He Shouldn't Have Done That

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.

Summary: Brennan ends her partnership with Booth after she considers his confession to Hannah about her the ultimate betrayal. AU.

Chapter 7 – Seven Months After

I went home that night, and the wellspring emotions that swept over me was overwhelming. A single word kept ringing through my mind….

How?

How?

How? How could this be? How?

It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, and I couldn't come up with one good reason that might somehow explain this, aside from the fact that it had to be some type of mistake. There had to have been some type of contamination. There had to have some type of glitch in the link up between the Jeffersonian's computer servers and CODIS. There had to be *something* that logically and rationally explained why Booth's DNA shared a partial match to a female infant's skeleton that had been at the bottom of the Potomac River for years.

I thought back… thought back, and realized – realized for the first time in months that I hadn't thought of him as just *him*… I thought of *him* as 'Booth'. And, I didn't crack. I didn't shatter like I thought I might. I didn't even want to start crying. What I did know is that I felt confused. Despite everything that had ever happened between us, despite everything that we shared or didn't share – the one thing I would stake my life on is the fact that I knew… I *knew* he was not capable of this… he was a good man and not capable of such violence. Not against a child… not against someone of his blood. And, so I knew he would never, ever help another person commit such a heinous act. It just wasn't possible.

I left the lab early that day. Cam, as flabbergasted as I was, told me to go home when Angela brought her into the office, and she saw the same thing I had seen. After several minutes, she saw the look on my face, and nodded at me. She knew what I was thinking, that there was something wrong. Something *had* to explain this. So, until she could figure it out, given how rattled I looked, Cam told me to go home. There wasn't anything that I could do anyway. Cam wanted to take new samples, run new tests to confirm what the DNA-matching algorithms had told Angela about a genetic relationship between Booth and the remains. That was her area of expertise, not mine. And, all that… all *that* would take time in addition to the work Hodgins continued chipping away at as his efforts came at the problem from another angle. Surely, the particulates and water samples would tell him *something*, and… God, it just doesn't make *any* sense. My brain stopped working… and so I went home, more on a dazed type of autopilot than anything else.

When I got home - how he knew, I don't know - Wendall was waiting for me. He was waiting for me outside my apartment's door with a container of potato and leek soup, a loaf of crusty French bread, and a happy look of expectation as he waited to greet me. And, when I saw him, I pulled him to me, let me feel the warmth and solidness that was his strength, and for just a little while… just a *little* while, I decided that I could be vulnerable, let him help me – let him in and do what he wanted to do when I hadn't let other people in before….

And, that night… that night, after the soup and bread, that night, after a bottle of red wine that I had started to drink again at some point, I started to talk. I spoke of it vaguely at first, just hinting at my confusion… my disbelief over the case. He knew me well enough to prompt me when I stopped… but not push, no he didn't push too hard when I had only paused to gather my thoughts in how best next to speak. It was just enough… Wendall always knew when it was just enough, not too little, just the right amount with me. And, one thing led to another, and somehow in talking about the case, I said Booth's name for the first time to Wendall… and, finally… finally I knew was ready to tell someone.

I told him about the case. And, as I started talking about the case and why I was so rattled, I started talking about Booth. And, then, as I started talking about Booth, I finally told Wendall about the real reason I had severed the partnership - something I had never even more than vaguely alluded to with others... even Angela. After it happened, I just wanted it over and done and in the past. So, I didn't talk about it to anyone outside of my dreams... not until that day that I started talking to Wendall. I told him everything about that day in the office, and I told him everything that I felt and had gone through in the very lonely and dark months after it happened. Wendall, although he might have suspected from what he had seen during those months, and from what he knew of Booth and I, didn't understand at the time why the act had almost destroyed me before I finally started to talk. However, if this... thing between he and I was going to be given a chance - that was what I needed to do to see if I could be happy, right? - then he needed to be told. I had to explain. So, I talked, and then I told him everything. It was like a confession. Once I started talking, I couldn't stop talking until I had purged everything from my mind and my heart. I started with the very first case when Booth had walked into the lecture hall at American and interrupted my lecture and didn't stop until I spoke of the very last time I saw him through the window that night at the Founding Fathers. I told him everything, because that's what Hannah had told me couples did, right? I had to, I had to tell him… because… we *were* a couple… and I found… that was a lot more comforting, a lot more reassuring than I ever thought I would find the idea to be. So, I did.

