A.N.: So finally, here comes an update. I sincerely hope I'll have the next chapter ready faster than this one, but I can't make any promises.

A.N.2: Now reposted with less grammar and spelling errors.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, the last ten manga chapter or so would never happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hot Springs Country~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto could only stare in awe as Jiraiya effortlessly tore into the Kumo forces. 'Guess there is a reason he's legendary, other than his writing,' he thought. In the next moment a whistle of a flying kunai snapped him from his musings. He dodged instinctively and turned towards the one who threw it. He was in the middle of the battlefield and he should be concentrating on other things than his teacher's performance if he wanted to live. He eyed his opponent. Judging from his flak jacked, he was a chuunin. 'This shouldn't be hard,' he thought. As he and Jiraiya had been trailing behind the Kumo army, there wasn't much to do besides keeping quiet and the blond was bored. He was itching to see some action and he wanted to try out the results of his training in real combat.

He drew his ninjato, just as the Kumo chuunin finished his handseals. Naruto jumped sideways and the ground he had been standing on turned to mud. He heard the Cloud ninja cursing. 'Amateur,' he thought. He sent Wind chakra into his blade and attacked. The Kumo chuunin easily sidestepped the blade. Or so he thought. He didn't realize there was an invisible extension until it nearly cut him in half. Naruto didn't bother to watch him collapse and looked for his next opponent.

He didn't have to search long. After the sudden demise of the Cloud commander, his underlings were lacking orders and turned to attacking whoever was wearing Konoha headband without any organization or strategy. Naruto found himself being targeted by a pair of young men, probably brothers judging by their similar appearance. And they were certainly teammates, because they coordinated their attacks well. The shorter one threw a handful of shuriken at him, and as Naruto jumped away, the taller one unleashed a volley of kunai. The Konoha chuunin couldn't dodge midair, so he had to evade via a Kawarimi. The rock he exchanged himself with was immediately pierced through.

'A wind user,' he thought with a surprise. 'This is going to be interesting.' He landed behind them and swung his sword. The brothers leapt back, the Wind blade missing them. 'Figures they would know that trick,' Naruto thought. Before he could think anything else, the pair began forming handseals.

"Katon: Housenka no Jutsu" cried the shorter one.

"Fuuton: Reppushou," the taller one added. Naruto's eyes widened. The five small fireballs created by the Housenka were fanned by the wind of the Reppushou and grew in size and temperature.

"Suiton: Mizurappa," he cried one of the few Water jutsu he knew. He spat a stream of water from his mouth and hit one of the fireballs, quenching it. The other four were still after him and he had no time to repeat the jutsu. 'Guess I'm going to find out how does somebody caught in my Firestorm feel.'

He ran to the side, but the fireballs changed their direction. 'They're good if they can control them,' he thought. He moved the fastest he could, but the fireballs were closing in on him. And then he got a completely crazy idea. His teachers would probably tan his hide if they knew he as much as thought about it, but thankfully none of them were watching. He turned on his heel and sprinted right into the fireball. After all, that way he'd spend less time enveloped in the flames.

It was hot. Unbearably so. And it hurt. But he paid no mind to it. He had to get through the fire the fastest he could. The second it took him to get to the other side was probably the longest in his life. He was sure his hair and clothes were on fire, but the look on the brothers' faces when they saw him emerging from the flames was worth it. He swung his ninjato, already charged with Wind chakra, and the Kumo chuunin were too slow to react. The Wind blade cut deep into the taller one's chest. The shorter one was decapitated.

Naruto dropped his sword and hit the ground. He rolled back and forth in an attempt to douse the flames. His ninja clothes weren't easily flammable, but the jutsu combo had been too hot. It had little effect. He needed water, but there was no stream nearby.

Then suddenly he was hit by a great mass of cold water. He thought it would bring him relief, but instead the shock of cold on his burned skin brought him more pain.

"My, my," an unfamiliar voice spoke. "It looks like your teammates are just as inept as you." He opened his eyes. He saw a vaguely familiar kunoichi with dark hair and blue clothes standing above him. Behind her he spotted Hana, the Haimaru triplets standing guard around her.

