Look at this, I'm updating already. Scary isn't it? Lol I hope you are all enjoying this story so far as there is still plenty more to go. Now onto chapter five…
Morning came and L opened his eyes. It seemed that this was going to be an everyday thing- sleeping through the night, waking up naked, with Light. He snuggled closer to Light and smiled softly, looking at his sleeping face. Light's formerly smooth face contorted into a frown and he let out a small whimper as he continued to sleep. Frowning in concern, L gently stroked Light's face, trying to comfort him. Light's arms tightened around L and his head buried into L's shoulder as he let out another cry.
"H-hey," L tried to shake Light gently, "It's okay, wake up." He'd recognised the symptoms of a nightmare, having suffered a few of his own. Gripping Light tighter to him, he tried shaking him again. Light's eyes squeezed shut, not seeming to notice the shaking.
"L... please... don't go," Light whispered softly, still fast asleep. L froze, staring down at Light. His eyes widened and he felt tears rise.
"I won't leave you..." he said softly, "I promise, I'll never leave you." He gently stroked his hair, "I- I lo-love you," he had a small difficulty saying the word, but he was sure that it was true now. And Light couldn't hear him anyway. Finally Light stirred and he looked at L with bleary eyes.
"L?" L's eyes had tears forming and he hugged Light tightly, relived.
"You were having a nightmare," He said, his voice muffled as his face was pressed against Light's shoulder. "I promise I'll never leave you." Light smiled and hugged L back realising that that he too had tears in his eyes.
"Thank you." L leaned back far enough to look at Light and gently caressed his cheek.
"You scared me." He gave a quiet, bitter laugh, "It's strange for it not to be me with the nightmare."
"It's weird since I don't dream much," Light said leaning into the gently hand. L smiled softly and sighed, leaning closer to Light.
"We'll catch Kira today," He said softly, "And then it can be just us." Light smiled back but knew it wasn't possible seeing as they had only just got their first lead. L sat up then, smiling at Light. "I need a shower. If you join me, are we likely to get sticky again?" He didn't act like he was apposed to the idea. Instead, he was smiling softly.
"In don't know, are we?" Light said teasingly and grinned mischievously. L grinned, standing with quite a bit of energy. He reached out and took Light's hand, pulling him towards the bathroom. Once there, he closed the door and pushed Light against it, kissing him deeply.
"I should…" he kissed Light again, "…learn to keep…" and again, "…my hands off you." He pressed his hand against Light's bare skin, glad that they hadn't gotten dressed yet. "It's your fault." He seemed content to kiss Light between every couple of words, "…you make me…" kiss, "…want you like…" kiss, "…nothing before." Light's arms wrapped around L's neck and pulled him closer.
"It's a good thing that I love having your hands on me, and I want you to want me," Light murmured. Moaning softly at the words, L reattached his lips to Lights', his hand reaching down to grasp both their growing erections. He ran his hand up both of them, moving closer to Light. He pulled away with a small laugh.
"It seems like this is all we do." He laughed softly, his head falling on Lights' shoulder and his hand falling away. "I want to know that what we have is more than just sex..."
"Good, because I want you for more than just sex too, however, you are a dating a hormonal, 18 year old male so you have got to expect it," Light laughed and kissed L's shoulder. L nodded and returned to his previous actions, his hand returning to their manhood's and his lips returning to Light's. Light groaned into L's mouth, his tongue wrapping around L's, desperate to taste and to feel. L was instantly as hard as he could get and he moved faster. He moved closer and deepened the kiss. Light felt himself buck against L's hand and used his free hands to hold L to him tightly. L moaned softly, thrusting into his own hand and moving faster. Light freed on hand and moved it to cup the hand that was pumping L's erection and squeezed it gently. Meanwhile sounds of appreciation continued to flow from his lips. A feeling of warmth coiled in L's stomach and he moaned deeply, leaning closer to Light.
"I'm gonna... soon…" he warned, continuing his movements.