I continued to talk, just talk… I don't know how much time went by. At the time, I didn't really even stop to think that maybe I shouldn't tell him things. Because, the connection with Booth that I had once felt... if it wasn't there anymore, if it wasn't important... why should I value it? Protect it? Keep it intact? During the course of my relationship with Booth, it had served its purpose. Now, now, it was gone. So, there was no reason not to talk. The bond of trust, what I had viewed as the most private, intimate, sacred thing in my life with Booth – the one thing that would have prevented me from so much as speaking his name to Wendall, once upon a time… I knew, then, and accepted the fact for what it was… that bond lay shattered and in pieces and scattered to the winds, never to be repaired, barring one of Booth's divine acts of intervention. However, since I didn't believe in God or miracles, I knew what was done was done. It was broken, beyond repair, and in telling Wendall, I didn't care that I was doing the exact same thing that he had done, and in so doing had prompted me to break our partnership. Yes, I violated the very trust I had been so angry at Booth for… but, I didn't care. It didn't matter to me. What mattered was that Wendall was here and wanted me and fought to be with me when Booth never had… and so, I told him everything... except for one thing. There was only one thing I kept for myself... kept from everyone. The baby. I left out the part about the baby. There was no need to bring *that* up, after all. She was gone, she was never coming back, she had left me, too, and there was no point in sharing *that* particular piece of information, particularly since Booth had never even known.

As I talked, the only time Wendall showed any type of response… the only time during the entire three hours that I spoke when he had a physical reaction that he didn't hold back about was the part when I got to the night of my own accidental death in Woodland. As I told him about how Booth had saved me… and the tear-soaked emotionally-wrenching confession I made on the way back, I saw him tense a bit. God, I still never should have gotten in the car with him that night… but, I did, and I told him, and he rejected me… and left me crying and shivering and alone on the steps of the Jeffersonian as the SUV pulled away, and he didn't look back. That was the only point in the entire ramble that I saw a response from Wendall. And, immediately, I knew it for what is was… and it was anger. His jaw tightened, his right fist clenched, and he had a flash of indignant fury brightly burn for a moment in his eyes. But, then it was gone, and I kept talking… and when I was done, I asked him if he had any questions.

He shook his head slowly, and said, "No, Tempe… I don't have any questions."

I nodded, brushing away the tears that had fallen, and smiled weakly. "Thank you."

Wendall smiled himself, confusion evident on his face. "For what?"

"For being here," I said automatically. "For just being here, and being you, and listening…."

Wendall smiled at this and reached over and brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes as he said, "Of course. There's no place I'd rather be."

I chuckled. "I'm sure that's not true."

"Of course, it is… the woman I love is in pain… where else do you think that I'd rather be?" he said.

It took a moment, I think, for him to realize what he had said. And, as soon as he did, Wendall looked away. He was quiet for a minute and then said softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to just slip out like that…but, I… I'm not taking it back. I, ah, I've been wanting to say it to you for a while, and—"

"You love me?" I asked, incredulously.

He looked up, and nodded. "Yeah, Tempe, I do. I have for a while now. I know that you probably don't feel the same way about me, and that's okay, I know… I knew even before you told me about all this… this bullshit with Agent Booth… and, I… I didn't say it to and expect you to say it back. I just wanted you to know… and—"

"*You* love *me*?" I asked again.

Slowly, he smiled and said, "Yeah. I mean… you're so easy to love, once you've stopped hiding yourself, so why wouldn't I?"

"I-I-I... that's not a good idea, Wendall," I replied softly.

"Why?" he smiled at me.

"Because... because... everyone who's ever told me that they loved me... or told me that they *thought* they loved me at the time... they always leave me. Things, well... they never end well," I said.

"Tempe?"

Looking up at him, I tilted my head as I replied, "Yes?"

"Do you want me to leave you?" he asked softly.

I felt my throat tighten as I shook my head. "No... No, I don't. God, no. I want... I want you to stay."

He smiled again, reaching out to caress my cheek. "Then I will," he said. "I'll stay. I won't go away... I won't leave you. I promise."

At those words, I cried out a little, and, at first I think he was scared he had hurt me someway, said the wrong thing. I.. it took me a minute, but I eventually gathered my shocked thoughts about me enough to reach out and to show him how wrong he was. He hadn't hurt me… in fact, for the first time, I felt as if he had helped heal me. This part of me that was still raw and wounded and—the part I had been trying to piece back together myself. It was still cracked and not the same as it had been before the break, but, it was whole and still beautiful to someone. And, yes, I couldn't say to him what he had already said to me... I couldn't tell him that I loved him and not have it be a lie, not at that point in time. But, as Wendall said, we had time, and... I had told him the truth about everything. I could give him that much, at least. I could let him in, and I could tell him as a sign of my feelings for him. And, in that action, I was content for the moment. So, later that night when he was holding me in his arms after we had made love, I breathed the first truly easy breath I had breathed all day… and that night, despite all that had happened, the last person on my mind was Booth. For once, I didn't think of him at all… and that was okay.

