A/N I am amazed by the number of hits I've had today and decided to reward it the another chapter! Enjoy and please review! Thank you all so much!

Chapter 11 – The Meadow

Bella woke up for the fourth day in a row feeling completely refreshed. She was able to sleep now without the horrible nightmares of the accident plaguing her dreams. Because of that, she was able to return to the Bella she was before everything happened. She had missed almost all of school this week, but Angela – sweet girl that she is – promised Bella she would stop by this afternoon with her homework.

Bella had a lot of regrets because of what happened with the suicide attempt, but she was also very happy at some of the outcomes. For one, she and her dad had never been closer. She finally felt close enough to him to start thinking of him as her dad too. He wasn't just a sperm donor anymore.

One of the other things that she was truly grateful came out of the events was the fact that she now had someone she considered a friend. After the initial welcomes from everyone at her party last night, Bella and Angela found a quiet corner in the living and sat together. They ended up talking for hours about absolutely everything and nothing at the same time.

Pulling her thoughts back to the present, Bella decided it was time to shower and get ready to head over to the Cullen's house. She still wasn't comfortable with driving, and hadn't been behind the wheel of a car since the day of the accident, so her dad was going to drop her off on his way in to work.

When she was ready, she went downstairs and found that Charlie had made breakfast again. She asked if there was anything she could do to help, but he just insisted that she sit and enjoy the meal. Without another word, that's just what she did.

…..

Bella was nervous during the entire car ride to the Cullen's and she couldn't explain to herself why. She'd been there before and nothing bad happened; why was she so worried now? It didn't make any sense. The only thing she could think of was that she was nervous about meeting this mystery person Esme had. Whenever she thought about it, she would get inexplicable butterflies in her stomach.

When they pulled up to the house, Bella climbed out, waved good-bye, and trudged up the stairs to knock on the front door. Esme opened it a minute later and pulled Bella into a giant hug. "Good Morning Honey! Welcome back! Are you about ready to head out?"

Bella nodded and started heading toward the back door before Esme tapped her on the shoulder. "Here, you'll probably need this," she said as she handed Bella a small backpack. Then, to answer the obvious question mark look on Bella's face, she said, "It's just some snacks and a few water bottles. I figured you might be out there for a while and would probably want something. There's a blanket in there too to lay out if you wanted something to sit on." Bella smiled her thanks at Esme before walking out the back door, retracing the path she took a few months ago, hoping she would find the meadow again.

Just over an hour and a half later, Bella saw a lightening in the trees and knew she had made it to the meadow at last. She lengthened her strides to get there sooner and once she reached the break in the forest and stepped into the meadow, all the air in her body left in one fell swoop. Bella had missed this place, even if she didn't realize it until now. She walked deeper into the clearing before setting the backpack on the ground and opening it up to see what all was inside. She dug past the water bottles and bags of snack food and pulled out a blue blanket, which she then unfolded and laid out on the tall grass amongst the wild flowers. She looked around and decided that because she didn't know how long the other person would be, she was going to take advantage of the sun while it was making its rare appearance.

She rolled up her sleeves so they bore her shoulders and folded up her pant legs to her knees. When she thought she could soak up as much sun as was possible without actually taking her clothes off, she laid back on the blanket fanning her hair out above her head and closed her eyes. She didn't know how long she lay there basking in the sun before she was jolted back to reality by a sound of someone clearing his throat.

Nearly jumping out of her skin, she grabbed at her chest as if her heart was going to rip its way through. She glanced up but all she could see was a silhouette of a man standing above her because he was between her and the sun. When he noticed her squinting, he mumbled and apology and stepped to the side so she could see him more clearly. When the black spots in her vision cleared from staring into the sun, she was looking into beautiful emerald green eyes. If she thought her heart would beat out of her chest before, it was nothing compared to the feeling she was having now. Her words were stuck in her throat even though she wanted to badly to talk to this Adonis standing right in front of her. Finally, after clearing her throat and trying to mumble out the words three times, she was able to ask, "What are you doing here?"

