A/N Ok, so yes, the last chapter was a bit of a cliffhanger. I know if I were reading instead of writing, I wouldn't be able to stand waiting any longer than necessary for the next chapter. I'd probably be checking my email for alerts every five minutes. LOL I've decided to not make you wait any longer, so here's the next chapter; it's the longest one yet! This will be three chapters posted today so I hope you appreciate it! Please review and let me know what you think!

Chapter 9 Confession

Charlie was panicked and hurried home as fast as he could after receiving Angela Webber's phone call. He didn't know what to make of it, but the conversation kept replaying over and over again in his head.

"Chief Swan, this is Angela Webber. There was an incident at school just a few minutes ago, which I'm sure you'll hear about soon. Anyway, I took Bella home so she didn't have to walk in this rain. I know I should have called you first, but she was out the door so fast I didn't know what else to do."

Charlie could hear Angela sobbing into the phone and needed to get her to calm down and explain what happened. "Angela honey, thank you so much for giving Bella a ride home. I'm not upset with you in the least for her actions. Can you explain to me exactly what happened at school that set her off? I need to know what I'll be walking into when I get home tonight."

"Chief Swan, you don't understand. I wasn't finished telling you everything. When I dropped Bella off, the look on her face scared me. She looked like she was thinking of doing something and I'm worried about her. I'm sorry; I know I don't know her at all. In fact, today was the first day I even talked to her, but Lauren Mallory did some really mean things and I think it may have really pushed Bella over the edge. She wasn't crying, she just had this look of fierce determination on her face and now I'm absolutely terrified that she's going to hurt herself. You can't wait until tonight to go home. You need to go now and you should probably hurry!"

Phone call and work forgotten, Charlie grabbed his cell phone, dialing Carlisle, as he ran out to the cruiser. It didn't even register with him that it was raining cats and dogs. At this point, the only thing that mattered was Bella. He didn't want to believe that Angela might be right, but somewhere deep down in his gut he knew she was. He knew he had to get home before it was too late and that he would probably need Carlisle there to help him with whatever he walked into.

"Carlisle, thank god you answered. I need you to meet me at my place right now but I don't have time to explain. It's a matter of life and death! Please hurry!" Without any further information, Charlie hung up the phone, put the cruiser into drive, and sped home to find Bella. He knew Carlisle would come without asking any questions. They had been friends so long now he just knew.

Charlie pulled up to the house and threw the cruiser into park before it had even fully stopped, causing it to bounce back and forth like crazy. He jumped out and ran in the house leaving the keys in the ignition and the door open. It had been almost 20 minutes since Angela had called and Charlie couldn't help but feel panicked. What if he was too late? He couldn't bear the thought of losing Bella again, especially so soon after getting her back.

"Bella! Bella where are you? Bella?" He screamed for her at the top of his lungs but there was no answer. He ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time, nearly knocking her door down from his speed alone. "Bella! Bella open your door now!" Without waiting for an answer, Charlie reached for the doorknob to open it himself only to find it locked. "God dammit Bella! Open this door right this second or I will break it down!" Again, he only waited a fraction of a second before taking a step backward for leverage and then slamming his shoulder as hard as he could into the door. The door splintered easily under the pressure and flew open with a loud bang.

Charlie saw her immediately and almost fell to his knees. She was lying on her bed and looked as if she was sleeping. Charlie knew better though and a quick glance around the room proved him right. There on her desk, was the prescription bottle what was in his nightstand. It was empty, sitting next to an empty glass and a note.

Charlie didn't even take the time to read the note. He ran straight to Bella and started shaking her, trying to wake her up. "Bella baby, I need you to wake up for me. Please Bella!" Charlie was sobbing and still shaking Bella when Carlisle arrived. He could tell by Charlie's phone call that something was seriously wrong, so he had the sense of mind to call for an ambulance to follow him as he left the hospital.

"Charlie, what happened? Guys, get up here quick and bring a gurney!" Carlisle was always good at handling emergency situations. He walked swiftly to Charlie's side, pulling him back from Bella. He reached for her wrist to check her pulse, breathing a sigh of relief when he found one. It was faint, but it was definitely there.

