The Future is in Our Hands
The inner workings of Seele are known by only a handful of people. Not even Gendo Ikari could tell us the politics or logistics than transpire amongst the those men who cloud themselves in mysteries and shadow. For some reason, only five members stood in for this meeting, which concerned the most vital issue since their founding that needed to be dealt with.
"The incident," a man with a pointed nose and spectacles began, "is far diverged from our scenario."
A fellow member, heavier and mustached, but also bespectacled, responded, "The true path must be redeemed."
"Was it not," questioned a hard jawed man with flowing, white hair, "an error from the beginning to give Nerv to Gendo Ikari?"
"Perhaps," the chairman said earnestly, "yet we could not have realized what we have without him."
A man with an equally pointed nose, and slicked back hair, looked over the papers in his hands. "This goes beyond the matter of Eva Unit-01, which seems to be in the sole command of Ikari's son."
"Indeed," continued the first man, "The loss of Unit-00 is acceptable, but Unit-02 remains damaged and its pilot incapacitated."
The second man spoke. "The facilities greatly damaged: central dogma exposed: if a true attack were to manifest itself, Nerv would be destroyed, and the scenario fulfilled too soon."
"The list grows long. We cannot even measure the amount of money and time that has been lost: all because we did not keep a bell around Ikari's neck."
"No, the bell was there– it just did not ring."
"What is the point of the bell, then?"
"Rather than ring," the chairman concluded, "We shall have it strike."
Misato was standing next to two LCL tanks, miles below the Geofront. Dr. Akagi sat behind her, scribbling something on the medical clipboard. "I surprised how well this is working on their wounds. When was Nerv gonna share the benefits of LCL treatment with the rest of the medical community?"
Ritsuko didn't look up from her clipboard, but answered Misato amicably. "It's still theoretical. It works on Rei, who is biologically human, but who, as a Coralian, has a unique relationship with the primordial matter." Anticipating Misato's argument, the Doctor continued. "It works on Shinji because his wound were covered and bonded on the cellular level with the Scub."
"Hmph," Misato turned back to look at the two pilots, suspended in separate LCL tanks, blissfully unaware that four days had passed since Rei awoke to see Shinji in misery above her. "Still. . .It's hard to imagine Rei being pulled from the Scub. Who was it that found them again?"
"Vice Commander Fuyutsuki," answered Ritsuko, still writing on the clipboard. "Apparently, Rei was already passed out, from blood loss, with what looked like chemical burns on her back. Shinji was carrying her through the hallways, and mumbling something like apologizes: saying 'She told me not to leave her. . .I had to get her away from it.'"
"Will they have any scars?" For the first time, Ritsuko looked at Misato, putting her clipboard down, and taking her glasses off to rub her eyes. "Shinji won't. The Scub seemed to actually heal his wounds. On some level, the same is true for Rei, but she will have some discoloration and elevated skin on her back– nothing too severe. Like I said before, the LCL will help."
"How much longer will they be?"
"I told you not to come till four," the Doctor sighed. "It will be another hour."
Misato sighed back. "I'm gonna get some food. Want anything?"
"What's the news on Kaji?"
The Captain stopped in her tracks. "If he isn't dead," Misato said coldly, "then he soon will be." She entered the elevator, and in a second was gone.
Shinji awoke at around 7 p.m., feeling better than he had in his entire life– though awful hungry. He got up easily, and walked out of his room. He looked up and down the hall, half expecting to see Rei staring out one of the large windows. But she wasn't there.
"Shinji? What are you doing up!" Shinji turned to see Misato running down the hall toward him. "Are you alright, Shinji? What do you need?" But before he could answer, Misato threw her arms around her. "Oh, Shinji, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this. I didn't mean for you and Rei to–"
"Misato, stop!" Shinji put his hands on her shoulders and slowly pulled her off. "I'm fine! I know, Kaji told me. You were right: we're in this together. I won't run away anymore: not from my father, not from Nerv, and certainly not from myself." Misato was in shocked silence. "I promise," Shinji finished with a not-too-genuine smile on his face.
"Ok," Misato muttered dumbly. She wiped her eyes and stood upright. "Is there anything you need? Anything I can do? Oh– Rei's just in that room at the end." This time, they both smiled.
"Eto. . .just, something to eat–Ah, for me and Rei."
"Sure," Misato said happily. "I'll send two trays up to Rei's room." Shinji blushed. "See you at home, then?"
"Yes," Shinji said firmly, assuaging Misato's fears that he might actually not come home. She walked away, and Shinji walked toward the last room at the end of the hall.
Fuyutsuki was sweating, standing next to his seated companion, who's head was heavily bandaged. The Vice-Com. broke the deafening silence. "It seems that you have never been fighting against fate. Fate is on you side. . .Lucky for us, but it makes your accomplishments that much less impressive."
"It has not always been so," Gendo declared. Their minds drifted back ten years. . .to the loss of Yui, whom they had both loved. "Fate has a firm grip, and powerful arms; but man has still the power to defy and overcome that fate."