He looked confused by her question, so it took him a few seconds to formulate a response. "Um… I don't really know anything, other than the fact that my mom sent me out here. She said I would know why when I got here. I wasn't ah expecting to run into any ah company though, I'm um… sorry I ah bothered you." She couldn't help but notice how nervous he sounded and it endeared her to him even more.

When he turned to start heading back towards home, Bella reached up to stop him, letting her fingers grab onto his for a brief instant. "Wait. Um… don't go please. I think your mom wanted me to talk to you, or, you know, you to talk to me, or whatever. She told me to come out here and meet someone but she didn't tell me who." Bella was having a hard time forming coherent thoughts let alone sentences because the instant she touched his hand she felt like she had been electrocuted. It was far from unpleasant though because the moment their hands no longer connected, she yearned for his touch once again.

He turned around and looked right at her. The look he had is his eyes – shock, wonder, fear, and what looked like hunger – told her he felt it too. Still unsure of what she was supposed to do or say, she eyed the blanket beside her and asked him if he wanted to sit down. He looked like he wanted to but seemed so unsure that Bella smiled up at with pleading with her eyes. She wanted to talk to him, to get to know him. She wanted to understand him and this feeling she was having. She was curious to find out what it was they had in common. She didn't know what it was, but something seemed to sway Edward's resolve and he finally gave in and sat down beside her.

…..

When he walked into the meadow, he couldn't help but wonder what Esme was up to. She had asked him yesterday that she was calling the school to get him excused from his classes today because she needed him to do her a favor. She didn't tell him what exactly it was, just that he was supposed to be in the meadow behind the house at ten o'clock.

At ten on the dot, he entered the clearing not knowing what he'd find, and stumbled to a halt. There she was, a goddess among men, lying on her back basking in the sun. He breath stuck in his lungs and he had to fight the urge to go to her and scoop her up and kiss those beautiful full lips. The last time he had seen her, she had been at their house for the end of summer barbeque. He had wanted her then and even though he hadn't seen her in two months – other than in passing in the halls at school – he still wanted her just as badly now.

He didn't know how long he stood there watching her, burning to touch her; to breath in her scent, but he finally decided that it was creepy to just stand there, so he cleared his throat conspicuously. When she finally opened her eyes and looked up at him, he was trying to breathe but couldn't seem to get enough oxygen. He could only see a hint of their milk chocolate color because she was squinting up at him. When he realized that she was trying not to look into the sun, he said he was sorry and moved a few steps to the side.

When she opened her eyes fully and looked up into his, his knees nearly buckled as if telling his subconscious that he needed to be down beside her; close to her. He maintained his hold on gravity while waiting for her to speak. When she finally asked him what he was doing out here, he didn't have an honest answer. He knew Esme was up to something when she sent him out to the meadow, but never in his wildest dreams (which lately involved nothing but this Beauty sitting here so vulnerable in front of him) would he have imagined she sent him out here to meet Bella.

He mumbled some nonsense of not being sure why, even though his mind was already running through the possibilities, and turned to go. When she grabbed his hand and asked him to stay, it felt like his entire body was going to explode. The current that ran from her body into his was impossible not to notice. It was like the universe wanted them connected and both were powerless against it.

He stood there torn, asking himself if he was ready to face this; was he ready to confess the truth of his life to Bella? Was he ready to face the rejection he felt certain he would? He turned around, meeting her eyes, and in them had his answer. He saw desire burning deep within them as if she needed him as much as he was certain he needed her. The longing in her eyes for him to sit beside her was what made his decision for him. If she wanted it, he would give it to her; of that he was certain.

…..

Once Edward sat down beside her, Bella relaxed again and sunk back down onto her back. She pulled her hands up to her neck, fanning her hair out again while Edward looked on silently. The hunger she saw in his eyes made her stomach do flips again and again. Placing her hands on her stomach to hopefully help settle it down, she rolled her head around to look at Edward and told him to make himself comfortable.

