A/N okay so some people didn't like that Charlie died but I liked it better that way for three reason 1) Action for my story 2) I hate the stories where Bella leaves Charlie to find love 3) we couldn't just leave Vicky out of the story could we?
Anyway for those of you that didn't like it, sorry! but for those of you who did then let us continue _
Charlie.
My thoughts surrounded around him as me and Jacob rode silently towards the funeral but unlike before Jake was driving because I just couldn't I had even wanted to come but I knew Charlie deserved more than that, then I considered just going as I was that being in sweats but again I knew Charlie deserved so much better.
So somehow I managed to pull myself out of my bed and dress myself in a black dress, a black hat, and black heels I even managed to apply my make up although I had to apply it a few times because I kept breaking out in tears, I put on some Jewelry again I was brought to tears as I put on a pair of earrings that Charlie had bought me for my 11th birthday, I slipped on some tights and grabbed a black shawl.
I figured that once I got there I was going to start crying so I grabbed a pair of sunglasses even if the sun was far from coming out It seemed that even the weather acknowledged Charlie's death It might be stupid but for some reason that thought brought me comfort as I wrapped the shawl I had wisely brought.
I wish I could tell you that I felt numb, that I was in shock and I couldn't feel the pain but I wasn't I could feel the heart wrenching pain at losing my father and the fiery revenge I felt to the monster who ended his peaceful life.
The only light that I could see was that at least me and Charlie had become so much closure before he passed, I would feel so much worse if I hadn't got to know him.
I was pulled out of my thoughts by my door being opened, I suppose I didn't notice that the car had stopped.
"Come on, Bella." Jake said softly grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the car, once again we fell into silence as we walked towards the group huddled around what I suppose to be Charlie's grave.
When Angela saw us she came running over, I could see the tears in her eyes which didn't help me with fighting the tears already in my eyes.
When she finally got to me she hugged me tight to her, I could feel the love,concern, and sadness radiating around her.
"Oh, Bella." She cried, I cried I was doing that alot, crying.
"Come on, girls they're about to start." Jacob said guiding us towards the group who had turned to look at us with sadness and pity etched on their faces.
I pretended not to notice the pity, I don't need their pity Charlie does.
I went and stood next to Sam and the Pack who were for once wearing cloths tuxedos no less.
After a the service and Harry Clearwater's and Billy's speeches I said Goodbye to Angela and Jacob who was riding with Angela.
Got into my car and drove home, I walked upstairs took off shoes, throw off my hat and got my jewelry before I fell on my bed asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I woke up in the middle of the night by the pit-patter of rain, I noticed that I was shivering, I also noticed the clothes I was wearing.
What the? but then it all came back Charlie was dead.
It had been like this every time I woke up; forgetting he was dead and then having the grief come back to me full force it was like a horrible game of hide and seek.
You know I never put much thought into I never put much thought to one of Lemony Snicket's quotes on death until now.
"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things." It described perfectly the feeling I was feeling but I felt as though my pain was 100 times worse.
But maybe everyone feels like that? I don't know and I don't really care to ask.
I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed, without turning the light on I went to my bathroom(I hated that word now, My) where I pulled off my clothes, washed my face, dried it and then walked out of the bathroom and for the first time since Charlie died I went into his room.
I turned on the light and my eyes water whether from the light or missing Charlie I couldn't tell.
He room was just like it was before he died; A Queen sized bed with blue bedding, s brown dresser, a brown nightstand, and desk.
All in all his room was pretty bare but I didn't care.
I kept walking to his dresser and pulled open the top drew grabbed a white plain T-shirt and slipped it on it went past my knees.
I then climbed into his bed and burrowed my head in his pillow.
Crying.
Something I seemed to be doing a lot, crying.
A/N sorry for such a ridiculously short chapter! But I am going to upload again tonight or tomorrow morning!

I'm not going to beg.
*Gets down on knees*

Please, please, please review or tell people about my story!

…okay until next time,

-Monet