Chapter 26: We Go Back

Well. First off, my beta is a friggin' all-star. Seriously. She deserves an award or something. And you guys? Well, you guys rock.

Take a look at the chapter song. Have any of your theories from last chapter changed? Mwahaha...

Before we packed our bags
And left all this behind us in the dust
We had a place that we could call home
And a life no one could touch.

Rise Against – The Prayer of The Refugee

x.x.x

Bella.

On Christmas morning, I woke to the sound of voices. I could hear them drifting through my bedroom door and I rolled over, groaning. A glance at the clock on my nightstand told me it wasn't even seven a.m. I let out a long breath, falling back on my pillow.

Children got up early on Christmas morning; not full-grown adults who drank God knows how many bottles of wine the night before. What the hell was wrong with these people? When Emmett and I used to share that tiny hotel room back in Forks, he was able to sleep half the day away. When did he become such an early riser? The traitor.

But I knew that if everyone was already awake, I wouldn't be able to hide out in my room for very long. So I kicked the covers off and sat up, pushing my hair out of my eyes. Rubbing my face, I got to my feet and my hand reached out for a glass of water that had been left on my nightstand.

I made my way into my bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I chugged the rest of the water from my glass and filled it back up again, taking a couple sips. As I re-entered my bedroom I went to set the glass back down on my nightstand and paused as I listened – like, really listened – to the voices outside my door. They were hushed; not in the way that meant 'let's-be-fucking-quiet-because-someone's-still-sleeping hushed', but more like… anxious. A slow, sinking feeling formed in the pit of my stomach as I tried to make out words. And it was one of those moments when you know. You just fucking know.

Something was wrong.

Without a second thought, I grabbed a hoodie off the floor and rushed out of the bedroom. The sweater was only half on when I skidded to a halt in the living room. Everybody fell silent as I entered. As I looked around the room, the first thing that registered was that something was off. There were too many people there. The couches were too crowded. And I think my eyebrows shot to my hairline when I recognized the new addition curled up on the couch next to Jasper.

"Alice!" I couldn't mask the shock in my voice. I glanced at the others, looking for an explanation as Alice rose wordlessly from the couch and wrapped me in a hug that was far too restrained and consoling to be a six-month reunion hug.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I asked when she pulled away, her eyes not quite meeting mine. And then I remembered that sinking feeling and the hushed, worried voices and suddenly I was worst-case-scenario-Bella. I thought my knees were going to give out when nobody spoke right away. Because like I said, children got up early on Christmas morning; not full-grown adults who drank God knows how many bottles of wine the night before. And because when people show up on your doorstep on Christmas morning after not seeing you for six months they tend to act a little bit more excited. And… because… fuck.

I looked between Emmett and Rose and Jasper and Alice and everybody looked miserable and no one was speaking. I lowered myself shakily onto the couch as my stomach churned. And as I looked around, I could only see the one person missing from the equation. Edward.

"What happened?" I asked weakly, looking up at Alice.

She closed her eyes and blew out a soft breath before she spoke, "Edward's fine." The breath I'd been holding escaped my lungs and it felt like the weight pushing down on me was lifted. I collapsed back into the couch and she continued, "But it's his dad."

Whatever relief I felt vanished. "What…?" I let the question hang there and I didn't have to be a genius to know whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"He's, well, he's really sick." She brushed a piece of hair from her face, her eyes meeting mine. "And it sounds like he's been sick for a while. Apparently he was diagnosed with pancreatitis about a year ago. And I guess it's really bad. And nobody knew, you know? And yesterday afternoon his neighbor found him collapsed on the driveway. He had an attack or something, and they rushed him to the hospital." Her voice wavered and I watched as Jasper reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. She looked over at him as she continued, "He was supposed to stop drinking, and he didn't stop drinking. And he didn't tell anybody and I guess he hasn't even been working. And I guess when he stopped working all he did was drink and… well, now he's in the hospital. They don't think he'll even make it through tonight." Her voice was bitter and her hands shook as her eyes filled with tears. "I mean, I know I didn't see him very much but he's my uncle. Carlisle's just a wreck and Edward – god, you just know Edward's going to blame himself. And I just…" She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and took a deep, shaky breath. "I just don't know. And… and he didn't even tell anybody," her voice was bitter. And she didn't even attempt to wipe away the tears anymore. She leaned into Jasper's side and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight.

