Yays I managed to update on time. Not that it should have been all that hard to do. Anyways a special message for those people who have read my fic 'friends?' I have just edited the whole story so far and replaced the old chapters. I have been working on that story a fair bit lately and I have gotten two chapters written and will be working on the third today. I will post chapter 11 as well as the update for this on Christmas Day. Anyways enjoy!

Oh wait I should probably mention that the warnings I had in chapter one well… you were warned.

***

Matt woke up an hour later to the sound of someone knocking on the door. He opened his eyes with a wide smile on his face he looked over. His face fell as he realised his love was missing and so he got out of bed and checked the bathroom. Seeing the blonde was not there either he dressed quickly and ran to the door. Something was wrong. Wrenching it open he looked at L's surprised face.

"Have you seen Mells?" Matt demanded instantly.

"That was what I was going to ask you," L said with a frown. "I thought he'd be in here." He felt like something was wrong. "I'll check the cameras..." something told him that Mello had gone outside. He wasn't sure what it was, but he was worried.

"Are you ok?" Light asked sounding concerned as L left.

"I don't know… I had this real bad feeling before I went to sleep because Mells was acting real strange and now he's gone…" Matt dragged his fingers through his hair harshly and Light leant down to hug Matt gently who returned it gratefully.

"It will be ok. I'm sure Mello will be fine. Let's go check on L, 'k?" Light murmured and lead the boy to the camera room. "Found anything?" L nodded, looking at the screen. It was paused footage of Mello leaving the building.

"This was about an hour ago," He said quietly. "I say we give him another ten minutes to get back, and if he doesn't, we go looking for him. It could be as simple as he needed some air. However, it is quite a dangerous city." L was incredibly worried. His face was paler than usual.

"I can't check to see what he took. I disabled the cameras in your rooms. Both to afford you privacy and to protect me from seeing something I'd rather not." Matt dropped to the floor suddenly, burying his face in his hands.

"Why...? Why did he do this? Why did he run away…?" Matt murmured, his whole body shaking.

L shook his head, "I don't know. But we can ask him when we find him." He stood from the seat he was sat in and moved to the exit of the room. "I think we should start looking..." He was getting really worried. He looked at Matt, "We'll find him," He said before leaving the room.

"Matt, I know you want to come, but it would be better if just me and L go. You can help Watari scan the traffic cameras to see if they caught Mello on them," Light said and hugged Matt gently. L was stood by the door, but he turned around and looked at Matt.

"He's right... We already have one of you outside, we don't need another. You stay here with Near. We'll bring him back." With that said, he headed out of the room and down the stairs. He should've known something like this would've happened. He should've locked the doors, he should've seen this coming. He knew Mello. He knew how emotionally unstable the young blonde was. But still, Mello was out there, and he was quite possibly in danger. L tried not to remind himself of how feminine Mello was, or how pretty most people saw him. He tried not to think of what type of people were out there.

"Hey, L let's go and look for Mello, it will be ok. We'll find him," Light said and stepped out into the night air. "Come on." Nodding, while tying to hide his fear, L followed Light outside. He'd already figured that it would be better if they searched on foot. He'd figured out the direction Mello would've run in, and started them out that way. He didn't speak, not sure on what to say. Also, he didn't trust his voice not to tremble. Light followed after L, remaining silent too as he was not sure what to say that would be of any use. Suddenly, someone placed their arm around Light, grinning. He reeked of alcohol.

"Hey babe, wanna come have some fun?" He asked Light, not even seeming to notice the dark glare L was sending him.

"I'll go on ahead," L mumbled, wanting nothing more than to find his lost boy.

"Little busy… Ryuzaki don't leave me," Light cried as he tried to break free of the man. The man was rewarded with a kick in the face by L, who'd dropped to the ground and kicked up as soon as he realized what the man's intentions were. Standing, L looked at Light.

"Come on. We don't have time for this." He'd just had proven what kind of people were out at this time.

"Thanks Ryuzaki," Light panted and they set off again.

