"Good, now push against my hands."
Jade gritted her teeth and tried to extend her legs against the gentle pressure of Chakwas' hands against her shins.
"Very good, you can relax now." The doctor made some notes on her omni-tool then shut it down. "You've made very good progress in the last week. Your right leg is still showing signs of those three major fractures, but they're almost fully healed. I think we can finally let you out of that bed."
She touched Jade's knee as the operative let out a small whoop and moved to leap off the table. "Slow down! You can stand on your own, but I don't want you moving around unsupported quite yet. I want you to use this for the next day or so. That should be all the longer it will take for those bones to finish mending. You will be cleared to return to duty after that."
Jade looked at the cane in Chakwas' hands. I wonder if I can just spend the next two days in my quarters. She sighed and rubbed her eyes as she stood up and tested its height.
"Vega will never let me live this down."
She slowly made her way through the ship, careful not to overwork her bad leg. I may not be cleared for combat ops but that's no reason for me to be unproductive. Won't Specialist Smith be surprised! She nodded to Campbell and Westmoreland as she waited for the scanner to finish its cycle and the private to hand her cane back. Besides, if I spend all day holed up in the War Room doing paperwork with Smith, I'm less likely to run across …
The door swished open and Jade, distracted by trying to juggle her cane and several datapads, was still looking down at her hands when she was unexpectedly brought up short. She stared at the grey Alliance insignia against a lighter grey background that filled her vision.
"Balls."
"Careful there, Gran." He caught her arm in one massive paw as she wobbled, balance compromised by the impact.
"Thank you Mr. Vega." Jade struggled to hide her cane against her bad leg, hoping against hope that he wouldn't notice it.
"Didn't know the Dragon Lady released you. Damn, say what you want about Cerberus as a whole, they sure as hell know their medical tech. I saw your legs when they brought you in. I thought for sure you'd be out of commission for months, not weeks."
Jade chuckled and shrugged as she eased around his bulky frame where it blocked the doorway. "Won't be cleared for combat for a few days yet. You've got some time to work on your kill count before I get back in the saddle."
He gave her wry grin, rolled his eyes and turned to enter the security point proper. Jade sighed in relief.
"Only way you'll win, Gran," he called over his shoulder as the door swished shut, "is if you beat them to death with that cane."
Jade shook her head. Should have known better.
She pulled up short again when she entered the War Room. The tall, black robot that had wandered through the medbay was towering over a console by the door. It tilted its head and regarded her with a single, shining light she assumed was its eye.
"You are a new addition to Shepard-Commander's crew." Its heavily modulated voice seemed confused. "We have no data on you."
"Probably because we haven't been introduced?" Jade ventured, trying very hard not to let the massive machine intimidate her. EDI's mobile platform gave her the heebie-jeebies because of how closely it skirted the Uncanny Valley. The machine in front of her frightened her for entirely different reasons. It towered, loomed over nearly everyone on the ship, giving even Garrus a run for his money. The sleek, black carapace seemed built for intimidation, swooping at alien angles that sent shivers down her spine and, oddly, made her think of the combine accidents she'd been witness to as a young girl visiting extended family on the farms of Middle America. Even the gaping hole in the center of its body did nothing to alleviate the sense that this machine could, and had, killed at will.
"EDI has allowed me limited access to crew records. You are Jade Harmon. Shepard-Commander rescued you from the Cerberus controlled Lazarus Station after EDI intercepted an uncoded broadcast from the station under Operative Lawson's ID. As the station had been reported destroyed, it was logical to investigate."
Jade had never known what prompted Shepard to stop by the derelict station. She tucked the information away for future examination.
"Sounds like you actually know a lot about me."
"There is no record of you before six Alliance-standard months ago."
"Legion! Stop badgering the poor woman." A being completely hidden in an environmental suit walked up and pushed lightly at the much larger machine. "Shepard trusts her and that's good enough for me."
"Of course, Creator Tali'Zorah." It turned back to the console.