I closed my eyes and my head fell back against the couch. I blew out a long breath. And just liked that. I was crushed.

"Merry fucking Christmas," Emmett said sourly.

"Pretty much," Alice sniffled. "God, how terrible is it that all I really want right now is a fucking drink?"

I snorted as I lifted my head, wiping my own tears with the sleeve of my hoodie. "Tell me about it."

And then suddenly we were fucking laughing and crying over a man that we hardly knew because we didn't know what else to do. So Emmett went to the kitchen and brought back a bottle of whiskey and passed it around. And at seven a.m. on Christmas morning, sweet little Alice was the first to take a drink, straight from the bottle.

I stared down at my hands as Jasper passed the bottle back around to Emmett, the room silent. And it was like in the blink of a goddamn eye, I felt miniscule. Selfish. Because for the past six months I'd been moping around in this dark pit of despair when in reality, my problems were nothing. Nothing.

I, of all people, should have known that there are much worse fates than heartache.

I felt like I was slowly waking up from a long, deep sleep. And I hated that this was the thing that finally made me snap out of it.

It made me sick and god, it made me want to make it better.

I didn't look up as I spoke. "How is he, Al?"

"Edward?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

She just kind of shrugged and slowly shook her head, "I don't know. I think he was just in shock when he got the news... And then he took off right away. He got a red-eye last night after we got the call and I haven't heard from him yet. Carlisle and Esme got a flight out this morning. And I…. I don't know. I'm scared." She looked up at me, her eyes wide. "I don't want to lose him, Bella."

And I knew she wasn't talking about her uncle.

Her voice was quiet, her lips almost moving silently. "I can't do it again."

"He's tough, Alice," I said softly. "He'll be okay."

"No." She shook her head. "It's already starting. I can feel it."

I stared at her. Feeling nothing. Feeling everything. I wanted to help. I needed to help.

But would he let me?

After everything?

"So what are you going to do?"

"That's why I'm here." Her lips moved slowly. "I want you to come with me Bella."

I didn't look around me, I didn't look at Jasper, I didn't even think. I just knew.

"I'll go pack."

x.x.x

I never realized how many people get on a fucking airplane on Christmas Day. It was busy at the Vancouver International Airport. It was quiet and sleepy but busy. Unfortunately, the people around me had much happier destinations in their future. The little boy parading around in a Disneyworld or Bust t-shirt with his happy, smiling family should have made me smile. But I only wanted to yell and scream and tell him how full of disappointment life is, and to never, ever leave Disneyworld. Dress up like Aladdin and live there forever – where it's always safe and happy. Where the princess always gets her prince. Where the good people never die and the heroes never have to hurt.

And as I sat with Alice, waiting impatiently for our plane to board, I wished the bars were open because I needed a fucking drink.

"Having second thoughts?" Alice looked over at me, trying to be funny even though we both had too much on our minds to be funny right now. Her eyes were red and her skin was blotchy and she was a mess. I looked over at her and gave her the finger. Oh, some things never change.

"No."

"All right." I could see her smirking out of the corner of my eye as she sipped her coffee.

Watching her and Jasper say good-bye at the security gate had almost made me cry again. The way they looked at each other… I swear, it was like no time had passed. I wondered when Jasper was going to get his act together and just be with her already. Even if he didn't want to move back to Forks. I mean, if anybody could make a long distance relationship work, it was those two. There was just something about them. It's one of those things you just know.

