As I lapsed into the pathetic self I wish I could always be, the Jiminy Cricket in my head sounded. Of course.

You have to deal with this, the voice said.

No freaking duh! I shot back. I was in no mood to deal with this obscenity now. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I shrieked.

You need to tell Fang.

Are you f-ing kidding me?! He's the one who caused all this to happen! He…he…he raped me! If he hadn't I'd be in la-di-dah land with the kids down at the beach talking with him and enjoying the water. But no, I'm doomed to wallow in misery, self-pity and wish I was strong enough to kick the crap out of him.

You don't want that.

Stop telling me what I do and don't want! You are not my dad, Jeb. You may be my father but you are certainly not my dad. And there is a big difference. Now get out of my head before I hunt you down, rip out your spine, and beat you with it!

The voice didn't say anything. I sighed in relief.

I got up and quickly wiped at my eyes, desperately trying to make red puffiness vanish. I washed my face to rid the tear tracks and the dirt.

The mirror was staring back at me.

It showed this hopeless farthing of a girl who didn't look like she could make it for another hour, let alone the rest of her life.

Did I always look that way?

No, I consoled myself. I'm the invincible, indestructible Maximum Ride. I'm brilliant at hiding my feelings, keeping a mask on my face. I'd just have to start doing it constantly now.

I had once relied on Fang. I shuddered and repressed all the happy memories. I don't care if he was drunk or not. He still did it. Don't you do things when you're drunk that you thought about doing when you're sober?

I shuddered at that thought too.

What had happened between us? I'd thought we were best friends. I'd trusted him with everything. Never again, though. Never again would I trust him. I didn't need anyone to lean on. I'm my own hero, and I will keep myself standing strong.

With those comforting thoughts, I deemed my appearance relatively normal and stepped out into the hotel room, ready to pack my bags and leave. I couldn't stay here.

But, instead, I ran into the six year old mind reader: Angel.

"M-max?" she stuttered, tears cascading down her face.

I instantly got down on a knee and held her against me. "What's wrong, baby?"

"What did Fang do to you?"

Shit, I mentally swore. I'd forgotten to put mind blocks up while I was in the bathroom. I'd though that they'd all left to go to the beach like they said they were earlier before I'd even gone in there.

"And why would you be carrying the devil's spawn? You're not holding anything," she said, looking up at me with big, wet blue eyes. "Max, what does rape mean?"

"Ask Fang," I sneered.

"Why do you hate Fang so much, Max? I can hear it in your thoughts. You really want to hurt him." She looked as frightened and scared as a six year old girl who had been on the run for God only knows how long can look. Even after everything that we'd all encountered together, this was scaring her more.

"Don't worry sweetie, I don't hate Fang," I lied easily, putting the mind blocks back up. "I promise, he is someone who will always help us and look after us, don't worry." I pulled her into a tight hug, embracing away her pain. I wished what I'd just told Angel was true; and maybe it would all go back to normal. Yup, and maybe we lived in Candy Land and the Erasers were Lord Liccorice himself.

"Okay, Max. Can I go down and join the others at the beach?" A bright smile instantly plastered her face, her eyes illuminating with a twinkle in them. She trusted me so much it hurt. I didn't want to have to lie to her. But I had to. Otherwise she'd never be safe.

"Sure, sweetie, I'll be down in a little bit."

She skipped out of the room and I watched through the window to make sure she made it down to where the rest of the Flock was.

I sighed. I wouldn't see any of them again. My heart ached and burned, feeling the pain of losing the four people I cared about. I didn't count Fang among them anymore.

There was a duffle left over from the last people who stayed in this room. I quickly grabbed it and filled it with a few necessities. I didn't want to have to take away a backpack from them. They needed them more.

I left a note on the bedside table, jumped out the window, and I was gone.

Dear Flock,

I'm sorry, but I have to go. I can't tell you why I'm leaving or where I'm going but I promise that I will never be far from you. If you are desperately in need of me, I will always be there to help you. Angel, don't mind control anyone. You know how much people hate that. You will always be my baby, sweetheart. Gazzy, try not to let one loose in a public place. Thanks for always being my little trooper. Nudge, try not to talk peoples' ears off. But as much as I always told you to be quiet, I've always loved that about you no matter what Angel thinks I thought. Iggy, try not to blow stuff up and take care of the Flock for me. Fang, I will never forget what you did. But don't come and find me. I hope your conscience catches up with you.

I love you guys. I will always be there for you, only a small step away.

Love,

Max