Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the characters and world all belong to J.K. Rowling.
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"Hmmm...I think a pinch should do the trick and the stew should be ready in time for when Arthur comes home", Molly Weasley said quietly to herself. "Now I think the pie should only need a few more minutes before-"
CRASH!
"What in the world!"
Molly quickly rushed to the sitting room where the crash had originated from and came upon an unexpected sight. There before her was Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley crumpled together in a mess of limbs, on the floor before the floo covered in soot. Molly could not help but feel her mouth drop at the very sight.
"Ow! Get off me Harry!"
"I would if Ron would move his fat arse!"
"Oi! My arse is not fat so you can just shut you mouth, Harry!"
"Who's brillant idea was it to come through the floo together!?"
"I wouldn't talk 'Mione. We weren't the ones who decided to piss off both Snape and Vane. This is all your fault!"
"Quick, we need to get out of this mess and run. Snape should be on his way."
"I would if Ron moved his arse."
"Oi, lay off my arse! Now Hermione if you could just-"
"RONALD WEASLEY, HERMIONE GRANGER, HARRY POTTER! WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO POOR SEVERUS!?"
At that point all three member of the Golden Trio stop their motions of trying to break free from one another and slowly looked up. The sight before them was scary. Their before them was a furious Molly Weasley with her hands firmly on her hip and her eyes glaring accusedly at the three of them.
It didn't take long for Ron, Harry, and Hermione to dislodge themselves from one another and line themselves up before Mrs. Weasley with their heads down.
"Now, is anyone planning to answer my question? What is going on here?"
The Trio couldn't help but look at one another, trying to decide who was going to be the first to receive the matriarch's scolding. Finally taking in a deep breath, Ron step forward.
"Hermione did it. It was all her fault. She was the one to anger Snape. I don't even know what she did.", Ron said quickly as he was pointing an accusing finger at his friend.
"Ron! Whatever happened to sticking together!?", Hermione snapped.
"Well it's the truth. I don't know what you did to the dungeon bat, but he was sure hell bent on getting you when I heard him scream you name. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm sure the git deserves wh-"
"RONALD WEASLEY! How dare you say such things! I know I raised you better then this! Now Hermione, what did you do to poor Severus?, Mrs. Weasley said pointedly to Hermione.
Hermione could not help but cast her head down at Mrs. Weasley glare. She felt like a first year all over again. 'Damn. Molly's going to be mad for sure once she hears what I did. Might as well get it over with.'
Taking in a deep breath Hermione mumbled, "I may have lead Romilda Vane to believe that Snape was planning on getting an engagement ring."
"And when did you do that?", Molly said sternly.
"When she burst in on my meeting with both the Professor and Malfoy.", Hermione mumbled.
"And why would Severus be upset with that?"
"Because Professor Snape was not looking to find a ring, only certain information."
Molly's head was spinning. None of what Hermione was saying was making any sense. Why on earth would Severus be upset with a small incident that she was sure he could fix in a matter of minutes. Who was this Romilda girl anyway? And why on earth did it sound familiar? Molly decided to look to both Harry and Ron for answers, but all she found were two very shocked men. Now what was that all about?
"'Mione, are you out of you mind!? I can't believe you did that to Snape!", Harry exclaimed.
"Yeah, I have to agree. I don't like the greasy git, but even he doesn't deserve that."
"Well, what did you expect? I was angry. That man not only insults me in front of the Potioneers Committee and my boss, but makes statements that cause me to be put under investigation. What would you have done?"
"'Mione", Harry soothed, "I know you're angry with him, but almost anything was better than setting that harpy out on him and you know it. Burn his hair, turn his robes pink, transfigure him into an actual bat, but not set Vane on him."
"That's the strange thing, I didn't set Vane on him, she already had her claws in him to begin with. I think he called me, hoping to get any information on how to get rid of her. The only question is, how did he find out to ask me?"
"Wait, I think I know.", Ron added in. "Sometime ago there was a rumor going around Diagon Alley that Snape was looking into Vane's old victims. Well, at least I thought it was a rumor, but I can now see it was probably true. I bet you ten galleons one of our House mates felt bad for the bloke and told him to come to you."
"You might be right there Ron. To be honest, I'm a little nervous facing her myself after the Nott incident. Hey, does anyone know who tip him off?", Harry asked.
"No one did. And honestly, I don't blame them. After news came out that he was hoping to finish off what the Toad had started with the whole muggle-born registration no one was willing to help him. That's why he had to be submitted into St. Mungos after he found that tin of heart shaped biscuits on his desk.", Hermione said with a smirk.
Ron and Harry couldn't help but to exchange a look. They knew that smirk well and remembered the last time they had ever seen it.
"'Mione," Ron asked tentatively, "do you know something you're not telling us?"
"Whatever do you mean?" Hermione said loftily.
