He Shouldn't Have Done That

By: Lesera128

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I own nothing... Obviously. Just playing in someone else's sandbox for a bit.

Summary: Brennan ends her partnership with Booth after she considers his confession to Hannah about her the ultimate betrayal. AU.

Chapter 14 – Twelve Months After, Part III

I didn't mean for it to happen. It was an accident, really. We were sitting on the couch, and Booth had pulled me toward him in a tight embrace. I had leaned into him, and my face had come to rest against his shoulder, my cheek pressed against the warmth of his throat. It was so warm, he was so warm. And, I couldn't help myself as I had buried my face deeper into the crook of his neck, nuzzling it softly. Booth sat perfectly still, but, at some point I felt him shiver. Several more moments passed, and then Booth shifted slightly, probably for comfort, but he moved at exactly the same time I did. And, in that one second, my face moved when his chest did, and suddenly my lips were on his throat. It was a chaste, accidental movement. It was really nothing more than my lips grazing his throat by accident. But, when it happened, I realized that he was even warmer against my lips than he had been when it had just been my cheek. And, I couldn't pull away. It was as if I was held in some trance. My lips lay just pressing against the warmth of his throat... and then I stilled myself enough to realize that I could feel his pulse. It was beating. Fast. So fast. I could feel it through the delicate skin of my lips. And, it was so fast, and he was so warm. And, at some point, I felt him shift his head, and suddenly his lips were on my neck.

It was a small movement, quickly made, but hesitant, tentative. And, for a moment, I just felt Booth with his lips lightly resting against my throat. But, then he opened his mouth to take a breath, and when I felt his lips against my neck again, it wasn't a simple touch, a simple caress. Booth was kissing me, softly, at first. Small kisses, tracing down the column of my neck from ear in the direction of my shoulder blade before he encountered the cashmere of my sweater. The kisses were soft, but firm, and I felt my own heart rate increase in response to the motion. I think he was waiting for something, some indication that he should stop and that I would pull away. But, as I said, I was in a trance, mesmerized by his actions. Soft, so soft... and warm, so warm. When I didn't pull away, didn't tell him to stop, Booth seemed to take the lack of those actions as a sign that his advances weren't unwelcome.

Pulling me toward him again, I fell sideways into his lap. Booth's hands started to roam as he continued kissing me. Light touches, gentle caresses over my clothing. I was nervous as he continued, but I pushed the anxiety away. He was so gentle, and so warm... and there. And, he was touching me. And, it... it felt. I felt in that moment. And, at that split second, I knew. I knew what I wanted... what I still wanted. What I had wanted from the very beginning even... I wanted *more*.

My hands came up to his head, and I scrapped my nails across his scalp, feeling my fingers run through Booth's hair. His hands tightened around me, and I pulled him closer. But, it wasn't enough. I needed more. Moving my head away from his just slightly, when Booth looked up at me with a small look of alarm and confusion present on his face, I quickly silenced any fears by moving my lips to his cheek. I began to press small kisses down it, across his jaw line, and closer to his mouth. And, on the final kiss when I came as close to his mouth as I dared, I felt him turn and his lips were suddenly on mine.

God, his lips were soft. So soft, so warm, and so... wonderful. Booth kissed me gently at first, but it wasn't long before the kisses deepened. Our already fast heart rates increased even more as we broke a part every so often for air, only to throw our mouths at each other once more as soon as only the barest minimum amount of oxygen had been consumed.

The kisses deepened, and I only protested with a small whimper when I felt him pull a part long enough to shove his hands under my cashmere sweater and yank it up over my head. Booth threw it somewhere behind us so that it landed on the floor behind the couch. It was November in DC, and while not quite winter, it had been an unusually cold fall. I had worn the light lilac sweater over a black knit dress. The dress, sleeveless and with a modest v-neck, gave Booth more access to my skin. As soon as the sweater was gone, I felt goosebumps arise as the cold air hit my warm skin. I didn't have so much as time to shiver as Booth's head came to my chest. He had begun to half-kiss, half-lick his way down my neck towards the valley between my breasts. Cupping them with his hands over the fabric of my dress, I started to feel a buzz ripple through my body. At some point, his hands worked their way into the bodice of my dress, and I started to twist a bit as he tried to get access to more skin, but was hindered by both the dress and my bra.