Jasper had remained quiet as I rushed to pack my bag. He didn't say anything about me going, and for that, I was glad. I didn't know what his thoughts on the matter were. And to be honest, at this point I didn't care. Because if he had asked me to stay, I would have had to tell him I couldn't. It felt good to be making my own decision. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong – just that for once, I was choosing. I was going. Regardless of if he wanted me there or not.

And I'd never been close with Edward's dad – but that wasn't the point. As cruel and heartless as it sounded, I wasn't going there for him. I would be there for his son. Because even if Edward Sr. thought he wasn't hurting anybody by killing himself, I knew he had a son that would care very much, despite anything that had happened between the two of them in the past. And I wasn't going to let Edward Sr. hurt his son anymore.

My hands shook as I looked around the airport, watching the planes charge down the runway. As I stared at the massive, gigantic machines, a new fear began to manifest itself in the pit of my stomach. There was no way something that big would be able to fly. No way it could carry 500 passengers across all the way to Jacksonville. No way.

"Alice?" I asked, my voice shaking with nerves.

She glanced up from the magazine she was leafing through. "Hmm?"

I took a deep breath. "I've never been on a plane before."

She raised an eyebrow. "Ever?"

"Never."

She set the magazine down on her lap. "What about when you moved?"

"U-Haul from Phoenix to Jacksonville," I said, smiling slightly at the memory.

"Well, remind me never to move. Flying's fun. Take-off is like being in a racecar. A giant, flying racecar."

"I… I really don't like driving fast."

Alice laughed. "Relax, Bella. You'll be fine."

I wasn't so sure. I popped another piece of gum in my mouth because Emmett said it would help as we started our ascent into the sky. I didn't see how gum would keep me from losing my shit, but hell, I'd try anything at this point. I wished I'd at least had the foresight to pop some Gravol or something. But that's one of the things you tend to forget when you're packing for an impromptu trip to go console your ex when his father's about to die. Whatever. I would deal.

Alice turned to me. "Is it weird?" she asked, as a lady came over the intercom and called out numbers to a flight that wasn't ours. I triple checked my boarding pass just to be sure.

When I was certain that we were, in fact, not boarding the flight to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, I asked, "Is what weird?"

"Going back there? To Jacksonville?"

I blanched. My stomach fell to my knees.

I was going back to Jacksonville. That hadn't even sunk in yet.

I looked back up at her, eyes wide. "Uh, yeah. Really weird, actually. Thanks for the reminder."

Alice smiled sympathetically. "Sorry. I figured you would have put that together already. But… why is it so weird?"

I rubbed my temple as I chewed my gum. "Just… a lot of memories in that city. I mean, it's not all bad." I sighed. "But still. I've been running from that place for almost six years. Kind of makes it a little strange to go back now. And for him." I smiled to myself, shaking my head. "I'd still do anything for him."

"I know you would."

I looked over at her, my voice hardly a whisper. "He doesn't know I'm coming, does he?"

She shook her head, hesitating before she answered. "No… not exactly. But he's going to be so glad you did, Bella. Trust me."

And man, I hoped she was right. I hated that this was the reason I was going to him. But the second Alice asked me to go, I knew I didn't have a choice. I wanted to. I needed to.

Even if he told me he didn't want to see me, even if he yelled at me and told me to go home, I was going to do this. I had to.

"This doesn't feel real," I admitted, chewing my thumbnail. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe I'm about to get on a plane. I can't believe I'm going back there, and I'm going to see him… and his dad… his dad's going to die. It shouldn't have to be like this. It's not right. "

"No," Alice agreed. "It's not right. But our plane's boarding." She got to her feet and slipped her magazine in the bag slung over her shoulder. She nodded towards our gate, gate 23, and the slow, sleepy line of people waiting to pass through. "So are you going to do this?"

I took a deep breath. And I was running, and maybe it went against my nature, and maybe it was the wrong direction, but for the first time I was running to him. And that had to count for something.

