I Run to You

by MidnightTrain

For five years, Bella Swan and Jasper Whitlock have lived as carefree vagabonds. In an old Mustang, they roam from town to town across the country. But they are broken; and they are running. So what happens when the past catches up to them? All-human. Complete.

28. It Has to End to Begin

Chapter 28: It Has to End to Begin

You will wait for me my love
Now I am strong
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am home.
My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, I'll be with you.

Sia – My Love

x.x.x

Bella.

The next morning, I woke up to my alarm. I wanted to wake up to Edward's body pressed against mine, to his voice in my ear, but instead I was alone and the alarm was screaming at me from the nightstand and already I didn't want to go.

But I had a flight and a suitcase and a job and a life that I had to get back to. For once in my life I had somewhere to be. People that needed me. So I pulled the sheet around my body and rolled out of bed. Edward's clothes were in a pile with mine on the floor and last night was real. I bit my lip as I smiled down at the clothes.

It was real.

"And what are you so happy about this morning?" I looked up to see Edward waltzing in the door with nothing but a towel around his waist. And maybe if the man walking through that door was a little scrawnier and a little cockier, we could have been sixteen again.

"It's nothing, really," I said, trying to fight the smile on my lips. "I just had the strangest dream last night."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, grabbing his boxers from the floor and pretending to be uninterested. He glanced at me over his shoulder, his eyebrows raised. "Giant penis's again?"

"Actually, no," I grinned. "Quite the opposite, actually."

His eyes widened and he clutched his chest in mock offense, dropping his towel to pull on his boxers. "You really know how to kill a guys confidence, Swan."

I blinked at him innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about. I was dreaming about miniature vaginas. What else could I have possibly meant?"

"Funny," he said dryly.

"I thought so." I slid from the bed, grinning as I bent over my suitcase and pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. As I stood he came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me back into his bare chest and I tipped my head back, leaning against his shoulder as I let out a soft sigh. There were no words. Simply he and I, two people changed irrevocably, back in a place where it all began. In boxers and a bed sheet. And I never thought I'd be here again.

"It's too bad your flight's so early," he murmured softly, his lips grazing against my bare shoulder. "We could have gone for ice-cream before you had to leave."

I rolled my eyes as I turned in his arms so we were face-to-face. I raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I'm sure there will be plenty of time for that later."

"Whoa, get your head out of the gutter, Swan," he said, holding up his hands and grinning as he took a step away from me. "I meant we should go see Amor. But now that you mention it..."

I shoved him half-heartedly as I moved to get to the bathroom. "Sorry, Cullen. I have a flight to catch, and somebody already kept me up half the night with their insistence for ice-cream."

"Hey, I didn't hear any protests."

I paused at the bathroom door with my hand on my hip, my tongue running over my lips as I faced him. "Oh those were definitely not protests," I said coyly.

"That's what I thought." He shook out his wet hair, pelting me with water droplets. I stifled a shriek, not wanting to announce to everyone in the house that Edward and I had obviously spent an eventful night together in his old bedroom. I gave him the finger as I slipped into the bathroom and dropped my clean clothes on the tile floor. He stopped the door just as I was about to close it and he stuck his head through the crack, nudging it open farther with his hip.

"Hey, Bella?" he said, his expression suddenly serious. His head was ducked down so his gaze was level with mine.

"Huh?"

The corners of his mouth lifted up into a smile. "I love you."

I felt his words in every part of my soul. It was old but it was so, so new. And I smiled and it was real and it was huge. "I love you too, Edward."

x.x.x

Edward went downstairs while I showered. I dried off and got dressed quickly, throwing my damp hair up in a bun at the top of my head and stuffing the rest of my belongings in my bag. I swung the bag over my shoulder as I exited the room, hardly casting a glance behind me to insure I hadn't forgotten anything. I stood at the top of the staircase in the midst of an almost silent house. It was early, too early for the rest to be up. I could hear Edward making a bit of noise down in the kitchen and I wanted to do nothing but rush down there to join him, but I found myself hesitating slightly as I began to descend the stairs. My feet seemed heavy, like they knew every step they took was one step closer to leaving. It would be one less step I'd take with Edward, here, together.

But the second he appeared at the bottom of the stairs and his reassuring smile caught my eye I knew there was nothing to fear. And I knew, without any words, that he was trying to tell me it was okay. Maybe it would be the last steps I'd be taking here, but it wouldn't be that last steps we'd be taking together. And that, well… that was more than okay.