"Because the last time we saw that smirk Marietta Edgecomb face was cursed." Harry depanned.
Hermione couldn't help hide the grin spreading across her face.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. Now could the three of you please explain to me what is going on. I'm starting to get a headache." Mrs. Weasley said holding her head. She wouldn't have been surprised if she had whiplash after witnessing the entire exchange.
"Sorry Mrs. Weasley" "Sorry Mum" came from the Trio.
"Mrs. Weasley I think we better sit down. This is quite a story and I have a feeling Professor Snape's going to come through here any minute and kill me the moment he sees me, so when I'm finished I can go ahead and give you my last will and testament in the end."
"That will be fine dear. Shall I put the kettle on?"
A resounding "Yes" came from the trio and the small group made their way to the kitchen sat around the battered table as Mrs. Weasley busied herself making tea and setting out a plate of biscuits. Once everyone was situated with a cup of tea, Mrs. Weasley turned to Hermione and asked:
"Hermione dear, could you please expain slowly what is going on and more importantly why Severus is after you."
'Oh, this is going to be a long story. Snape is definitely going to floo in on me any minute now and I am probably going to die.'
Taking in another deep breathe Hermione explained, "I think it will be best if I start at the beginning and work my way up to when we crashed in through the floo. Is that alright Mrs. Weasley?" Molly responded with a slight nod of her head. "Alright. Do you remember when that article in the Daily Prophet about a girl who tried to give Harry a love potions during our time in school?"
"Yes, I do", Mrs. Weasley said darkly. "I wanted to find the little tramp and hex her into the next century."
Hermione flinched at Molly tone and continued, "And do you remember when Ronald was poisoned during our sixth year?"
"Yes, dear." Molly was now puzzled by the line of questioning, but decided to wait patiently for the answer that she was sure to know that would follow.
"Well, Romilda Vane was the one that tried to give Harry the love potion that Ron ended up intercepting. If you remember, Harry had to take Ron to Professor Slughorn for the antidote and that is where he ended getting poisoned."
By the end of the Hermione's statement Molly was seething. Not only had that little tramp try to steal her daughter's soulmate, but she also was the one mainly responsible for her youngest son's near death. She wanted to leave right then and now to hunt the little tramp down, but knew she had to hear the entire story before beginning her hunt.
"Now Hermione I want to know the full reason why this little tart has anything to do with Severus being angry at you. Do not leave out any details and trust me I will know when you are lying."
"Oh, where to begin. Okay, my boss came to see me today saying that I was requested at Hogwarts to offer my expertise on a subject for Professor Snape. I tried to get out of it, offering to allow one of the other experts to take my place, but my boss wouldn't have it. He stated that the letter requested me and only me . My boss took it as a sort of olive branch after the whole investigation incident and told me that I had no choice in the matter."
"Oh, I remember now. You blew up that old tree stump the day you were told their was an investigation put on you about your potion. Arthur had to set you down to convince you not to kill Severus. I thought the matter was settled when he wrote that letter of apology."
"I thought so too, until Minerva was the one to tell me that she was the one to force Professor Snape into writing it."
"How on earth did she do that? Severus after all is a stubborn man.", Molly said musing.
At that point Ron and Harry couldn't contain their laughter. It had been some time since Minerva had relayed the news of the potions professor apology and still they could not help but laugh at the Headmistress creative threat.
"I take it by Harry and Ronald's laughter that Minerva had a hand in Severus's apology?", Molly asked.
"You would be correct." Hermione said. "When news broke out that Professor Snape was the main reason for the investigation she went down to the dungeons and demanded an explanation. Of course Minvera being Minvera she not only got the truth, but demanded a written apology to be issued. You were right, Snape said no so Minvera threatened to transfigure him into a red and gold teddy bear and pass him around all the first year Gryffindors. Minerva told us that Professor Snape handed her the apology within an hour and sulked the rest of the week. Trust me Molly, there was no sincerity in that man's actions. He only wanted to avoid Minerva's wrath and you and I both know that when she issues a threat she follows through. Don't you remember what happened to Lucius Malfoy when he tried to get the Board to cut funding towards the schools quidditch supplies?"
Oh yes, Molly believed she would never forget the sight of Lucius Malfoy transfiguration. It had been well known that since the fall of Voldemort that the Slytherin team had been struggling to win the school Quidditch Cup. Lucius, hoping to give his old house an edge, proposed to the Board of Governors to cut the school funding for new brooms used by students whos families were either to poor to purchase brooms for their children or those who had muggles for parents. Minerva was furious when she heard the news that the issue would be put to vote on the matter. She had demanded that Lucius take the proposal away or else he would feel the effects of being single out in Wizarding World. Lucius had completely ignored Minerva's threat and put the matter to a vote, but before a single hand could be raised Minerva immediately tranfigured the man into a little girl complete with pink frilly dress, bowed pigtails, and lolly. At first appearance one would believe they were in the presence of a seven year old girl, until the little girl opened her mouth and spoke in the voice of a forty-nine year old man. To say Lucius was furious was an understatement. He immediately demanded that he be changed back in to his normal self, but Minerva outright refused. The spell she had cast over the man now turned little girl would last seven days and if he had planned to cross her again even longer. Upon seeing Minerva in action the Board of Governors voted to dismiss Lucius Malfoy's proposal and voted silently amongst themselves to never piss off the Headmistress again.