"What are you doing here?" he blurted.

"No thanks?" the black-haired kunoichi raised an eyebrow. "I only just saved you from being roasted alive, so why should you thank me."

"Thanks," he said a bit embarrassed.

"So what are you doing here?" Hana asked.

"Hey! That was my line!"

"We're here with the army," the Inuzuka answered. You?"

"I'm with Jiraiya," he explained.

"I don't want to interrupt your touching reunion, but we're in the middle of a battle," Tokiko reminded them.

"How could we ever forget," Hana commented dodging a kunai somebody threw at her thinking she was distracted and an easy target. In the next moment he had to fend off three angry dogs.

Naruto climbed to his feet. Everything hurt, but the Kyuubi's healing factor was already working. He was able to fight again and that was what he did.

The battle didn't last much longer after that. The Kumo's forces were in disarray ever since their commander died and the presence of one of the Legendary Sannin only fuelled their panic. Many of the weak-hearted ran the moment the toad had appeared and the others soon realized that the tides of battle had turned against them. Even those who were brave weren't suicidal. They could recognize a lost battle and decided to retreat to fight another day. Soon, the battlefield belonged completely to Konoha ninja.

After that the real chaos started. The medics ran across the battlefield looking for those who needed their attention and many of the other ninja searched for their friends and teammates they got separated from during the fighting. Nobody really cared about the ninja code and they openly expressed their joy if they found them alive or sorrow if they found them dead. Naruto and Hana looked for the rest of Team Tenzo. It wasn't easy even with the help of the Haimaru siblings; there were so many smells floating around that their noses had a hard time making any sense of it. Tokiko left in search of her own team, so now it was only the two of them plus the dogs.

They found Hotaru first. She was sitting on a rare patch of undisturbed grass, using her field medkit to dress a couple of shallow wounds.

"Hotaru!" he called at her. She lifted her head and smiled.

"Naruto!" the purple-haired kunoichi exclaimed. "What are you doing here? And what happened to your hair? And clothes?"

"I helped with the fighting," he replied. "And a Katon jutsu happened. Don't ask for the details."

"I won't," she promised, "but how did you know about the battle?"

"Ero-sennin took me here," he explained. "We've been stalking the Kumo army for days."

"Ero-sennin?" she raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Jiraiya," Naruto explained.

"You call one of the greatest ninja to ever hail from Konoha 'Ero-sennin'?" Hotaru asked in disbelief.

"Here you are, gaki!" Jiraiya's voice sounded from nearby. "And you found yourself two pretty ladies? Good job, my student."

"Do you understand now why I call him Ero-Sennin?" the blond sighed.

"Yes," Hotaru grimaced upon seeing Jiraiya's lecherous grin.

"So what are your names, beautiful ladies?" the porn writer asked.

"Those are my teammates," Naruto introduced them. "Inuzuka Hana and Uzuki Hotaru."

"So girls, what are you doing this evening?" Jiraiya asked.

"Hey! Stop hitting on my teammates!" the blond boy protested.

"That's nice of you, Naruto," Hotaru spoke, "but you really don't have to do that."

"So you'll go out with me?" the white-haired man asked hopefully.

"No," the girl replied with a kick. "I meant I can take care of myself." Jiraiya looked hurt, but Naruto was convinced he was faking it.

"Did you see Tenzo?" Hotaru asked.

"No," Naruto shook his head. "He was here too?"

"Yes," the kunoichi confirmed. "We got separated before you arrived."

"Then let's go look for him," the blond chuunin decided. The group resumed their search.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Battlefield~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good thing Jiraiya-sama appeared," Raidou said.

"Yes," Kurenai agreed. "We would have been toast if it wasn't for him."

"It wasn't that bad," Tenzo reassured her. "You did very well. Are you really still a chuunin?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

"I'm sure you'll get promoted soon," he said.

"Thanks," she smiled. Under different circumstances she might have blushed, but she was currently too tired for that.

"And look who's coming," Raidou said upon seeing the approaching chuunin team plus one Sannin.

"Naruto!" Tenzo exclaimed. "What are you doing here? And what happened to you?"

