(Mario Party, Nintendo, and any mentioned works of fiction or products to not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. This is just a story written for fun.)
Episode 4: Toad of the Jungle
Location: Shy Guy's Jungle Jam
Game: Mario Party 4
Team Royal Green: Daisy, Koopa, Rosalina, King Boo, Petey Piranha
Team W-Shell: Koopa Kid, Yoshi, Hammer Bro., Boom-Boom, Toadette
Team Zero: Blooper, Shy Guy, Dry Bones, Waluigi, Dry Bowser, Birdo
Bowser was sitting around in the Koopa Kruiser, talking out loud.
"Okay, so I had them bake cakes for Wendy's birthday. They were all terrible, but she liked Team W-Shell's the most, and I booted Luigi out of Team Royal Green and into the dungeon, but then either he or Wario got out."
"You told me this, sir." said a Goomba. "Oh by the way, the Party Cube is coming into view."
"Excellent! Fly right into it!"
…
Team Royal Green:
The team was one man down. Daisy was sitting by herself, annoyed at King Boo and Petey. Rosalina was reading a book, Petey was asleep, King Boo was playing catch with a ball, though using his tongue. The one most focused on the mission was Koopa, who was looking out the window.
"Huh. Looks like we're going into the Party Cube. I remember the tropical shirt that thing gave me. I miss it."
…
Team W-Shell:
"Maybe getting rid of Wario was the kick our team needed! Now I'll fly straight to the top!" Koopa Kid was still satisfied with his win last time.
Hammer Bro. was too busy polishing his hammer to listen, and Yoshi was asleep.
"That's great." Toadette said. "But things still went a bit worse than they should have, so let's not get careless."
"Toadette right."
"What's wrong with you, Boom-Boom? Ever since we've formed this team, you've been taking Toadette's side over mine all the time! You're not becoming some goody-goody like her, are ya?"
"Boom-Boom tired of listening to Koopa Kid. Toadette nice to Boom-Boom. Minion just Boom-Boom's job."
"I don't believe my nonexistent ears! Wait 'til King Bowser hears about this!"
"Boom-Boom not afraid of Bowser."
Toadette raised an eyebrow. "Boom-Boom, are you really turning to the good side?"
…
Team Zero:
Blooper, Waluigi, Shy Guy, and Dry Bones were playing cards. The octopus spoke first.
"Didn't think I'd say this, but if you hadn't remodeled the crummy cake, we would have lost. So… thanks Waluigi, I guess."
Dry Bones raised a finger. "Though we'd have had a much better kitchen set-up if you didn't lose Hot Rope Jump, so I guess it evens out." Waluigi was not amused.
"Well hey, we might've had a better shot if you didn't tell us that crummy recipe!"
"Like, Shy Guy, what's with the hat and coat?" Birdo noticed that Shy Guy was dressed up as an explorer once more. Dry Bowser rolled the glowing lights in his eye sockets.
"Since we're going to the Party Cube, he's trying to look the part like he did last time."
…
Everyone found themselves on a bunch of metal walkways going all around and through a jungle floating in midair. Bowser and Toad lowered down in their respective copters.
"Bwahaha! Get ready to be caught in a jam! Shy Guy's Jungle Jam!"
"Ooh, you must've been up all night, thinking of that one." Blooper joked.
"King Bowser! King Bowser! A report! Boom-Boom doesn't want to be one of your inserts anymore!"
"What? Boom-Boom, is this true?"
"Boom-Boom like Toadette and Yoshi. And Hammer Bro. a little." admitted the brute.
"Grrrrrr!" Bowser started roaring and spit a fireball randomly in aggression. "Well fine! Be that way! You, Koopa Kid, and Dry Bowser would have been spared the dungeon if you'd have lost, but you've just lost that mercy! You're nothing to me now, just the same as all the other players, minus Koopa Kid and Dry Bowser!"
Dry Bowser was relieved that Bowser was still unaware of the fact that his skeletal incarnation had already decided to abandon him as early as Magma Mine. Only his team was aware of this, and they all kept the secret for him.
"Toad, I'm too frustrated to tell them how to play the dumb game! You're in charge today! Raaaar!" Bowser flew off. Toad took command.
