Chapter 9

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Martin and Louisa tiptoed down the stairs after settling James Henry into his bed after they got home. He had taken a bottle while they were still at the pub, then fallen asleep on the way home. When they had taken him from his car seat he stirred, but after a few pats on the tummy, he fell back into a sound sleep.

Louisa had looked up at Martin and motioned toward the stairs. They went to sit on the couch. Louisa removed her shoes and rubbed her feet a moment while Martin turned on a lamp. "So Martin, what did you think? You actually seemed to be enjoying yourself. Natalie not "too American" after all?" Louisa asked.

"Actually no. She is quite pleasant. Seems very intelligent - they both do - and they do not seem to feel the need for constant talk. I was amazed that for at least five minutes during the meal we were actually able to sit in silence and enjoy looking at the children and actually tasting our food instead of the quick way food is often consumed on these occasions, which is so unhealthy," Martin said.

"Their little Emily is so darling, isn't she? I hope that she and James Henry can grow to be friends. I was so much older than Al when we were all growing up here in Port Wenn but I still saw him almost every day, and I have to say it is kind of fun to be around him now that he is such a wonderful young man. Old friends can be a good thing," said Louisa.

Martin thought for a moment and then said, "I suppose that can be true. I wouldn't really know. I have not had a friend that I have kept for that long. When I left school, I was always so happy to leave everyone behind. Bullies - the lot! Mum and Dad never really took me around any other children when I was at home, which wasn't much anyway, and when I came here during summers, I mostly stayed out at the farm and read a lot."

"Oh Martin," Louisa said, touching his cheek softly. "I think that is too bad. Why didn't your parents at least let you make some friends near your home?"

Martin stared at her. He sat perfectly still and then looked down at his hands. "Louisa," he said, "I think it is time that I told you something that I didn't know myself until a while ago." He stopped then said, "My mother did not want me. Wait," he said as she started to interrupt. "Do you remember the day you came up here and said something about my parents and I told you to shut up? The day Danny's lung collapsed?"

"Of course," Louisa said.

"Louisa the reason that I was so upset that day was that my Mum had just told me that she had wasted forty years of her life because of me. That she had realized that I had ruined her perfect marriage just by being born and that she had tried her hardest to make sure things were like before by sending me away as often as she could. But even that didn't work. Her life was ruined and she had found a lover in Portugal. And I think I have always known that my father never really wanted me either. I was a bother." Martin said all of this in a rush. He felt that if he took too long to say it, it wouldn't all come out.

Louisa had begun to cry silently as he told her this. She could not fathom a mother saying something like this to her child. Even though her mum had left, she had always at least told Louisa on the few times that they HAD been together that she loved HER, just not her father. And she had known that she was wanted by her father, very much. And on the day James was taken by Mrs. Tishell, before Eleanor had gone away, she had professed her love for both Louisa and James and promised to be back in a few months. Louisa took a deep breath and let it out. "Oh God Martin. I can't believe it! Surely she didn't say all of that to you?" she said.

"Yes, she did actually. I went out to get a breath of air to get away from her for a moment and you came up and I..." Martin said, hanging his head.

Louisa put her hand under his chin and lifted his face toward hers. She looked him in the eyes and said softly, "I forgive you Martin. Don't worry about that any more. That is absolutely terrible that your Mum said that to you. You do understand that it is not your fault don't you?"

Martin looked at her and took a breath. "I think so," he said, "but it took a while to realize that. I even apologized to her that day."

"YOU apologized to HER?" Louisa asked. "Unbelievable. I thought I had it bad. We've both had a raw deal haven't we? Me with a mum who couldn't stay at home and a father who couldn't be honest even if he tried. IF he ever tried. I guess that is why it has been easy for me to run away when things have gone wrong." She paused, "Well, I say it's been easy but it hasn't. I have been miserable when we have been apart. Oh Martin," Louisa said as she leaned over and kissed him.

His breath caught in his throat. His eyes burned. He was overcome with emotion and tried to fight the feelings rising inside but couldn't any longer. "Louisa," he said as he kissed her. He brought both hands up to cup her face and she leaned in. She knew that he needed her, loved her, and was overwhelmed with feelings. She returned his kisses and put her arms around his waist, straining to get closer, to somehow give him the support he needed. She tasted salt on her tongue and knew that he had shed a few tears. Her breathing quickened with the sheer weight of emotion.

Slowly Martin brought the kisses to an end. He placed his forehead on hers for a moment and then leaned back. He smiled into her face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "Wait right here Louisa," he said.

He left and went into his consulting room. He pulled a large book off of his bookshelf and reached into the space. He pulled out a small box and went back into the lounge. "Louisa, I think it is time that you put this back on, don't you?" he asked with his velvet voice. "Please will you marry me?"

"Yes Martin, I will," she said.

He opened the tiny antique box and placed the beautiful ring on her finger. "I should have done it this way the first time Louisa. I apologize," he said.

She held out her hand to catch the beautiful ring in the lamplight. They both watched as the gems sparkled. "This is such a beautiful ring Martin. And a family heirloom. Let's make sure that this new family is different, very different from the ones that have come before," she said as she gave him a kiss.

"Yes, lets do that," Martin replied shyly. He looked her in the eye and held her hand. "Louisa, come to my room. Please. Just be with me and hold me. I need for us to be close tonight."

"Yes Martin. Me too."

They held each other close, murmuring their love and kissing each other softly. Morning light found them in Martin's room, Martin's arm around Louisa's waist. Holding her close, breathing in her scent, loving her. Committed.