"Yeah." I got to my feet. "Let's do this."

x.x.x

Florida felt different.

The air was too heavy. The sun was too bright. There were too many people. Too many faces. Too much happening. The smells in the air triggered memories I forgot I even had. I hated it. I wanted out.

Alice, on the other hand, looked like she was in paradise. She shoved her bulky winter jacket in her bag the second we stepped off the plane, pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes and raised her face to the sky. I remembered when I used to feel that way about this place. But that was a long, long time ago.

I kept my head down at we hailed a cab, too afraid to see something that would remind me of the things I didn't come here to think about. I was here for Edward. Not to chase down long forgotten memories. Alice rode in the cab with her nose pressed to the window, and I buried my face in her magazine. And I could do this.

But when we pulled up in front of Jacksonville Memorial Hospital, I realized it would be harder than I thought. My breath caught in my throat as I stared up at the building and handed the cab driver our fare. I hadn't expected this place to be so much the same. I hadn't expected to remember that night like it was yesterday. And when I woke up this morning, I had not expected to end up here.

But this was it. There was no going back. I had travelled completely across the country in less than one day for this. I had gotten on a fucking airplane and I had survived. And now, I had to face this whether I wanted to or not.

And the tears were already rolling down my face long before I even saw him. This place, these halls, the memories. I felt like I was reliving the night I almost lost Jasper, and this was the place Renee and Phil would have come to, had they made it that far. I followed Alice into the elevator, and when the doors opened we passed by a desk. But I wasn't really seeing anything. I felt like the walls of the city were closing in around me and maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this was a very bad idea. I didn't even bother to wipe my tears and I didn't see anybody until I saw him.

He was slouched in a chair, in a small, empty waiting area. He had his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. And he was right there and this was real. I didn't realize Alice had stopped and it was just me. My heart was in my throat and my head was too light. Everything was wrong but I had never been more okay with that. I neared him with shaky steps. And when he looked up, finally, I was right there.

Christmas trees. It was the only thing I could think. His eyes… they were the color of Christmas trees.

I dropped my bag to the floor and he just blinked up at me like he didn't believe he was really awake. His face was expressionless as he watched me.

He looked so different. He had shadows under his eyes and a thick beard that wasn't simply a result of the news he'd received last night. Hell, if I could have hidden behind a beard for the past six months, I would have done the same thing. But he was still beautiful, even through the pain.

When he didn't respond after a moment, I bent down in front of him and touched his knee carefully. "Hey," I said softly, kind of afraid of startling him.

He finally moved. His hand slipped to mine and his fingers curled around my hand. "Bella." And the sound of his voice when he said my name almost made me crumble all over again.

And before I could move or react, he was on his feet and I was in his arms and he was holding me so tight I thought I might break. And my arms found their place around his middle and I tried to break him too.

"Bella. Jesus. What the hell are you doing here?" The relief in his voice almost made me want to laugh. But I couldn't laugh when I could feel the dampness on my shoulder. And I couldn't laugh when he was hugging me so tight I could hardly breathe. And I couldn't laugh when this was why I was here.

"Alice came," I tried to explain, my voice muffled by his chest. "And I couldn't say no, Edward. I had to come."

"You didn't have—"

"Edward, just shut up and let this one go, okay?" I interrupted, and his laugh was choked by his tears.

He held me tighter. "Okay."

"Thank you."

His head was ducked down, his face buried in my shoulder. I pressed my forehead against his shoulder and just fucking held him. And at that point, I don't think there was anything in the world that would have made me let him go.

"It's so fucking good to see you," he said. His body trembled against mine. "I just can't believe you're here."

"Where else would I be?" I said, trying with all my strength just to keep him together.

He let out one small laugh. "I truly don't know, Bella."

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"Don't," he said, and he was right. Not the time nor place for apologies.

When he started shaking so badly I feared he wouldn't be able to stand any longer, I finally loosened my grip and took a step back. He stared down at me, his eyes wet and he just looked so damn grateful. And I was so glad I was here.

