Chapter 28

Kaiba could not remember a single other incident in his life where his own thoughts had felt this mixed up and scrambled. It's why he had to leave, why he had to be on his own. He had to find some sense of normality within the confused mess his mind had fallen into. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't shake the stalking presence of Body. His already agitated state dripped with annoyance; he didn't need this, he didn't want this, why wouldn't the guy just leave him alone already.

As he neared the entrance of Kama Traydon he forced himself to come to a stop. As irrational as the thoughts moving through his head were, he still knew the importance of staying within the boundary of the garden. All he wanted was time to get his head straight, why couldn't his stalker understand that?

'You're not him,' Kaiba almost found himself gritting his teeth against the sound of his own voice. 'If you were him you'd understand I need my space right now. If you were him you would trust me to go back to where the others were when I was ready to go back. If you were him you wouldn't...' he stopped himself, not totally sure what the rest of the sentence was.

Behind him Body made no attempt at a reply. Then again why would he? The guy had no voice.

'You're not him,' Kaiba gave a heavy sigh and turned towards him. 'You're not.'

The youth's single visible eye filled with a strangely emphatic look. After a few moments he pulled back the hair from the left side of his face to once again reveal the mockery of human flesh he wore like an ill fitting mask. Kaiba couldn't help but feel sick; that face did not belong there, nor did it look like it ever should belong there. Seeing his disgust, Body let his long left fringe fall neatly back into place. He then took a cautious step forwards, his hands reaching tentatively towards Kaiba's right arm.

'Stay away from me,' Kaiba pulled back as his whole body prickled with agitation.

Undeterred the youth took another step forward, grabbing Kaiba by the wrist as he did.

'Let go,' Kaiba tried to pull his hand back only to find Body's grip too strong to be broken.

Body's grip on Kaiba's wrist tightened as he lifted Kaiba's hand towards his chest and placed it next to the key he'd taken from Tristan earlier. To Kaiba's surprise he felt a strong heartbeat pulsating below his hand. His brain was too frazzled to really comprehend what it meant; beyond the fact Body was clearly alive. But what did that matter? What point was he trying to make exactly?

In confusion, Kaiba lifted his gaze to meet the youth's, whose visible eye read with a clear message; how can you demonise me now?

'You're not him,' Kaiba shook his head, 'you... you're not him.'

Titled his head slightly, Body's expression change and in doing so sounded out a silent question; what must I do to convince you?

'You can't convince me of something which isn't true,' Kaiba's voice sounded as dry as his mouth felt, 'just like you can't have a conversation with someone who doesn't talk. You need words in order to communicate so this... this conversation you're trying to have with me is pointless.'

In response the youth simply closed his eye, causing the area around them to come alive with the sound of an obscure song, whose backing track drowned out the vocals. Despite this Kaiba was still able to tell what the song was about, not because it was familiar to him, but because of the tone and mood it set.

Body opened his eye again, his message was clear; you don't need words to communicate, haven't you learnt that yet?

'I don't care. I don't care what you think,' Kaiba turned his head away, 'you're not him, this is not a conversation and I just want you to leave me alone.'

Body's grip on Kaiba's wrist tightened and his free hand gently touched Kaiba's cheek forcing his gaze back towards him. The meaning to Body's actions was as clear as his expression; I'm not letting go of you that easily.

'Why not? Why won't you let me leave? I need to be on my own. I need to be anywhere but here. I can't deal with this right now.'

Body shook his head and his lips twitched with a strangely sympathetic smile; you're stronger than this.

'You... you don't know me. You're not him.'

Body nodded as his forehead creased with concern; I am.

'You're not. You can't be. You don't even act like him. I told you, he would know when to leave me alone.'

Body's visible eye studied Kaiba as he tilted his head to one side and lightly brushed a lock of hair out of Kaiba's eyes; you believed I was Win.

'Win, yes, but not Tristan. There's a difference between Win and Tristan. A huge difference. And nothing... nothing you can say or... not say will convince me otherwise. Do you understand? You're not him. You're not Tristan.'

Body made a noise which almost sounded like a sigh as he shook his head and lowered his gaze; if that's what you have to tell yourself, but... His eye flicked back up again; Win is still a part of him, which means I'm a part of him too whether you want to believe it or not.

'How are you able to say so much without words?' Kaiba stared at the youth in a strange mixture of apprehension and wonder.

Body released his grip on Kaiba's wrist in order to cup his face; you understand me, because you know what to look for.

'Don't,' Kaiba pulled away.

Body shrugged and turned from him. For a while there was silence. Despite himself Kaiba found himself studying Body. As he did he felt the Pure doing the same, but sensed her motives were slightly different to his own. After all, she was looking for evidence that Body resembled Win somehow, whereas Kaiba was looking for proof he wasn't Tristan.

'You should get back,' Kaiba gave a nervous cough as he broke the silence, 'I'm sure the others must need you by now.'

Body gaze turned back towards him; will you come too?

'I'm not ready to go back yet.'

Body shrugged, folded his arms and lowered his head in a stubborn manner; I'm not going back without you.

'You have no intention of leaving me alone, do you?'

Body's face filled with a waxy smirk; of course not.

'Why are you so obsessed with me?'

Body lowered his arms and took a step towards him; you know why.

'If that's the way you feel, then I know you can't be him,' Kaiba turned his gaze away. 'Those feelings belong to Win and the Pure, not to us. So if you feel that way then you can't... you can't be him. Because those feelings don't belong to us. They're not ours. They're not.'

Body placed a hand under Kaiba's chin, forcing him to face the curious frown set deep into Body's waxy features; exactly who is it you're trying to convince?

Done. He sat back to admire his work with a sick eye. It was done now. Finished. His ordeal was over. It had to be. That had to be the last nightmare. The last thing standing in between him and his memories. He could feel the cage locking tight around the monster and a deep sense of relief and triumph washed over him.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and willed the memory to come forth. It came. First only words, like a radio softly playing in his mind. Then images, sharp, crisp images, beautifully clear, just as though he were there. Every line recorded perfectly, every movement captured without degradation. He never expected it to be like this. He'd feared his curse would have distorted the memory somehow. But not one drop of it had been altered. Not one line changed from its original. This was more than just a memory, this was the event itself.

He smiled. For the first time in months the numbing sensations of fear and hatred were gone. Erased completely. Or if not erased then at least locked up with the monster leaving him free. Free from fear. Free from hatred. Free from evil. The nightmare was over. He could remember what he'd been told. He would be able to do what was needed. He could fix things now. He could save everyone.

Warmth flooded through his entire being. He'd been cold for so long he'd almost forgotten what warmth was like. It was a nice feeling. It was a good feeling. It was the feeling of being free and knowing the monster couldn't hurt him anymore. For a moment his concentration waned, as he allowed the pleasure of his own freedom to lead him to distraction. And, for a moment, it didn't matter. There was no rush. Not yet anyway. After everything he'd been through... after the battles he'd faced and overcome... he had every right to enjoy this feeling.

The moment passed and his concentration returned. He allowed the memory to once again rise clearly in his mind. To form. To play through to completion. To give him the answers he'd so desperately been searching for. The importance of the conversation struck him like a bolt of inspiration. He knew what he had to do. He knew how to save everybody. He knew the cure.