Two-Machine Guns
It was early in the morning, and Shinji had been lying awake in in his bed for a little over an hour. It was Misato's turn to make breakfast, though Shinji knew she would forget. He heard some stumbling around in the kitchen, and before that the shower had been running. Then his door creaked, and Shinji saw out of his barely opened eyes that it was Misato, already dressed in her uniform for work. Misato stood there for a long time, wondering whether or not Shinji was faking sleeping.
'Could she just talk already?' Shinji noticed that he was still holding the i.d. with the blue-haired pilots photo on it. He had woken up and taken it out immediately to look at it. Some part of him– though he didn't realize it himself– didn't want to deliver it.
"Shinji. . ." Misato's voice was so gentle it was almost sickening. "I know you're awake." Shinji gave no sign that she had heard her.
"That's it, get up!" Misato pulled Shinji by his collar off the bed and marched him out into the hall. Shinji's shouts of surprise were drowned out by the Captain's booming voice. "Test has been moved to noon. So that means you need to go to her house right now and–"
"I don't even know where she lives, Misato!" Sense seemed to dawn on Misato for a moment.
"Rrrrright!" Misato let go of Shinji and went into the kitchen. A second later she came back, shoved an address card into Shinji's hand, and pushed him out the door– throwing his shoes out after him.
'Troublesome. . .' Shinji grudgingly made his way to Rei's apartment, muttering to himself complaints against Misato while remembering what she had said the other night.
"Now you have an official excuse to go to Rei's home. Good~Luck~"
'It really isn't like that,' this thought was a realization that had a good deal of regret in it.
Before Shinji realized that any time had passed, he was standing in front of an apartment door: #402. 'Ayanami lives alone in a place like this?' He rang the doorbell, but– 'It's broken.' Hardly knowing what he was doing, Shinji turned the door handle. 'It's not locked.'
He entered slowly. "Ayanami?" he called out to the seemingly vacant apartment. "Eto. . .It's Ikari." Shinji took off his shoes, but didn't excuse himself from entering. "Is anybody home?" He called out again.
Now he got a good look at the apartment. It was dismal. 'There's no way a girl lives here.' In the far left-hand corner was what looked like a fold-up hospitable bed, and beside it lay a pair of school shoes, a office chair and a small work desk with textbooks and papers lying on top of it. In the far right-hand corner was a small fridge with medical packaging, bottles, and other oddities that Shinji didn't recognize. There was a box of bloody bandages near it, and bags of trash lay about the floor. There was no kitchen, and Shinji failed to notice– as he walked into the main room out of the short entrance hallway– that to his left was a door to the bathroom.
Finally, between the bed and the fridge stood a simple four drawer dresser with– 'Are those Ayanami's glasses?' Ignoring the sounds of stopped water and soft footsteps, he walked determinately over to the dresser and picked up the glasses. He saw written on the side: G. Ikari.
'! They're dad's. . .' Then he heard a noise behind him. He turned around and saw Ayanami drying her hair with a towel. She was completely naked. And though she was looking at him, she seemed not to really take in his presence– or rather, Shinji mused for a split second, that Ayanami cared so little that she willed him not to exist in that moment.
Suddenly, a fierce look appeared on her face, and she marched toward him. Shinji recalled the moment before Toji had punched him for a second time. "WAAAAHHHHH!" Shinji panicked, fell back on the dresser, and dropped his father's glasses. He waited for Ayanami to slap him, but no pain came.
He took a peak through his fingers and saw Rei bending down to pick up the glasses. His eyes drifted from the glasses to Rei's body. Her breasts. . .her thighs. . .her–
"I– I'm sorry! Eto, ahh, Sorry! I didn't see anything!" Shinji covered his eyes and headed for the door. The following moments passed in slow motion. Shinji thought his leg might have caught on Ayanami's arm, while his other foot slipped on the towel that had fallen from her head. He felt his body collide with hers, and the next thing he knew he was trying to break his fall by stretching out his hands.
One caught the cold, hard ground; but Shinji's other hand landed on something firm, and yet, when he gripped to push himself up, it gave way and seemed as delicate as a raw piece of meat, or perhaps a particularly soft pear. It was so peculiar that Shinji stopped for moment to savor the feeling. He looked down and saw that his hand was placed harshly on Ayanami's breast.