Two weeks had passed, two weeks that were some of the most frustrating and confusing of my life because of that damn case. When Cam had insisted that the DNA tests be rerun… and, this time in their entirety since Angela had never completed the scan when she paused it after Booth's profile came up as a partial match, and she spent the next two days pouring over the results. When Cam was done, at last, she was able to tell Sully - all of us, really - what he wanted to hear… to a certain extent. Yes, there was a DNA match between Booth and the remains. They *were* genetically related. But, there was no genetic link that proved in way he could be the father. Cam's finding's were confirmed when, several hours after Booth's profile had registered a hit, so did Jared's.

And, so, with a sigh of relief, Sully was able to sit down with me, and we talked about how best to proceed with the case. I was nervous because the case involved Booth, and I didn't want to have anything to do with it as that might bring me into contact with him again. I hadn't seen him since that night at the end of January through the open door of the Founding Fathers four months ago… and I didn't want to…not because I was scared or afraid or even confused about it. It's just that I had started to move on, and he was the past, and the past had no place in my life right now. I was happy now… I had Wendall. And, he wanted me… he *loved* me, and I really didn't need or want to be reminded of the pain I had gone through because of Booth.

So, reluctantly… reluctantly, Sully didn't fight me when I told him I didn't want to be there for the interview with Booth. If he needed me when he interviewed Jared, that was fine. Somehow I doubted that my presence would be necessary, however, given the fact that Booth would probably conduct his own interview with Jared once he heard the news. Unfortunately, despite the entire team's best efforts over the next two weeks, we didn't make much progress on the case. Booth and Jared - and Hank ,as well, once Booth had spoken with his brother and realized that neither one of the knew what in the hell was going on - brought Sully to talk to Hank in the hopes of constructing alternative explanations that might clear up the mystery of how the genetic link between the remains and the Booth family came to exist in the first place. After further testing ruled out Booth and Jared as potential fathers for the infant, only one person remained ho could possibly be connected, genetically, to Booth, Jared, and the remains, and thus bear responsibility for it… Booth's father. I didn't relish the idea of having any discussion with Booth about *that* topic… even if we had still been on good terms. I knew what a private and painful topic is what for Booth to speak of... and he *never* talked about it. So, Sully did the best he could… but, it was slow going and not much progress was made.

And, then, one day, as is so often the case… something broke for us. A hospital from Delaware had managed to finally Fed-Ex a paper copy of a record Angela had requested in a 'Hail Mary Pass', according to Sully. It was one of a number of leads we had tried to track down once Hank recalled that Booth's father had once been treated there for surgery to remove his appendix after he left Booth and Jared in Hank's care. The idea was if we could get a some type of lead on his father's medical records, although we weren't foolish enough to think of how to track down Joseph Booth's DNA, we could at least start to confirm or rule out that he was indeed the father of the female infant whose remains were still in the Jeffersonian's bone storage. The hospital, however, had not digitized records that far back. As a matter a fact, while they promised to check their records storage, they couldn't even promise that records that old hadn't been destroyed a long time ago. But, as Sully had said, it was worth a shot... and, so, a 'Hail Mary Pass' was made. And, although we didn't realize it at first, the pass had been euphemistically caught. We just didn't know it immediately.

It turns out that the records the hospital finally sent us weren't the actual ones that Angela had requested. No, what we received was not the chart of one Joseph John Booth, hospitalized in 1979 for appendicitis. Instead, it was the chart of one Sarah Mary Jackson Booth… who had been admitted in August 1978… for the delivery and birth of a baby, simply referred to in the records as 'Baby Girl Booth'. The chart indicated that one Joseph John Booth was listed as the father, hence the reason the hospital had sent them to the Jeffersonian. I normally don't believe in providence, but in this one particular case, it seemed as if luck was on our side. Now, we finally had a lead… and, Sully… Sully knew that he couldn't leave me out of this one. And, so, reluctantly, I agreed to meet him at the Hoover in one conference rooms – and, for the first time in months, it was there that I finally saw Booth again.