"Come for me," Light murmured. Moaning, L did just that, emptying himself over his own hand and Light. Even through the exhaustion that always followed, L managed to keep his hand moving, not wanting to be the only one to enjoy this. Light came a minute later and breathing heavily.
"I don't care what you say... you are beautiful."
"Pfft," L snorted, "Hormone induced craziness." He waved a hand in a circle around his ear, making a coo-coo sound. Laughing slightly, he moved away from Light. "We should wash." He yawned, "We made a mess." Light frowned, bordering on glare.
"You have amazing eyes, your skin is flawless and pretty, but I love it when it is flushed pink and your hair... has a mind of it's own but it is so soft. You are beautiful in my eyes L and I hope that one day you will be able to see it too," Light explained softly. L snorted again, turning to the shower and turning the water on.
He stepped under the spray and let it fall over him before turning around and looking at Light, "You going to join me?" Light rolled his eyes and followed L in.
"You have the sweetest smile and when something strange has happened and you're not quite sure of what to make of it you have the cutest expression. You eat mounds of sugar but I haven't seen any model with nicer teeth and you get away with eating nothing healthy but not gain hardly any weight," Light continued as he washed the gunk off him.
"I secretly binge on apples," L joked, reaching for the soap. "Like I told Misa, if you use your mind, you don't have to exercise- though I do like to play tennis." He started soaping himself and scrubbing.
"I watched you for hours working and wasn't bored for a second," Light said finally and hoped it didn't come out as creepy. L just looked at Light with a 'yeah right' expression. He handed the soap to Light while he rinsed his body down. He then reached for the shampoo.
"I get bored with my working," He said.
"Fine, ask anyone in the room. I did nothing but look at you for the entire time," Light challenged as he took the soap and began to wash.
L sighed, "Look, you can say what you want, I'm not saying you're lying, I'm saying you're crazy. There is a difference." He emptied some shampoo directly onto his head and started rubbing it in, his eyes closed to prevent the soap from getting into them.
"So I'm crazy now? Crazy for thinking that the one I love is beautiful. Am I crazy for thinking that you are the most amazing thing I have ever seen? Because if so I guess I'm crazy because obviously you are so damn set on believing the opposite," Light said sounding frustrated, "I will keep telling you until you believe me." Thankfully all the suds were gone and he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry himself off. L opened his eyes to look at Light, but unfortunately, the soap wasn't all out of his hair and some moved into his eyes.
"Ow!" He grimaced rinsing his hand under the stream of water and rubbed his eyes furiously. "Pass me a towel," L asked quietly. He hadn't meant to upset Light, really. He just truly didn't believe what he was saying. Light grabbed the hand towel and passed it too L immediately.
"Are you ok?" Light's asked concerned.
Taking the towel, L rubbed his eyes and nodded. He sighed and stuck his head back under the shower, throwing the towel in Light's general direction. "I'm fine."
"That's good, but try to be more careful. I don't want you to hurt yourself," Light scolded gently.
L sighed into the shower and nodded, smiling a little. "It's just a little shampoo. It's not going to kill me." He rubbed the soap out of his hair and made sure that none of the suds were still on his body before stepping out of the shower. He pulled a towel from the rack and started drying himself, not bothering to cover. It felt kind of natural now, for him to be naked with Light.
"Can we do something tonight?" he asked, "Something together...?" He didn't look at Light as he asked, looking at his reflection in the mirror.
"Sure, have anything in mind?" Light asked casually and walked over to stand behind L. Taking half a step back, L leaned against Light.
"I don't know...dinner?" he suggested, smiling at Light through the mirror. "Something... coupley." He shrugged. "I don't know what they do..."
"That sounds... nice. I would really like that," Light replied and hugged L tightly from behind.
"I can cook," L admitted a little sheepishly. "I never had to, but I enjoy it... I can make us something tonight... what would you like?"
"As long as it's not too spicy then I don't really mind what it is. I can help if you would like, my mum used to work night's so I would have to cook dinner for me and Sayu." Finishing dressing, L turned around and stared at Light for a full minute before swallowing deeply.
