Title: The Gravel in Your Guts

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: R

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My fourth Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride.

Spoilers: Everything up to and including Knockout is fair game. Also, you don't have to read The Continuing Day by Day or Love Let Her, but these do occur prior to events in this fic.

Summary: Castle's past comes back in the worst way. Luckily, Beckett won't let him face it alone.

Author's Note: I've had this scene knocking around in my head ever since I saw Knockdown. It has to be coming eventually if Alexis is the person I think she is.

Even though she can still feel the strain on the muscles surrounding her bullet wound as they continue to knit back together, Beckett feels as though the strain on her chest is lessening each and every day. Beckett would have to buy Lanie something special to thank her for giving up her personal time to help her with her physical rehabilitation. Maybe that red strapless dress that Lanie's had her eye on for weeks ever since they stopped off at Zara after one of their sessions. And, impossible as it was to believe, she had actually lost a few pounds, even though she was still on medical leave.

Usually, it worked the other way. You took that time to recover from your injuries, but the sedentary lifestyle in between PT sessions usually meant gaining a pound or five. But, then again, her lifestyle had been anything but sedentary once Castle had returned from Dubai. The soreness in her legs was confirmation enough of that fact. And while she still didn't know why Castle had gone to Dubai, she had enough of the pieces.

He had essentially put the bullseye on his back, effectively moving it from hers, so she could have one chance at catching the monster that took her mother away from her. At first, she was furious at him for what he did. But when she realized that Castle was truly with her until the very end, she also realized that he was the person that she had been looking for to fill that hole in her life. The hole she kept vacant for so many years by pushing away anyone that showed an inkling of interest in her well-being. That was, until she met Castle.

At first, he was just a writer whose books helped her to cope with her mother's death. But when she met him, he wasn't like the person she imagined him to be. Instead, he was arrogant, self-serving, and pretentious. She hated him the first moment she met him.

But then she started spending time with him, and slowly, she started to see the Rick Castle her mind had made him up to be when she started reading his books. He was a father. A son. A partner. A friend. Her friend.

And now they were more than friends. It had taken three years to get to this point, but Beckett felt confident that she was ready to take this next step with Castle. Yes, there was still the matter of his past relationships. He was twice divorced, and there had to be a reason for that. Possibly a future conversation for the both of them, but right now everything felt right.

Castle had already seen the best and the worst of her, and he never wavered in his loyalty to her. He was still by her side, even after she'd tried to push him away when he told her to give up on her mother's murder. But when he finally realized that would never be an option to her, he did the impossible by giving her another option.

His life for hers.

But Castle was right. It might be days. It might be years before they got any new leads regarding the identity of her mother's killer. So in the interim, Beckett was determined to see if she and Castle could work. He surprised her once by being the best partner she'd ever had. Best lover? That one was still up in the air, because Castle was very protective of her during their lovemaking, always asking her if he was hurting her or if she needed to stop. Beckett was counting the days until the end of her therapy sessions with Lanie, so she could finally tell Castle that she was okay, and he could finally show her how much he truly loved her.

Beckett smiles at the thought as she turned the corner into the hallway of her apartment. However, her smile drops slightly when she sees the person waiting in front of her door, a sense of concern beginning to overcome her.

"Alexis?"

Beckett can't quite make out the look on Alexis's face as she pushes herself up against the wall, scrambling to her feet as Beckett makes her way over to her. "Hi." Alexis's gaze moves to the gym bag that Beckett is gripping tightly by the strap, pausing for a moment before continuing. "I'm sorry. I'm catching you at a bad time. I can come back later."

"Don't be silly. I always have time for you." Beckett steps past Alexis, fishing her keys out of the gym bag before sliding the key into the door. She turns the key, the tumbler sliding away as Beckett opens the door to her apartment. "Please, come in." Alexis nods at Beckett, giving her a brief smile as she walks past Beckett into the loft. Beckett closes the door behind her, placing her bag in the side closet before following Alexis into the living room. She notices that Alexis is still standing as she makes her way into the living room. "So, what's up?"

Alexis folds her arms about her chest, her brow furrowed as though she's contemplating Beckett's question. However, after a moment, Alexis finally gives her an answer. "Dad didn't come home again last night."

Beckett considers the younger Castle's words before responding. "I'm sorry, Alexis. I thought he told you that he was going to spend the night."

"He did."

Her response puts Beckett on the defensive. If Castle had told his family that he was spending the night with her, then why was Alexis here? "I'm sorry. I don't understand…"

"Look. I get it. Dad's been in love with you for like ever, and now that he's with you, he doesn't want to waste any more time." Beckett smiles at the fact that even Alexis knew about her father's feelings for her, well before she did. "But that love's going to get him killed."

Needless to say, the sudden shift in conversation has garnered Beckett's full attention now. "Alexis, I think you're being a little dramatic here."

"He threw himself in front of that bullet." Beckett's mouth opens slightly to retort, but Alexis doesn't give her a chance to interrupt. "And I know whatever happened to his hand was because of you. He won't tell me, but I can tell by the way he looks at you, you're the reason his hand is broken."

"Alexis…"

"You're a cop, Kate. You're used to the inherent danger that comes with that, but my father's an author. He's not supposed to be in the middle of gunfights. He's not supposed to be on stakeouts at three in the morning. He's supposed to be at home with his family, sitting in front of his laptop and writing. Because that's the person my dad is."

Beckett finally realizes what was on Alexis's face when she first saw her in the hallway, still coming to terms with the realization. Alexis is angry with her. "I wouldn't have your dad follow me around if there was any chance that he could get hurt." Beckett's voice becomes soft as she looks at Alexis. "I'd never let anything bad happen to him."

Alexis chuckles slightly, making Beckett slightly uncomfortable upon hearing it. "But don't you see. That's the problem right there." Alexis looks down at her feet before returning her gaze to a puzzled Beckett. "How can you promise me that, when you couldn't even protect yourself?" Both women remain silent, Alexis's concerns finally sinking in for Beckett before Alexis breaks the silence. "I know you care about my dad."

Beckett doesn't hesitate with her words. "I do. Very much."

"But you have to realize that the closer you two get, the more he's going to want to protect you. And, maybe the next time someone takes a shot at you, that's the time Dad gets there in time." Alexis walks toward Beckett, standing next to her, but facing the door as she speaks. "I like you, Kate. That's the only reason I'm here. Because I know whatever you and my dad have, it's not like what he's had with other women. I've never seen him like this before. And that scares me, because I know it's only a matter of time before he does something stupid to keep you safe."

Beckett's gaze is now on the floor in front of her, knowing that Alexis's words, although painful to hear, are absolutely necessary. "What do you want me to do?"

"I'm happy that you and my dad are together. I really am, Kate." Alexis takes a deep breath, as though she's steadying her nerves for what has to come next. "But he can't be a part of your professional world. Not anymore. And if you care about him as much as I think you do, you'll know that I'm right." Alexis continues toward the front door, leaving Beckett standing in the living room. And when Beckett hears the door open and close behind her, she takes a deep breath before exhaling sharply.

Because she knows that Alexis might be right.

Continued