He slowly lowered himself back into his chair and I went to go take the seat across from him. But he reached out and grabbed me by my hand, gently tugging me backwards. He pulled me into his lap and said, "I'm sorry. I just really fucking need you right now."

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about how amazing those words sounded. "Okay," I said, and I ran my fingers through his hair and then rested my head against his. "I'm here."

"Thank you," he said softly.

"Of course," I said. And for a moment, it felt like Alice and Jasper – like no time had passed at all. And it was nice – comfortable. Because no matter how many times we tried to fool ourselves the truth was that we still needed each other.

Thinking of Alice, I lifted my head and craned my neck, glancing down the hallway as I looked around for her. But she was nowhere to be found. I assumed she'd probably gone to find her parents. Because she needed them and they needed her too.

"So how is he?" I asked gently, my hand rubbing slowly up and down his back.

Edward let out a long breath. "He's… I don't know. He's still here. I guess right now that's the main thing." His voice sounded dull. Defeated.

"Is there any chance…?"

"No."

I blew out a soft breath. "Oh."

"Yeah. It would have been nice to have a little time to prepare, but whatever. That's my dad for you. So fucking stubborn."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"It's fine, really. I'm just sick of being here already. I've been sitting with him all day and I needed a break. And then I came out here and realized I didn't have anywhere to go."

I shifted on his lap. "Do you want to go grab some coffee or something?"

He shook his head. "If I have any more coffee, I'm gonna climb the fucking walls. Maybe… do you want to go for a drive?"

I hesitated. "What about your dad? Are you sure you want to leave him?"

"The doctor doesn't think he'll even wake up again now. At this point… we're just kind of waiting for him to… you know." He shrugged and his gaze got lost somewhere down the hall.

"Edward…" my voice trailed off and I put my hand on his arm. "Don't you want to be there?"

"Honestly?" He looked down at me, the answer written all over his face.

I took his hand and got to my feet. This is what I was here for. "Then let's go."

x.x.x

I wasn't surprised when Edward parked his rental car down by the pier. I didn't even know if it was intentional that he ended up there or if he just… ended up there. And as I got out of the car I was amazed at how much the same everything was. It was quiet because it was Christmas and all the shops were closed, but there were a few families down on the beach, enjoying the sun. And I felt myself grinning when I noticed that Flavors, the ice-cream store that Edward and I used to frequent, was still in business. I just wished they were open and we could go in and say hi to Amor. What I wouldn't give to hear him call me his little ganda again. That alone would have made this trip worth it.

Edward and I made our way down the beach until we found ourselves under the pier, back in our old spot. And it was so natural to take this walk together – picking our way across the sand. He would wait for me to slip under the old wooden beams and then follow me until we were hidden away under the pier. I took a seat in the sand and looked around me. There was new graffiti scribbled in different colors along the old wood and a few pieces of garbage here and there, but otherwise it was the same. And it was the first time since being back in Florida that I felt like I was home.

"I can't even remember the last time I was here," I breathed.

Edward ran his fingers through the sand. "Last time I was here I was wasted." He shook his head. "And I was looking for you. But you were long gone…"

"I'm sorry," I offered, but he waved me off.

"You're here now. That's what matters."

"I'm glad you think so," I admitted.

He cocked his head to the side. "Why do you say that?"

"Well… I guess I was afraid you'd think I was only here because of your dad. Or that'd you wouldn't want to see me and you'd be mad that I even came at all. I don't know if I still have a place in this part of your life… I guess I just didn't know what to expect." I let out a long breath. It felt so good to get that off my chest.

"Then why'd you come?" he asked, his words gentle. I could tell he wasn't trying to be mean; his voice was genuinely curious.

I shook my head slowly. "I guess… I just didn't care. In my mind, it was where I needed to be. And here I am."

