No Such Duel
Chapter 1: The Calm Before the Storm
It was afternoon, in the city of Royal Woods, Michigan, and a certain large family were gathered at the softball field to cheer on one of their own. Lynn Loud Jr. was the star athlete for the Squirrels, but like her previous game, she was tanking hard. Anytime she came up to bat, she couldn't hit one of the balls. And whenever she pitched, the opposing team always got a home-run. In the end, it was the opposing team that came out victorious.
"Hey, chin up Junior, you'll get'em next time," her father Lynn Sr. said, trying to comfort his athletic daughter.
"That's not going to help Dad. I'm Lynn Loud Jr! I'm supposed to win!" Lynn argued, stomping her feet angrily.
"Now Lynn, no one likes a bad sport," Luna said.
"Who cares about good and bad sports!? All that matters is winning!" Lynn snapped.
"That's enough Junior," Rita scolded. Lynn just huffed, as the entered the parking lot. And, much to their horror, they saw the family station wagon, Van-zilla, as they called it, being towed away.
"Hey wait! That's my car you're towing!" Lynn Sr. said, running towards the tow truck.
"Sorry sir, but this van is parked illegally," the truck driver said, showing them a sign that said "No Parking Anytime."
"That wasn't there before!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed.
"That was then, this is now. Of course, if you want to show me the paperwork, I can let you folks off with a warning," the truck driver said.
"Of course, let me just..." Lynn Sr. said, trying to find his keys, but came up empty handed, "Uh, honey, do you have your keys?" Lynn Sr. asked.
"We don't have spare keys," Rita stated. Lynn Sr. walked over to the window to see the keys were still in the ignition.
"Dang it! I left the keys in the ignition!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed. The Tow Truck Driver didn't seem convinced.
"Uh huh, sure you did," he said, as he got in his truck, and drove away, with the van, much to the family's dismay.
"Man, this stinks," Lana grumbled.
"Well, walking is still good for us, and we do a lot less damage to the air, right?" Leni asked. The others wished they could feel uplifted by the ditzy blonde's optimism, as they trudged through the streets, back to their house.
Meanwhile, in another section of Royal Woods,
Lincoln Loud was sadly walking along the streets. His family had just banished him from his home, on account of their belief in him being "Bad Luck". Man, did Lincoln now hate that stupid phrase. Almost has much as he hated his stupid sister Lynn for giving him the stupid idea of spreading a lie about bad luck. Lincoln couldn't believe his family. Sure he may have lied to them, but was that still an excuse for kicking him to the curb? Lincoln was still in his PJ's, as he was still walking. Unbeknownst to him, his luck was about to change for the better. A cop car was driving around. A cop and a detective were making their rounds, when they saw the boy. The detective was middle aged with blue eyes and blonde hair. His attire consisted of a traditional trench-coat and pork-pie hat. The cop was another middle aged man, who looked a bit younger than the detective. He had blue eyes and blonde hair as well. Both of them almost immediately recognized Lincoln.
"Hey, isn't that Lincoln?" the detective asked, seeing the boy.
"I think you're right, Ross. But why's he out on his own? And in his Pjs no less?" the cop asked.
"I don't know Randy, but something tells me I won't like it. Let's see what's up," Ross suggested. Randy took his brother's advice, and drove on up to the sulking boy. Randy then honked the horn, catching the young boy's attention, "Hey Links!"
"Oh, hey Uncle Ross, Uncle Randy," Lincoln said, lacking any enthusiasm. Both cops could tell by their nephew's tone that something was amiss.
"What're ya doing, wandering around in your PJ's like that?" Ross asked. Lincoln clenched his fists and teeth in anger.
"My 'family' is why," Lincoln replied bitterly, trying to remain respectful of his Uncles. They may be family, but they were also cops.
"C'mon, we'll take you down to the station, and you can fill us in on the details," Ross said, as they let Lincoln into their patrol car.
"Thank you both," Lincoln said.
"Don't worry about it," Randy replied, as they drove off. But all the while, the two uncles couldn't help but wonder why Lincoln wasn't with his family.
Later, at the Police Station,
"Alright Lincoln, now, can you tell us exactly what happened?" Randy asked, as he gave his nephew a doughnut.
"Well, it was like this," Lincoln said, as he began to explain his situation to his uncles. The scene then relocated to the outside of the police station.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" the screams of both Ross and Randy were so loud, it caused birds to fly away, and some of the nearby passersby to flinch. Inside the station, the other cops looked startled. Even the big boss was stunned.
"So, let's see if we got your story straight. Junior forced you to go to her softball game, then pinned her loss on you, which then gave you the idea to use her irrational superstitious behavior to get free time, which eventually led your family, your parents included, to bar you not only from your own room, but your house itself?!" Ross yelled in outrage. Lincoln flinched, but remained composed.
"Basically yeah. It was a really stupid move on my part, and you know what? I wouldn't be surprised if they sold off all of my stuff!" Lincoln practically screamed, no longer able to control her anger, slamming his fist on the table, "I wish there was a law against that kind of action!"
"There is," Randy replied, which got Lincoln's attention, "You're a minor, Lincoln. That's someone under the age of 18. Locking our a minor is a serious offense, punishable by some serious jail time. And something as ludicrous as 'bad luck' is NOT an acceptable defense," he explained.
"Don't worry Lincoln, we're going to get you some serious justice on your family, and give Junior a serious dose of reality," Ross added.
"Only problem is, Royal Woods is a big place. Even with ever patrol car on the streets, finding them will be like finding a needle in a haystack," Randy replied. Then, Lincoln got an idea, one so brilliant, it couldn't possibly fail.
"I think I have an idea on how we can get my family to come to us," Lincoln stated. His uncles gave him their attention.
"And what might that be?" Ross asked.
"You guys know how much my Dad absolutely HATES Duel Monsters, right?" Lincoln asked.