"Just hurry up." By this time, L was incredibly worried about Mello. "We don't have time for these...distractions." He stopped suddenly, hearing something from an alleyway. Taking off at a sprint, he headed towards the source of the sound. Sobbing. He could hear sobbing. Part of him was afraid that that was Mello, that he had some reason to cry, but another part hoped that it was Mello, and that at least he was alive. He ran into the alleyway and cried out at what he saw. Mello was sat there, pushing himself as far as he could into a corner, his clothes torn and ruined. His trousers had been removed and were on the other side of the alleyway, and Mello obviously hadn't gone to get them. Under the boy was a puddle of what L would rather not identify, but the smell was memorable enough.

"Mello..." Mello looked up at him, tears falling down his face. He had scratches and bruises all over his visible skin. Even in the darkness of the alley, L could see this. "Oh my god, Mello..." He ran over to the blonde, freezing as the boy flinched away.

"Mello, it's okay... It's me...I'm not going to hurt you." He was choking up by now, tears coming from his own eyes. The boy was still sobbing, his arms across his chest as if protecting himself.

"I tried to stop him..." Mello sobbed out. "I tried. I'm sorry." At this, L's heart broke and he found himself collapsing to the ground in front of Mello.

"M-Mello..." Light froze for an instant before reaching into his pocket and drawing out a phone and calling Watari immediately.

"Hey Watari, we found Mello. It doesn't look good…" Light continued to talk to Watari for a moment to give directions as to where he could get them before shoving the phone in his pocket and stumbling over to the to the two other males. Light's heart pounded in his chest as he watched on. L was just sat there, staring at Mello as tears fell down his eyes. Mello kept apologizing, not saying what it was for, just saying 'I'm sorry' over and over. After a moment, L shook his head.

"No Mello... it's not your fault..." He said. He was sobbing now. "I'm sorry... I should've taken better care of you..." Light walked over to the road, just as Watari drove around the corner. The old man was out of the car in an instant and raced over to L and Mello.

"I came as quickly as I could," Watari said kneeling beside the two. As soon as Watari tried to get near Mello, he shied away. It took a lot of calm talking from L for Mello to get in the car. He climbed into the passenger seat and curled in on himself. L turned to Light.

"I'll go with Watari to the hospital. Mello needs an examination. You go and get Matt and Near. Take Near to your parents, ask them if they wouldn't mind taking care of him for a short while. Then call me. I'll tell you where exactly we are so you can bring Matt." There were no traces of emotion in L's voice as he spoke. Mello just sat staring out of the window, not looking at anyone. Light nodded and went to take off towards the building, but Watari stopped him.

"Light, I will drop you off on the way, ok?" Watari grabbed Light and brought him back over to L and Mello.

"Mello needs immediate attention. We can't afford the time it would take," L objected. "The head quarters are only two blocks away. You could get there in a few minutes." Watari opened the door and almost pushed Light inside.

"No, I will not allow you to risk the same thing happening to Light because we could not spare the extra minute it would take to drop Light off at the hotel," Watari said firmly and opened the door for L and Mello. "As you said, it is only two blocks away, so get in the car and we will leave." Nodding, L got into the car. He didn't look at Light as they got in. It was a silent drive to the hotel.

***

Once they dropped Light off, they headed towards the hospital. Mello had yet to say anything to anyone, and L was getting more and more worried. When they got to the hospital, L explained to the nurse what happened. The police were called, and Mello was taken to a private room to be examined. This was made hard by the fact that he wouldn't let anybody touch him, but due to the fact that the hospitals had encountered such behaviour before, the tests were eventually carried out. The psychologist was talking to Mello while the police were talking to L. L told them exactly what happened, and where it was, and the police went to check out the scene. They said they'd be back soon to get a statement from Mello.

Watari waited patiently for Light's phone call. When that finally arrived he told L before leaving to collect Matt and Light. Matt was in a horrible state when he arrived, but Light seemed to be doing a wonderful job at soothing him. A couple of minutes later they were back at the hospital and Watari left to inform L. L nodded when Watari told him. He was sat in the waiting room while the psychiatrist talked to Mello. The blood tests wouldn't be in for another half hour at least, and when they were, the doctors were going to discuss this further with L. He was freaking out about this. When Matt and Light came into the room, he refused to look at either of them.