His face lifted up into a half-smile. "Honestly, it never even crossed my mind that you'd be here. I mean… not that that's a bad thing. I was just surprised. Not mad. Definitely not mad. It's just… it kind of sucks that this is the reason I'm seeing you again, you know?" He looked over at me like he was sorry for having to say it.

"I know," I said softly, closing my eyes as I spoke. "Trust me, I know. I just felt like suddenly you were going through something, through pain and loss that wasn't caused me or our… our ridiculousness. You're going through something real, something I've been through and I thought maybe this time I could help… I needed to do something. Because the thought of you hurting, Edward, it still kills me inside. But you have every right to ask me to leave. This is about you and your family and not me and my guilt, or whatever this is –"

"Bella," he interrupted me, his voice quiet. I opened my eyes and looked over at him, my lip between my teeth. He lifted his lips into a soft, reassuring smile. "Stop. Of all the people that have come here today… well, you were the only one I wanted to see. You're the first one that made me smile." He looked at me, and his smile grew slightly. "And yeah, maybe the fact of the matter is that it sucks that this is the reason I'm seeing you again. I wish you could have come back on your own terms and I wish it was easier to know what you being back here meant."

"You and me both," I said softly, blowing out a long breath. Because, shit, I'd been trying to stop myself from thinking about just what in the hell this all meant since I stepped foot out my door this morning.

He was silent for a moment, though I could feel his eyes on me, trying to read me, trying to figure this all out. "I just never thought you'd come back here," he said finally.

I shrugged lightly as I looked over at him. "I never thought I'd have a reason to."

And we just looked at each other, and I wondered why in the hell I ever left in the first place.

"So how are you doing, Edward?" I asked. "Really?"

His jaw hardened and he looked down. "I don't even know. I feel like I haven't even had time to process everything. It just all happened to fast. Thanks for that, Dad." His voice was understandably bitter.

"You're sure you don't want to get back there though?" I asked. "I don't want you to… I don't know. I want you to be able to say good-bye."

"I said good-bye to my father years ago."

"Edward…"

He rolled his eyes. "If he really wanted me to be there, he would have let me know. But I guess he and my mom are more alike than I thought – suffer in silence and all that bullshit. And it doesn't matter anyway. I know the bastard will hold on long enough so that I'm there to see him die." He paused and he drew in a deep breath.

"I mean, it's not even that I don't want to be there. I just… I can't see him like that. I can't deal with the consequences of his mistakes. And I shouldn't have to. I'm his fucking son – he's the adult. He should have known better. He would have been better off to just put the fucking gun to his head."

"Edward," I said gently, reaching for his hand. "I really am sorry."

He flipped his hand over and laced his fingers through mine, squeezing it gently. "So am I, Bella."

I pulled my knees into my chest and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Off in the distance, the sun was getting lower and lower in the sky. I took it in with surprise. I had no idea it was so late. I was about to suggest that maybe we head back when Edward shifted in the sand beside me.

"Hey, so I heard Emmett and Rose were at your place last night," he said.

"Yeah," I said, turning to him and trying to pretend that it wasn't weird to be talking like this. "But I'm sure they headed out by now. Alice is getting them to dog-sit for you guys."

He nodded. "Yeah, I figured. So where…" his voice trailed off, and when I looked over at him, he wouldn't meet my eyes. And I knew what he meant, and I knew what it was like to ask questions when you truly didn't know if you wanted the answer.

I watched him for a moment and then decided. I was here. It had to mean something. "Just outside Vancouver," I told him. "Jazz and I are renting a condo."

"That's great," he said but his voice lacked enthusiasm.

"Yeah," I agreed, but what it sounded like to me was, "I miss you."

We fell silent. I stared out at the waves as they rolled into shore. I watched the family out on the beach, snapping pictures as they splashed through the surf. I shook my head. Tourists. I watched the birds in the sky, flying high and diving low as they played in the ocean breeze. But what I didn't watch was Edward, because I couldn't. Because I didn't even want to guess what he was thinking right now. Because I didn't want to let myself go there. Not now.