"Off," I murmured.

It was the first words either of us had spoken since the entire thing had begun. At first, again, Booth pulled back in confusion. It then dawned on me that he thought I meant him when I had spoken.

Smiling, I shook my head and clarified, "Not you. The dress."

Relief washed over his face, as Booth nodded. His hands grabbed the hem of the dress, and I lifted myself up in his lap as he raised it over my head. The dress soon joined the cashmere sweater, and, less restricted than before, my freedom of movement increased by the removal of the dress, I straddled his lap, with a knee on either side of his hips. I was still wearing far too much clothing... bra, slip, and the leggings I had worn for warmth under the dress. But, I was wearing less than I had been, and Booth seemed grateful for that as he pulled me toward him, pressing my body against his chest. His hands began to skim the skin of my back in languid strokes, edging a little further up, and going a little further down, each time. At some point, Booth's hands ran underneath the straps of my bra, and I felt stars start to prick the edge of my vision. He was so warm, so gentle, but I still needed more.

"More," I breathed. "Please, more."

My soft plea seemed to encourage him as I hoped it would. He moved to unclasp the bra, but I stopped him, suddenly realizing that for the amount of clothing I was wearing, he was sinfully overdressed. Booth must have caught a look in my eye as he grinned and said, "Don't worry. No buttons this time."

I smiled at that, and pulled at the fabric of his t-shirt. However, Booth was faster than I was, and he deftly removed the offending garment in one swift movement. Then, he was bare chested, and I was pressing myself into him, and he was so, so warm. And, he felt so, so good.

Looking into my eyes, he inclined his head. I nodded, knowing what he was asking. "Yes, now."

Booth's hands came up my back, skimming it in another movement that continued to fan the growing flames of my desire. One more click flick of his wrists, and then the bra feel forward. I shrugged out of it quickly, this time being the one to toss it behind me. Booth took a moment to stare at me then, just looking. A small part of my mind wondered what he could find so mesmerizing about a single pair of mammary glands, when, obviously, mine were not the first, nor second, nor even third pair he had to have seen and been able to be in such close proximity to before this night. Booth forced himself to blink, his hand at last coming up to caress the bottom of each breast in turn. I shivered at the touch, not from temperature, but from contact. My nipples had already peaked into tiny firm buds that made me want to cry out just from the pressure of his stare at them. Whetting his lips, he pulled me closer to him with the breath of a single word escaping his lips.

"Perfect."

I barely had time to register the words before Booth's lips were on me, and it was no longer with an effort or intent that I could quite call gentle. But, he was still warm, so warm, and what he was doing felt good, so very good. The infrequent words that either one of us had muttered were soon replaced by soft moans, pleading groans, and short, sharp gasps of air. At some point, I lost the slip and leggings I had been wearing while Booth's jeans disappeared. Eventually, I found myself on the couch laying down on my back with Booth leaning over me. His eyes were heavy-lidded and dark with desire. I think that was the first time then, at some point through all of it - the alcohol, the haze of my arousal, I saw something for the first time I had been looking to see in Booth's eyes at the same time I had gone looking for it - want. Desire. Want. Pure want shone in his eyes... pure want of me. Another wave of emotion coursed through my body when every single nerve ending already felt as if it was close to overloading. I smiled a half-smile, half-lazy grin at him. I wanted to pull him down to me, and for just a moment, he let me. Feeling his weight on top of me, it felt wonderful. I could also feel the very prominent evidence of his desire for me manifested physically as it pressed the soft flesh of my thigh. God, Booth wanted *me*, and I wanted *him*... and was this happening?

As he continued to kiss me, touch me, taste me, I thought... 'yes, yes, it is happening... and I really don't have a problem with that right now.'

Almost as if he had heard my words, Booth surprised me a bit when he pulled away from me. He looked reluctant as he stopped, and I grew concerned.

"What?" I whispered.

"I, ah-" Booth began.

"What?" I pleaded again.