Light tried hard to ignore this fact, refusing to admit that small action had hurt him and continued to murmur soft words to Matt. Matt was torn too between the desire to race to Mello's side and stay as far away from the blonde as possible and his heart ached at the injustice of it all. When they were told that they could go in, L led the way. Once he was in the room, he took one look at Mello and nearly bolted. The blonde was crouched like L usually was, not letting his ass touch the bed. He was staring at nothing, just holding his legs and shaking slightly. L sat down next to Mello's bed and just waited. He'd let the boy decide when he wanted to speak.

Meanwhile Light drew Matt aside and sat at the furthest seats from the bed. It felt like there was a barrier around L and Mello that Light couldn't breach and it scared him. After a while, Mello looked at Matt. He saw how far Matt was sitting from him, and burst into tears. He didn't like the idea that Matt thought he couldn't come near Mello. Because Mello was tainted. Dirty. L saw this and moved closer to the bed. He sat down next to Mello, but didn't touch him. He looked to Light and Matt to leave. He needed to speak to Mello alone.

Matt saw Mello's tears and ignoring L, moved over to the bed, "Mells I love you, always." Mello didn't know what to do. He wanted to be held by Matt, but he didn't want to be touched, he was confused. He just nodded, reaching up to wipe his tears. L stood and gently placed a hand on Matt's shoulder.

"Let me talk with him. Please," He said.

"Ok, but Mells know that I will be back the second you need me no matter what," Matt said sincerely as his hands fidgeted with a keychain game as he itched to comfort Mello. After one last lingering look, Matt walked over to Light and the two left the room.

***

Mello and L talked for a good half an hour. When they had done, Mello requested that Matt be brought in. He wanted to talk to him alone. Mello had calmed down quite a bit, and L was inclined to allow it. He exited the room and told Matt to go in. He then took a seat near the room. He didn't look at Light, but it wasn't obvious avoidance. It was more like, he didn't notice him. He sat in his normal way on the chair, taking deep shuddering breaths.

This was all too much. His memories were rebelling and he was trying very hard to control his outward appearance. There were tear tracks on his face, and it was obvious that whatever he'd been talking to Mello about had been hard. Light looked over and slowly moved to sit beside L and reaching out a gentle hand to rub L's back. It tore at his heart to see L in so much pain but he didn't know how to relieve it. L jumped when Light touched him. He flinched away as if he'd hit him before throwing an apologetic look at the other.

"Sorry...just...not right now..." he mumbled. His memories were far too recent for him to be comfortable being touched. He once again lapsed into silence, holding his own knees close. Light gasped as though he had been kicked in the stomach rather than a simple flinch and his eyes widened in shocked pain. He didn't know what to do so instead he waited and watched.

***

Meanwhile Matt had just sat down in the chair next to Mello's bed and he fought the tears that burned at his eyes as he watched Mello silently.

"Matt...I..." Mello didn't know what to say. He was sat in that strange way, looking at the other. Eventually, he let his head fall and he bit his lip before speaking. "I'm sorry." He said softly. "I-I shouldn't have ran away... I freaked out..." He held his knees closer. "And now... after that happened... now I'm dirty, tainted. I'm sorry." Tears began to fall again, but at least he wasn't sobbing this time. He understood, he really did understand why Matt wouldn't want to touch him. Matt's eyes widened.

"Mells please, I love you just as much as I always have. It was not your fault and you are not dirty or tainted or any of that. You are beautiful and I love you. Please don't be sorry for something that wasn't ever your fault. If you were wondering why I haven't touched you yet, it is because I didn't think you would want me to, not because I haven't wanted to. It is tearing me apart to see you hurting so badly and not be able to touch you." Mello looked up at Matt, his eyes wide and trusting. He reached a hand forward for Matt. He wanted so bad to be held by the other, but he wanted to just take it one step at a time. Just one small step, after another. He wasn't sure himself how far he was able to go right now.

