The Runaways – Chapter 21

By MyNameIsCAL

-Iggy's POV-

Fang seemed quiet now. Like I had promised Max, I wouldn't tell them what had been discussed. They didn't need to know anyway. Fang had been afraid to lose my trust and I didn't want to lose his now.

We were in a pretty secluded area. Fang had stopped at multiple places, trying to make the food his was buying not seem like a lot. I wondered how much money he had left, but then it crossed my mind that it was drug money, and I knew asking wasn't a good idea. He had enough to get us a minivan, enough to keep us alive for the past month and a half now. I'm sure if he was running out of cash, he would at least tell Max and me.

But Nudge, well, she always had something to say, and she wasn't afraid to say things, or maybe rather, she didn't really think before she opened her mouth. As we sat at dinner last night, each of us with our own hotdog, she asked, "Aren't we going to run out of money soon?"

I heard nothing and then Fang answered. "No, we have enough."

"Exactly how much do you have?"

"Enough to get us by." Fang gave a short answer. He sounded more tired than annoyed, which in a way, I was thankful for.

"Where…"

I cut her off. "That's enough, Nudge."

She pushed on with another question instead, one that seemed more reasonable to ask. "How long are we staying here?"

"As long as we can." And with that, Fang stood and left us. I heard another set of footsteps go after him, probably Max.

"What's his problem?" Nudge muttered.

"Just leave him alone, Nudge," I said. "He's suffering more than we are."

"No he's not."

And to my surprise, it was Gazzy who spoke up. "You don't have proof that he isn't."

"But you don't have proof that he is," Nudge retorted.

"And if I do?" I interjected.

Nudge finally had to think about what she was going to say. "Then why didn't you tell us?"

"Because it's not for any of you to know," I frowned. "Alright, just leave him alone. He'll tell you eventually, but when he wants to, okay?"

"Alright." Nudge wasn't satisfied with that answer, but Gazzy gave me a more reassuring, "of course," before we went back to eating.

-Fang's POV-

I didn't understand why things were bothering me now about what my father had done to me. After it had happened, I probably should have gotten help. That kind of stuff, it can mess you up forever, I mean, look what happened to my mom. I couldn't save her, so what did that say about me? I couldn't save myself either, so what made me think I could save the rest of them?

I sat away from all of them now, Iggy talked to them quietly, and I got the feeling they were talking about me. Just outside the ring of light from the fire, I sat down, leaning against a rock. Max took a seat next to me, her hand slipped into mine, head against my shoulder. She was trying to get me to relax.

"There's something wrong with me," I said to her.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Fang," she said.

I moved away from Max, standing and making my way to the car. With a swift movement, I slapped the door and wrapped myself in the blankets, trying to fight my tears. Outside I could hear the others, finishing up their dinner. The door to the car opened shortly after, Max coming in.

"Fang…" She closed the door and then lay next to me.

I turned to face her slowly, still trying to hold back tears, but the dam was breaking. "There are thousands…millions…of other guys out there. Why choose me, Max?"

She rested her hand on my cheek, fingertips in my hair. "You know the answer to that already, Fang. Why are you questioning yourself?"

I closed my eyes, tears streaming out. "Because I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to be alive. I shouldn't be leading all of you around, like…like…like I know what I'm doing because I d..d…don't."

"Iggy and the others," Max began. "They wouldn't be alive without you."

"But you'd be better off…"

"Fang…"

"No, you don't get it Max!" I wanted to push her away. "I'm just as bad as my father was. I stole drugs from my mom, I sold them only for her to go buy more, only for those drugs I sold to be given to more people like her! I can't be a solution to anything…I'm going to end up…"

"Don't say that," Max didn't let me finish. "I wouldn't be better off without you."

I laughed in her face, tears still pouring out. "Because being here with me and four other people you only met a month and a half ago is just where you want to be. I almost got you killed."

She shook her head. "I don't care, Fang."

"I'm just going to end up hurting you."

"I know you don't believe that."

"What if I do?" I turned away from her.

Max let out a sigh. Time seemed to go by for a while until she spoke again. "I want you to know something. Actually, I need you to know something."

I shut my eyes.

"No matter what happens," Max rested her hand on my arm. "I need you to know that I'll always be there for you. It doesn't matter to me what you've done. What matters is that you're here now with me, that you are helping us, even if you don't think you are. What matters is that you're alive now. You haven't given up yet, despite what your father's done to you…"

As unclear as my head was, I could tell she meant what she was saying.

"You're just going through a rough time," Max continued. "But things will get better, I promise. We're going to get through this, together…"

I felt like my tears were endless.

"But what I really need to tell you is that I don't regret any of this because I love you, Fang."

It wasn't until then that I realized that it was all in my head, that I was trying to blame myself for something that wasn't even my fault. I turned back to Max, pulling her against me. Through my tears, I managed to reply.

"I…I love you too, Max."

We'll get to some action real soon, I promise. Hopefully Max was able to get to Fang and he'll start to move forward again instead of putting himself down for the things he could not control that happened to him. And you know, I talk like I don't know what's going to happen even though I do know. Heh, yeah, I'm crazy!

Alright, enough rambling from me. Like I said, we'll get to some action in the next couple of chapters. I know it just seems like they're moving from place to place, trying to hide, but they'll face the enemy eventually. Don't worry, I've got plans (I think).

Thanks for reading!