"This sun feels amazing, don't you think?" Bella was stretching out on the blanket, tugging her pant legs up even higher. "God I wish I would have thought to wear my swim suit so I could feel more of it. It's almost like being back in Phoenix." She was just rambling to herself now to fill the silence that had fallen over them. She had no idea if he was even listening to her or not until she felt something running through her hair. Startled, she looked up to see Edward's hand reached out as he tentatively touched her curls.

"You have beautiful hair," he whispered, still seemingly mesmerized by her tresses. "Did you know there's a gorgeous auburn color in it in the right sunlight?" He asked.

Not sure she could find the words to speak, Bella just nodded her head and let him continue touching her hair; wishing that he was touching more than that. She felt a deep blush running up her neck and into her cheeks at that last thought and she wanted to die. She also wanted to turn into his touch so that he could feel the heat for himself and again started blushing furiously at the thought.

…..

Sitting with Bella was amazing. She laid out again on the blanked once I sat down beside her and I couldn't help but notice the amazing color of her hair in the sun. It was beautiful beyond words; she was beautiful. Before he even realized what he was doing, he had involuntarily reached out and was stroking her hair, telling her of its beauty. Just after mentioning it to her, he noticed she was blushing; her neck and cheeks a beautiful rose color. Even the tips of her ears seemed to be glowing. It almost looked as if she were embarrassed, but what could this woman possibly have to be embarrassed about?

The red in her face seemed to deepen as she laid there silently, eyes closed, and he just couldn't help himself. He reached out with the back of his index finger and ran it across her heated cheek; using soft gentle strokes. He felt her lean into his hand and it seemed almost like an invitation for him to continue. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss her, but this time he pulled away completely instead, apologizing profusely for touching her without her permission.

He got up again to leave, but this time Bella grabbed his hand and twined her fingers through his. "Edward, please don't leave. Your mom obviously wants us to talk about something and I have a feeling it has a lot to do with what happened to me this week. Have you heard anything about why I haven't been in school since Tuesday morning?"

She was looking at him like she was afraid he had heard something terrible, but all he knew was that she had indeed been absent for three days. When he shook his no, she continued, "Edward, I've had a really hard time these last few months. My mom died in a car accident back in July and I was driving. That's why I'm here in Washington with my dad. The whole thing devastated me and I couldn't function for the life of me. I never wanted to be happy again because of what I did to her. That's part of the reason I chopped my hair off right before I met you. It reminded me of her too much; it reminded me of all the good times we had."

When Bella was telling him her story and about why she cut off her hair, he couldn't help but lift his hand to it again. He needed to feel its silkiness between his fingers. Her breath seemed to catch but she smiled at him before continuing.

"I've been seeing your mom twice a week and she's been helping me. I was making real progress until Tuesday when Lauren Mallory printed out pictures and a newspaper clipping of the accident and left it on my desk for me to see. When she said the crap about me exiling myself here as a form of punishment for killing my mom, it really struck a chord with me. I ended up going home and I ah… I took a bunch of anti-anxiety pills and tried to commit suicide." Bella finished all in a rush, afraid of Edward's reaction to her news.

She seemed surprised as he let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. "Bella, I know why my mom set up this meeting and what she wants us to talk about." Esme was trying to make this easier for both of them by giving them someone to talk to who could relate completely.

Bella looked confused so he continued on. "She wants us to talk about your attempt and this." There was no going back now, so Edward inhaled deeply, unbuttoned his shirt sleeves and rolled up the cuffs, offering his wrists to Bella. He knew she would make the right conclusion when she saw the scarring there and he knew she would understand.

"Bella, there's somewhere I want to take you but it's a two hour trip so I want to give you the choice. I've never taken anyone there before but I've also never felt a connection like this with anyone before. I want to tell you my story so you'll understand me better, but I can't do it here; I need to be in my special place to do it, Will you come with me Bella?"

…..

Bella nearly gasped in shock when Edward rolled up his shirtsleeves and she saw the scars. She understood he had tried to commit suicide at one time as well and it broke her heart. When he asked her if she would go with him to his special place, she didn't even hesitate. She knew deep down that she would go with this man anywhere he wanted to go.