"Okay! The bridge to the other side of the jungle is flooded due to the wrath of the Idol Guy. All three of you have miniature statues that you'll need to place in the right place in the temple on the other side of the flooded river! First one to put it on the altar wins!"
Daisy noticed that the statues were differently sized, but all resembled a typical Shy Guy. One was small enough to fit in the hand, one was the size of a normal Shy Guy, and the other was roughly the size of Donkey Kong.
"Uh… Dibs on the small one?"
"Nope! You all have to play a mini game! Pick your players! Winner gets to pick which statue their team takes care of, and so on."
…
Team Royal Green:
"Petey, I still think you should have been voted to the dungeon, so I say you compete in the mini game!" Daisy was furious. "Besides, if we end up having to carry the big statue, I'm sure you can do it."
"… 'Kay."
…
Team W-Shell:
Yoshi was jumping around, waving his hand. Toadette nodded.
"All right Yoshi, you can do it. Good luck!"
…
Team Zero:
"NOT IT!" Waluigi screamed instantly. "Wahaha! Now someone else has to play!"
Blooper eyed Shy Guy. "Say Shy Guy, this is your old board, why not be the one who plays?" To this, Shy Guy shrugged. He was cool with it.
…
Game: DK's Banana Bonus
Players: Petey, Yoshi, Shy Guy
Instructions: Collect more bananas than your opponents to win, using barrel cannons!
Controls: A (jump), Joystick (aim landing)
Tips: "Keep an eye out for the golden barrel cannon, it'll take you to an exclusive area full of extra bananas!"
DK beat his chest and started making gorilla noises, signaling for the three players to begin playing. Petey was not having good luck, as he was so big that his barrel could not launch him.
"Um… Oh no."
Shy Guy was having a blast (no pun intended), and Yoshi was as well. Yoshi used his tongue to grab extra bananas, so Shy Guy took a cue from him and whipped out a whip in order to do the same.
"Man, I am seriously out of luck here." Petey summed up his situation. He tried squeezing and squirming, but was trapped good. "Well I guess I know which statue I'm gonna be carrying…"
Yoshi managed to get the gold barrel cannon and grab the giant banana bunch, sealing the deal for Team W-Shell.
"Yoshi!"
…
The game ended and Toad approached everyone else. "Okay Team W-Shell! Pick a statue!"
"Small one! Small one!" Everyone on Team W-Shell went. Their wish was granted and they got the littlest statue.
"Team Zero?"
Shy Guy pointed at the medium-sized one.
"Okay! That leaves Team Royal Green with the large one!"
"Yeah kinda saw that coming." Petey said.
"Remember! Carry them across the river and to the proper point at the top of the temple's interior before the others to win! Good luck!" Toad then flew away in his clown copter.
Birdo called after Toad. "Like, what if they break?"
"They're too hard for that! Bye!"
…
Team Royal Green:
"I have a solution for crossing the bridge. Even with my powers diminished, I can briefly levitate others." Rosalina stated. "So Petey can carry the statue while I levitate first Koopa, then Daisy. King Boo and I can hover, so that will be no challenge."
"Way ahead of you!" King Boo was already halfway across. "Come on Petey, let's go!"
"I'm frying azh fahsht ash I can! Thish tashtesh awhul!" Petey said with his mouth full, flying across the river. Rosalina already started levitating Koopa across.
…
Team W-Shell:
Despite having a statue that was easier to carry, the team found that they could not cross the river so easily. Toadette was stumped.
"Koopa Kid, got any ideas?"
"I do!" said Hammer Bro. From atop a rock, he threw a hammer tied to a rope across the river. It caught on a branch. "Yes! Thank goodness this model of hammer has pronounced claws! Its original intent was actually-"
Koopa Kid pushed Hammer Bro. to shut him up, but the helmeted turtle ended up swinging across to the other side.
"Aw man, we should've given him the statue!" Koopa Kid complained. "Hey dinosaur, got any ideas?"
Yoshi nodded. He swallowed Koopa Kid, who was holding the statue. He then swallowed Toadette and Boom-Boom, laying three eggs. Yoshi threw the first one.
"Yoshi!"