"Hey," he said as we met at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey," I replied, and I was sure the smile on my face matched his when he leaned down and kissed me. When he pulled away I let out a long, happy sigh.

Yep, still more than okay.

"So, you all ready?" he asked.

"Yeah." I set my bag down on the floor as my gaze wandered slowly around the room, trying to absorb everything about this house before I had to leave it for the last time. "I know it's crazy, but I'm actually going to miss this place," I told him.

"Me too," he agreed, much to my surprise. "It's something you don't think about as kids – you know? You just assume this place is always going to be here, that you'll always have 'mom and dad's house' to come back to. It'll be weird when it's gone."

I turned back to him, watching him carefully as I spoke, "Are you sure it's what you want, though? You could always keep the house. I mean, that's what your father wanted—"

He shook his head, quickly cutting me off. "No. My life's not here anymore. Some things… you just have to let go of."

I shrugged and then continued looking around. I could feel his gaze on me, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why… you don't think I should keep it, do you? I mean, do you want to stay here Bella?"

My first reaction was to laugh hysterically. But… I didn't. I watched Edward cautiously for any signs that he had been kidding. I found none. I floundered for an appropriate response, the enormity of what he was asking not escaping me. Suddenly, with those simple words, a life in Florida with Edward by my side didn't seem too out of reach.

I wondered if he was thinking the same thing as he watched me. Maybe he was trying to decide whether or not he was serious. Maybe I was trying to decide the exact same thing. And I don't know exactly what it was that made up my mind, but I finally felt myself shaking my head.

"No," I said. "I like Forks. I think… it's where I want to live, eventually. I think I belong there. I think we both do."

He grinned and I couldn't help but notice the relief that washed over his face at those words. "If you're sure," he said, leaning in to kiss me.

"I am," I murmured, my eyes meeting his as our lips parted. And I was hardly sure about anything. And as the moment passed us by, I found myself laughing. "You really would have done it, wouldn't you? You'd keep the house and live here if that's what I wanted."

"Of course," he said earnestly. "I would never make my father's mistakes."

I laughed again as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "And neither would I," I said, pressing my lips to his cheek.

He tilted his head and kissed me once, hard. "And that's why I love you."

I just smiled at his words as everything I ever wanted hung in the still air between us.

"So this had been, like, the weirdest Christmas ever, right?" I asked, my lips still brushing his as I spoke.

"I've had worse," he said, his eyes downcast. I felt him stiffen in my hold, and I knew his thoughts had shifted back in time, alone in his apartment, higher than the damn Space Needle, living off god-knows what. This Christmas that very well could have been his last if not for a ringing phone and a knock on his door that would turn his scary little world right-side up. I tightened my hold around him, holding him there, my body absorbing the sudden weight of his own. And he hugged me back harder before relaxing his hold and leaning back on his heels.

"So, look," he said, his voice suddenly hesitant. "Don't be mad. But I kind of got you something."

"You got me something?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow and watching him skeptically.

"For Christmas," he elaborated. I grew even more disbelieving and when he noticed, he laughed. "Okay, maybe I came across it the other day, but I was thinking it would make a nice belated Christmas present."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." He smiled and began digging through his pocket as his spoke. "I know you don't really wear jewelry, but I was hoping you'd wear this." He drug his fingers from his pocket and held out his hands, slowly uncurling his fingers as something dropped from his palm and swung between us. It was a chain, a thin golden chain, and slipped through the chain was a small golden locket. He held it closer from me to inspect.

"I found it the other day when I was going through some things. It made me think of you. My mother got it when she was just a little girl, and I think I can speak for both of us when I say I want for you to have it."

I stared. I wasn't sure if I was about to cry or beat him to a pulp for offering me such an invaluable gift. But when I looked up into his face, and oh god, the look on his face… I couldn't say no. I couldn't say anything really. But I felt my face break out into a sad smile as I reached out and let the locket lay in the palm of my hand.

"Edward…" I said, choking back a sudden onslaught of emotion. "It's beautiful. But are you sure… you want to give this away? It must mean so much to you."

"Bella, what am I going to do with it? Wear it?" he smiled lightly, motioning for me to turn around. I complied hesitantly and he slipped the chain around my neck. He leaned in as he fumbled with the clasp, his lips right by my ear. "And you mean so much to me. So please, just tell me you'll wear it."

"Of course I will," I said, blowing out a soft breath. My fingers sought out the oval locket that lay against the base of my throat. Edward continued to fumble with the clasp and he swore under his breath as he dropped the chain against the back of my neck.

