Chapter 3

**Thanks so much to those who are reading. I have never done this before so it is very scary. Please review if you have time. **

The next morning was hard for Louisa. She could hardly stand to say goodbye to James Henry and tears poured down her cheeks as she walked down the hill toward the school. But she dried them with a tissue before stepping in the door and going through her day. Of course, every villager who saw her, and quite a few seemed to be dropping their children off inside that day, wanted a word about the goings on of the day before.

For his part, Martin felt relief, peace and also great turmoil. How could he straighten all of this out? He was used to an orderly life and now everything was in a "kerfuffle" in the words of that idiotic Dr. Dibbs. He knew now, deep within himself, that all he really wanted was his family. He just wanted to be where they were. He wanted to be different from his own father, but didn't know where to start. He wanted to be a surgeon too but he knew that Louisa would never be happy away from the sea, away from her beloved Port Wenn, and he would never be happy taking her away from that, even for a short time.

Well, he would have to get through the day and talk to Louisa about it all later. He still had a few weeks until he was due in London and he would just have to figure something out. Wait! THEY would have to figure something out.

He had only a few appointments that day that Morwenna could not rearrange and luckily James Henry either slept or sat fascinated with his baby animal mobile during those. He really was an easy baby for the most part, Martin thought. At least now that he was sleeping more. Once, Martin glanced over at him while he was sleeping and thought, Oh God, please let those ears stay as they are, like Louisa's.

When it was time for school to be out, Martin put James Henry into his buggy and began the walk down the hill. He let Morwenna go home a bit early - she was thrilled - and decided to go down and meet Louisa. They could either go and buy some groceries or have a meal out, he would let her choose. She seemed to enjoy that, he reflected.

On the way down the hill, a few of the villagers of course had to stop and glance in at James, adding in their words of wonder at what had "gotten into" Mrs. Tishell. The wrong combination of drugs, he thought! Why did everyone always have to be in his business? A little voice in the back of his said told him softly that maybe it was because they truly cared about his son. Funny how that voice sounded like Louisa. He shook his head and continued down the hill.

When he got closer to the school's entrance, she came out, closing the gate behind her. When she saw them coming, her eyes widened and she began to run, her ponytail swinging to and fro very quickly with her movements. "What's wrong?" she exclaimed. Martin stopped pushing the buggy and raised his arm. "Nothing! Nothing! Sorry. Didn't mean to give you a fright. All is well. We just thought we would come to meet you and give you the choice - greengrocer's and cook at home or Large Restaurant?

Louisa broke into the sunniest smile that Martin had ever seen. "Greengrocer's and eat at home with my favorite fellows," she said as she tickled James' tummy.

"Fine then, let's go" said Martin as he grabbed her hand with his left and continued to push the buggy with his right.

Later, after James was in bed and Louisa and Martin had talked with a few possible caregivers, they sat facing each other on the couch in the surgery's living area. "I suppose we need to talk about London, Martin," Louisa said, expelling a deep breath. "You are to be at Imperial in 12 days, right? "Yes, said Martin and I think that Chris has my replacement ready to come in during the following week. I had planned to keep the surgery at present, and just rent it to the new GP, a man this time."

I know that performing surgery again is important to you Martin and you have put off beginning for quite a while," said Louisa. "And I did promise you earlier that I would go with you. But, I have to be honest and say that I wasn't really looking forward to it. And the governors haven't yet found a replacement for me so I can stay here and work, but I don't want to if you aren't here with me," Louisa said quietly.

Martin paused for thought. So what did this mean - does she want to go or stay? What am I supposed to say? "Well, I...," he started and then stopped. "I don't quite know what to say, Louisa."

"Tell me how you are feeling Martin. I want to know what you are feeling, not just what you are thinking. That is the only way we will ever sort this out," she said.

How I am feeling, Martin thought. Feeling. Always that word - feelings. Couldn't we just be logical? "Louisa," he began, "I am not really sure what you mean. Shouldn't we just lay out the good and bad of each and then make a logical decision? I know that you want to stay here and I appreciate that you want to be with me and I have already said that I want to be with you, so can't we just make a list and figure it out that way?"

