Hello!

Long time, no read. I know. I'm sorry. I was having trouble with this chapter because I was originally going to finish off with this chapter. But no. Plans changed, and there's two more chapters after this one.

Don't worry though, everything is planned. I know exactly what I'm doing and it makes writing this story a hell of a lot easier. :)

I want to thank Speklez. Though she will never read this, she helped me figure out what to do and how to get to the end of the story without it sounding like I didn't care and just wanted it finished. She's the one who put me on the right track. :)

Anyways... I think I'll leave you with this chapter now...

Sick. Disgust. Self-hate.

Those were just three emotions I felt when I looked down at my mate, and then up at my adoptive father.

"How… what… Carlisle, I…?" I was hardly able to speak, and whatever I managed to say was strained. The pit in my stomach was twisted to a painful degree and I swore that if I was human, I would be hunched over and emptying my stomach right now.

He nodded sadly. "The disease would have been in your veins, in your blood, when you changed. I had not realised that there was even a slight chance the remnants of the traces in your blood would be traceable in your venom nearly a century later, Edward." He sighed, and leaned back against his desk, looking at me. "Had I known, Edward, I would have told you when you first came to me about being intimate with Bella."

I frowned, still too shocked to understand everything he was saying with full clarity and my whole mind. I knew that some corner of it had immediately understood, but that message had not yet reached the rest of my jarred, shocked mind. My eyes narrowed as I looked up at him, but it was not in an angry way – it was merely as I tried to understand. "Are you saying that the Spanish Influenza is within my venom? That I…" I looked down at my Bella, already noting the slight differences as the venom I had just injected in her changed her. "That I… I caused this."

Carlisle sighed, and nodded. "Yes, that is exactly what I am saying, Edward."

I frowned again, feeling awfully confused. "But how could it not affect any of my victims when I left home to hunt humans? And wouldn't this be making her worse? It is my venom – my contaminated venom – that is changing her, Carlisle." I was beginning to panic now. The thought that I could be causing my mate, my love more pain was abhorrent. A section of my mind examined her for any negative changes, taking in her vitals, and I calmed slightly when I realised that all signs were telling me that this was a completely normal change.

I jumped when I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, at a loss as to what I should do. His other hand came down on my shoulder and he looked me in the eye. "To be honest, son, I cannot answer your first question completely sure of my theory and I can only guess at the answer of the second. Would you like to hear what I think anyway?"

I nodded firmly. Any theory was better than not knowing anything.

"Alright," he said. "I believe that the answer to both questions is tied. First, I must say that I do not believe the balance of venom to traces of the disease is equal. There would only be slight traces, you see. Furthermore, if you think of how many times you have been intimate with Bella in comparison to the one time that you bit and released venom into each of your victims, only to suck it out I suppose when you drank from them… it would make sense that Bella has contracted the disease and that she has a high enough dose of it running through her veins to experience the symptoms and to fall ill, do you not think?"

I thought for a moment, finally nodding in agreement. "So do you believe that if I had left my human victims to live, they would live a full life as if they were totally clean of the disease?"

Carlisle nodded once, firmly. "Yes. I have every reason to believe that they would and could live with the disease running dormant in their veins. Remember, those who were susceptible to this disease were young and fit – something that you were and that your Bella is, too. And, of course, because there was so much of it everywhere, the rate of contamination in one's body would be higher than that of Bella's."

I sighed, and nodded, until I remembered again. "Carlisle… what Alice said about Bella changing normally but for one aspect…?"

"Yes, Edward?" Carlisle perked up, listening intently.

"Do you believe it could have something to do with her memory?" I whispered frightfully, grasping my love's hand in need of her touch, her comfort. She smiled in spite of herself and I swallowed, looking at her as I continued. "I know that my days as a human are hazier than normal, almost forgotten. Do you believe that she could have lost her memory because of this? Because of me?"

Carlisle frowned. "I do not know, Edward. I do not know."

And then he turned around and walked out of the office, leaving me alone with my Bella. I sighed, looking down at her, itching for her touch, needing to feel her. I climbed onto the examination table and pulled her against me, burying my nose in her hair.

I closed my eyes, and waited.

~oOo~

The wait, considering the amount of variables that we were unsure of, was unbearable. My mind was my worst enemy, my Bella's scent and the touch of her skin being my saviour. It told me how close she was to waking up, for the burn in my throat had all but completely vanished.