"Gods, you're beautiful," He whispered as he stared at Light, "You shouldn't wear that to work...it won't stay on for long before I rip them off you..."
"Should I time you?" Light replied teasingly.
"Do you want me to be like that in front of the task force?" L asked with a small laugh. He brought his hand up to wipe his mouth. "Gods, what are you dong to me? Making me horny, unable to concentrate, eating normal food, and now I'm drooling." He laughed again, finally tearing his eyes from Light.
"I guess we better go down stairs," Light replied laughing now too. Light smiled and quickly followed downstairs after his lover. Once in the main work room, L sat on his chair and turned his computer on. Sighing as he started working again.
It wasn't until about three hours later that he blinked at his screen, completely surprised. "Higuchi..." he whispered, prodding Light in the arm without taking his eyes off the screen. On the screen was a video surveillance of Kyosuke Higuchi the head of technology development of the Yotsuba group. Higuchi was writing in a notebook in the park. L had zoomed in on the words, they were names.
"I've cross-referenced the time of his writing with the time of death. Each person died exactly 40 seconds after their names were written..." How could he have been so careless? To do that in the open...? L turned to look at Light finally, with a small smile on his face, "I told you we'd capture Kira today." Light smiled.
"Ryuzaki, you are truly amazing."
Grinning, L nodded before turning around and talking to the team.
Several hours later, L was sat in the helicopter, staring at a being beside Higuchi. In his hands, held delicately was a black book, the tool of Kira's work. Unable to handle the curiosity Light grabbed the notebook and a wrenching pain flooded through him as is mind was assaulted by memories and Light didn't even hear himself scream.
"Light!" L exclaimed, "Are you alright?" He gently placed a hand on his shoulder and gently tried to take the book off Light. "What happened?" Sure, the form of the shinigami was shocking, but Light usually kept his composure, he shouldn't be like this. L completely ignored the crumpling form of Higuchi in favour of pressing his hand against Light's forehead. "Are you alright?" He asked again, standing from his seat and checking Light over. His eyes were wide and worried. He was also a little nervous about Light having the Death Note. The boy knew his name, after all. Looking down again and seeing the Death Note, Light all but threw back at L. Light's eyes were full of pain and horror.
"I don't think so... I really don't think so." Taking the Death Note, L placed it on the seat behind him.
"I understand that the form of the shinigami is..." he tried to find a word to describe her, "Incredible, however, I didn't think you'd react like this." His arms were now around Light, pulling him close. He barked orders into his headset, all the while, keeping his arms around Light, trying to comfort him.
"I don't care about the damn shinigami," Light cried and he clung to L like a lifeline.
This caused L to place all of his attention on Light, "Then what is it? I thought you'd be overjoyed that we caught Kira..." Light choked up, and tears began to stream silently down his face. He couldn't say or he would die. Ripping away his headset, L brushed the Death Note off the seat and sat on it, bringing Light with him to sit on his lap. "What is it?" He asked softly, holding him tightly, "please, tell me." Light shook his head fiercely, his cries becoming more and more audible by the second. "Light," L began, talking quietly and comfortingly, "It's okay, whatever it is, you can tell me. I can't help you unless you tell me what it is." By this time, all of the task force had returned to the headquarters already. L gestured to Watari, who was behind them, to take the other stick and take them back. Light just shook his head harder, a headache building from the pressure. "Please," L was starting to get really upset now, worrying about him. "Please, tell me so I can help." Tears were falling out of his eyes now.
"NO NO NO NO NO!" Light yelled overing his ear with his hands and looking like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
"Light, please?" L was sobbing too now, afraid for his lover, trying to figure out how to help. "Please let me help." Light gave into temptation and curled up into a ball, his hands still clasped over his ears and he continued to shake his head fiercely. L leaned over Light, holding him closely.
"Light, whatever it is, I promise I'll listen."
"Stop it!" Light moaned miserably, "Please just stop."
"I just want to help," L said softly, trying to calm Light with soothing motions with his arms. "I love you Light. Please, let me help."