"Um…" he said, clearing his throat as I giggled. "I can't…" He gestured to the chain and I laughed again, taking both ends in my fingers and I turned and made quick work of the clasp as I secured the two ends together. He rubbed his neck awkwardly as he watched me, a look of complete bewilderment on his face. Then he just shook his head, like there were just some questions better left unasked. I shrugged as I held back my laughter. Women had to remain mysterious to men somehow.

"Anyway…" he said, clearing his throat again. "I got something inscribed inside for you. I thought you would like it… I don't know. Maybe look at it when you get on the plane or something."

I was blinking hard as I looked up at him, smiling. And when he noticed my expression his eyes seemed to glaze over a bit too.

"My mom would love to see the look on your face right now," he told me, officially making it nearly impossible to hold myself together.

"Thank you, Edward," I breathed.

"No, thank you." He leaned in, kissing me softly. And then, before either of us decided to get all weepy, he subtly changed the subject, "Now, are you hungry? I make you some breakfast."

I lit up. "You cooked?" I asked in awe.

"Um, no." He laughed and stepped to the side, gesturing to two bagels sitting on the counter behind him. "The toaster did most of the work."

I grinned, playing absentmindedly with the locket around my neck. "Ah, give yourself a little credit. Spreading cream cheese properly can be extremely difficult. Getting just the right amount in just the right places," I teased, my eyebrows raised. "And look! You managed to hunt down some strawberry – my favorite. Bravo, Edward. Bra-vo."

"Oh shut up," he laughed, nudging me with his hip as he pulled out a chair for me to take a seat at the island. "Smartass."

I giggled and then proceeded to make a big show of mmm-ing and ahh-ing as I ate my breakfast. I was only trying to be funny. Apparently, my humor affected Edward in ways I hadn't expected. Or maybe it was all the moaning as I licked pink cream cheese off my fingers. Regardless, before we'd finished eating he had me pinned up against the tall counter and we were licking the remnants of cream cheese from the corners of each other's mouths. And I was moaning against his lips and this time it had nothing to do with strawberry-favored spread or toasted bagels.

"You know we're just making it harder on ourselves," I gasped when he mouth moved to my neck. My head was tilted back, my chest heaving, and Jesus fucking Christ, I was going to go home with a hickey.

He laughed at my unintentional innuendo and then so did I. "You know what mean," I giggled, my fingers tangling in his hair.

"I don't think it could be any harder," he spoke against my skin, a smile on his lips.

"Edwaaaard," I groaned, my head rolling to the side. We were going to be late. If I had it my way we would be very, very late. Hell, maybe I'd miss that plane all together. Worse things have happened around here.

x.x.x

We weren't late. Actually, we left for the airport earlier than scheduled. Halfway through eating our breakfast-slash-devouring each other against the kitchen counter I worked up the courage to ask if we had time to make a quick pit stop before he dropped me off at the airport.

And somehow the little jerkoff knew exactly where I wanted to go.

Maybe it was my nerves that gave me away. Or maybe he'd been expecting it all along. But it didn't stop me from shooting him strange looks when he placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek, shoved the rest of his bagel in his mouth, grabbed one of the dozens of bouquets of flowers currently cluttering his counters, threw my bag over his shoulder, and headed out the door.

"Edward!" I called, still adjusting my shirt as I came half-laughing half-stumbling out the door behind him. He already stood at the passenger side of his rental, the door wide open for me.

"Come on," he said, nodding towards my seat. "We're going to be late."

"What. Wha – how...?" I sputtered, still watching him strangely as I dropped into the seat.

"Lucky hunch," he grinned. He waited for me to pull my legs out of the way so he could close the door, shrugging nonchalantly when I began shaking my head at him. I was still shaking my head when he made his way around to the driver's side and started the engine.

"I think you're just anxious to get rid of me, Cullen," I said when I was finally able to look at him with anything but disbelief.

"What? No," he said, looking truly offended. "I just… didn't know how much time you'd want to spend there."

"Well… thanks," I smiled, settling back into my seat. Then I looked over at him, narrowing my eyes she he stepped hard on the gas and we went racing down the quiet street. "Seriously, though. How did you know where I wanted to go?"

"I told you – lucky hunch." He shrugged as he reached for his cigarette pack.

"Oh yeah? And if you're wrong?" I challenged.

He glanced over at me, grinning. "Don't worry. I'm not."