"Could you get off," Ayanami's voice was deadly calm.
"Ah!" Shinji flew four feet in the air, and somehow managed to land on the right side of the room, away from Ayanami's bed and the clothes that were laid across the bed covers. Ayanami ignored what had just happened– ignored Shinji– and began to dry off after putting the glasses back on the dresser.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," Shinji said unconvincingly. Shinji's eyes darted down to Ayanami's chest, and a tingling feeling crawled up and down his fingers and palm. He realized that he was watching the girl getting dressed, and quickly turned away– embarrassed. "What was it again?" Shinji said more to himself.
He felt his hand– the hand that wasn't savoring the the recent sensation– move into his pocket, and his fingers grasped a small plastic card. "The card!" Shinji exclaimed in triumph, and he turned on the spot. Rei had put on her panties, but her bra was still in her hand. Shinji turned around again, but his eyes darted back toward the side of his head, back at Rei.
"Your card. . .it's been renewed. So Misato. . .she asked me to drop it off." Impressively, Shinji's voice was calm, though a bit awkwardly stressed and paced.
"Leave the card over there then," replied the other pilot. The words were icy cold. Shinji didn't know what he had been thinking. How could the situation have been salvaged? He was an idiot– now he was certain– and a pervert. "SORRY!" Shinji yelled, much too loudly, and ran out the apartment, after slamming the Nerv ID card on Ayanami's dresser.
He stopped outside the blue-haired pilot's apartment, grasping the door handle and flat wall for support. He felt like he had left his spine back in the dismal apartment. And he began to sob. Tears were steadily leaking from his eyes as he made his way down to the street. He didn't know why he was crying; rather, if he did know, he couldn't express the reason even in thoughts. He couldn't think of anything, but his body seemed to know what it was doing.
Before he knew it, he had stopped tearing. . .his eyes were red and slightly swollen. He was sitting on a park bench near Ayanami's apartment. "DAMMIT ! ! !" Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs, but his throat was so sore and unused to speaking that the exclamation was feeble. 'Dammit. . .she probably hates me now.'
Shinji flung his head down to enter a fresh round of self-pity, but noticed a shadow on the floor. He jumped off the bench. "A–Ayanami!" Again, Shinji came under the girl's red-eyed glare. He had never fully appreciated the effect that the girl's pale, sky-blue hair had in relation to her deep, blood red pupils. He thought, distractedly, that one moment she might smile– and that the smile would be the most beautiful sight he would ever see– and the next, she might strangle him till death.
After what seemed like a long time, Rei broke her stare and walked off. "Eto!" Shinji walked after her. "Ayanami! You're going to HQ, right? Wait up!" Ayanami kept walking, but Shinji thought that she had always meant for him to catch up– like last time, when she had slowed her running down just enough for Shinji to keep up with her.
Neither of them said anything, but it wasn't a comfortable silence. Every time Shinji tried to start a conversation, he looked over at the other pilot, and his determination was crushed. Rei stared straight ahead, and Shinji thought once again that she was willing him not to exist.
They were on the railway toward the Nerv entrance: Shinji sat a bench down from Rei on the opposite side of the train car. 'I have to say something. . . What should I do?' Shinji sighed audibly, but quickly caught himself. He looked over to Rei, who was looking through her school bag, totally oblivious to Shinji's attempts to catch her attention. 'I guess its a relief to know she can't possibly hate me more than she does now. . .'
They were on the obtrusively large escalator, heading towards Shinji wasn't sure what: he was following Rei, hoping to say something– anything, at all. "Y–you do anything my father tells you. . ." Shinji had meant it to be a question– conversational and not at all as harsh as it came out. However, Shinji was beginning to 'get use to' the way Ayanami was. She would hear only an innocent question, to be answered honestly. 'Not that she would ever talk to me again.'
". . ."
'Oh no,' Shinji somehow knew what was coming. Not a slap– she wouldn't slap him for the apartment– she might slap for insulting his father– but this time he knew that all he would receive is from the blue-haired pilot was a stare as sharp as a double-edge sword. 'I wish she would look at me. . .' The girl was looking straight into his eyes. 'instead of looking through me. . .as if I wasn't here– as if I mattered at all.'