"Please L just leave me the hell alone." Light said coldly, not knowing how else to get his lover to stop talking. Each word was like a dagger turning in his heart. No matter how unconscious of the fact he was, the truth still was that he had betrayed L and when he gets sent to his execution... no even when he is merely charged as Kira and knowing that without a doubt Light would have to die for his actions... it would destroy L.
L refused, shaking his head, "No. I love you." He said, sniffing and shaking his head, "And you look like you need me, now more than ever." He said softly, holding him still. "So I'm not going until you talk to me, or at least calm down." Slowly Light's shaking stilled.
"It's because I love you that I can't tell you."
"Light..." L was more than half confused, "I don't care what it is. What are you afraid of?" He asked, softly, "I love you. And this is scaring me, Light. You're making me worry." Now that Light was back in control he was the trying to consol L. Carefully Light took L's face into his hands and caressed it gently.
"That is the last thing I want. I never want to worry you and I never want to hurt you. You deserve so much more than that." L nodded, wiping his eyes, and keeping walking.
"But please do."
"I will," Light vowed, his heart aching at the sight of L's tears. L walked into the workroom and there was a meeting within the team.
"We still need to figure out who the second Kira was, if we are to assume that Higuchi was the first Kira." Light instinctively sat down next to L as the team stood gather around them. He could almost feel the poison of the death note whispering in his ear again and he fought hard to ignore it. There was a short meeting, in which, the group agreed to meet again in the morning. It was too late to get much done now. Once the group had left, L picked up the Death Note, using only two fingers, and moved to a glass container. He placed it in there and closed the lid, locking it. He then turned to Light and smiled softly, "Shall we go upstairs?" He asked, moving to the stairs before letting Light answer.
"Yeah, sure," Light replied quietly, unable to even look at the deadly object and walked over to L. L was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. He spat into the sink and turned to look at Light, "Are you alright now?" he asked softly, placing his toothbrush under the stream of water. He was worried about his lover.
"Yeah, I'm fine now. I guess being around the death note was really giving me the creeps," Light said smiling at L gently, trying to rid his eyes of the slight tension they held though was harder. L could tell that Light wasn't being completely honest. He frowned for a second before nodding. He put his toothbrush away. He wiped his mouth then turned to the toilet to relieve himself. He smiled sheepishly at Light, uncomfortable peeing with someone in the room. Light blushed and quickly raced from the room to wait in the bedroom. After reliving himself and cleaning his hands, he entered the bedroom, standing nervously at the door.
"..." He didn't know what Light was hiding, but he knew it wasn't good. "I love you," he said. This was the first time that he'd said it without panic around, and without sleep on its way. "I do. And you can trust me. I just want you to know that." He was looking at the ground.
"I do trust you and I love you more than my own existence, but I know I will hurt you," Light said and gently enfolded L in his arms.
"I don't care... I'll listen, I promise. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I never want to hear you that upset again." He leaned against Light, feeling the tears come. He could guess what it was, but... he prayed he was wrong. Gently Light guided L to the bed and sat him down twining both thin, pale hands with his own before speaking.
"First I would like to say that I love you... I love you with all my heart and soul. Everything I am and have is yours to do with what you wish. I just want to have no doubt about this when I tell you this. I know you know this already and I know you wish you didn't. To tell you this is tearing me apart as I know it will hurt you as I said and your pain is my pain... as I guess mine is now yours. You have changed me L, and I am a far better person because you have been in my life, as my friend and as my lover." Light choked up now and he found it difficult to continue but swallowed and did it anyway. "I am Kira… The first Kira... the main Kira. I am giving you my life now L, I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances. I swear to tell you everything I know and to never under any circumstances allow anything to happen that will lead to your death if I can prevent it." L froze, his heart beating faster, panic starting to set in.