"What? Catch? Why-" Hammer Bro. got egged with the Koopa Kid/statue egg. The Toadette and Boom-Boom eggs landed nearby. All three hatched as Yoshi flutter-jumped across the river. "Good thing I'm wearing a helmet."
Toadette looked horrified. "Yoshi… please never do that again…"
…
Team Zero:
"Come on guys! Both of the other teams crossed the river already! We've got to think of something!" Dry Bowser was getting impatient, but then Birdo had an idea.
"I know!"
She spit an egg in the direction of the other side of the river. Shy Guy got the hint and jumped on, riding the egg across the river to the other side. Both of the skeletons as well as Waluigi rubbed their chins. Each of them rode eggs, whereas Blooper just floated across.
"All right! Dry Bowser, keep the statue in your ribcage so it's-a safe!" Waluigi said.
"I don't have it."
"… Don't tell Waluigi…" the purple man muttered. Indeed, Birdo still had the statue. She blushed.
"I thought that, like, one of you would remember…"
Dry Bowser roared in anger. "Well that's just great! Now what are we gonna do?"
Shy Guy noticed a tree branch hanging over the river. He then got a bright idea. The little man pulled out his whip and had it wrapped around the branch. After precise planning on how to swing around to grab the statue and come back, he commenced.
Unfortunately, the branch snapped almost instantly, sending Shy Guy hurdling down the river in a panic. Waluigi, Dry Bowser, Dry Bones, and Blooper groaned at once.
"Like, how about I throw it?" Birdo shoved the statue in her snout and shot it out, hitting Waluigi right in the head, knocking him out.
"Graaaaa!" Dry Bowser picked up the statue and slung Waluigi over his shoulder. "Let's just go already! He never said we all had to make it to the end!"
…
Team Royal Green/Team W-Shell:
"Come on Petey, get a move on!" Daisy was yelling at Petey, who had stopped upon reaching shore, and needed to catch his breath. Rosalina stepped in.
"Daisy, I know you are upset, but we need to work together. I've never heard of grudges and good teamwork coexisting on the same team."
"I guess… I just can't believe we got rid of Luigi instead of him!"
Team W-Shell ran past.
"Nyah-nyah!" Koopa Kid taunted, running. Yoshi and Hammer Bro. followed, but Toadette and Boom-Boom stayed behind.
"Hey are you guys okay?" the mushroom girl asked.
"Toadette, come on!"
"Um… talk to you guys later?" Toadette and Boom-Boom went to catch up with their teammates. King Boo was confused.
"So we're just letting them pass us now? Rosie, can't you levitate that thing?"
"I would appreciate being referred to by my full name. I am able to levitate the statue, though it is larger than Daisy or Koopa Troopa, which would make it harder. I would also need to focus, which would require staying in place. Levitating the statue with my powers would not be recommended."
Koopa was standing around, when he suddenly felt a pebble hit the back of his head. He turned around and noticed a train of coins. Greed and curiosity combined led Koopa to notice that the coins had led him to a shop.
"Guys, maybe we can buy something that will help!"
…
Team W-Shell:
A Shy Guy mask carving on the temple entrance lit up. "GREETINGS TEAM W-SHELL. TO ENTER, THOU MUST ANSWERETH A RIDDLE. IS THIS THE ANSWER?"
"… What?" Koopa Kid didn't get it.
"No! The answer is a hammer! Or hammers! Hammers are the answer for everything!" said the one person who would think of hammers at a time like this. "Like this hammer, made by the almighty H-"
"NAY."
Toadette shrugged. "Is the answer no?"
"NAY."
"Yes?"
"NAY."
"Gaah!" Koopa Kid threw a fit. "This is stupid! We can't answer because you never told us what you're talking about!"
"INDEED. THOU HAST SOLVED THE RIDDLE."
A stone warp pipe appeared before Team W-Shell, and they jumped in.
…
Team Zero/Team Royal Green:
Dry Bowser was still carrying his team's statue and Waluigi as he, Dry Bones, and Blooper made it to the temple. But then a rainbow glow caught the three of them, forcing them to swap places with Team Royal Green.
"Man, good thing you found that shop, Koopa!" Daisy was impressed.
