Sorry this took so long. Things have gotten pretty crazy on my end, but I've finally figured out where this is going. I can't wait for you all to read what's in store!
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Disclaimer: I do not own any piece of The Walking Dead franchise. If I did, I would be eating sandwiches with Norman Reedus, not writing fan fiction. The character of Emma Louise Prescott is one hundred percent mine, as she was created by me after watching too many episodes of The Walking Dead.
September
When I was a teenager and would complain about having to spend a Saturday labeling cans or being the only girl in school with a car from a year later than 2003, Daddy would tell me that some day it would all be worth it. He never gave me any real details, just said that the time would come when I would understand why we put ourselves through so much trouble and I would be thankful that we did it. I thought he was crazy, Mama thought he was crazy. But Mama had always thought something was off with him―she told me so once, when I was around age seven, that his craziness was the reason she married him.
Mama was my age, twenty five, when she first met Daddy, then eighteen. It wasn't normal for a woman her age to be unmarried and have no children and Mama knew it, but she couldn't bring herself to date anyone after the death of her first boyfriend Paul who had joined the army and died overseas. She told me that she had spent years trying to figure out what was wrong with her―if she was "tainted"―only to be reassured that nothing was once my Daddy came along. He told her she was beautiful and took her out on dates that made her feel alive again. When my Papa found out about my Daddy, he told him to stay away and threatened him with his shotgun. Daddy didn't listen and showed up the next morning with a bouquet of pink roses, Mama's favorite, and a shit-eating grin on his face. They got married the next year and had me eleven months after that.
Their love, the crazy, shit-eating grin kinda love, is the kind of love I want. Even if it is the end of the world, I have to believe that that love is out there for me, whether it's in the form of Matt, wherever he is, or someone else who has made it out alive.
-x-
"Emma?" Shane asks, interrupting my train of thought. I'm on the porch, where I always seem to be, watching the wind make tree leaves dance. I turn my head to look at him and don't give a vocal response. "Whatever it is that you found―and I mean whatever it is―I don't want to know."
"What?" I reply in surprise. I went through all of that for nothing?
"Whatever you found is going to jeopardize the safety of all of us. I don't...I wouldn't be able to...I'm not the guy that you think I am. I ain't some grade-A asshole who only thinks of himself, but I ain't about to take shit from anyone. Not after what I've been through. But what you know might change things, and I couldn't live with myself if I became my own worst enemy. I already have too many enemies, I don't need any more."
"Too many enemies?" I think out loud. The only enemy I have is Beth and that's because of my own doing, kicking her in the shins and all.
"It's a long story."
"I've got time." And I do. It's the end of the world and I've got more time than I should, all because my Daddy knew what was going on before anyone else and made sure I would be safe. "Far as I know, your group is still sleeping. But I'm sure they're a part of what you have to say."
Shane takes a seat beside me on a lounge chair, the one that Mama used to sit and read on on cool Spring mornings. He keeps his back straight and shoulders stiff and looks out in front of him, refusing to make eye contact.
"I was a cop. I am a cop. I...was a cop," he begins with a deep breath. "My partner, best friend...Rick. He was shot right before the dead started walking. I went to the hospital to save him and...and I tried. I really did. And then he stopped breathing, I thought he was dead. But I guarded the room, I made sure he was safe. The government was killing people in the hallway, innocent people who weren't infected with anything―no bites, nothin'."
Came back due to BX exposure while alive.
"I went to his house, went to find his wife and son. If I couldn't save Rick, I was sure as hell gonna save the ones he loved. Ain't like I had anything to save for myself, 'cept maybe a Dylan record or two. Nowhere near as important as Lori and Carl. We got as far as we could on a packed highway, hearing murmurs about the CDC having a cure and a refugee center in Atlanta."
There's talk it could go to the CDC for further testing but I doubt the probability―they haven't been good for much of anything as of late.
