumpty was never the same again after he was cracked the first time.'" Wendall frowned at that, and said, "Hmmm, well that one kind of sucks, doesn't it?"
However, as Brennan heard the words, she felt a knot form in her throat that she hastily pushed away as she forced a smile back on her face.
Looking up, Wendall nodded, "You, you ready? I… I thought… maybe we might take a walk? Get an ice cream cone or something?"
Standing, Brennan accepted his hand, and she nodded. "I'd like that."
-TBC-