"Free will? Can such a grace truly exist?" Fuyutsuki sat opposite Nerv's commander. "What will you do know that Seele is at the gates, and the last Summer of Love is ready to begin?"
"They must take that step which the previous King and Queen did not, before going to the other side of the Zone." Fuyutsuki looked at Ikari with disgust and shock, but the Commander continued." Their union will mean salvation for us all."
"You mean your salvation," corrected Fuyutsuki. "You are many thing, Gendo Rokubungi, but you are not a humanitarian." He did not respond.
Shinji opened the door slowly, and sure enough he found Rei asleep in her bed. There were no bandages, or bruises, but Shinji knew that her back must bear the scars of the Scub Coral. He looked across the room for a chair, and, finding one, brought it to her bedside and sat down.
Shinji sat looking at Rei, sleeping peacefully, for some time, not knowing that Rei had been awake since Shinji entered. Misato came with the food, and Shinji ate greedily, all the while contemplating whether it was worth it to wake up Rei.
For her part, Rei thought that the smell of food was a good enough excuse as any to reveal her consciousness. Convincingly, she made a few groans and slowly stretched her body, as if shaking of the stiffness of sleep. "Ah– don't move, Rei!" She reacted instantly to Shinji's voice, and stopped moving. Slowly, she turned her head and opened her eyes to look at Shinji. His face showed nought but concern.
"Shinji," Rei said and smiled. This made Shinji blush, but Rei was to elated at the discover that she didn't need a reason at all to smile at Shinji.
"Don't force yourself, Rei," Shinji urged. "You've only just woken." But Rei was as lively and well enough to move around as Shinji was when he first awoke– and equally as hungry.
"Is it time for dinner?" she asked innocently.
"Oh! Right," Shinji looked back at Rei's tray of food. "You must be starving, I know I was. Just wait a moment." Rei watched patiently as Shinji retrieved her tray, placed on her bed, and repositioned himself near where her head lay. "Try to sit up a bit– eto– here I'll help you move your pillows."
Rei needed no help at all, but this feeling was so curious. The attention and care that Shinji was paying her made everything seem brighter– happier. "I-if you l-like, I'll...help you eat." Shinji's stuttering and blushing only added to Rei's glee, and she was glad that Shinji wasn't looking at her face when she turned beat red.
"Yes, please," she replied quietly. The rest of Rei's meal was spent in silence. Shinji cut up her tofo– the Nerv staff obviously knew that Rei didn't eat meat– and served her entire dinner in manageable bites. Once in a while, Shinji and Rei's eyes would meet, as Rei bit down on the spoon that Shinji held out for her food. The two would stare at each other for a few seconds, till Shinji looked down at the plate to scoop up another bite.
Afterwards, Shinji cleaned up their meal, left it outside the door, and Rei snuggled back beneath her covers. The sudden intake of so much food– she had eaten all of it, fed from Shinji's hand– made her uncharacteristically lethargic; but she wouldn't sleep. Not yet. She had promised herself that, if they ever saw one another again, she would tell Shinji.
"It was good, wasn't it, Rei? I mean, for hospital food, anyways." Rei nodded. Shinji, not wanting to ruin the mood, but desperate to know, decided to bring up the one question that they had to talk about eventually. "Rei. . .what was that? What are you?"
Rei was mortified. Her smile melted, and her body crumbled. Shinji looked straight at her, but she couldn't meet his gaze. She pulled the covers over her head, and turned away on her side, hugging her knees.
"Rei, don't..." Shinji pleaded. The sadness in his voice made Rei break out of her self-pity. She hated that sadness. He was happy a moment ago: they both were. Why did she have to be different? It wasn't fair.
"The fifth time," Rei said loudly enough for Shinji to hear her through the covers, "I was beyond happy. I felt complete. Shinji. . .I felt real for the first time in my life."
The covers were pulled back just enough to show Rei's face, and Rei turned to face Shinji in surprise, her face streaked with tears.
He put his hand to her cheek, and wiped them both gently. He repeated her own words, "Don't cry. . .Don't look so sad." Rei sat up, hugging the sheets to her chest. Shinji sat next to her, upon the bed. He was smiling. "You don't have to say anything. You don't need to talk about it, now. I don't care, Rei. It's true: I want to know everything about you, but I've made my decision either way. I'm going to protect you, Rei– and Asuka, Dewey, Misato, and everyone else."
Rei swallowed her tears, and threw herself onto Shinji, who caught her in his arms. Rei cried harder than she had when she was alone on her bed. "Don't leave me! Shinji . . . don't go, please! I want to be with you, always! I want to be close to you! I– I–"
"I love you, Rei." She stopped crying, and Shinji immediately regretting saying those words. They had slipped out effortlessly without any conscious thought. He had never said those words before, and yet he carelessly tossed them out now while he held Rei in his arms.
