Authors Note: For once in my life I'm not stalling! :D Another convo going on in Doof's head and then there's only one more real chapter left! Excited? I think I feel a squee coming on!
What…happened? And why does my chest hurt a little bit? Oh…a lot a bit…owwwwww.
Will you stop complaining?
Who is that?
It's me, you imbecile!
Oh. What are you doing here?
Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth? 'What am I doing here?' I've been living in your head ever since you were born!
No you weren't, I think I'd remember that.
Well you don't because you found out I existed the day you built the Amnesianator.
I built an Amnesianator?
Yes!
Oh, wait can I ask you a question?
I'd prefer it if you didn't.
What are you?
What am I?
Yeah.
What am I…I am the dark that is night. I am the dog that is wolf. I am the blood that is red. I am the miracle, the snake of truth. I hold the face of pure evil…and I live in everyone.
… *silence*
You're confused aren't you?
Yes. Could you perhaps explain that in backstory form? A musical number would be great.
I will not sing for you, nor will I dumb down my definitions just to please you. I please no one and am feared by all.
All of what exactly?
I am a part of the mind. I am that twinge of evil that everyone has. I am like a muscle, the more I am exercised the stronger I become. If I am exercised too much I will overpower and reach levels of evil that no one has had before, except two.
Who?
You and…someone else…
Me? But I'm not THAT evil.
You are capable of evil and wretched things. You have not exercised me, yet I am as strong as ever. You kept me bottled up for so long that I had to escape.
If I'm capable of so many horrible things, why aren't I doing any of them?
That is a question you should be asking yourself. Why are you hiding the true evil inside of you? Why won't you let me out so I can exist and wreak havoc on the wretched good souls of this town? Why are you subsiding the twisted and mad thoughts from within? Why won't you be you…?
But that's not me. I'm not twisted or mad, I'm just a-
Doofus, Imbecile, Idiot-
HEY!
Never Mind, I wanted to discuss more important matters and plans with you.
Like what?
Like how we're going to get rid of that platypus.
Perry…oh right! He's alive! Ha! Your plan failed! It failed and Perry the Platypus is alive and healthy and there's nothing you can do about it!
Oh really? Nothing I can do, huh? We'll see about that.
W-wait! What are you doing this time?!
WE'RE waking up.
Waking up? What do you we're waking up? We're dead…aren't we?
We are far from dead.
But we were shot- I was shot! Perry the Platypus shot me!
Yes, curse your mortal body. I saw that platypus step up to the plate and I already know he isn't going down without a fight. He is not the one who shot you.
If Perry the Platypus didn't shoot me then who did?
It doesn't matter who shot you! The point is, that platypus will pay!
You'll never win against Perry the Platypus! He'll beat you.
Just like he beat me last time right?
It was a draw and you know it.
You shouldn't have intervened.
I had to stop you before you killed him!
And I had to stop you before you killed US. It doesn't matter; I'm taking a new mind now. I have grown tired of you.
What? Whose?
I believe I have someone in mind…
A/N: Mwahaha! Last chapter next! What's on your mind?