A/N Okay, so I was able to finish this chapter a lot earlier and get it posted. Thank you so much for all the hits, alerts, and favorites. Please let me know what you think so far by submitting a review!

Chapter 7 Sanctuary and Solitude

Wow. There's no other way to describe her but W-O-W!

When Edward first saw her she literally took his breath away. He had jumped up to help Esme without even noticing her standing there. The moment he saw her though it was like the world stopped spinning. For a split second it was just the two of them.

She was absolutely gorgeous, but obviously troubled, as shown by the way her hair had been chopped off. It looked as if she was giving the world the finger and something about her intrigued Edward and surprised him at the same time.

It intrigued him because he wanted to know her story; more than that, he wanted to get to know her. Looking at this amazing woman with the trouble brown eyes staring back at him Edward almost got lost in their depths. He had never felt an urge so badly to reach out and touch someone as he did in this instant with Bella. This is what surprised him. He hadn't found a woman attractive in this way in more than two years. The last time was when he was fifteen; the same night that his life went so completely wrong.

Edward mentally shook him self from thoughts of his past back into reality. He had been unknowingly watching Bella and when his vision focused again, he realized that she had caught him. Feeling the heat rush to his face, he quickly looked away. After everything that had happened to him, he couldn't allow himself to feel the attraction for her that he was feeling. It was the only way to keep from repeating the past. He had to find a way out of this barbeque, away from her. It was the only way to save her.

….

When Bella locked eyes with Edward, she felt so many different emotions exuding from him. She thought she felt attraction, need, longing, and perhaps even fear. She didn't know for sure, but the second she sensed it was the same second he turned away from her as if he was repulsed. Whereas before, her heart was beating frantically skipping a beat here or there, now it had dropped to her toes. She had no idea what to make of it. She had no idea what to make of him.

In her seventeen years of life, Bella had never met anyone who made her feel like Edward did. He peaked her interest, but it was more than that. She had never really noticed anyone of the opposite sex enough to be aware of him in a physical nature, but for some reason she couldn't keep her eyes from raking up and down his gorgeous body. She yearned to reach out and touch his unkempt hair, to lean in and inhale his scent, imagining just how heady it would be. She wanted so badly to allow her hands to explore every inch of his body while he explored every inch of hers.

Whoa! Where the hell did that thought come from. I just met the guy and he's didn't even speak a single word to me. Fuck, he won't even look at me since I caught him staring.

Bella mentally berated herself for showing any sort of interest, and forced her thoughts back to the barbeque to try to catch up on the conversations that were going on around the table.

Charlie and Carlisle were talking about going fishing next weekend if the good weather held out. Rose had her head on Emmett's shoulder, his arm around her waist as he whispered something into her ear making her blush a lovely shade of red while giggling almost uncontrollably. Alice and Jasper were simply staring into each other's eyes, but you could tell by the intensity of the gaze that they were holding their own unspoken conversation. Esme was sitting there, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere that had taken up residence, and smiling like she couldn't be happier than this moment.

Everyone was just about done eating and Esme got up to start clearing the table. Bella was about to rise as well to offer help when Edward practically jumped up from the table, nearly knocking over his glass of lemonade.

"Sorry Mom, but I need to get out of here for a while. May I please be excused?" He was clearly agitated over something, but as to what that was, Bella had no idea. Esme simply nodded her approval to him before returning her attention back to the table in front of her and the mess that awaited her.

As Edward stormed off toward the house, Bella felt like she needed to do something… anything to take her mind off the abrupt way Edward had left. It was almost like she was the reason he was itching to get out of there so quickly, but how could that be? Bella hadn't done anything or even said anything to him for that matter that would warrant such rude behavior. She was completely baffled, and grabbed the first thing she could see to grab then followed Esme back into the kitchen.

Esme began to protest when Bella offered her help again, but Bella simply held up her hand before saying, "Look Esme, I appreciate you inviting us over for dinner. You've worked so hard to put together a beautiful meal. Helping you clear the table and do the dishes is the absolute least I can do and I won't let you tell me no." What Bella didn't mention was that if Esme refused her help, Bella had no idea what she would do. Her body ached to go after Edward. She wanted to find him and ask him what was wrong. She wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him, pressing kisses all along his perfect check and neck before making her way to his mouth. She felt an ache in her body so deep that it felt like she would never be whole again unless she was with Edward and that thought terrified the hell out of her.

…..

After the barbeque, Charlie walked up to Bella.

"Hey sweetheart! Are you having fun?" Bella didn't know what to say exactly, so she just nodded.

"Good! I'm glad you decided to come with me. I have to ask you something though – and feel free to tell me know if you want to, I promise I won't get offended in the least. Carlisle was going to watch the afternoon game with the boys and asked if I wanted to stay. He said you could hang out with Rose and Alice if you wanted to. What do you say?"

The look on Charlie's face was so pathetically hopeful, that it was impossible for Bella to say no to him. "Sure Charlie, whatever you want to do. Maybe I'll talk to Esme some more or something."

Charlie seemed to sense something that Bella might not be telling him the truth so he added, "Honey, are you sure? We can leave right now if that's what you want to do. I want you to be happy and have fun. I'd hate to think of you sitting alone somewhere with no one to talk to and nothing to do." Bella's raised hand stopped Charlie's rant dead in its tracks.

