Max POV:

I glanced at Rose fleetingly and felt a pang of guilt. I'd been blaming her and the pregnancy as my reason for running away for too long. I knew that wasn't it. Sure, under normal circumstances, I might've left had that happened; but I wouldn't have been able to leave the Flock.

I left because of Fang. I couldn't deal with the pain of seeing his face everyday. I couldn't cope with the events that had taken place. It wasn't Rose's fault. It never was and it never would be.

Rose looked so peaceful asleep in the makeshift crib. A smile was etched on her face. She rolled over a bit and pulled the blanket tighter around her. A small smile crept silently onto my face as well. When she was happy, I was happy.

I sifted through her memories to a happier time with just Rose. They'd watched a movie and Rose had just found out that fortune cookies had fortunes inside of them. It was on one of their many Chinese take-out nights. Rose had picked up a fortune cookie with a quote from someone named Audrey Hepburn on it. "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other."

I grimaced. I'd held onto Rose best I could. I'd held onto Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, and Iggy. At least I'd held onto them in my hearts when I wasn't with them. I'd almost held onto Fang the most. Or at least, who Fang used to be. I hadn't missed him in awhile. I missed who he was. There seemed to be a big difference.

"Max?" Iggy called softly into the bedroom Rose and I were sharing.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," I scooted over on the bed to allow Iggy some room to sit down. He settled down and made himself comfortable before speaking again.

"Max, I want to know why you left us."

I shuddered, repressing that particular memory of flying away from the people I cared about most in the world.

"Max, I know you would never leave us. You were so torn up when the three of us left that one time. And that was only for a few weeks. You left for two years. And you managed to stay gone, too."

"Iggy, I, I didn't know what I was thinking or doing," I whispered, not able to manage more than that. It felt like all of my breath had suddenly been taken away from me. I didn't want to relive some of my stupid mistakes anymore than I wanted to be experimented on the whitecoats again.

"Were you just running away from your problems?" he asked harshly.

I nodded. "Yes." The word came out even softer than I had been speaking before. My voice was slowly but steady evaporating into thin air.

"It's not okay, Max. But I'll pretend it is. Angel, Gazzy, Nudge, we all needed you. It was so hard with you gone. Not to say it has never been hard when you're here; but it was even worse without you. We fought really badly at least once a day. Angel would cry constantly. Nudge would talk more and more about the most useless and idiotic stuff just to keep her thoughts away from you. Gazzy made so many bombs, all throwing them at flyboys that could have easily been taken out. He was just getting rid of his pent up anger and sadness. Fang, I barely know how to describe how he was. He hated himself. He hated himself through and through. There wasn't a moment when he wasn't thinking about what he had done." Iggy's voice choked and he stopped.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, looking down at my fidgeting hands. I wanted everyone to just drop this subject. I wanted everything to just continue as it was before I left, when everything was normal. I wanted to just pretend none of this had ever happened. I almost wanted to pretend that Rose was a baby I'd found in an alleyway and taken home to care for. That's it. To just exist without problems.

Iggy awkwardly patted my knee and stood up, exiting the room. I hated it when people left me immersed in my own dangerous thoughts when they knew I would be thinking of things I didn't want to think of. It was as if they wanted me to think of it.

Well, Fang, you're not getting forgiven tonight, I thought snidely. I will act as if nothing happened. But, when you least expect it, all Hell will break loose.

Maximum, the voice jumped in, that's not very mature of you.\

I don't care! I wanted to scream.

You're going to regret it if you hurt Fang.

I highly doubt that. In case you haven't noticed, Fang has hurt me numerous times at measures that are so drastically high it would scare half of the population to death if it happened to them.

1 in 3 women are sexually abused in their lifetime in the United States.

Great, so now I'm just a statistic. Thanks, that really helps. Remind me to contact you when I'm in need of psychological help. You always make my day brighter.

I was really going to need to get control of my sarcasm usage.

Max, I might have only imagined the voice sighing, but it sure seemed pretty real. You need to decide how you want to be viewed. Do you want to stand strong and keep your head held up high, or do you want to collapse and self-destruct?

I usually manage to do both at the same time. And quite well, too.

You're being a smart-aleck.

I'm sure I inherited that from you, Jeb.

Maybe it's for the greater good that this happened, Max.

Screw you.

My own father wasn't even upset at what Fang had done. All he cared about was saving the world and the greater good. Well, screw him. I didn't need anyone. After all, I'm my own hero and I keep myself standing strong.