Chapter Ten

Moved to Portland

Seattle, Washington - October 2022

Over the next month Mark continued to live with Callie and Arizona. He was happy, he was thriving on the chase of these women. It's what he'd missed most about people, the thrill of new feelings, new emotions, a bursting level of serotonin when his leg brushed against hers and when he strategically placed himself in her eyeline and winked at inappropriate moments.

Then one day he turned the wrong way on a grocery store run and ended up passing entrance to the cul-de-sac. Meredith and Cristina were sitting on the couches in the middle of the road eating lunch, when Cristina jumped up. What she thought she'd spotted was another person arriving into their little community, when she realised who was sitting in the driver's seat her face fell. "Mer," she said warningly, but Meredith was already excited, she leapt up and was waving her arms around - she even pulled Cristina into a hug, before running towards the car.

Mark couldn't help it, he stopped. He just wanted a glimpse for that small part of him that felt guilty for leaving, that felt guilty for not telling them about Callie and Arizona, but then he was going to keep on driving, he was going to make a U-turn and drive to the grocery store. Pick up some chips and washing powder. But he couldn't. His foot wouldn't move down, wouldn't press on the gas pedal, wouldn't move the car forward. In fact his feet started moving in a completely different direction as he slid himself out of the car. His tread on the tarmac was soft like he was stepping on a child's playground.

He braced himself and walked slowly, Meredith's face turned, it was a dramatic shift from a cheerful, happy mode to a solemn grudge, she turned towards him and stared. It wasn't the face of someone who'd forgiven him. She looked like he'd sucked something core out of her, then he felt ten times worse. Meredith had Cristina at her arm and was turning her head away, she took one more look at him and retreated towards the house, leaving Cristina standing alone, looking after Owen who was tottering around the kitchen of his trailer. Mark took one last look at the house and ran through the whole confrontation in his head before slapping his seatbelt back into place and turning back towards Callie and Arizona's villa.

The next morning everyone was sitting around the breakfast table, Mark was sitting off to one side in a chair abandoned by everyone else, it was only that the room was full that he wasn't strapped to it. He watched as Callie sat and ate cheerfully with the rest of the group, after introductions and pulling out two-in-one couches for the night they'd settled in quite well. Arizona was annoyed that Mark had kept this whole life from them and blamed him. Callie had wanted her to be sympathetic towards him but a part of her felt betrayed too, she'd begun to think he was the answer to all her prayers. That he was the thing she needed to have a child, what's more was that he was nice, or at least she thought he was.

She looked over at him with a melancholy glance but when he chanced a half-smile she went back to eating her toast. Her heart stung a little, so she reached out for the blonde's hand beside her and squeezed, to let Arizona know what she was feeling. For the most point she was disappointed in him, and she felt stupid for falling for it, falling for the perfect situation falling into her lap. But her mind flickered away from it when she looked over at the others, at Owen and Cristina and how happy they looked, how glad she was that people existed again.

"So, you seriously didn't name the cow?" Arizona said, hoping a change in conversation would take Callie's mind off Mark. Also she really wanted to name the cow.

Meredith laughed at this and sat forward, fully engaging in conversation for once, she was glad to have more girly friends. And her pride bloomed at the growth of the community. "We didn't really think of it." She replied, holding her hands up and chuckling at Arizona's quirky nature.

"Well we have to think of something." Arizona added, "I'm thinking Rainbow" - she directed this at Callie by nudging her and giving her best warm smile.

Mark stood on the ledge of the billboard. Spray can in hand, he stood angrily holding the can of paint in his hands. As he lifted his arm to the board and sprayed the first letter in a series of many that would change his fate. He was fed up of new people showing up and spoiling his day, new people that keep not trusting him. He realised night after night of sleeping in somewhere abandoned and alone, that he wanted everything Meredith did, he wanted to be a father more than anything. Maybe everything came crashing down around him, maybe Callie couldn't look him in the eye anymore.

So he was writing something new on the billboard - one of Derek's, the one that had brought him to all this trouble in the first place. He'd crossed out ALIVE IN SEATTLE with a bright yellow spray and replaced it with a blinding new message. The board now read 'Moved to Portland,' which was an attempt to move people on if they happened to turn up next. As he turned around on top of the billboard, just the ladder beside him, he inhaled sharply and caught the edge of the fumes. Then the ladder began to make a scratching sound against the post of the board, gravity was pulling back and it was sliding down to the ground leaving him completely stranded high up on the ledge. Then it began to rain.

Water was running down the gap in his pants, his shirt was soaked through and clung to his chest like spandex. Rain splattered into his hair and his sneakers were a squelchy mess. He sat with his lip turned up and his eyes facing straight forwards, it was a while before he even noticed the headlights in the distance. The truck approached slowly and Derek climbed out slowly, he picked up the ladder from its shallow grave on the ground and climbed up to the top of the billboard. He sat beside Mark in a single moment of solidarity. He wasn't even sure why he'd come, or how he'd known where Mark would be but now he was here, all he could see was exhaustion in Mark's eyes.

Mark's shoulders shrugged as he finally let everything fall out of him, he let the tears wash over his face and head loll back against the newly painted board. Revenge is overrated. He thought to himself as he finally closed his eyes and let the rain flood over him. Derek's shoulder didn't touch his own but he felt his presence beside him. "So, you wanna come back with me?" He said after minutes dragged by like hours. There were times to hold grudges, and there were times to seek revenge. The end of the world wasn't one of them, they'd already all lost so much.

"I just don't want to keep fighting you guys anymore." Mark said, giving in to himself and letting Derek's kindness swallow him whole.