Lucius Malfoy became front page news in the Daily Prophet. Somehow a lucky photographer was able to get a rare photo of the man/little girl before he went into hiding. Once the spell had worn off the Board voted that Lucius be dismissed from school voting for at least two months and once he had returned he made sure not to invoke the Headmistress's wrath again.
Coming back to the present, Molly nodded for Hermione to continue her tale.
"Well as you can already guess I was very angry to be summoned by that man and wanted to go down to Hogwarts and hex that man within an inch of his life. Of course, Harry and Ronald occompanied me as a safety precaution."
"Dear, I don't think the man would have hurt you. After all, he was the one to request you."
"Oh, the safety wasn't for me, it was for him. Anyways, we arrived at Hogwarts via Minerva's floo and I made my way down to the dungeon while Harry and Ron decided to stay and catch up with the latest Hogwarts gossip."
"Hey! We did not gossip! You make us sound like chatty little girls!", Ron all but screamed.
"That's because you sounded like chatty little girls! Honestly, who starts a conversation with, 'So Minerva, what's the latest scandel?' and says things like 'He didn't', 'Oh, really!' and 'I can't believe it'?, Hermione mocked. "You know I should call both your wives down and recall the conversation you had with Minerva and I bet you fifty galleons both would say you sounded like chatty little girls."
Harry huffed once Hermione had finished her statement and knew there was some truth behind it, but he wouldn't admit to it. "Get on with the story Hermione. We're not the one on trial here right now so go on." Harry said.
"Alright fine. Anyways, after I left the trio of gossiping girls," Harry and Ron scowled at the statement, "I marched my way down to the dungeon to give Snape a piece of my mind. Of course, I burst through his classroom door and demanded an explanation. I was a little surprised to find Draco there, but at the moment didn't really care to get an answer as to why he was at the meeting as well. Words were exchanged and before I could receive a solid answer as to why my presence was requested Romilda Vane burst through the door and started chattering about Snape meeting her Mother. It didn't take a rocket scientist-"
"A what?", Molly and Ron said.
"A rocket scientist is an aerospace engineer that deals with the design, construction, and study of the science behind the forces and physical properties of aircraft, rocketships, flying crafts, and spacecrafts." Hermione stated.
Upon seeing Molly and Ron blank expressions Hermione added, "A really smart person." After seeing understanding spread across both their faces Hermione continued her story.
"Where was I? Oh yes, it didn't take a, uh, Merlin himself to see what was going on."
"And that would be?" Molly asked.
"That Romild Vane had set her sights on obtaining Professor Snape as her future husband and was moving heaven and earth to insure it."
"Oh, but if the two were involved wouldn't the idea of a wedding proposal be in the near future for Severus?" Molly asked.
"Well see that's where the back history of Romilda Vane comes in. You see, Romilda is the type of girl who does not take "No" for an answer. You can tell her a hundred times that you are not in a relationship with her and she will think you are just playing coy. She becomes obsessed with the men she is trying to obtain. She has actually driven a few of them insane. Almost everyone in Gryffindor House is afraid of her and makes sure to steer clear away from her."
Molly was shocked upon hearing this news. "Is that why so tried to posion Harry with a love potion?" Molly asked.
"Yes. She had been obsessed with the idea of being Harry Potter's girlfriend since the beginning of our sixth year. She became so desperate that she concotted a plan to sneak a love potion to him in some sweets. That's how Ron intercepted the potion, you know he can never say no to chocolate."
"Hey, I will have you know that I actually can say no to chocolates." Ron said indignantly.
"Was that before or after the love potion?", Harry said with a smirk.
Ron just grumbled and told Hermione to continue on with her explanation.
"Moving on. After what had happened to Ron I confronted Romilda about the whole incident. Needless to say, I can't go into the specifics of what happened after the confrontation, but after that day Romilda made sure to never cross me, Gryffindor House all agreed to an oath to remain silent about her obsessiveness, and she decided to set her sights on other men." Hermione finished.
"I don't understand. I mean, I understand that she is giving Severus unwanted attention but what I don't understand is what information Severus needs from you and why this Vane girl will never cross you."
"That is exactly what I wish to know", a new voice said from behind the group.
Rocket Scientist explanation: wiki/Rocket_scientist