"I'm with Jiraiya. Did you forget?" He decided not to answer the second question. He didn't want a scolding for being reckless.

"No, but wasn't it too dangerous for you to fight?" his guardian questioned. "Considering... you know."

"And what was I supposed to do with him?" the Toad Sage shrugged. "Kumo ninja were crawling everywhere. There was no staying out of the fight. I didn't want to leave him alone. This way he helped."

"It could have easily ended in a tragedy," Tenzo disagreed.

"Yes," Jiraiya admitted, "it could. But then, anything might end in a tragedy. There's a war going on, didn't you notice?"

"Don't we all know it," the Mokuton wielder sighed. "So how are things going, Naruto?"

"Great," the boy smiled. "I'm learning a new jutsu."

"And your problem?" he wanted to know.

"Ask him," the young chuunin pointed to Jiraiya.

"Still working on it," the Sage informed them.

"Well," Tenzo shrugged, "I didn't expect it so soon anyway."

"Well, Naruto," Jiraiya said, "catch up with your teammates. I have a couple more people I have to see, and then we'll be leaving."

"Yes, Naruto, now explain why are you all charred."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Fire Country~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto was beginning to feel bored. After they had parted with the Konoha army, they had spent some time in the Hot Springs Country and its neighboring territories gathering information on the invaders. That had been exciting, having to sneak around and occasionally fight some enemy shinobi, but then Jiraiya decided that they had gathered as much information they were going to get and headed south. So now they were near the southern shores of Fire Country, going from one holiday resort to another and asking about Jiraiya's old teammate, who nobody saw there for years. The young chuunin seriously didn't understand why they were doing this when they should be helping in the war, but that didn't matter to the Sannin. He said that their current priority was finding Tsunade and that's what they were doing.

But otherwise Naruto had no reason to complain. The weather was nice and he really liked the sea. And the fact that nobody knew him so people didn't look at him oddly helped a lot too. Here he was just another boy with a bad haircut, his hair having yet to grow back completely after being mostly burned off in the battle. Even his training was going well. He still couldn't perform the Rasengan correctly, but the training had helped him with his Whirlwind Fist. He could now keep the blades spinning for minutes at a time and was thinking about adapting the technique for his feet as well. And Jiraiya claimed he had made some progress with his Kyuubi problem as well. He still didn't show him a solution, but he insisted he was getting close. Naruto believed him.

There were also some annoying moments. Jiraiya tended to disappear for hours on end and returned giggling perversely, usually still scribbling into his notebook. Often there was an angry mob of females chasing after him. Naruto lost count of how many times they had to skip town suddenly, because the Toad Sage was in danger of being dismembered. He couldn't comprehend why the man kept doing this. If Tsunade knew her old teammate any, she would be alerted to his presence from several towns away. And if she really didn't want to be found, she would have no problem evading them. He seriously suspected that the self-proclaimed Super-Pervert considered their mission an excuse for womanizing.

Jiraiya also made him hide his Leaf headband and chuunin vest while traveling. He claimed it would spook Tsunade into running if she learned there were Konoha ninja nearby. Once again, Naruto had absolutely no idea what he was trying to accomplish with it when he didn't even try to cover his own rather distinctive appearance.

Therefore he considered it highly suspicious, when Jiraiya suddenly announced that Tsunade had been spotted in the next town. But he didn't dare to question the spymaster's expertise aloud, for fear of another lecture, obediently packed his things and followed him on the road.

Murakami was the same as most of the other coastal towns they have visited before; a moderately sized settlement with a neighborhood of hotels and entertainment resorts situated along a wide beach, trying desperately to attract tourists and cover up the fact that their glory days were long past, and a much larger area of residential quarters, a small trade port with a marketplace and the fishermen's district with adjoining slum. Life there went on like there was no war going on, a fact that had at first startled him, but he got eventually used to it, as it was the same in all the coastal settlements. All in all, nothing remarkable. There wasn't even any half-decent casino, so Naruto didn't understand what was Tsunade the Legendary Sucker doing there. From what he had gathered from Jiraiya, this was the one thing the Slug Sannin couldn't live without. But she didn't owe money to anybody there, so that must have counted as a big plus.