Carlisle adjusted Bella's position so she was lying on her side and then turned to Charlie. "I need you to talk to me Charlie. I know it's hard, but you've been through emergency training, you know how much every second helps. What happened?" He remained calm, but pressed Charlie for answers while keeping his fingers pressed to Bella's wrist, maintaining his check on her pulse.

Charlie knew he was right, so he took a deep breath and explained as best he could what had happened. He told Carlisle all about the phone call from Angela; he told him about the empty bottle of pills and what he assumed was a suicide note. The only thing he wasn't sure of yet was what set her off. Angela had mentioned that something happened between Bella and Lauren Mallory, he just didn't know what. It must have been horrible to cause Bella to try to take her own life.

He was still terrified of what was going to happen to her, but he was starting to get really angry too. If Bella didn't need him right now, he would have driven straight to the school and pulled Lauren right out of class to demand answers. He'd never liked the spoiled little rich bitch.

Charlie was finally able to clear his head enough to reach for the note. By this time, the EMTs were getting ready to lift Bella onto a stretcher. Carlisle said something about taking Bella to the hospital and needing to pump her stomach, but the only thing Charlie could focus on right now was the note Bella had written. The first time he read it, he felt his knees buckle as he fell to his knees. Carlisle was there in an instant asking his what happened. Charlie couldn't form the words to tell him, so instead, he handed him the note. Even if it weren't right in front of him anymore, the words would be permanently engrained in his mind.

Charlie,

I'm so sorry about everything. I know I've hurt you deeply, even if you won't admit it. The fact that you even had these pills was proof of that. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I'm a plague and I need to be stopped before someone else gets hurt. Please forgive me for everything. Forgive me for not coming back to visit you all those years. Forgive me for ruining your life these last few months. I won't do it anymore. I can't. I'm going to see mom, somewhere I can't hurt anyone anymore. I'm sorry Charlie.

I love you,

Bella

Somehow, she took the fact that he even had the meds Esme prescribed to mean that she had hurt him by coming here. Yes, he had panicked that first morning after Bella had cut her hair, but he'd been fine since then. He hadn't even opened the damn bottle, let alone taken any of the medication. Now here it was, empty. If only Charlie hadn't filled the prescription. Esme would have understood.

The medics finally had Bella loaded in the back of the ambulance and wanted to know if Charlie was going to ride along or follow. They had her stabilized, but they needed to get her there soon so Carlisle would have what he needed to pump her stomach. Charlie went along with them, not wanting to get behind the wheel in his current state of distress. He was silent the whole way, just staring at Bella's pale face while tears washed down his own.

…..

Carlisle had never seen Charlie such a wreck. He was bad when Renee had left him sixteen years ago, but this was far worse. He finally had Bella back and now he was afraid he was going to lose her all over again; this time in the most permanent way possible. Carlisle was determined to keep that from happening. He sped ahead of the ambulance to the hospital to make sure things were ready when they got there. Suicide attempts didn't happen much in Forks, but Carlisle was confident he could handle it despite that fact. After all, he had saved Edward once. He could save Bella too.

After an hour, he came out to let Charlie know the good news. Bella's stomach had been successfully pumped and there would be no lasting effects from the drugs. He had never seen is friend so happy. It was at moments like this that Carlisle was so glad he chose medicine as his field of study and career path. It made it all worth it.

"Can I see her?" Charlie was a mess, but that's not why Carlisle had to say no. He hated doing it, but his friend new better. Still he had to explain.

"Charlie, you know the drill. Bella attempted suicide; I had to place her in the psych ward for a mandatory 72-hour observation period. You know I would let you see her if I could, but I can't. I'm sorry." Telling a father he couldn't see the child he almost lost was always hard no matter the situation. Telling his best friend felt almost impossible, but he held his own, even though it broke his heart doing so.

Charlie sighed and slumped his shoulders in defeat. He knew better than to ask to see her right away, but still he couldn't help it. He needed to see with his own eyes that she was okay. He trusted Carlisle, but he still couldn't accept it with tangible proof. He needed to hold Bella in his arms and tell her he loved her. He never wanted to let her go again. He had already lost her once and until he could see her and touch her and hold her, it would feel as if she were gone again.

…..