Louisa sighed. "No Martin I don't think we can. Something as important as both our careers and where we will bring up our child has to involve the depth of feeling. Sometimes you can add up all of the scores and still not make the right decision. I mean, what was it that you told me Joan had said about us once? That we were chalk and cheese? If you made a list about us, would it add up to staying together? I don't know, but it seems it is what we both feel in our hearts," she said, unconsciously laying her hand on her own heart as if for emphasis.

Martin frowned. She was right. But he was out of his depth now. "Louisa, I need to tell you, I suppose, that I don't have the faintest idea of how to make a decision this way."

Louisa looked into his eyes. "I think you do Martin. You proposed to me like that and you poured out your heart at the castle yesterday. You just need to do the same now."

"But both of those situations were different. There wsn't really time to plan it out. I just...it just all spilled out," he said.

"Then let it spill out again, Martin. Please," said Louisa. "What do you really feel about leaving Port Wenn and doing surgery again?" Martin thought then frowned again. He closed his eyes and began to speak. "As you must know, Louisa, I really do miss surgery. The small procedure I did for your mother pointed that out to me. But I don't want to make you leave here. I know deep down, if I am honest, that you will never really be happy in London and I can't be happy if you aren't happy. And I guess if I think about it, I would miss my morning coffee with a view of the ocean, the wonderful fresh fish, and seeing your ponytail swing as you walk up and down these hills."

"And the people Martin?" Louisa persisted. "Will you go absolutely crazy and continue to be rude to and annoyed by the people here? Village life isn't for everyone. It even makes me nuts sometimes the way the villagers always want to know everything that is going on. You should have been at the school today. Crazy! Will you be able to have friends?

"Um, Louisa," Martin said, "I have never really had a lot of friends. And Ruth is here. And you. And James Henry of course."

"But Martin, you know that being with me will automatically mean being around Al and Bert, Joe, Caroline, Morwenna, Roger and Maureen,...everyone...you know," said Louisa. "Do they really make you so unhappy?"

"Well Louisa, I have never suffered fools gladly." Martin put up his hand as she began to protest. "But, I guess I can tolerate others more than I do now. I can already tell that I am going to have to do that just by having James. He doesn't always fit in with my schedule. He doesn't even fit in with his own schedule, does he? And I suppose he will have friends as he grows older."

Louisa chuckled. "Yes, he will, and then you will also have to put up with their annoying parents." She paused. "You are being very compromising Martin and I appreciate it, but I don't want you giving in on everything. You may regret it later if you do."

"Louisa, I believe I said yesterday that all I want is to be where you are." His voice softened to that velvet tone she loved so much. "And I meant it. I think, no I FEEL, that we need to be here." He leaned over and gave her a kiss which she returned with a smile. "So, is that sorted then?"

"Well, mainly I guess, but what about Imperial Martin? Is it really a good idea to burn your bridges by just walking out on them?" Louisa asked.

"I have been thinking about that for part of the day today. What I am considering is that perhaps I should call them and try to go up to London for lunch early next week. I would explain what has happened - provided Chris Parsons can let me stay on here after a break - and then offer to work in London until they can find a new man. Does that sound reasonable?" Martin asked.

Louisa bit her lip. "It sounds reasonable to me but what will happen if you go there and start and don't want to leave?"

"That won't happen because you won't be there and so I know I won't want to stay. And to tell the truth, I hope that perhaps they can just go to their second choice and perhaps he, or she, will take the position. That way I wouldn't have to be away so long. I can come home on the weekends and that way I won't be away from James Henry and you so much."

"You certainly seem to have thought this through, Martin. I guess we will have to wait to see what Chris and the people at Imperial will say, hmm?" asked Louisa.

"Yes, I guess so. Come closer Louisa, please," whispered Martin. "You really are so beautiful. Have I told you that enough?"

"No, I don't really think so," Louisa laughed. "You can say that any time - with or without wine."

"I would rather say it without," Martin said.

"Yes, I know - it has such an 'appalling effect on the liver.'" They both laughed. "Good night Martin," said Louisa.

Martin gave her a soft kiss then frowned. "Good night Louisa."