Jiraiya booked them into an inn and then left claiming he had to talk to some of his contacts. Naruto personally translated it as 'went to peep on the girls on the beach.' He remained alone with nothing to do. They had run all the way from the last town, so he felt too tired for training, but it was still day, so he wasn't sleepy either. So lacking any better option, he decided to browse the downtown, despite thinking that Murakami was going to be utterly boring. And he was partially right. The houses, shops and residents seemed the same as the ones it the previous town and the one before that and the one before that. But soon he saw something that chased the boredom away.

Unfortunately it wasn't something he wanted to see. He had spent only a week protecting Lady Mao and he still considered it the crappiest seven days of his entire shinobi career, and that was counting the war. The arrogant noblewoman had a knack for making people's life hell. His experiences guarding her woke him up from his sleep on more than one occasion. But as much as he didn't want to remember it, he couldn't help but recall that it was then when he had briefly encountered Tsunade. It would be quite the coincidence if they found the elusive kunoichi now, when the obnoxious noblewoman was in town too.

While he was lost in thought, he failed to see that Lady Mao slowly drifted closer to him. He noticed it only when her unmistakable shrill voice snapped him from his thoughts.

"What are you doing?"

"What?" he blinked in confusion. He was merely standing in the middle of a street.

"How dare you not make way when you see nobility coming?"

"Oh, sorry," he muttered and tried to disappear. He didn't want to spend any more time in her presence than he absolutely had to. Every single second was torture.

"And where do you think you are going?" She grabbed his arm. "Apologize properly."

"Oh sorry, great and mighty lady," he began trying valiantly to keep the sarcasm from his voice, "for stepping into your path. I was so stunned with your beauty, that I was unable to move. Please forgive me for ever casting my unworthy peasant eyes on you, though I can never be forgiven for soiling your delicate hand by making you touch my filthy arm." By that time, they had gathered a small crowd of onlookers, some of whom were snickering openly. Mao ignored them.

"Do you think a simple apology is enough?" she sneered. Naruto grimaced.

"I would kiss your feet, if I didn't fear tainting them forever with my foul commoner's stench," he replied and this time the sarcasm was quite apparent.

"How dare you..." the noblewoman turned red, which was apparent even through her several layers of make-up. Naruto couldn't bear looking at her anymore. His eyes drifted over a crowd. He noticed a familiar face there. It belonged to a young woman with short black hair. Where had he seen her before? Was she perhaps a ninja of Konoha here on a mission? Then he noticed she was carrying a little piglet in her arms. That certainly looked familiar. And then he remembered. He had seen her while guarding Lady Mao. He had even spoken to her briefly. She was Tsunade's assistant.

He couldn't believe his luck. They spent months looking for them and now he nearly ran into one of them. But what was he supposed to do? Call out to her? If they really didn't want to be found, that would make them run. Should he follow her? He was pretty good at trailing people, but he wasn't so confident to think he could fool a Sannin.

"Have you gone deaf?" The shout reminded him that Lady Mao still held his arm in her deathgrip. He returned his attention to her. Then he noticed out of the corner of his eye Shizune turning around and leaving. 'Oh no,' he thought. Did she recognize him? It was highly unlikely, but still...

"Sorry," he told Mao, "I have to go."

"How dare you..." she roared again, but he paid her no attention. He quickly freed himself from her grip.

"You broke my nail! You're going to pay for it!" He ignored her outraged cries and made his way through the crowd towards Shizune. But before he pushed through all the people, he lost the sight of the kunoichi. He stood at the intersection and scanned the streets for any sign of the young medic. Nothing. Shizune had disappeared completely. He sighed. He'd have to inform Jiraiya. He wondered whether the sage was going to be glad or mad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Murakami~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finding Jiraiya was no easy feat. The town that had seemed so small suddenly proved that it possessed a vast supply of crooked streets and shadowy corners, all of which could hide the Legendary Sage. Even when he tried to concentrate on the places with pretty girls, it still left too many spots to check. And he had no idea where did the spymaster go. He sighed. This was going nowhere. The sun was already setting and there was still no sign of Jiraiya, Tsunade or her apprentice.