"Had to get off the highway for awhile, headed to a quarry and met Glenn's group. Andrea showed up the next day with her sister and a man named Dale, a nice man but he talked too much to like him. Got settled in, comfortable. Added more people to the group―the Dixon brothers weren't good for nothin', 'cept hunting small game to feed the camp. I wasn't afraid to tell them that and they weren't afraid to tell me to go to Hell. Few other families with kids, Carl got a friend named Sophia but...she ain't around no more. Glenn was our runner, he'd go to the city and get supplies while the rest of us waited at camp. Sure enough, the first time he takes more than himself there's trouble and the one behind all of it is Rick. I ain't never been happier to see someone in my life, but it was like I was lookin' at a ghost. Lori, Carl...they were floored, over the moon excited. But then Lori out of nowhere stopped talking to me, told me to stay away from her and Carl thinking that I lied to her about Rick being dead. We ended up at the CDC after our camp got overrun, almost didn't get let in."
CDC says BX is nothing more than sister to Ebola. It's been "taken care of". Heard it may be used in warfare at later time.
"Only lasted one night―the place blew up when the generators ran out. Jenner, the guy that let us in, he was the only one left. Said something about this thing being unavoidable and wanted us all to stay and burn with the building. Rick...Rick and his magical fuckin' powers got us out of there with minutes to spare. Saved the day. We headed back to the highway and were getting ready to head to Benning when a herd came through. We lost that little girl, Sophia, in the woods. Spent too fuckin' long lookin' for that girl. We all knew she was dead but ain't nobody but me wanted to admit it. Carl got shot while we were lookin' and that's how we met Maggie, ending up at her family's farm. Her dad was a doctor, a vet, really, but the closest we had. Some time went by, Carl got better thanks to Hershel, Maggie's dad, and that's when shit hit the fan. One day we find out there's walkers in one of the barns, the one our camp was closest to. So I took them out, convinced the group to help me. Wasn't expecting Sophia to be in there, but it didn't change nothin'. What else was I supposed to do? I...I did what I thought was best for the group. But Rick, he...he disagreed. Said we shoulda abided by Hershel's 'no guns' rule. He'd been disagreein' with me for awhile by that point so I said my goodbyes and as I was leavin', Andrea told me she was coming with. Glenn followed her and Maggie followed him. Gotta say, I was surprised by that one. Glenn had been one of Rick's biggest fans. We made our way towards Benning, the place I knew, I just knew we should have gone to instead of the CDC. Thank whatever God is left that we didn't. The place was a ghost town, filled with nothing but still breathing, walking, ghosts. And thank the same God that Rick hadn't agreed with me. If he were to know I was wrong I don't think he woulda ever looked at me the same. Not that he had since...since."
"So how did you end up in Albany? It's over 100 miles," I say in surprise.
Daddy used to spend three or four days at work and then come home for the rest of the week to make up for lost time with the family. Mama always told him he was crazy for working so far away, asking him why he couldn't find a job closer to us. He would always give the same reason: You'll thank me someday. But Mama will never thank him; that job has fallen on to my shoulders.
"Lot'sa luck. Best way to describe it. Never really ran into trouble, 'cept for a few herds of walkers along the way. Seems that nobody really lived near that stretch of highway. It was smooth sailing, only took us about a month, give or take a week."
"You must have some angels on your side," I smile at him. For once, he smiles back at me without a trace of the smirk I have come to associate with him. "Sometimes having enemies is a good thing."
Shane laughs at that, throwing his head back. "Not in this world, Emma," he says and then laughs himself into a peaceful quiet. "Not in this world."
-x-
October
The last days of September came and went with a loss of humidity and the addition of falling leaves. There hasn't been any bad blood between myself and Shane since the night he came back, and his group has been more than helpful around the land. It's nice to sleep in every once in awhile instead of waking up at four in the morning to milk Betsy. Shane has kindly taken that responsibility off of my shoulders.
Things have actually gone pretty smoothly, save for a day or two when the generators went out and I had to dig through Daddy's files in order to figure out how to fix them. Turns out someone had accidentally flipped a switch down in the basement when getting food from the pile. Knowing my gracelessness it was probably me. We've been lucky enough to only have dealt with three or four walkers and Glenn took them out easily with a baseball bat.
Practicing for the season, he told me with a laugh.
It felt good to be laughing again. I could only hope my new friends felt the same.