Koopa looked back on the experience. "The weirdest part was that the trail of coins was the exact amount we needed for the Warp Block. Talk about a lucky coincidence."
"GREETINGS, TEAM ROYAL GREEN. WHAT WALKS ON NO LEGS BEFORE THE BATTLE, THEN TWO OR FOUR LEGS AFTER THE BATTLE?"
Rosalina got it. "One day the Lumas were all asking each other riddles. The answer is a Paratroopa."
"YEA, IT IS A PARATROOPA. YOU MAY ENTER."
A stone warp pipe appeared under the team, just as Team Zero ran up.
"Into the pipe!"
Dry Bones jumped for the pipe, but it disappeared as soon as he got near it, causing the skeleton to scatter. Luckily, his bones reconnected.
"Ouch."
"GREETINGS, TEAM ZERO. SOLVETH MY RIDDLE TO ENTE-"
Dry Bowser crashed through the wall, leaving an opening. Dry Bones and Blooper were in utter shock.
"WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND THERE, BOZOS! LET'S GO!"
"Uh, right!" The two of them hurried in.
…
The temple was very Shy-Guy themed.
"Bwahaha! Now let's get to the top before those chumps do!" At that point, Blooper pointed something out to Dry Bowser: the fact that the stone pipes lead the other two teams higher up in the temple than the ground floor, where Team Zero currently was. "… ROOOOOOOAR! We have no way of reaching them now!"
…
Team W-Shell/Team Royal Green:
The stone pipes lead both teams up towards the top of the temple. They were on a stone spiral staircase headed up, but there was a missing chunk of stairs.
"Owowowowow!" Yoshi moaned. Koopa Kid agreed.
"Well that's just great! How are we going to get across now?"
Petey flew overhead, statue in mouth, chuckling at his opponents. He was shortly followed by King Boo and Rosalina.
"Go on without us!" Daisy yelled. "These guys can't catch up, so you're good!"
"Oh yeah?" Koopa Kid took that as a challenge. He ran over to Yoshi and jumped onto his back. "Flutter! Flutter like the wind!"
"Wooow!" Yoshi ran to the edge and flutter jumped across.
Yoshi and Koopa Kid hurried on to catch up with Petey, King Boo, and Rosalina, leaving a mix of the other two teams behind. It was Koopa who broke the silence.
"… Now what?"
…
Team Zero:
The team had basically given up on winning this challenge.
"Well… Yeah we're not gonna make it." noted Blooper. "I can kind of try to float up, but I'd wear myself out before getting halfway to the stairs. Not to mention the added weight of the statue. So when we fail, I nominate we vote off Birdo. I never liked her."
Dry Bones shrugged. "Well we could get the Bonus Stars."
…
Team Royal Green/Team W-Shell:
Both teams made it to a big room at the top. Bowser Jr. lowered down in his small copter next to a golden statue with six arms. Petey and Koopa Kid were made to drop their statues.
"Heeheehee! Welcome to the Jungle Jam Temple! If you want to put the statues in place, you gotta beat up the guard first! Two guys from each team gotta play!" He then noticed that only two teams were represented. "Oh. Well I guess Team Zero snoozes and loses! Team W-Shell, pick one more person to come and fight the boss!"
"Hmm…" Koopa Kid started thinking. Yoshi suggested Boom-Boom, since he was the toughest. "No! I hate him, we can do just fine without him! Um… Hammer Bro.!"
"Owowowowow!" Yoshi did not like that idea. But Bowser Jr. had Hammer Bro. summoned in by way of warp pipe.
"What's going on? Did we win?"
"Crush 'em, Koloktos!" Bowser Jr. floated away, activating the statue.
…
Petey, King Boo, Rosalina
Vs.
Koopa Kid, Yoshi, Hammer Bro.
Vs.
Ancient Automaton: Koloktos
Game: Counter Kolokwise
Players: Petey, King Boo, Rosalina, Koopa Kid, Yoshi, Hammer Bro.
Instructions: There are twelve spots around Koloktos and each player may stand in one of two. He will then smash all six hands into the ground in one of the two spots in each of the six areas. Whoever isn't crushed gets a hammer to attack his weak point with!