He was seriously considering giving up and returning to the inn, waiting for Jiraiya to show up (probably tomorrow around noon), and then tell him and let him do the work. Only the old perv would probably scold him for not locating Tsunade when he had the chance. And maybe he would scold him for going off on his own and scaring her away when he was supposed to report to him immediately. So it was a tough choice. He decided that he shouldn't make it on an empty stomach and decided to have dinner first. He couldn't recall seeing a ramen stand (a shame, really), so he entered the first decent-looking diner he came across.

He sat down at an empty table. Considering the hour, it was strange that there weren't more people, but the young chuunin didn't have that much experience with similar establishments, despite Jiraiya's attempts, so he didn't know what was normal. He studied the menu for a while and discovered that they served ramen, so he ordered a bowl of pork. He waited for the waitress to deliver it and then dug in. And promptly choked. His eyes filling with tears, he finally understood why this restaurant wasn't crowded. They dared to call this ramen? It could barely be called food. Somebody there should repeat their cooking lessons. Teuchi would probably have a stroke if he saw somebody botch ramen like this.

He couldn't stand that insult to all things holy in his mouth anymore. He spat it out, not caring where it was going to land. He then doubled over on his chair, coughing, trying to get rid of the horrible taste.

"Watch out where do you spit, brat!" an angry voice interrupted his misery. He blinked. The speaker sounded a bit drunk, but it was female. He could usually charm women with his cute eyes, so he didn't have much to worry about. He looked up. The first thing he noticed were breasts. He still wasn't in the age to be interested them, but those were truly outstanding. Their sheer size was intimidating. Then he looked higher and noticed a big cleavage adorned with a strange necklace. Then he noticed a pretty young face currently twisted in an angry snarl. Two blond pigtails were next. And last came the diamond-shaped mark on her forehead. Uh-oh. He blinked to make sure he wasn't imagining things. But nope. The sight stayed the same. He really did just spit on Tsunade. Next came the thought how long had she been sitting there and how could he have missed her before. Then it occurred to him that it was quite a coincidence to run into her the moment he wasn't looking for her. And then he thought that whatever he had been supposed to do upon encountering her, spitting on her coat certainly wasn't it. 'Jiraiya is going to kill me' followed immediately after that.

"Well, brat, I asked you something!" Tsunade growled. It occurred to the boy that maybe Jiraiya won't kill him, because there would be nothing left to kill after the woman finished with him. The Slug Sannin looked that furious.

"S-sorry, madam," he stammered, "I didn't want to."

"But you did! Why did you do it if you didn't want to?" she demanded.

"The ramen was so bad I just couldn't hold it," he explained.

"Well," she shrugged, "the sake here's pretty bad too. But at least it's sake." She picked up the jug standing on her table and took a hearty swig. Suddenly she didn't look so angry anymore. Naruto began thinking that he might survive the encounter after all. But what was he supposed to do now? He wished he knew. And he wished Jiraiya was there, but the old man was still off perving somewhere. There was no chance he would suddenly walk through the door. Between running into Lady Mao, seeing Shizune and then spitting on Tsunade, he felt like he had already spent his daily quota of coincidences.

"Everything feels better when you get drunk, boy," Tsunade spoke. "And if it doesn't feel better, drink some more and it will feel better. Or you'll forget about it. Yes, that's the good thing about drinking. But the bad thing is... the bad thing is... I can't remember. But it doesn't matter. You're too young to drink anyway." She poured the sake to her cup, somehow managing not to spill a single drop, which seemed miraculous considering her state of inebriation, and downed it at one gulp. Naruto watched her with fascination. It looked like she had completely forgotten that she had been angry with him. He wondered what he should do.

"Drinking is just wonderful," she continued. "I've already forgotten why I started drinking. I can't remember anything about the war, the dead or the blood. Nope, nothing at all." The chuunin wondered just how intoxicated she was. She had seemed merely tipsy at first, but now it looked like she was seriously sloshed. As he watched pour herself another cup, he wondered whether he should stop her. He decided against it; he didn't want her angry at him again. Even drunk, a Sannin was still a formidable opponent. No, he'll just sit there, wait for her to drink herself to oblivion and once she passed out, he'd pick her up and carry her to the inn he and Jiraiya shared. Yes, that sounded like a plan. The old geezer would be astounded with his accomplishment.