"I just..."

"Booth?" I asked, confusion and uncertainty coming into my eyes.

Why was he stopping? Was I wrong? Had I done something wrong? Did he not want me anymore?

Booth stared at me, and I stared at him as a hand came up in that minute towards my face. I was surprised when he used the back of his hand to caress my cheek. "How drunk are you?"

"Somewhat," I admitted. "I... ah, I have sobered up a significant amount since where I was earlier in the evening, but... my inhibitions are definitely reduced."

"Is that all?"

I nodded. "I'm not... I'm not… I'm not going to black out… I know what I'm doing, what this is, who I'm with… I won't forget."

Booth removed his hand, and sighed.

I looked up at him and said in a very small voice, "You?"

"The last shot rejuvenated the buzz, but I'd be lying if I said it's anything more than a moderate one," he stopped and then looked up at me. "I would say it's just enough that I'm feeling very inclined to… resume what we were doing."

"But?" I asked. There was, after all, always a 'but'.

Booth smiled at me, and he said. "No, 'buts'. I just... wanted... to make sure."

I felt a breath of relief escape me at that point. His smile widened at that, and Booth grinned at me as I flushed slightly in embarrassment that he now knew I had been worried that we were going to stop.

Another thought then occurred to me, and before we proceeded, I needed to ask him the question. "It's selfish, isn't it?" I suddenly asked.

Considering the question for a moment, Booth nodded. "Yes. For both of us. Very."

"It's just taking again," I added.

Booth thought on this moment and then said, "Yes… but it balances out, you know… the taking. It's okay to take... as long as you balance it with giving."

I reached out, and took one of his hands. I pried his fingers loose so I could intertwine mine with his. Booth looked down at the hand as I grasped it firmly. It was warm and pulsing with life… and I could *feel* it.

"Are we doing this?" he asked at last.

Giving his hand another squeeze, I shrugged my shoulders as I said, "I don't know… are we?"

"We can," Booth replied quickly. "If… you..."

"I do."

"Then, if we want to, yes."

And, those seemed to be the magical words. Want to... yes. He leaned back down over me, covering my body with his. Lifting my arms and hips to meet him, the sensations started to overwhelm me as I felt warmth and wanted and... and, then stopped thinking, stopped analyzing as I enjoyed the moment for what it was. Yes, I now knew what it meant to just be in the moment. To just…feel. And, it felt... wonderful.

It was a lot more slow this time, when Brennan moved, and Booth responded. Unlike the first night that had been driven in a haze of anger and rage and lust… this was an exploration driven by want and curiosity and warmth and… the desire just to *feel*.

And, feel they did. They remained on the couch…panting, pawing, groping – skin on skin… tongues fighting, fingers touching, mouths tasting, hands pulling, and each movement was made deliberately… with a single goal in mind. And, this time, when each of them fell a part… this time… this time neither pulled away in anger, but had fallen away in replete satiation. Separate, still keeping a large part of themselves separate and guarded from the other… but, this time… there was still enough contact that the promise of hope could be said to truly and actually finally exist between the pair.

I pulled away first. And, this time, again, he followed. Booth pulled me to him. I tried to squirm away, but his grip tightened.

"Don't," he half-whispered, half-pleaded.

"I—"

"Don't," Booth repeated. "You said you wanted to feel, right? Something real? Something warm? Something that's not negative? Fine. It's here. I'm here. We're here. So... just….feel," he breathed again. "Just… FEEL."

In that moment, I didn't know what to do. My brain was fighting to regain some semblance of control. My heart was tensing with fear of the burden this act might indicate it would have to face ramifications and consequences for in the very near future. Next to me, I imagined I could hear the same struggle for Booth… only the wording changed slightly. What did it mean? How does this change things? What happens next?

And, I didn't have any answers for any of those questions. Neither did Booth, I knew that much. What I did know is that I no longer felt sad, I no longer only negative emotions. Now? Now, there wasn't really a negative or positive value judgement that I could add to these things. All there was... was the emotion. The experience. There was me, there was him... and this is where we had ended up.

So, for now, I merely… felt. And, for now, that was enough.

-TBC-