A/N Thank you for everyone who continues to read my story! It really means a lot to me. Well, I'm sure you're all excited for the next chapter, so here it is. Enjoy and please review! :)

Chapter 10 - Apologies

When Bella woke up, she felt more rested than she had in a very long time and if she were being completely honest with herself, she felt good. She felt a smile turn up the corner of her lips, and when she realized that even this felt good and her face wouldn't crack, that little smile turned into a full on grin. For the first time since the accident, Bella felt good; she felt loved, she felt safe, and most importantly she felt hope. She felt that everything actually would turn out okay, just like everyone had been saying for the last 2 months.

She opened her eyes to the kind but obviously concerned face of Esme looking down at her. "Bella dear, you're awake! I was so worried about you! Can you tell me what happened?"

This was something Bella had expected. Esme was her therapist after all; plus, she seemed to genuinely care about her. Carlisle had told her that it might take some time for Bella to be able to talk with out being in pain, but she figured now was as good a time as any to try.

"Oh Esme! I was so stupid. I let Lauren get to me. I didn't think anyone here in Forks would ever find out about the accident, so I stupidly thought I could pretend it never happened, at least at school. Somehow she found out though and asked if that was the reason I came here. She asked me if I exiled myself here to hide from the fact that I killed my mom; said it was the only way I would have come here voluntarily." Bella took several deep breaths like Esme taught her in one of her sessions before continuing.

"I lost it. I couldn't let her disrespect my mom's memory like that so I punched her in the face… hard. I felt and heard her nose break and it actually made me want to smile. How awful am I? Anyway, after I hit her, I told her if she ever talked about my mom again I would do much worse. She looked scared but I was still so pissed off that I left. Angela Webber followed me and gave me a ride home. It's a good thing too, because a second after I got in and closed the door, it started raining like crazy. Angela told me to ignore Lauren and I tried but her words just kept repeating themselves over and over in my head until I believed them. I still believed what you told me too, but her words were stronger, more demanding and they took over. They made me crazy. When I got home I needed to find a way to make everything okay and I thought that killing myself would be that way. I found the pills you prescribed my dad and when I saw the date on them it was another blow that I wasn't prepared for. He filled them the day after he brought me home and I couldn't help but feel that I was the reason he needed them. I wrote him a note saying that I was sorry and goodbye, and then I downed them. I just wanted the pain to end. I never realized how much it would hurt the people I loved."

Bella was sobbing at this point, but she made the extra effort it took to continue with her story. "The worst part was that I could hear everything Esme. I could hear the panic in my dad's voice as he was talking to Carlisle. I could hear his tears and sobs; I could hear how lost he was and how he kept saying that he couldn't lose me again. He was begging Carlisle to save me; I could hear it all, but I was powerless to do anything about it. More than anything, I wanted to comfort my dad the way he comforted me when my mom died. I wanted to be there for him and to hold him and to tell him that I loved him, but I was paralyzed; stuck in my own mind. I couldn't open my eyes, or move my mouth, or even wiggle my fingers. It was entirely my fault too. I did it to myself by taking those stupid pills. Sure, at the time it seemed like the easy answer, but I realize now what it would have done to him. I don't think he would have survived this if the outcome had been different. For the first time in my life, I felt that my father, my dad, truly loved me and wanted me hear."

She looked up at Esme through her tear-streaked face and saw that she had a huge smile on her face. Because she must have had her confusion written all over hers, Esme stepped in to answer the unspoken question.

"Bella, there are so many people who love you here. Charlie is one of them. I love you and so does Carlisle. Angela Webber is the reason you're still here; she was concerned enough after she dropped you off to call your dad right away. That's what I've been trying to tell you for these last few months; that's what I've been trying to get you to see and understand. We love you Honey and we all want the very best for you. I've seen the difference you've made in Charlie's life since you've been here. Sweetie, he has his bounce back when he walks – a bounce I haven't seen in sixteen years – and he's always got a smile on his face. These were things you couldn't have noticed because you still had your blinders on from the accident, but there are so many people who are better or happier in some way because you're here.

"What you did was stupid; I'm not going to try to downplay it because truth be told you did try to kill yourself, but in doing so, you removed those blinders that I've been trying to weaken. You've done my job for me, which not many people are strong enough to do. I am so proud of you!"

Bella began to look hopeful again that things would finally work themselves out and be okay. She looked up at Esme and spoke her mind, "Esme, I know I'm supposed to be here for 72 hours for observation, but I really need to see Charlie. I told him everything I told you just not in the form of a note, but I know that I've hurt him and that he's going to need to see me himself before he's really okay again. Can you please allow for him to come see me?"

"Of course, My Dear. I had planned to do that all along; I just needed to hear from you what this event did to impact your progress. There's just one more thing. I know you're feeling great now and that it feels like you've recovered, but the road to recovery is a long one. It will take more time. There will be more tears, anger, and hurt. I want you to know that through everything, I will be there for you; I will always be there for you.

Now, I will give the go ahead for Charlie to come in to see you. He's been here in the hospital the entire time, refusing to leave until he can take you with him, so he shouldn't be too hard to find. There's just one more thing I want you do to. There's someone I want you to talk to who's been in a similar place to where you are right now. I want the two of you to sit down and talk about your stories with each other. I think it will truly help both of you to see how the other person is coping with this. Do you remember that meadow you told me about on our property Bella?"

Not sure where this was going, or who this person was that Esme was talking about, Bella nodded her head. "Yea, I remember. I don't know how easy it would be to find it again, but I definitely remember it."