He watched Tsunade slowly empty the jug and order another. He listened to her ranting about things that meant nothing to him, nodded at the appropriate times and wondered when she was finally going to pass out. He was beginning to worry that it might never happen; she didn't seem to be getting any drunker. Though, if he watched her really carefully, weren't her movements a little slower than they used to be? Or was it just his wishful thinking?

Just as he was finally beginning to believe that his plan would succeed, the door to the bar opened and somebody walked in. Naruto at first paid it no attention; after all, lots of people came and went during the evening. But then the figure headed towards their table.

"Here you are, Tsunade-sama," it spoke. The voice sounded vaguely familiar to Naruto. With a jolt he realized it was Shizune. "You shouldn't be sitting here like that. And you shouldn't have left without telling me where you were going. There are Konoha ninja in town! I saw one earlier this afternoon! What if they saw you and... oh." Her eyes fell on Naruto. "Looks like they already did."

"What?" Tsunade blinked. She was still drunk, but suddenly she seemed alert. Her honey-colored eyes focused on the boy in front of her.

'Uh-oh,' he thought as her face twisted in a snarl. His eyes darted left and right. It only confirmed what he already knew: he was trapped. The two women stood between him and the door. There was a backdoor leading to the kitchen, but he was separated from it by the counter and several tables with guests. And there was little chance he would make it that far anyway. They were too good to make an escape possible. And fighting was out of the question too. 'Guess I'll have to talk my way out of this,' he thought.

"So you've been spying on me all the time," Tsunade stated angrily, grabbing him by his collar.

"No," Naruto shook his head.

"Ha! And you think I'd believe that?!" the Slug Sannin accused him.

"It's the truth, honest!" the chuunin defended himself. "I just came here for some ramen, I had no idea you'd be here!"

"Then why did you stay for so long?" she questioned.

"Uh..." Naruto wracked his brain for a believable answer.

"I knew it! You are here for me!" the blond kunoichi stated. She looked about ready to punch his face and considering what he had heard about her monstrous strength...

"Don't you think you're overreacting, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune interjected. Naruto would have kissed her, if Tsunade's fist wasn't still holding him in place.

"No," she answered firmly. 'There goes my chance,' Naruto thought wistfully. 'Where is Jiraiya when I need him?'

"He's just a kid," Shizune reasoned with her.

"So?" the older woman shrugged. "When I was his age..."

"He isn't you," the younger woman pointed out.

"I know he isn't me! But I know his type! The little ones are the most dangerous!"

"I'm not dangerous!" Naruto assured her. "Not at all!"

"Who do you have me for?" she snarled. "Do you honestly think I'm going to believe that?"

"It's the truth!" he insisted. She still refused to believe him.

"Tsunade-sama, you shouldn't choke him. That would get us in trouble," Shizune tried to placate her.

"We're already in trouble, if some little punk kid found us," the legendary medic muttered.

"Then let's just leave," the dark-haired woman suggested. "We can lose them like we keep losing the debt collectors."

"We can," Tsunade agreed like it only now occurred to her.

"So you can just let him go," Shizune continued. She probably didn't like seeing little kids being manhandled.

"No," the Sannin shook her head. "No letting him go. He'd just run back to his teammates and tattle on us. He's going with us."

"You want to take him with us?" Shizune's eyes widened.

"Just until we skip the town," her teacher decided. "Then he can go wherever he wants."

And so Naruto found himself dragged off by a legendary powerful drunken ninja. It wasn't an entirely new experience, Jiraiya had done it to him before, but this time it felt much more dangerous. There was no telling what an inebriated Tsunade was going to do. Naruto took a calming breath and wished desperately that they'd run into Jiraiya. Though, considering his current luck, it didn't seem likely.

And that's it for today, folks.

Next time: Will Naruto survive an angry, drunk Tsunade? Or will he get punched through a wall?