Finally, he turned to me and broke the silence, "Bella, can I be honest with you?"

"I'm still wearing your shirt," I blurted out.

He raised his eyebrows, clearly taken aback. "Huh?"

"Your shirt. I spilled soup and Alice gave it to me. Before I knew you were, well, you." I smiled, unzipping my hoodie. "I'm still wearing it. I mean, I've taken it off since, but right now I am."

He cracked a smile. "Jesus. There's something wrong with you, you know that?"

My head bobbed as I leaned back and traced shapes in the sand. "Yeah."

He laughed and god, it felt good to hear that.

"You can't avoid this forever, you know," he told me.

I smiled. "Yeah, I know." Then I turned to him, "Hey, Merry Christmas, by the way."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, not so much."

I shrugged. "It was worth a try."

He smiled as he watched me, and his hand found mine again. His fingers slid between mine and he pressed our palms together. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

And together, on that Christmas Day, we sat in the sand under the pier, in a place I never thought I'd ever be again, and watched the sun set.

x.x.x

Edward Cullen Sr. passed away that Christmas at 11:07 in the evening. And just as Edward had predicted, he waited until his son was the only one present in the room before finally letting go. Alice, Carlisle, Esme and I were all downstairs in the cafeteria, eating soggy pasta and pasty tomato sauce, joking about how brutal a Christmas dinner this was, when Edward found us. And by the look on his face we knew it was over. And after that everyone was just… tired.

Edward insisted that every come back to his parents place. And we were just too exhausted to argue. So we piled into the vehicles and I drove Edward, who hadn't slept in over 36 hours, in his rental car. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice followed behind in the vehicle Carlisle had rented. Edward was fast asleep in the passenger seat before I'd even paid for parking. I navigated the Jacksonville streets with surprising familiarity and soon we were pulling up in front of Edward's parents house. Which, technically, was probably his now.

And again, I was back at a place I never thought I'd see again.

Even from the outside, his house felt the same. It was a classic Victorian style house built sometime in the early 1900's. The house and been remodeled and renovated throughout the years, but still emulated the charming, sophisticated vibe of homes from that era. A long white porch ran across the front with thick rectangular columns that supported the overhanging veranda. The windows and doors were trimmed in white and the siding was a dark brown. And apart from the slightly over-grown grass in the front yard and the lack of flowers lining the front porch, everything seemed the same as I had left it over five years prior. It still managed to blow my mind how some things could manage to remain so unchanged while the world spun wildly around them.

Once we made our way inside, Edward flipped on a few lights, pointed people in the direction of bedrooms, and practically face-planted on the couch. He was asleep within minutes. Esme covered him with a blanket and put on tea as she wandered around admiring the architecture and interior designs. I stayed up with her mostly because I needed some time to process this clusterfuck of a day. I meandered around the house with my cup of steaming Earl Grey, looking at pictures and smiling at old memories. The house smelled the same and felt the same, and for once, I was okay with that.

By the time I was ready to turn in, all the guest rooms in the house were occupied. And as I crept into Edward's old bedroom and closed the door silently behind me, I realized that maybe I had wanted it this way. I sat on his bed, looking around and breathing in the old memories. The gold comforter was still spread smoothly over his bed and I lay down slowly, staring up at the ceiling. If I closed my eyes I was there – sprawled out on the bed listening to Free Bird for the first time, dancing around the carpet and singing to every song that came on the radio, stretched out on the bed, bodies tangled in the sheets, kissing like we fucking invented it. I was beginning to realize that very few memories about this place were bad ones. I was beginning to discover that there were a lot of memories I'd forgot I wanted to remember.