"You have to forgive Legion. The geth don't really have a concept of social acceptability. I'm Tali'Zorah vas Normandy." The tiny alien held out a slender hand, Jade stuck her datapads under her arm to shake it reflexively.
"Jade Harmon, formerly of Typhon Command, Earth."
Two and a half hours later, Jade sat on a crate in the shuttle bay cleaning and performing simple maintenance on the Normandy's arsenal. Garrus stood at a nearby weapons bench fiddling with the scope from his rifle.
"You know," she said casually. "They should put that quarian Shep's got in the War Room in charge of interrogations. I talked to her today and she was like a terrier on a rat with any little crumb of information."
"Tali?" He chuckled and began to reattach the scope. "Yeah, she's like that. You should have seen her after the Omega-4 Relay. Shepard and I were trying to keep our relationship quiet. Didn't want to disrupt the crew, you know? But Tali kept badgering us, separately mind you, to tell her what the hell it was that had us smiling all the damn time. She's brilliant with code, but a little slow with interpersonal skills."
"I hear you're not too hot there either, Scars. Scuttlebutt says you went to Mordin for courtship tips." Vega emerged from his cubby, unable to resist taking a friendly jab at the tall turian.
"I wouldn't say that. It was more like he swept into the main battery chattering at a hundred clicks a second about wine choices and 'mood music,' jammed a datapad into my hands then bustled out again still talking. I couldn't get a word in edgewise."
"Uh huh, sure, blame it all on the conveniently dead salarian." Javik exited the elevator with his own weapon and kit at that moment. "Hey, Buggy! How did you let a lady prothean know you were into her in your cycle?"
Javik leveled a sulfurous glare at the Marine. "I do not see the relevance of this query." He sat his case on Garrus' abandoned weapons bench and set out his tools.
"Aw, c'mon, don't tell me you were too busy fighting Reapers to get busy."
"We were not."
"Then how did you, you know, get it on? Low lights, Barry White?"
"Jesus, Vega! People still listen to Barry White? I'd have thought that stuff would have finally died the death it deserved by now." Jade cocked an eyebrow in disbelief.
"You kidding, Gran? Barry's the best if you're on the make. Makes you look like you're cultured." Jade snorted and went back to assembling the Avenger she was working on. "But we were talking about protheans. So, Javik, what tricks did you use when you were on the prowl."
"We presented our prospective partners with a meal." Jade threw the alien an odd look. He was rarely this forthcoming about his people, and never in public.
"I guess some things are univers-" Javik raised his voice to speak over Vega's response.
"Of various delicacies comprised mainly of select pieces of primitive beings. Human male genitalia was very popular."
He shot Jade a quick look that had her focusing very hard on the firing group in her hands so she wouldn't laugh out loud. To anyone else in the room the severe alien was being deadly serious. But, over the long months of their oddball friendship, Jade had learned some of the subtle tells that betrayed when he was exercising his acidic wit.
Vega spluttered in shock, but Javik wasn't finished with him yet.
"The preference was for large, meaty specimens, so you might have been a good candidate for harvest. Though," he looked Vega over thoughtfully, gaze lingering speculatively on the human's crotch. The large man clutched reflexively at his fly under the careful scrutiny. "Given the apparent disparity between overall physical size and the size of human genitalia in this cycle, perhaps you would have been safe from the hunting parties."
Vega flashed through a variety of colors as Javik spoke; from a blanched, ashy grey at the start to a brilliant red at the prothean's perusal of his body to a violent purple at the implication he wouldn't measure up. Jade bit down on her tongue and tried to think of the direst situation she'd ever been in to control her reaction. Vega was still sputtering ten minutes later when Shepard stalked from the elevator with Tali on her heels.
"Garrus, suit up. We're going planetside." She looked around the gathered crewmembers, a faint line developing between her eyebrows as she took in their various expressions. "The hell is wrong with you Vega?"
The man in question instantly sobered, drawing himself to attention in response to the snap in the commander's voice. "Nothing, Ma'am!"
"Good to hear it. Let's get moving people. Cortez, you've got ten minutes to get the shuttle prepped and ready to drop."
"Aye aye, Ma'am."