And he wasn't

Edward.

We really only made small talk as we raced down the freeway. The roads were fairly deserted; it was still too early to hit the morning rush hour. The city felt empty, unchanged by our presence. The city didn't care whether we stayed or left. I kept the window rolled down even after I put my cigarette out. The air here was heavy. I could feel it on my skin, weighing me down. I wished it were enough weight to stop her. But even if I could hold her here, what would I do? She had to go. She had to fly.

She had to fly high, free bird.

She was leaving and for the very first time in my life I had time to prepare for that. Maybe not much time, because up until yesterday morning the prospect of her heading back north hadn't even crossed my mind. I don't know what I was thinking – I guess I hadn't been thinking – I was too busy savoring her presence to even entertain the notion that soon she would be gone. Maybe we hadn't had a lot of time alone in the past week but even just the smiles across the table and the simple hugs when I needed them the most meant the world to me. But I had twenty-four hours to gear myself up to say good-bye. And just because I was trying to be mature about all of this didn't meant I had to like it.

And really, the only thing I wanted was just a little more time. And we could have it, if we really wanted it. I was sure she could push her flight back a few days, but deep down I knew that for those extra few days she would stay, I would be busy as hell. I had a house to sell and belongings to go through and a life and a business that I had to get back to in Forks. I told myself we were doing the responsible thing. I just hated how wrong it felt.

And maybe it was kind of poetic how we'd be saying our last real good-bye on the last day of the year. The future was so uncertain, but I already knew the only thing I needed: she loved me. She needed me. And someway, somehow we were going to make this work.

I was used to missing her. And hell, maybe I was better at missing her than I was at being in a relationship with her. But I didn't want to have to miss her anymore. And last night hadn't changed anything – I still felt the same way about her as I did a month ago, and I still felt the same way about her as I did seven years ago. I loved her. And there would never be a day in my life when I didn't love her.

And she was right – we'd messed up so much in the past. We had been too busy fighting each other to even consider that we were going to have to fight for us. Maybe it was because we both grew up with our lives handed to us. Or maybe it was because we both truly bought into the whole 'meant to be' bullshit and never saw a reason to push against it. Never saw a reason to try and change it. We accepted our fate without blinking an eye. But it wasn't chance that brought us together. It was choice. And I was done with making all the wrong ones.

Maybe a few very lucky twists of fate had reunited us, but we were going to have to work to keep it together. And I didn't care what it took. I was ready.

I was ready to give her everything. And maybe that's all we needed from the very beginning.

And as I looked over at her sitting next to me in the passenger seat, all smiles and brave, I knew that no person would ever walk this earth more perfect for me than her.

She had come here for me. But this, right now, was for her. And I would hold her like I would have the first time she came to this place. I would hold her like I was making up for lost time and all the mistakes of the past. I would hold her like I never wanted to let her go again.

And I wouldn't.

x.x.x

Bella.

The car rolled to a slow stop, the tires crunching on the gravel. I drew in a deep breath as I looked around. I hadn't purposely been ignoring where we were. Just… distracted. Composing myself. Truthfully, I was aching to see them. I had been well prepared to never come back here again. But as soon as the notion passed through my mind, I realized I couldn't be this close without saying hello. And I couldn't get on that plane without saying good-bye.

After he put the car in park, Edward twisted around to grab something from the backseat. When he turned back around he placed the flowers he'd grabbed from the house onto my lap.

"I didn't know if you wanted to have something…" his voice trailed off and I could feel his gaze searching my face.

"Thank you," I breathed, my fingers wrapping around the stems of the flowers. I blew out a soft breath and looked over at him, and I let myself get lost in his eyes, if only for a moment. Then I leaned over and stole a quick kiss, and he kissed me back, so soft, so gentle. "Thank you," I repeated as I pulled away and my hand found the door handle.

As my feet travelled across the gravel and then the green grass I could feel him behind me, every step of the way. And didn't even realize I'd remembered my way to them until I had stopped moving and suddenly I was there. When I found the courage to look up and struggled to read the names chiseled into the smooth stone, I realized I was crying. And as soon as I became aware of the tears, I couldn't stop. It seemed that sobs that had been building for five and a half years began wracking my body, and before I knew it I was on my knees in the grass and the flowers were on the ground on one side of me and Edward was on his knees on the other.

I cried for them like I had never cried before.

