Disclaimer: All recognizable Rizzoli & Isles characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to Tess Gerritsen. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This is a series of missing scenes and post-ep scenes for "Dance With the Devil" (4x05) that I have been working on. It will be lengthy and heavy. Eventual Rizzles. You'll read a quote about friendship that does not belong to me. The quote was written by Jeffrey Bell for the character of Scully in an X-Files episode called "Rain King." Thank you for reading and always for your kind reviews. –DKC
Mothers & Daughters
Jane closed the door behind Hope and turned back to her best friend who was still sitting at the kitchen island sipping her tea. Jane found herself confused as to why Maura would want Hope there in the first place. She knew Maura didn't accept comfort well, but maybe Maura needed Hope to see her hurt because of Paddy.
"She likes you," Jane said quietly as she approached the island and sat next to her friend.
"She has to, I'm her daughter," Maura responded.
"You and I both know that isn't true," Jane covered Maura's hand with her own.
"When you begin dating a man, how do you tell him about Hoyt?" Maura looked into her cup of tea.
"Did I miss something or is this just another of your awkward segues?" Jane tilted her head to look at Maura, confusion written all over her face.
"Your hands give you away. Surely it comes up," the doctor was back to contemplating her tea.
"I…" Jane took a moment to collect her thoughts. "I can't hide my scars. You're right. But I try to put off that particular conversation as long as possible."
"Surely you have to talk about it before you have sex," the doctor said matter-of-factly.
"Uh," Jane took a gulp of her own tea. "You overestimate my love life,"
"Gabriel already knew. When did you tell Casey?" Maura looked at her friend for the first time since asking such a personal question.
"Casey knew I'd gone through something. Everyone knew. I guess I didn't tell him until after we…" Jane hesitated.
"Had sexual intercourse?" Maura helped.
"Ugh. Why do you have to say it like that?" Jane blushed.
"How do you broach a topic like Hoyt?" Maura wondered aloud.
"The same way you and I talked about it," Jane answered quickly.
"Tears and wine?" Maura smiled at Jane.
"Why do you ask, Maur?" Jane was very curious now.
"How will I know when and how to explain my family to someone I'm, well, dating?" Maura's question prompted Jane to squeeze Maura's hand.
"You'll know," Jane pressed her shoulder against Maura's. "If he cares about you, he'll be understanding of Paddy and Hope and thankful that your adoptive parents gave you what they could."
"He's a mobster, Jane," Maura paused before choking on her next words. "A murderer."
"Maybe you should play up Hope," Jane tried to lighten the moment.
"She built an international organization on money from that mobster and murderer. She had a child with him," Maura was struggling.
"It was pretty ballsy of you to tell Hope you'd like her to go back in time and sleep with somebody else," Jane stood up, walking their empty cups to the sink.
"It certainly would make things less complicated," Maura stood.
"You wouldn't be who you are," Jane rounded the island and stood near her best friend. "That would be a tragedy."
"Would it?" Maura's self-confidence always crumbled when Hope or Paddy made appearances in her life.
Jane reached out her hands, taking both of Maura's hands in her own. She gripped those soft hands and looked into the doctor's eyes. She hoped that her sincerity would show in her eyes.
"You are the most important person in my life and without you, I don't know who I would be. That matters. You matter. And you are the person you are because of a decision that was made thirty-seven years ago. It may be complicated, it may be difficult, but it's part of who you are. I love the person you are."
Tears had escaped Maura's eyes as she listened to Jane. The detective released Maura's hands to reach up to wipe away those tears. Once she'd wiped each tear away, she continued to hold Maura's face in her hands.
"Maur…" Jane whispered. The pain in Maura's eyes was tearing the brunette apart.
"It would be so easy if I never had to have the conversation about where I came from with anyone ever again."
"I…" Jane was lost in Maura's hazel eyes, lost in the possibilities of what Maura was saying.
Suddenly Maura's lips were on Jane's and her arms were around the detective's strong shoulders. The kiss deepened quickly as Maura's tongue traced Jane's bottom lip. She pressed her tongue against Jane's, asking for entry. Jane pulled back, her hands dropping to Maura's hips to hold her in place.
Jane gripped Maura's hips tighter as Maura gave her a disappointed look.
"What was that?" Jane asked, not dropping eye contact.
Maura's smile snuck out and melted Jane immediately.
"This isn't just because you wouldn't have to have the mobster/murderer talk with me, is it?" Jane smirked as she pulled Maura to her and wrapped her arms around her.
"That's just a bonus," Maura began walking to the stairs, leaving Jane grinning, though completely baffled, and stuck in place. "Don't forget the lights, Jane."
The detective did as she was told, flipping off light switches as she walked toward the spot where her best friend had just been standing. She knew when she arrived tonight that she would be staying. She knew when she arrived that if Maura asked her to hold her and give her comfort, she wouldn't turn down the opportunity. She hadn't imagined that she would be going to bed following Maura kissing her passionately—going to bed with Maura.
Jane climbed the stairs and entered Maura's bedroom where she found the blankets pulled down already. There was a pair of shorts and a t-shirt at the foot of the bed, perfectly laid out for Jane. Maura was in the bathroom brushing her teeth from the sounds of it. Jane quickly changed her clothes, turned on the bedside lamp and shut off the overhead light. As Maura exited the bathroom, a look passed between the two women. Jane walked toward the bathroom to brush her teeth, her arm grazing Maura's as she passed.
When Jane exited the bathroom she found Maura curled up under the covers. Their eyes met, but no words were exchanged. Jane crawled into the bed, shutting off the lamp as she did so. Maura turned over and shifted back against Jane. The detective gladly wrapped her arms around Maura and pulled her tight.
"When you asked me if I missed my dad," Jane's voice was quiet and serious. "It's not the same you know."
"Hmm?" Maura whispered, her hand reaching for Jane's.
"My dad, Paddy. You, Hope. They are very different."
Jane's mouth was very close to Maura's ear, her cheek against Maura's wavy hair as she continued to hold the smaller woman tight against her.
"If you had killed Paddy…" Maura started, but was stopped by Jane shushing her.
"Shh…let's not revisit that. You hate 'what ifs'."
"I don't miss Paddy. I don't even miss Hope. I miss the years I didn't have with the people who gave me life. Is that irrational?"
"There's nothing irrational about wanting time back, time that you should have had with people who are a part of your very being," Jane hummed to Maura.
"Do you think Hope and I will ever be close?" Maura's voice cracked a bit as she asked.
"I think tonight was a good first step," Jane reassured.
"I don't know that I'll ever truly trust her. How could I?"
"You know what?" Jane pressed a soft kiss to Maura's temple. "I've never told anyone I've been with everything. Hoyt, you know?"
Jane's confession was surprising to Maura in some ways and not at all in others. Maura brought Jane's hand up to her lips, their fingers intertwined, and kissed it gently.
"Do I know everything? I mean, I know everything about that day at the prison, but before. Do I know everything?"
"Yes," Jane breathed.
Maura clenched Jane's hands closer, pressing herself further back into Jane. A single tear fell as the weight of what Jane said set in. She may never trust Hope completely. She certainly would never trust Paddy. But Jane? There was no one she had ever met who held her trust like Jane.
To be continued…