"Charlie, go watch your game. I'm fine, I promise." Charlie looked at her intently for another minute or two before he smiled, hugged her, and then walked over to where Carlisle was standing. They exchanged a few words and then headed off toward the house.

…..

Edward was completely ashamed of himself. All of his life, he had always been the perfect gentleman. His parents had taught him the right way to act from the time he was able to walk and talk. He was so upset over the whole situation that he was on the path to his own personal sanctuary before he even realized it. When he stormed out to his car and took off down the road, he had no idea where he was going. Before he knew it, he was on the 101 heading northeast toward Port Townsend; to the one place he knew he would be able to fully process his thoughts.

He found this place by accident once a year and a half ago, shortly after he moved in with Esme and Carlisle. He had gotten so upset one day that he grabbed the keys to Esme's Volvo and had taken off, not sure of where he was going. He drove the hour to Port Angeles, but had been there so many times in the past, he knew there was nothing there that he wanted to see so he kept going. After about another hours, he came to Port Townsend. It was in that little town that he found his sanctuary: Point Wilson Lighthouse.

Point Wilson was the picture of peace. It was a beautiful white building with a reddish-brown roof and a tower that reached 51 feet in the air. After visiting on a whim, he found out that it was the tallest beacon on the Sound and was built in 1913 to replace an old wooden beacon built on the roof of the station keepers house. When you drove up to this place, you couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder; at least that's what Edward always felt every time he came here.

As he pulled up, he thought back to the first time he was here. He remembered a need he had to be away from everyone; he needed solitude and was drawn to this place to find it. He had tried to sneak in and climb the tower but was caught by the station keeper. Something about the desperation in Edward's face had the man second-guessing his threat to call the Sherriff and have Edward arrested for trespassing though. Instead, he took pity on him and allowed him to go up to the top of the tower for the solitude he so desperately sought, telling him to be careful and to let him know if he needed anything.

Edward remembered climbing the five flights of stairs, around and around, until he reached the top of the magnificent building only to find an even more spectacular view. His breath hitched in his throat and he stumbled back against the wall, where he sat on a bench and stared out at the endless sea.

It was there on that bench that Edward truly came to terms with everything he had done and everything that had happened in his life. It was there that he was finally able to feel the hope that he could be forgiven one day for every mistake he had made; for surely a world with such beauty had to have some sort of all knowing, all forgiving deity, didn't it? Point Wilson was the one place Edward could truly feel at peace in his mind, in his heart, and in his soul.

Anytime he needed to think about something or just get away from it all, he would find himself back here, knocking at the station keeper's door, looking for entry that he knew he'd be allowed. He had become friends with Sam very quickly and felt a kinship there. He knew today would be no different, Sam would answer the door, allow Edward up for how ever long he needed to think and clear his head, and then expect him to join him for a cup of coffee. That was their ritual every visit for the last year and a half.

…..

Bella was still so upset over the way everything happened with Edward, that by the time she and Esme finished cleaning up after lunch, she just needed time alone to think. She told Esme she needed some fresh air, and headed out the back door. She wasn't sure where she was going to go; she just knew she needed to go somewhere.

Thankful that she had worn her comfy jeans and tennis shoes, Bella decided to go for a hike in the woods behind the house. It would allow her to be alone and give her time to think. She didn't worry about anyone finding her because Charlie had said they lived on like 200 acres or something absurd like that. She knew she could probably get lost our here and no one would find her for days, but she didn't care; this was what she needed.

She must have been walking for an hour or two and had no idea how far she'd gone or in which direction. She didn't even care at this point. There was only one thought on her mind: Edward.

She didn't understand the thoughts that had been running rampant in her mind all afternoon, sitting across the table from him. She'd never been attracted to a man before, but the way her stomach twisted in knots at the very thought of him and the way her mind wanted her to reach out and rip his clothes off, she knew that somehow, this went beyond attraction. When she looked into his bottomless emerald green eyes, it's almost like he put her in a trance and was bewitched himself. She could see in his eyes the same fear that she held in her own. This was new to him too it seemed, but she was certain he felt it too.

Something about the situation deeply disturbed him though, because not five seconds after everyone was finished eating, he jumped up and took off… just like that. Bella had wanted to badly to take off after him, but she didn't even know him. It's not like she could go up to him and say, "I know I'm stalking you, but I feel connected to you in a way I've never felt connected to anyone and I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you so hard it'll make all your worries disappear." No, she definitely could do that, even though that's exactly what she wanted to do.

She was about to turn around and head back in what she thought was the general direction of the Cullen house when she saw a light ahead that wasn't muted by all the trees. Curious, she decided to check it out. What she saw when she stepped out of the shelter the trees had created knocked the air out of her. It was the most beautiful place she had ever seen in her life and it seemed to be there just for her; just so she'd have a place to think by herself. It was a beautiful meadow, covered in tall grass and every color imaginable of wild flowers. She suddenly felt the need to put her hand on her heart to make sure she hadn't died. Surely this was a dream, wasn't it?

She slowly entered the meadow even as she was still taking it all in. Deciding on the center of the open wonderland, she sank to the ground, lay on her back, and stared up at the endless blue sky in amazement. All of the anxiety, all of the fear, and all of her confusion left her body when that first breath had left her. Bella felt at peace here for the first time in a long time. Laying there staring at the sky, she felt this was as good a time as any for some self-reflection.