Maybe it was because I never thought I'd be back here. Because even after I jumped on that plane, after I stood across from Edward in the cemetery while he buried his father, even after I let go of my fears and let him in, I never saw myself here. I didn't want to come back here because there were no good memories about this place.

Except for the memory of the two people who lay buried beneath the ground I knelt on. So I let myself get lost in that. The memories that brought me here. The moments that made me the person I had become. The music festivals at the park. The stepfather who had fit into our lives like he'd belonged there all along. The mother who opened her house to an abandoned son. Swimming pools and sunburns. Dinners at seven and baseball games and burnt lasagna with double the cheese. I love you's and a guitar and iced tea on the hottest summer days. The look in a mother's eye when a little girl asked about her dad. Books for Christmas and learning how to cook and forts in the living room and the insistence that everybody should learn how to drive a stick. Moving and redecorating and then redecorating again. Birthdays and pizza nights and sleeping in and board games. Growing up and a mother who soothed a broken heart with pounds of milk chocolate and the promise that everything works out in the end.

And as I knelt at their graves I found myself wanting to share every moment of the past five years with the two of them. I wanted them to witness everything that I had seen, and wanted them to know what I had been doing and where I was going and I wanted them to know every single thing that I had felt.

But instead, I told them the only thing that really mattered. "I'm okay," I said, my voice downing in tears. "I'm okay." I'd loved and I'd lost and I'd fallen countless times. I'd travelled and I'd laughed and I'd laughed and I'd lived and I'd seen things I never thought I would. But most of all, I was here and I was okay.

And I fell into the arms wrapped around my shoulders and let him hold me. Together, we huddled on the ground in the calm morning light. All the things I wanted to tell them escaped me. But maybe, just maybe, if they were watching, they'd know. They'd see the way he crushed me against him, the way he silently begged me to share the burden, they way he looked like his heart was aching simply because he saw mine was. If they could see this, they'd know.

I was loved.

And I was lucky.

Before we left we decorated their graves with the flowers. And as I turned to leave, I paused and I pressed my fingers to my lips, waving a sad good-bye to my parents. And my parting vow was a whisper but it was everything.

"I'll be back."

x.x.x

Silence.

It's the one thing worse than screaming.

Silence says too much. Silence gives you away. And it was silent in the car and it was silent as we parked and it was silent as I checked my bag for my flight.

Silence.

It can drive a girl mad.

And I mean, no, it wasn't completely silent. There was small talk. There was a small discussion on how much the Jacksonville radio stations had changed. There was the pointing out of a small restaurant that we used to love to go to that was now torn down and replaced by a shiny new car dealership. There was a small moment of panic when I thought I'd lost my passport but really… it was all just noise.

And silence.

And now, we were standing at security and my bag had been whisked away by some conveyer belt that disappeared through a mysterious tunnel and promised to meet me when I landed.

I checked the time. I looked up at Edward, who was watching me with this strange intensity in his eyes that made me want to just grab him and throw him down, right here.

"Um…" I began, looking around. "It looks like my flight is on time. But we've got a little time. Want to get some coffee?" I offered, and then laughed awkwardly because I was certain I'd consumed my weight in coffee the past week.

"Do you want some coffee?" he asked, looking amused.

"No, not really."

"Hungry?"

"I'm good."

He chuckled. "Then… what do you want?"

I frowned as I looked around me, as if the answer was hidden somewhere in JAX. It wasn't until my gaze found his again that I realized what I was looking for was standing right in front of me.

"I want to stay here."

"Here? In Jacksonville?" He looked surprised.

"No. Like… here. In this moment. Edward," I let out a long, deep breath, "I don't want to get on that plane and lose this. I don't want to lose this. Not again."

He smiled, taking a step towards me and cupping my cheek in his palm. "Bella," he said softly, as he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear, "I am sick and fucking tired of losing people I love. And… and I don't care what it takes – I'm not going to lose you again. I promise."

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice rising in hope.

"Yeah."

I smiled as his fingers wound themselves in my hair.

"I know where to find you now, Bella. There's no hiding from me now."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I vowed.

"But let's do this the right way."

"Is there a right way?" I almost laughed.

He shrugged. "Maybe not. But let's get to know each other again."