Though none of our family members physically came to join us in the office, they still hovered. Esme was worried for the both of us, and I caught her thoughts more often than not wanting to comfort me in any way she could. Carlisle wanted to check on Bella's transformation; he wanted to know if there was any way that we could find out for certain if my mate would lose her memory to the extent that I had, or completely. Jasper helped them – and in turn, me – by calming them to the point where they could focus on something else. He also told Carlisle that all I really needed was to know that they would support us, but to be able with my Bella until she awakened. Alice was also happy in that department; she never seemed angry when I asked her for updates or information about Bella's condition. She never once lost patience with me though I'd ask her the same question every few hours, always begging for some new piece of information though she could not give it to me.

In fact, out of the six members of my family, the two that were helping the most were Rosalie and Emmett, funnily enough, and simply because they were not home. After the wolves had left, Rosalie had complained about the stench – something that I agreed with her about – and so Emmett took her on a hunting trip up north with the promise to be back for Bella's awakening into her second, eternal life.

They had taken their phones, and were in contact with Alice whenever she texted them to tell them when they needed to be back and if those plans had or would change. From what Alice had told me, they should be just about to leave now if they had not left already. Upon that thought, I looked up at the clock again and sighed.

Seven hours, thirteen minutes, and four seconds, Edward, Alice thought to me. I nodded though she could not see me. Not long now.

I huffed, and shook my head. Not long. Right. To her, perhaps, it was not a long time but to me… I sighed again and looked down at my mate. The hand that was holding hers tightened ever so slightly and as if on instinct – and who knew, perhaps it was on instinct – she shuffled closer to me. She did not seem to be in any discomfort, which was strange, but before I could even begin to panic, I heard Alice's thoughts again.

Edward, calm down, she admonished, not moving from her place, curled up at Jasper's side in their room as they watched an old movie – a favourite of theirs. You know she's probably hiding it from you. Can't you see the little frown of frustration, the swallows of pain and the curl of her lip as she concentrates? That's all for you, brother, to make sure you don't completely go off the rocket. She paused for a minute and I nearly thanked her when she interrupted me once again. No need to thank me. Just calm down for Bella and all will be fine; you'll see, she finished ominously, before barricading her thoughts.

I huffed, but she ignored me, and she sighed contentedly as she settled back into her mate's side to watch their movie. I let her be, knowing that the two couples present in this house – our adoptive parents, Alice and Jasper – needed time to themselves so they could just… be.

The next seven hours were the hardest. I knew exactly what Bella was going through, and so I knew that this would be the most painful part of the transformation – the part she remembered it by. Just thinking back to mine made me flinch, and that slight nudge made my love whimper. Trying to soothe her, I trailed my nose against her cheek and she calmed in my arms, retreating to her nearly completely unresponsive state.

I did many things to try and take my mind of the ticking clock. I hummed my love's lullaby, I composed new music in my head, I laid my head down and memorised the sound of Bella's beautiful heart beating, counting them. I matched my breathing to hers, listened for any sounds of her discomfort though there were none and savoured every lasting moment of her humanity.

It was not that I didn't want my love, or that I was unable that she was becoming one of us, a vampire… it was more that I had fallen in love with her when she was human, loved her body when she was human and had grown attached to certain qualities of her humanity that would no longer be present when she woke up.

Hours later, the sound of Bella's heart speeding up caught my attention – along with the attention of the others in the house. Upon the sign, they gathered their things and promptly left the house. Alice assured me that everything would be fine once Bella woke up and that they wouldn't be too far should any problems arise – namely, the wolves.

When Bella's heart rate picked up again, flying inside her chest, I got up off the table and let her lay there by herself. Some part of my brain was praying that she would at least remember and know me. It was selfish, yes, but at this point I really didn't care if she remembered nothing else – it would kill me if she didn't know me.

She arched off the bed and I could only remember when I'd done exactly the same seconds before my heart stopped forever. Her heart gave a few more, painfully hard beats before it stopped and she simply laid there.

I was now standing against the wall, watching her. Many different scenarios ran through my head, most unpleasant.

Only the sound of Bella's low growl as she flipped off the bed and stood against the wall dragged me out of these horrible images. I gasped when our eyes met, golden to red, and for a moment, I was unsure of everything.

But then she smiled, a twinkle appearing in her eye. She stepped, flitting to stand before me and the love in her eyes told me everything would be ok. Her hands reached up, quick as lightning, to cup my face and I purred, leaning into her touch. She smiled up at me, licking her lips.

And then she opened her mouth and said one word – one word, two syllables that told me everything I need to know.

"Edward."

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