"Good. That was a place where you truly felt at peace for the first time since the accident, is that right?" Bella nodded again for Esme to continue. "Okay, here's what I want you to do; you'll be released on Thursday afternoon as long as everything goes smoothly. Friday morning, I want you to come over to our place. I want you to go hiking again to your meadow and when you find it – which I have no doubt you will – I want you to wait there. I will have this person meet you so that you're in a place that's comfortable for you to talk. It's supposed to be beautiful on Friday and the sun is supposed to be out all day, so dress for slightly warmer weather, okay?" Esme's grin was back and the way her face lit up was beautiful.

Still slightly confused, Bella stopped her before she left the room. "Wait, Esme? I'm okay with going to the meadow and all if that's what you want, but aren't you going to tell me who it is that I'll be meeting so I'm prepared?"

With her grin turning a bit impish like she was hiding something, she just shook her head. "Nope. This ones a secret and I have a feeling you're going to like it. You're just going to have to trust me." With that, Esme left the room.

…..

Fifteen minutes later, there was a soft knock at her door. When she called for whomever it was to come in, the door swung in slowly. As if he wasn't sure what he'd see, her dad stood in the open doorway, just looking in at her.

Bella said the one word she wanted to say in front of him for so long now, "Dad."

With the awkward silence broken, Charlie rushed in the room and up to her bed, pulling her into a tight hug and just holding her there against his chest. He was whispering to her, but none of it really made sense. It didn't matter though to Bella. He was here and he was holding her like she'd longed to be held for months. She felt herself relax into him as she apologized again and again.

They sat together on her bed for at least an hour before either of them said anything intelligent. It was Bella who finally broke the silence.

"Dad, I know I can't say it enough, but I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but that's just what I ended up doing, isn't it? All I could think about what ending my own pain. I never realized how much you loved me until now so I didn't understand the pain it would bring you if I had been successful. I was selfish and I'm sorry. I'll understand if you want to send me to live somewhere else, but I'd really like a chance to make it up to you. I promise if you give me a chance I won't stop until I've made up for what I've done. I know I don't deserve it; I don't deserve you, but I do love you Dad. I love you so much!" Bella wondered if her tears would ever run dry. It seemed as she'd been crying non-stop since she walked out of school this morning.

Charlie sat there, still holding Bella's head against his shoulder and stroking her hair – which had grown out to just past her shoulders again. "Sweetheart, please stop apologizing. Everyone makes mistakes, some worse than others, but still. I love you too Bella. I've never stopped loving you and I never will. I wouldn't dream of sending you away just because of this. You're my daughter and I want nothing more that to have you in my life as long as I can. I was already robbed of sixteen years; I don't think I could stand another day with out you here. I want to work though this together honey. I want you to be able to talk to me. I want you to know that I will always be here for you; no matter what. You mean everything to me."

They sat together for what seemed like another few hours when a nurse finally came in and told Charlie it was time for him to leave. He hugged her tightly once more, kissed her on the top of her head and left, leaving Bella to feel the warmth of his love radiate throughout her body. She really was home; she was where she belonged. She was happy.

…..

The next few days went by really fast. Bella did everything she was asked to do; she went to her individual therapy sessions, her group sessions, her mental health evaluations, everything. After the mandatory 72-hour period, she was released into her father's care and she couldn't have been happier.

When they pulled up to the house, she was a little surprised because there were several cars parked out front and she didn't know what to make of it. She recognized Angela Webber's car from Tuesday afternoon, Dr. Cullen's car, and Esme's as well. There were also a few that she didn't recognize. She looked at her dad with a big question mark on her face but he just smiled at her, put his arm around her shoulder, and walked them towards the door.

When he opened the door, she was overwhelmed. There were about fifteen people there to welcome her home. The house was decorated with balloons and streamers and there was a big banner that said 'Welcome Home Bella! We Missed You'. She was passed from person to person as he was enveloped into several hugs. All the while, people she knew but didn't really know hugged her tightly and told her how glad they were that she was okay.

One of the last people she hugged was Angela Webber. She had learned from Esme, that it was Angela who alerted her dad about the situation on Tuesday morning. When she pulled Angela in to the hug, she held her extra tight and whispered a heartfelt thank you into her ear. She chuckled a little at Angela's obvious shock while still squeezing her tightly.

When she pulled back, she told looked Angela in the eye and told her the truth. "Angela, you were probably nervous as hell coming here today because you thought I'd be mad at you for calling my dad on Tuesday, yet you're still here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'll never be able to truly express to you my gratitude for saving my life, but that's just what you did by calling my dad. What I did was rash and I didn't think it though all the way. If it weren't for your quick thinking and good observation I wouldn't be around today. I'm so sorry to have put you in such an uncomfortable situation but I'm really glad you came today. Can we start over and try to be friends?" She smiled shyly waiting for Angela to answer and when the answer finally came, it was not at all what Bella expected.

"Oh Bella, of course we can start over! I'm so relieved that you're okay and I'm so touched that you want to be friends! I think you're an amazing person who has gone through a terrible ordeal, but you've managed to stay strong and pull through. I knew there was something different about you from the moment you moved to Forks. I didn't know what it was until a few days ago, but now that I know, I'm even more amazed. I would love to be your friend!" Angela pulled Bella into a bone-crushing hug and held her there as they sobbed on each other's shoulders. Bella felt a kinship to the girl and didn't want to let it go. She felt Angela my very well be the first real friend she'd ever had.