There was silence at first in the Lexus as Martin, Louisa, and James Henry drove away from the vicarage. Both parents were deep in thought about the things that Luk had asked of them. The marriage agreement, the details of the wedding and christening, and the vows they would be taking during both services - for both, neither of the services were completely unfamiliar as they had been to several weddings and baptisms over the years.
The difference was, it was them this time. Them making the vows. Them KEEPING the vows. For Louisa, the promises were a bit scary since running away was what she had seen modeled, but the wording that Luk had showed them was comforting in a way. Luk made it sound as though she wasn't going to have to go it alone. And she had always felt that she had to do EVERYTHING alone. It sounded like Luk and Natalie, and indeed the whole congregation, were in it with them. I wonder if I can go and talk to Natalie if I need to, she thought. Would I really be able to open up if something goes wrong?
For Martin, the expectations seemed high. He wanted to be a good father and husband but he too wondered if he could do it. He felt totally confident with any medical issues that might come up with James of course, but spending time with him, meeting his friends, birthday parties (ugh!). Could he do all that? He certainly had never seen his father do any of those things. And being a good husband. The most important thing, he thought. I know that Louisa wants us to be more social. She wants me to keep my opinions to myself more often than I normally do, watch what she considers my rudeness, make small talk. Will I be able to make her happy? Yes, he thought. I am GOING to do it. I probably won't ever be good at the small talk - I don't really care - but I can learn to be a good father and husband because one thing is surely different. I have the DESIRE to do it. My parents never had the desire. I do. Just like in medical school. I wanted to be the best surgeon in my class, and I think I finally met that goal.
Louisa finally spoke. "Martin, do you mind if we drive down the coast a bit to a little cove I know? We can drive right out to the beach there and we can stay in the car since it is cold. I used to love to just watch the water sometimes when I was young. It was soothing somehow. Would you mind?" she asked.
"No of course not but I wouldn't want to stay too long or we are going to be eating very late," he replied.
"That's fine," she said. "I just want to hold your hand and rest my mind for a moment, if somebody (she pointed to James Henry) can stay still long enough to let me."
And so they did. The sky was getting much darker as it was late in the year, but there was still enough light to watch as the waves moved up and back. Martin held Louisa's hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. She turned to him and smiled. "Martin, this is great, I think. And we definitely are going to need to rearrange the surgery again soon." Martin raised his brows in surprise. "But I have to buy some things first," she said. "At a little boutique I have seen in Truro. If you can wait just a bit longer until I can go up there."
Martin sighed. "Louisa, this is ridiculous, you know that don't you?"
Louisa grinned then sobered. "Martin, I don't think so at all. We have been getting along great for the most part since I moved back in. We have committed to a marriage that I don't think either of us will back out of now, and we have FINALLY learned to talk without rowing after all of these years. I think the rearrangement is working out fine. Although, perhaps when we do change things in the surgery, James Henry can stay where he is."
"Yes. That sounds good," said Martin.
"Let's head back," Louisa said as James Henry began to struggle. He wanted out of the car and needed his bath. And they needed to eat.
After a quick dinner which Martin prepared while Louisa bathed James Henry, they both played with the baby for a while. James Henry finally began to whimper the way he usually did when he was getting hungry. "Martin, I think I am going to take him on up to nurse him if that's okay," Louisa said. "I'm really wiped out after all of this emotion."
"Yes all right Louisa. I will just finish the washing up and I will be there soon myself," he said, wondering where she meant she would be with the baby.
After finishing, he sat down with one of his clocks for a few minutes, as interrupting nursing sometimes made James Henry fussy. After getting finished with a particularly tricky part, he put up all of his tools, cut off all of the downstairs lights, and crept up the stairs. Hoping. Hoping.
He peeked into the guest room and found it empty. Aah, he thought and smiled to himself. He began to remove his tie and unbutton his shirt as he walked to the door of his own room. He stopped at the door. A beautiful sight lay before him and he felt overcome. James Henry had fallen asleep, his tiny mouth still in the shape of an "o" and was breathing contentedly. Louisa lay on her side, asleep, facing the baby, her hand on James' tiny waist, her lovely hair fanned out on the pillow behind her, the ghost of a smile on her lips. So sweet. So lovely. And his. He could not believe it. He felt a smile spread across his face. He swallowed. Oh God, he thought. Then he paused, wondering - was that a prayer?