Matt smiled softly and he slowly reached back, allowing their hands to brush, giving Mello the option to hold it or not. He didn't want to rush the other but at the same time ached to be closer. Mello gripped Matt's hand, holding it tightly. He pulled on it gently, wanting Matt to come closer. A hug. He could handle that, right? Matt wouldn't get mad if Mello freaked out... would he...? Matt squeezed Mello's hand gently and allowed himself to be pulled closer but wanted Mello to be the one to initiate the hug.

It'd never been so hard before, to gently place his head on Matt's shoulder. It was hard to do this time, incredibly so. But when he had, and he'd put his arms around Matt, he felt so much better, safer. Clutching onto Matt tightly, he allowed himself to sob, the anguish and hatred for what had happened to him all coming out at once. Slowly, Matt returned the embrace, stroking Mello's back softly. He had never been as proud of Mello as he had been then.

***

Outside that room, L was having difficulty keeping his emotions in check. After a few minutes, he stood abruptly, covering his nose and mouth with his arm.

"Sorry, I gotta- I can't..." He rushed in the direction of the bathrooms, barely making it in time before he threw the contents of his stomach up. His memories were getting stronger. He couldn't help but think on them. After throwing up the entire contents of his stomach, he wiped his mouth with toilet paper and flushed the chain. He then sat leaning against the wall of the cubicle, tears pouring down his face. He couldn't do this... it was too much. Mello shouldn't have had to go through that. It was a horrible thing. And what was worse... Mello had told him that he'd only missed the guy by about two minutes. If L had gotten up earlier... or if Light hadn't held them up by being unable to just tell that guy to fuck off... L shook his head. It was ludicrous. That hadn't been Light's fault. He was just too damn fine for anyone to resist. Still... a part of him blamed Light.

***

Light found himself fighting tears and he collapsed on the floor. A part of him knew that L shouldn't be suffering this badly, but the utter helplessness he felt was more than he could take. He would though for L's sake as well as the sake of his future son. After a while, the floor was getting quite uncomfortable for L. He stood up, cleaned himself up as much as he could before returning to sit next to Light. He didn't say anything. Light didn't speak either; he wouldn't know what to say anyway. He was relieved that L was feeling better now. L's tears had stopped, but he didn't felt all that better. Every time he closed his eyes, he remembered what had happened to him. Was Mello going to grow up like this? After a short while, L stood up again.

"Sorry." He mumbled before moving to the exit. On the way out, he visited the in-hospital store.

As he lit up his cigarette outside, (a nasty habit he'd picked up just after his own incident. He thought he'd given it up, but now, more than ever, he needed a smoke), he briefly wondered if Light was going to follow him. Part of him wanted him to, to know that he did care, but another part of him, a bigger part, was afraid that if he let Light get too close, he'd wind up hurt. So L wasn't sure what he wanted. Light followed L anyway, he could see clearly that L was in pain and even if his words or touch couldn't help, maybe his presence alone would be enough to show L that he wasn't alone. He didn't want L to think that he would abandon him now that things were a little tough.

Light froze though when he saw the cigarette and he felt momentarily sick that L could so such a thing to himself. Not bothering to announce his presence Light simply sat down near L but on the on the side that the smoke wasn't being blown towards. L looked towards Light, a little thankful. After a moment, he stubbed his cigarette out and let out all the smoke that was in his lungs. He sat down next to Light and just stared ahead. He didn't know what to say to the other, how to act around him. It was strange, he'd always been so comfortable around the younger man.

And now he felt like he was a stranger. Not Light. But L himself. After another minute of silence, L lit up another smoke. His hands were shaking, and when he took that first drag, it was heaven. He found himself sighing out the smoke and calming down. Light was shaking too but not enough to be noticeable. The look in L's eyes was so far from what he had been used to that he felt like he was sitting with a complete stranger rather than his fiancé.

***

So times are getting darker for Light and L and poor Mello. If you get a chance please review as they are always appreciated.