"I do," Rei answered. Shinji heard her voice, but not her words. "I have faith in him." Now he was listening, "The only thing in this world I have faith in is Unit-01 and the Commander." Rei turned around, and entered the changing room. Shinji decided that he'd rather not watch the reactivation test, and began to walk toward the Nerv showers.
The Doctor oversaw Rei's reactivation, but the Commander himself was present. Rei was loaded into Unit-01, and they were just ready to begin.
"Shift format to phase two," instructed Dr. Akagi.
"Roger!" confirmed Captain Ibuki. "Operational voltage critical point, cleared."
"Main power, contact." Everything was going smoothly, but the danger still lie ahead. "Begin Linking Pilot to Unit-01."
"Pulse and Harmonics: Synch is Green."
"No abnormalities in CNS and all nerve links connected. 2.5 until absolute borderline."
Here it was: the final barrier. "1.7 . . . 1.2 . . . 1.0 . . . 0.8 . . . 0.6 . . . 0.4 . . . 0.3 . . . 0.2 . . . 0.1: Borderline clear!"
"Unit-01 had been activated," Dr. Akagi announced. "Now commencing test." The test went on with no further complications, but before it was finished the door opened and Vice Commander Fuyutsuki entered–
"Ikari," the Vice Commander announced, "A Kute-class is forming above the geofront."
"Abort the test!" the Commander immediately took command of the situation. "All personnel go to level one yellow alert."
"Sir," the Doctor said, "Rei cannot go out alone."
"Indeed," the Commander nodded, "load the Third children, and begin synchronization."
The whole room was in a frenzy, and in the confusion no one managed to hear Fuyutsuki say: "It gets worse. . .the United Federation has scrambled LFOs."
"For the purpose of destroying the anti-body coralians," the Commander's words were a statement, not a question.
But the Vice Commander correcting him: "To destroy all Coralian presence."
The Commander understood. "Inform Operations Director Katsuragi."
Shinji, who had been soaking in a Nerv communal bath when the alarm sounded, got out quickly, and with unusual vigor prepared himself to pilot the Eva.
'I knew it,' Shinji thought as he was loaded into his entry plug. Rei Ayanami was already within Unit-01. The life in him drained away. He emptied himself of every emotion and thought as the myriad of strange colors and shapes passed by him, and the entry plug settled– the LCL filled his lungs, and the sensation calmed him.
Something about being in the Eva calmed Shinji. 'Why am I so calm? Am I really suited for this? That I'm meant to do it.' Shinji tried to empty himself again, especially of this train of thought: the idea that he was somehow connected to the Eva– like Rei– frightened him more than he could express.
'I just have to hear Ayanami. I just have to let the synch system guide my movements.'
"Are you ready?" Misato's voice was in Shinji's ears. "Rei and Shinji, ready?"
"Yes," Rei said tonelessly. Shinji looked to his side, and their was the blurry outline of the other pilot.
"Get your head on straight, Shinji!" Misato was becoming used to Shinji's pre-fight wonderings, but his aloofness still frustrated her to no end.
"I'm ready Misato," Shinji said firmly, and the confidence in his voice reoriented the whole operations room.
Commander Ikari smirked and took charge. "Launch!"
The Eva was on the ground level in a moment, and Shinji saw LFOs fighting back the Coralians. "What's going on!" Shinji demanded of whoever was listening.
"Calm down," Misato yelled Shinji down, "The LFOs are your back up. Your job is to get to the Kute-class, while they occupy the anti-bodies." This was the official line; but Misato knew it was a lie. As soon as Unit-01 extended its AT field, not only would the anti-body coralians swarm him, but the entire squadron of LFOs would attack– making sure that both the Eva was destroyed and the pilots killed.
"Listen you two," Dr. Akagi said, reading Misato's mind, "Don't extend your AT field until the last possible moment. This is a stealth mission, got it?"
The synchronization percentage was over 60%, and the two pilots said in unison: "Roger."
Without a further command, Unit-01 made its way on the ground toward the Kute-class.