"Okay," I agreed. "My favorite color right now is green. My toothbrush is blue. I haven't had a cigarette in five months. I don't know what my favorite song is right now, but I'm sure I'll have a new one by tomorrow. Every song I love reminds me of you. I didn't hate Jacksonville, but that's probably only because you were here. I came here for you. Most of my socks are white but I don't know why I buy white socks because they always get so dirty. I don't own a pair of mittens, but I really need to buy some. I hope that Jasper got me mittens for Christmas. I never got to open my Christmas presents. I don't like to wear shoes. I never had braces on my teeth. I adore this locket and it's killing me not to look and see what's inscribed inside. I love having my own closet, but I'll share. And I love you." By the time I finished, I was breathless.

He laughed, his smile wide, the corners of his eyes crinkled up at the edges. He was smiling with his entire face; he was smiling with his entire body. "I love you too," he said softly, and he leaned down and kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he nudged my bag off my hip, pulling our bodies flush against each other as the kiss deepened. We probably kissed for too long, considering we were in public. But we were at the airport gate and I was pretty sure that's standard. And also, I didn't give a fuck. Because I was kissing Edward fucking Cullen.

When we finally broke apart, we were both flushed and gasping for air. I looked up at him slowly as I tried to collect myself. He smiled down at me, his thumb grazing ever so softly over my bottom lip. And I couldn't believe I was about to get on a plane and go home like everything had happened.

I tried to remember a time when good-byes were the only thing I'd been really good at. When leaving people behind had become as natural to me as breathing. But I couldn't remember it, not with him here and a plane waiting to take me away.

He spoke softly, "I'm selling my father's house. I'm selling the house and I'm coming home. Where will you be?"

"I'll be waiting," I said simply.

"Go back to your job. Go back to your life, Bella."

"But you are my life."

He smiled as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. His fingers trailed down my hairline to the back of my neck, where they ghosted over the long-healed tattoo. A permanent part of me that belonged to him. But not the only part of me that belonged to him.

"You love your job."

"But I love you more," I said firmly. I wanted him to know that I would give it all up for him. In a second. I would leave it all behind.

He shook his head. "No more running. There are people there who need you. And you can't leave Jasper there. Not yet."

And I wanted to pout, I wanted to object, and I wanted to tell him Jasper would be fine without me. But I knew he was right.

"The timing isn't perfect," he said. "But it never is."

"So what do you want, then?" I asked, shaking my head. Because I couldn't do this – I couldn't be away from him. Not for that long.

"I want to help Alice with her business. I want to go to school. And I want you, Bella." He lowered his face to mine until our foreheads were touching. His fingers trailed slowly up and down my neck. His voice was a whisper, "Can I have it all?"

"Yes," I breathed, because he could have anything. "I don't want to cry over you anymore, Edward. I don't want to hurt anymore unless it's from loving you too much. But will you love me in a year? In two? Will you love me if you have to wait?"

He smiled like it was funny. He tilted his head back and looked down at me. "I've loved you for seven years, Bella. And I will still love you in two. And I will still love you in fifty-two. Never, ever doubt the way I feel about you. Never. Yes, I may have hated for you some things, and I am man enough to admit that. But that was when I was battling my own demons, and I had no one to blame it on but you. I couldn't own up to the fact that I fucked up and I'd lost control of my own life, and my own self. I know that now, and I also know it's something I can never take back. But trust me, Bella; my feelings for you have never changed. My love for you has never changed. Never wavered. You are permanent in my life. Even when I thought I'd lost you forever, you were still here, in my heart. You're the reason why I can't love any other girl. You. Because you are the only girl I will ever love. You're the one I am meant to love. You made me believe in destiny, and because of you I have faith. Faith that we can do this – that this can work."

He lowered his face to mine, our forehead's touching. "You've saved me so many times, Bella, and you don't even know it. And I love you so much, more than words can even express. I am alive today because of you. I am here, holding your hand, touching your face, because of you. You saved me, Bella. So never doubt this. Never doubt us. And never, ever doubt how much I fucking love you. And will always love you."

By the time he finished speaking, I was sobbing. The universe around me had shrunk down so small that he was the only one I saw. He was my world. I loved him so deeply that it hurt. But this was pain I could live with.

This was pain I couldn't live without.

x.x.x

---

Just so I don't throw you guys off too much, Bella DOES get on the plane and Edward stays behind to sell his father's house. And what happens after? Do they end up making it work? Well… I guess we shall see. Next chapter jumps through time a bit more, and I'm pretty excited about where we land.

I promise that all the questions you have after reading this chapter will be revealed within the next two. I won't leave you guys hanging when this all wraps up.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'm sorry I was so terrible at replying to reviews last update – I'd send you all two replies this time if stupid ff'n would let me ;)

Thanks for reading!