Carlisle knew that Charlie was dying to see Bella, but he followed hospital policy to the letter and kept him away. He did decide however, that he would sit in her room and wait for her to wake up so he could give Charlie a first hand account of how she was doing. She had downed his entire bottle of Ativan so he knew she could be out for a few more hours, but he pulled up a chair and sat down to wait it out anyway.

After about an hour and a half, Bella started to stir, so Carlisle sat up straighter and put his hand on hers. He waited until she opened her eyes before saying anything. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked up at him, confused.

"Whe… " Bella began to croak before Carlisle stopped her. They had to insert tubes down her throat and he knew it would be difficult for her to speak right away. He didn't want her overexerting herself.

"Shh, it's okay Bella, don't try to talk. I'm Dr. Cullen, Charlie's friend. We met at my house a few months ago. We had to pump your stomach to get all the pills out. In order to get there, we had to stick some tubes down your throat; it'll probably be pretty sore for a while. You gave us all quite a scare sweetheart. I know you probably don't want to talk to me about it since you hardly know me, but you should talk to someone. It'll take some time for your throat to feel better, but for now, here is a pad of paper and a pen. If you need something, I want you to write it down on here and then press the call button for the nurse. Esme will be here shortly to talk to you. Is that okay?"

Bella nodded, so Carlisle continued, "Sweetie, Charlie is worried sick about you. He found your note and he's beating himself up over it. He thinks you did what you did because of him. I know that's probably not true, but Honey, is there anything you want me to tell him?" Again Bella nodded and so Carlisle waited, watching as she scribbled out a note for him to give to his friend.

Charlie,

I am so sorry for everything. I know I can't apologize enough but I feel I need to try. I've been working really hard these last two months and trying to get over the guilt I feel towards mom's death. It's hard for me to explain, but I'm going to try.

I know no one blames me and that the accident wasn't my fault, but it's taken me this long to realize that it didn't matter what the choices I made that day were. If death had marked mom, it was going to take her in one form or another and there was nothing I could have done differently to stop that. It was just her time to go. I've been telling myself that day in and day out really striving to believe it and I finally started to. I finally started to understand that it really wasn't my fault.

Then today at school, Lauren Mallory did the unthinkable. I went to homeroom and there was a note on my desk. When I flipped it over I saw that it wasn't a note, it was an article about the accident back in Phoenix. I couldn't make myself read the words, but the pictures were enough. All the memories of the accident that I've tried so hard to forget came rushing back to me. I was just going to leave, to walk away, but then she spoke to me. She told me that they only reason I was here was to punish myself for killing mom and I snapped. I ended up punching her in the face and then walked out.

I kept telling myself that it wasn't true; I wasn't to blame for mom's death. I repeated it over and over again, but the only thing my mind would register was Lauren's words. All the way home all I heard was "You're trying to punish yourself for killing mommy dearest." I couldn't think any more. I couldn't breath. I'm lucky I was able to walk into the house. I was completely lost and didn't know what else there was to do. I missed mom so much and wanted her to hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. When I realized that she never could, I snapped. I found your bottles of anti-anxiety medication and saw then there was a solution that was right in front of my face the whole time; a solution that would lead me to mom.

I was so wrong Charlie. I didn't get to see mom; I didn't get to see anything. It was like I was being swallowed up by a black hole and it terrified me. It was then that I heard you crying somewhere close by. I wanted so badly to reach out and hold you, sort of how I wanted mom to hold me, but I couldn't open my eyes. I could find you even though that's all I wanted. Things are blurry after that but there was one thing that was clear to me. I haven't been fair to you since I came here. You've given me everything you can to help me be happy and I just kept pushing you away.

I am so sorry. If I could go back and change things I would, but I can't. I want you to know that I am so grateful for everything you've done for me. You were there for me when mom died and I hope you'll still continue to be there for me when I get out of here. I want you and need you in my life Charlie… Dad. I love you so much! Can you ever forgive me for what I've done?

Love always,

Bella

When she finished writing the letter, she tore it carefully from the notebook, folded it in half and handed it to Carlisle. She could tell by the look on he face that he understood it was personal and only for Charlie to see. He tucked the note into his front jacket pocket before saying goodbye with a promise that he would return soon to check on her.

With the weight that she had been harboring all these months lifted, Bella felt lighter. She laid back on her pillows and fell into a deep, dreamless, and much needed sleep.