Instructions 2: The number of team members available to hit Koloktos determine how many points the team gets that round.
Controls: Joystick (move), A (tap to swing hammer)
Tips: "There's no telling where his hands will hit, so just guess!"
As everyone gathered around Koloktos, these were the positions they could stand in, like hours on a clock:
Koopa Kid - 1/2 (on 1)
Yoshi - 9/10 (on 9)
Hammer Bro. - 11/12 (on 11)
Rosalina - 3/4 (on 3)
King Boo - 7/8 (on 7)
Petey - 5/6 (on 5)
On the first turn, everyone decided to stand still. Koloktos slammed all six fists down, crushing positions 1 (Koopa Kid), 4, 6, 7 (King Boo), 10, and 11 (Hammer Bro.).
"Yowch!"
"Drat!"
"He hit me like a nail!"
Rosalina, Petey, and Yoshi all got hammers and whaled on Koloktos's heart, weakening him. Eventually Koloktos raised all his fists and everyone re-evaluated their positions.
Koopa Kid - 1/2 (on 2)
Yoshi - 9/10 (on 9)
Hammer Bro. - 11/12 (on 12)
Rosalina - 3/4 (on 4)
King Boo - 7/8 (on 7)
Petey - 5/6 (on 5)
Koloktos lowered his fists onto 1, 3, 5 (Petey), 7 (King Boo), 10, and 12 (Hammer Bro.).
"Gaaah!"
"Drat!"
"He hit me like a nail!"
Rosalina, Koopa Kid, and Yoshi each went to town on Koloktos. When everyone got back to normal, that's when he got mad.
Team Royal Green: 3 points
Team W-Shell: 3 points
Koloktos pulled out a sword for each hand. Now player had less time to choose a spot.
Koopa Kid - 1/2 (on 2)
Yoshi - 9/10 (on 9)
Hammer Bro. - 11/12 (on 11)
Rosalina - 3/4 (on 4)
King Boo - 7/8 (on 8)
Petey - 5/6 (on 5)
Koloktos swung his swords onto 2 (Koopa Kid), 4 (Rosalina), 5 (Petey), 8 (King Boo), 9 (Yoshi), and 12.
"Yowch!"
"Ouch!"
"Gaaah!"
"Drat!"
"Waah!"
After celebrating being the only one not getting hit, Hammer Bro. not only used the hammer given to him, but also his own hammer to attack Koloktos. He did twice the work of a normal combatant. Everyone got back into position.
Koopa Kid - 1/2 (on 2)
Yoshi - 9/10 (on 9)
Hammer Bro. - 11/12 (on 11)
Rosalina - 3/4 (on 3)
King Boo - 7/8 (on 8)
Petey - 5/6 (on 6)
Koloktos was about to swing, but got hit in the head by a squeaky hammer, putting him in a temporary daze. This interference has allowed the players to reconsider their positioning.
Koopa Kid - 1/2 (on 1)
Yoshi - 9/10 (on 10)
Hammer Bro. - 11/12 (on 11)
Rosalina - 3/4 (on 3)
King Boo - 7/8 (on 8)
Petey - 5/6 (on 5)
Koloktos attacked 1 (Koopa Kid), 4, 6, 7, 9, and 11 (Hammer Bro.).
"Yowch!"
"He hit me like a nail!"
Petey, King Boo, Yoshi, and Rosalina each laid the smack down on Koloktos, finishing him.
FINISH!
Team Royal Green: 6 points
Team W-Shell: 5 points
…
Team Royal Green/Team W-Shell:
"So it looks like Team Royal Green won the game!" Bowser Jr. announced. "They get to put the statue away! If I were Koopa Kid, Yoshi, or Hammer Bro., I'd be nervous right now! I'll go tell my dad!"
Bowser Jr. flew off as Petey spit the large-sized statue out on the altar. It looked lonely without the other two statues.
Rosalina smiled. "We are victorious."
"We won the game! We won the game! We won the game 'cause we're not lame! WHOOOOOOOOOA!" King Boo and Petey cheered/taunted the other team.