"I-" He looked away, swallowing thickly. "It's okay, we can deal with this..." he stood and started pacing. "We can tell the force that Higuchi was the first Kira. If I tell them that I'm sure, they'll believe me, and they won't suspect you. We'll burn the note, then you won't be able to use it, and we won't have to worry about you falling back on that…" He shook his head then looked at Light, "I won't let you get the death penalty for this." Light stood and sat L back down again and spoke calmly.
"L, even I know that I deserve the death penalty for this. You can do what ever you think is best and I won't criticize you no matter what your decision is, but you can't take this lightly. Sit down and try to calm down. I know it won't be easy but you need to think with a level head and right now you are understandably in shock. You don't need to destroy the death note for me to never use it again. I would rather kill myself than risk hurting you like that. When you think you can think clearly I will tell you everything and then you can decide but you shouldn't make a decision like this now."
"Light... I don't care about justice if it means I have to lose you," He said softly, tears falling in a stream. "I don't want to lose you. The Death Note will be burned. I don't want it existing anymore."
"Still, think it over. You're in pain and I would do anything to take it away, but you need to let me tell you everything before you decide what we should do," Light murmured and moved closer to L so as to stroke his back softly and kissed the side of his head. "I love you so much."
Not feeling very secure, L gripped onto Light, climbing in his lap and sobbing softly, "I refuse to lose you..." he cried, "I refuse." Light held L tightly in his arms, rubbing L's back soothingly.
"I promised that I will be here for as long as you want me to be. You are my life L and so I will let you decide how we are to deal with this." L clutched him tighter, shaking as he cried.
"Light..." he said softly, "why have you renounced Kira?" He asked softly, "Why have you given it up?"
"I thought it would be obvious," Light said as he gently wiped away the tears on L's cheeks. "I did because I love you, and I can't do both so I took the only option I could live with even if I may die with it too."
"But..." L stared at Light, "…I didn't think..." he looked at him again, "I'm not going to let you die," He said softly, "I promise you. Nobody will have to know about this."
"Would you like me to tell you everything now?" Light asked still rubbing L's back. Numbly, L nodded, holding onto Light tighter. He didn't want to hear it, but he needed to.
"I promise; I'll listen to you." Light quickly begun to tell L everything from his background to when he first got the note book to now and taking care to explain the rules of the notebook he had discovered. "So the rules in the back of the book are fake?" L asked softly, still clutched against Light.
"Yeah, they are," Light confessed just as quietly his head resting on L's shoulder.
"Then I can burn it," He said softly. "I still don't understand why you're giving this up. It sounds like the book is very powerful, and that it's taking a hold of some of your personality. It sounds like you couldn't stop it, if you wanted to. So why now?"
"Because I have finally found something that I can't lose." L kissed Light softly, his eyes closing.
"Then we won't tell them. You can't confess to them, it'll cause you to get taken away. We'll say that Higuchi was the first Kira, and we'll say Misa was the second, but she gave up her notebook and memories. There'd be no reason to lock her up, as unfortunate as it is, she'll be free," He smiled softly, trying to joke.
"If that is what you have decided then we'll do it," Light said and kissed L's cheek.
"Then we'll go to England. You'll help me with L. You'll join me in working with it… If you want to."
"I would love to help you," Light replied immediately.
"Let's sleep for tonight. We'll talk again later." He didn't move, staying on Light's lap. Light held L tightly as he turned them so they were lying on the bed before leaning in and kissing L softly.
"I don't deserve you."
"Probably not, but I don't deserve you either," L mumbled, shifting his position slightly so that his head was on Light's chest. He could hear his heartbeat, and it comforted him somewhat. Sure, he was a little nervous upon finding out that his lover was a mass murderer, but L trusted Light.
"Of course you don't deserve me; you deserve someone so much better."
L shook his head, "No, I don't think so." He sighed, his hand reaching up to place his thumb in his mouth. "I love you," he said softly, closing his eyes.
"I love you too... always," Light whispered and closed his eyes too.
So L finally knows. Readers of MIADWP may have recognised the nightmare scene as something similar happened in that story too. I hope you all enjoyed that chapter and reviews are always appreciated.