Rei pulled away, hiccuping now, in place of her tears. She looked into Shinji's eyes, and he looked back, disgusted by his carelessness. "Rei, I don't. . .I don't know if I can ever love you–" Shinji stopped at the look of heart break on Rei's face, and, for Shinji, time stopped.
He had realized then what had made him say those three words: he wanted to stop Rei crying. And that same feeling– when he saw the misery in her face– roused inside him, urging his body to move. He closed the small distance between Rei and himself, and pressed his lips against hers.
Rei's eyes stayed open, for the second or two that Shinji had his lips over hers; but as he pulled away, she closed them both in hopes of savoring the sense of touch left upon her lips. She heard Shinji speak, and opened her eyes slowly.
"I can't trust my feelings," Shinji explained. He put his hand on his heart, and spoke again. "They change too often, and I can't promise that what I feel for you will last." Shinji placed his free hand on top of Rei's right. "But I will love you. I will protect you. I will not leave you."
"Shinji," Rei smiled sadly. "I will love you, too," she put her arms around Shinji, and kissed his neck. "I do love you." Rei squeezed Shinji, who squeezed back, so tightly, Rei thought that, from lack of breathe, she might die happy in his arms.
'Know what do I do?' Shinji thought. He couldn't stay like this much longer. He had confessed and kissed Rei in one day: that was more than enough. Anymore, and Shinji thought he might scare Rei away, or do something– *gulp*– compromising. "You– we should rest now, don't'cha think?"
Shinji pulled away, and made to get off the bed. He had one foot off the bed, when a tug to his arm made him fall back, face up on the bed with his legs dangling off the side. He was looking up into Rei's eyes. Her face was red.
"Stay with me," Rei commanded. Shinji nodded dumbly. She lay down, separating her two pillows– one for Shinji, and one for her– and airing out the blanket so it could spread over two. Shinji laid down slowly next to her, pulling the blanket over him and hoping that Rei had enough to cover herself.
Apparently, she did not. The two pilots lay back to back: Rei was pressing her's against Shinji's. Shinji lie awake for some time, when he felt Rei seize his hand that lie upon his hip. Shinji intertwined his fingers with hers, and the two fell asleep together. No one, including Dr. Akagi, and especially Misato, had the heart to wake the two, who slept till morning.
Both pilots woke early enough for a late breakfast. To Shinji's great discomfort, every Nerv personnel seem to think that Rei holding hands, and smiling so often, was more important than their respective jobs. Rei, on the other hand, barely seemed to notice them. She had eyes only for Shinji.
Following Shinji's desire to know everything about her, Rei talked quietly, though incessantly, about herself– starting from as far back as she could remember. She spoke an awful lot about the Commander, knowing full well that Shinji wouldn't particular like hearing about it. But Rei thought it important that Shinji know why she held such affection for the Commander. He had taught her how to live, and– until Shinji– why she should live.
When they were finished with breakfast, Rei took a hold of Shinji's hand once again and said, "I want to show you some place."
"Ok," Shinji said happily. And Rei led him out of Nerv HQ, onto the Geofront, and across the decimated landscape. Near are far corner, where the destruction did not reach, and the river running through the Geofront seemed to empty into a small lake, or large well– no doubt the beginning of several underground streams– the two stopped at an outdoor chapel, or something of that sort.
The building lay at the end of peninsula-like walkway that extended to the middle of the still water. The small steepled hut was lined with benches, and a cross protruded from the middle of its floor. At the doorway, Rei relinquished Shinji's hand, and walked serenely toward the cross.
As she turned to face Shinji, Rei said, "This place is a chapel, built when the second branch of Gehirn was first established here." Shinji didn't leave the doorway. "People were down here so long, working on the construction of all that lays in ruins around us, that, naturally, co-workers began to fall in love and get married. They built this chapel here to celebrate the marriages, and be wed in a ceremony."
"I don't think," Shinji said nervously, "that we'll be here that long. This will all be over before we're old enough to. . ." He stopped there, seeing Rei's blushing countenance, and too embarrassed himself to go on.
But Rei continued. "This," Rei ran her hand over the cross, "is a symbol from an ancient people. They believed that marriage bonded two people together." Rei's hands met and intertwined. She looked longingly at Shinji, "Two flesh becoming one."
Without realizing it, Shinji had drawn closer and closer to the center, toward Rei and the cross. If he only reached out his hand, he could touch her. Rei kept her hands together and closed her eyes, like she was praying. Shinji closed the distance between them once again, and kissed her lips. This time, when Shinji began to pull away, Rei leaned forward and offered her lips again. Their bodies didn't touch, only their lips, and their tongues. They stood together, joined tenderly, kissing passionately for a time. Nothing else mattered.
When they both drew apart, Rei took a step forward, and Shinji enveloped her in his arms. She spoke, "When I went into the Zone alone, I thought I might never come back. The Scub Coral asked me to become one with them. But I didn't want that. I wanted to come back. . .Shinji," and Rei broke from his arms to look him full in the face. "I want to become one with you."