Brennan remained mostly quiet throughout the interview. Sully did most of the talking, and Brennan spent the majority of the interview looking down at her hands. She only responded when Sully knew he needed her to answer pertinent forensic questions. For the most part, Booth sat and remained quiet as well… merely listening.

At some point, another FBI agent stuck his head into the conference room and pleaded with Sully to come with him for a moment about an urgent development in an unrelated case. Sully shot a look at Brennan. He saw panic in her eyes, but she saw the pleading in his, and knew it was important, so with an imperceptible nod, she gave her permission. Bolting out of his seat, Sully followed the agent, leaving the pair alone for the first time since she had broken their partnership on that horrible, horrible day.

The silence weighed between the pair before Booth was the first to speak.

"How are you, Dr. Brennan?"

The question was a simple one. Brennan slowly raised her head, and she saw Booth staring at her intently. She felt a stab of *something* when she realized that he hadn't called her 'Bones'… nobody called her that anymore.

Forcing a nod, she said formally, "I am doing quite well, thank you."

"You look great."

She nodded again, and said, "Thank you." Pausing, Brennan looked at him and said, "Given the recent emotional trauma the news about your parents and the… the discovery of the remains of your sister must have inflicted on your psyche, you seem to be coping adequately."

His eyebrow arched as Booth said, "I am… I guess." Pausing, he added, "Hodgins told me he doesn't think she was down there that long... maybe only a year or two? Before that, she was buried... he thinks probably somewhere in the Chesapeake region, but he's still trying to narrow it down."

"I'm sure his efforts will ascertain a more specific location once he's completed his analysis," Brennan said formally.

"Yes, I'm sure he will. He's good at that kinda stuff, you know... you all are. Squint stuff-" Booth was quiet again for a moment before he looked up at her and said, "So… I-I... I heard… you're… you're with Wendall, now?"

Brennan's head snapped up at the question. She was surprised by such a straightforward question… especially from him. Nodding, she decided simplicity was the best approach. "Yes, I am."

"And… ahh, you're… you're happy? Things are… he's… ummm, he's what you want?" Booth asked.

Brennan bit her lip before she nodded slowly and said, "Yes… he is. I… more than I ever imagined he would be."

She thought, for a moment, when she looked up, she saw a flash of pain in his eyes. But, it was gone so quickly, she decided she had imagined it.

Booth was nodding at her and said, "That's great, Bones. I mean, Wendall? I, ah, never would have thought- but... I'm very happy for you… you… you deserve to be happy."

And, there it was… the name. She closed her eyes for a moment, but said softly. "Thank you… I am." Looking up, she bit her lip as she said, "I'm sorry… about Hannah."

Again, this statement was surprising, but this time it was Booth who grappled for words. He looked away before he nodded and said, "Yeah, well… thanks." He paused before he added, "Things just didn't work out between us."

"That must have been very painful for you," Brennan said quietly.

Looking at her, he nodded, "It was."

"I'm sorry for that," she said.

"And… I'm sorry," he said.

At this, Brennan shook her head in confusion. "For what?"

"For… everything, Bones… for everything that happened between us… mixed signals… missed chances… everything," he said in a tone that was barely more than a whisper.

Biting her lip, Brennan felt as if she had been punched in the stomach.

"I-I…" she felt a sudden wave of panic that she hadn't felt in months suddenly wash over her. "Excuse me, I have to go."

Standing, she was almost out the door, when his voice called her.

"Bones—"

She stopped, not because she wanted to, but because her legs wouldn't respond to the command to proceed forward. Booth took her silence to be a sign to proceed with what he was going to say.

"I, ah… I just wanted you to know that… I know that you're with someone now… and I'm not saying what I said for any other reason than because it was something that was the right thing to do, and I've been wanting to do it for a while now, but... I... regret how things turned out, you know? And, I just thought you should know that... and that I really did mean it when I said that I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy."

The earlier punch to the gut that she had felt, now turned into what felt like several hundred pounds of bricks pressing down on her chest as she said, "Thank you."

"Is it serious?" he asked.

Brennan stopped, and then turned to him, unsure at first how to answer the question. But, then she nodded firmly. "Yes... yes, I think it is."

There is was. She had said it. She had admitted it to herself... for the very first time… even if it was a vague reference to the verbalization of how she felt. She had said it... and it wasn't to Wendall. It was to Booth. The realization shook her on several fronts, and Brennan felt panic and fear and anger start to course through her system… and, suddenly, she couldn't stand it anymore. She simply felt too overwhelmed to do anything more than walk away from him again… and, again, he let her go.

-TBC-