Because that's what they have become: friends. Maggie and I, after what happened when I questioned her about her weight, got to know each other and I honestly think that if we would have met before the world went to shit, we would have been best friends. Andrea and I work out together every afternoon, whether it be squats or lunges or simple arm exercises. It keeps us busy and ready for action. Andrea, I've learned, is always ready for action. Glenn and I geek out over the same things, like old school B-movies and have been known to spontaneously burst into song when in the same room together. He's like the little brother I always wanted. The little, oriental brother. And surprisingly, I've grown the closest to Shane. If I need something, he knows about it before I do. If I want something, he's got it for me before I know that I want it.
There was one morning two weeks back when I woke up with a killer headache, fully willing to spend the entire day in bed and not participate in the scheduled realignment of the stockpile shelves. Realignment days are the worst because I have to rotate each and every canned good on the shelf, thaw any close-to-expiration meats and then flash freeze them to maintain freshness, and write down every single thing that I do. When I went down to the basement to start the job, Shane was already halfway done. To express my gratitude, I made steaks for dinner after my headache went away.
According to my calendar, it's October seventh: my anniversary with Matt. I wish I knew where he is, if he's safe. Or if he's dead. I'd like to know that, too. It's the not knowing thing that freaks me out the most, but mostly not knowing where Daddy is. He should be here by now. He should have been here months ago.
I'm not supposed to be doing this without him.
I'm not supposed to be doing this at all.
-x-
On October ninth, I wake up to Andrea yelling. I rub the sleep from my eyes and slip on a pair of flip flops I'd left by my bed, not bothering to throw on a sweatshirt. I make casually make my way downstairs and begin to increase my speed when Maggie, too, starts yelling.
"What the hell is going on?" I ask when I reach the foyer, but nobody is there. The yelling is coming from the backyard.
What I see when I look out the patio door enrages me. Walkers, at least thirty five of them, have made themselves comfortable in my yard. The barn door is open but I try not to focus on it, instead muttering shit under my breath and looking around for something, anything, to kill them with.
"'Bout time you showed up," Shane grumbles from next to me. "Here," he hands me a small pistol and turns the safety off. "Aim for the head and try not to kill anything that's not dead."
"Asshole," I reply after he walks away. It's too early to be dealing with this. The urge to aim the gun at the back of his head slowly fades away the further he gets from me and I slowly and steadily aim for a walker making its way towards Andrea.
I manage to actually get it in the head and it goes down quickly. Andrea looks at me with wide eyes and forms the words thank you with her mouth. I nod and take care of at least six more walkers before they're all officially dead.
Glenn and Maggie are covered in blood, having used baseball bats, knives, and pitchforks to kill walkers. Andrea is catatonic, sitting on the ground with her knees to her chest, only a small screwdriver laying on the hard ground next to her. Shane is standing with his hands on his hips, occasionally rubbing the top of his scalp and surveying the damage.
I can't stop my feet from moving towards the barn. I need to know if my cows are gone, if my life just got a hell of a lot more complicated.
They're all gone. All six of them, even Betsy, have torn open midsections with intestines spilling out. Blood is everywhere.
"Fuck," I whisper, and it's the first time I've said the word since I was eleven and Mama washed my mouth out with soap for being such a vulgar girl.
You're supposed to be a lady, Emma. Start talkin' like one.
"Fuck," I say it again. Tears well up in my eye ducts and with another glance at Betsy, I let them fall. The only living thing I had left of Mama's is gone and definitely not coming back. Unless walker cows exist.
"The lock was open," Shane says. "It was open and I don't know how. I was the last one in here and I closed it up tight. I swear, Emma, I..."
"It's fine, Shane." Sniffling, I wipe my face with both hands and take a deep breath. "It's fine. There's probably a fault in the walls. I'll figure it out. Right now, I just...I just need to sit down."
So I do. I sit next to Betsy and stroke her fur, thinking about Mama and Daddy and how it came to be like this. For the first time since Shane, Andrea, Glenn, and Maggie came into my life, I feel alone.
It's exactly how I remembered it.
-x-
There's frost on the grass when he wakes, a gust of freezing wind causing him to curse from the cold. His boots leave footprints in the wetness so he shakes them away with his palm after each step. Nobody needs to know that he's gone.
Forty paces straight, six paces left, seventy paces straight, three paces right.
The paper is there, where he expects it to be. He reads it, looks around, and scribbles more notes on its surface before putting it back behind the tree bark where he found it.
One week to go.