…
Bowser had vented on a few Goombas and was back to his normal self. Everyone was gathered at the start of Shy Guy's Jungle Jam, including an incredibly soaked Shy Guy and newly reawakened Waluigi.
"Bwahaha! Nothing like hearing that only a few of you chumps even managed to make it to the end! But all that aside, Team Royal Green won today, so get to your airship!"
They did as told, leaving Team W-Shell and Team Zero behind. Toad then spoke up.
"The Bonus Stars! Today's stars are Travel Star, Happening Star, and Plus Star! The Travel Star goes to… Team Zero! Good thing for you guys that the river carried Shy Guy a long ways!"
Shy Guy shrugged.
"The Happening Star goes to… Team W-Shell! Which leaves the Plus Star! … Team W-Shell! Congratulations! Team Zero will stay behind and speak with Bowser."
Team W-Shell ran off.
"All right, who do you guys think you're better off without?
"I, like, want Shy Guy gone! He totally messed up swinging around on his whip!" said Birdo.
"Birdo!" everyone else said. Shy Guy merely pointed at her.
"What? Me? But why?"
"Well you were completely useless! You didn't think to tell us about the a-statue, and you hit me on the head!"
Blooper said, "So the boneheads and I all agreed in the temple that if we lost, we'd get rid of you since you couldn't defend yourself and you weren't doing any good for us."
"Bwahaha! A near-unanimous betrayal! I love it! Well Birdo, that's as far as you go!"
"Well then I guess I'll tell you about Dry Bowser! He- WAAAAAH!" She plummted, and this time Bowser made sure that the warp pipe disappeared, as the remaining members of Team Zero returned to their ship.
"I wonder what she had to say about Dry Bowser. … Oh well."
…
Bowser sat on his throne, when Bowser Jr. walked in.
"Dad! When the losers were fighting Koloktos, some jerk threw a hammer at him! I had Kamek look at it!"
"And?"
"It looked like the kind Luigi would use. But it had the Warioware brand on it!"
"Just great! So it could still be either Wario or Luigi! They both have reason to oppose me, too…"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know, I'm still upset about Boom-Boom! At least we got rid of that freak of nature, Birdo!"
"Dad… why don't we just go to the dungeon to see who's escaped?"
"Well with the remodeling… I kind of forgot where the dungeon is. Who cares! Now be quiet, I gotta think of ways to put more of 'em in the dungeon!"
...
Winners' Thoughts:
"Woohoo! We won! That one was for you, Luigi!" - Daisy
"Yay!" - Koopa
"It goes to show that even when at a disadvantage, you can come out on top." - Rosalina
"Hmm-hmm! Hmm! Hmm-hmm!" - Petey and King Boo
Losers' Thoughts:
"Meh, I can live without Birdo." - Blooper
*shrug* - Shy Guy
"Do I miss Birdo?" *shakes head, neck extends* "Nope-dot-a-v-i." - Dry Bones
"Now I don't have to a-help her keep track of her bows!" - Waluigi
"That idiot was about to give me away! Luckily, the rest of us work like a well-oiled machine." - Dry Bowser
…
To be continued.
…
Remaining Players: Daisy, Koopa, Rosalina, King Boo, Petey, Koopa Kid, Yoshi, Hammer Bro., Boom-Boom, Toadette, Blooper, Shy Guy, Dry Bones, Waluigi, Dry Bowser
Losers: Wario, Luigi, Birdo
A/N - It's purely a coincidence that each team has won, lost, and got second place once each. I just think of a goal, then improvise what the teams do to achieve it. I only put in Koloktos because I'd planned for Shy Guy to use his whip, but he didn't make it, so he never had a chance.
A/N - I may do more boss mini games in the future, this one was fun to write, and only mildly tricky to keep track of. I think that other than the fact that it was a Zelda reference, it would fit as a Mario Party 9 boss game.
A/N - I don't want to mess with canon characterization too much, but I figure Boom-Boom is minor enough for it to be acceptable. I hope people are all right with what I'm doing with him.
(If you so feel inclined, leave a review if you'd like. You don't have to, though. If you do review, know that I can take criticism. As long as you don't flame, you can tell me if you have any problems with the story. It could in fact help me improve the story and therefore improve your reading experience.)