I laid there, my eyes closed and my mind in another time, and I didn't wake until well into the next day. And it was in a place I hadn't considered home in a very long time that I had the best nights sleep months.

x.x.x

The next few days were busy with funeral arrangements, going over the will, and visiting with relatives. I decided to stay until after the funeral just so I could help out and be there for Edward. Not that I saw much of him. He and Carlisle remained locked in the study as they worked out the details of Edward Sr.'s last wishes. Though lucky for them, Edward Sr. was not only well prepared for his death but was also a lawyer, so it seemed that Edward and Carlisle's task was not as complicated and stressful as it could have been. Though it didn't help to quell all Edward's frustrations as a new complication or aggravating request seemed to pop up almost every hour.

"Ugh! Are you fucking kidding me!"

Esme, Alice and I all looked up when we heard Edward's frustrated cry and then the sound of something heavy hitting the ground. These angry outbursts had become common around here over the past few days. We exchanged looks that simply said "what now?" But judging by the sounds of the heavy footfalls coming towards us from the study, we were about to find out.

"He wants me to keep the house," Edward spat, joining us in the kitchen where he paced in a frantic circle around the hardwood. He tugged at his hair, looking around at us like he wasn't really seeing anything. "Keep the house?" he spat, "Is he fucking mental? I mean – seriously – seriously? Jesus." With that he spun around and stomped back to the study. I looked up at Alice and Esme and tried not to laugh.

"Well, at least there were no great aunt Charlotte's around to witness that one," Esme smiled.

I rolled my eyes. There had been a steady stream of friends and long lost relatives coming by the house, all offering their condolences, hugs, cards, flowers, and food. Oh god, the food. There was so much food.

"Can't we take great aunt Charlotte home with us?" Alice pleaded, turning to her mother. "I really liked her. She's got a great eye for fashion, that one."

"Great eye for fashion?" I snorted. "I didn't even think they made hats like that anymore, Al." I giggled, picturing the giant wide-brimmed hat that aunt Charlotte had been donning when she burst through the door. The hat was swathed in tulle and smothered in flora and feathers and had to have been out of fashion for at least a hundred years. And I was certain there was a terribly old, antique umbrella out there somewhere that matched it. I could just imagine aunt Charlotte strolling down the Chicago streets, sipping sweet tea and twirling her lacy umbrella like she was from 1907 or something.

"They don't," Alice sniffed. "That's why the woman has class."

"Or she's delusional," Esme countered. I leaned over and high-fived her across the counter.

"How am I even your daughter? You guys have zero taste," Alice groaned, crossing her arms over her chest and turning away from us.

I sat back in my seat and Esme and I grinned at each other. There hadn't been one single time over the past few days that I'd felt out of place being here. I had been worried that it would be really weird being here, staying with them. I didn't want to be an imposition, especially considering what they were all going through right now. And I definitely didn't want to make the week any more awkward and tense than it already was. But everybody had been so welcoming and accepting of the fact that I'd come. Almost freakishly so. They were good people. They were amazing people. And I couldn't believe I had almost forgot.

Esme bossed me around like I was blood-related and the relaxed smile on Carlisle's face every time he emerged from the study made me feel as if he were truly grateful I'd come. As strange as it was, I felt like family. Mind you, a lot of it might have been attributed to the fact that I'd hardly had any alone time with Edward. At all. Obviously he had enough on his mind as it was, and there was no way I was going to be one of his frustrations. So when he looked up at me from across the table at dinner, I smiled. If he needed a hug after dealing with another carload of old family friends, I gave him one. I was there. He needed me and I was there.

It was almost like we were living in our own little twilight zone, where the past six months had never even happened. The angst and the loneliness had been swept away by an event so much deeper. Tragedy had brought us together, at least for a little while. But I was afraid to think about what would happen when reality finally set it.

Whatever happened, I knew things would never be the same again.

So I was going to keep on living in this strange little bubble for as long as I could.

x.x.x

So... strange little bubble or are our dear Edward and Bella finally growing up? And did you expect to find either of them back in Jacksonville again? I can't wait to hear your reactions. I have a feeling that 27 is going to be huge... ;)

Thanks for reading!