Sorry this chapter is late, but I never got it back from my beta reader so you have to put up with my editing. Sorry. Anyways you may have noticed a chapter 16 went up a while ago but that wasn't the real chapter. I was just a moron and posted the chapter for Messages in a Dysfunctional Workplace here by accident' Anyway enjoy the real chapter.
Co-written by Interstella
***
Morning came, and L groaned. His head felt like it was trying to be somewhere else. The left hemisphere of his brain tried to go to India, while the right side of his brain wanted to be in Canada. He brought his hand up to massage his temples as he blinked his eyes open. Bad move. Screwing them closed again, he let out another groan.
That was when he became aware of the growing nausea. With a start, he launched himself off the bed and towards the bathroom. Light was up and following after L seconds later. He stood behind L to rub his back soothingly, holding L's hair out of his face as L emptied his stomach. Once L was done, Light guided L to sit down on the floor and went to fetch a glass of water and a couple of pain killers, before placing them on the bench. L was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed and his muscles relaxed. He'd long since learned to relax against pain. When Light came back with the painkillers, he took them silently before leaning back against the wall. He sighed.
"Sorry," He mumbled, his eyes still closed. The glass had been drained, and he left it beside him. Light took the glass and refilled it.
"How are you feeling?" Light asked softly as he returned. L just looked at Light with an expression that said 'what do you think?' He sighed after a moment.
"Like I've been hit with my plane," He mumbled, his eyes closing again.
"How much do you remember of last night?" Light continued his voice still quiet. L frowned and thought.
"We came to Paris.... ate at a restaurant..." He frowned deeper. "I- I don't remember much more..." he mumbled. He covered his face. "What did I do?" He asked a little anxiously.
"I wondered if you would remember and we didn't eat, I did and you watched. You instead skulled a glass of their strongest alcoholic drinks, I went out to the car while you paid though you probably had another drink while I waited. We got in the car, you had another drink. When we got here you could barely walk so I had to carry you to the hotel room. You went out to the balcony, I offered you a drink of water, but you refused in favour of more alcohol which you then offered to me, but I didn't take. We talked for a while and then you passed out and I put you in bed," Light summarised, knowing how bad it sounded and worried about how L would take it. L seemed to try and sink into the wall, his face screwed up in disgust.
"I'm sorry," He said softly. "Gods, I'm such an ass..." he mumbled. He looked up at Light. "Let's stay another day. Let me make this up to you..." he seemed disappointed in himself for what had happened.
"Ok," Light replied smiling. "Let's get you cleaned up now, ok? Just promise you will try to relax today and the day will be perfect." L smiled softly at Light before taking his head back into his hands and groaning softly.
"Just gimme a minute..." he mumbled, turning back to the toilet and throwing up again. Light knelt beside L to stroke the man's back again, brushing the hair from L's face with a cool, steady hand. After he finished puking his guts up, L cleaned his face with some toilet paper before throwing it in the bowl and flushing the chain. He then fell back heavily against Light. "Thanks," He mumbled. Light turned L slightly in his arms and pressed his lips to L's forehead.
"You're welcome my love." Smiling softly, L put his arms around Light, leaning into him, his head on his chest.
"You're too good for me," He mumbled, not realizing that it was what he'd been going on about the night before.
"And you're too good to me, so I guess we even each other out," Light murmured, squeezing L gently. L couldn't help but feel that this was too good to be true. That Light was too good for him, but he didn't want to say anything else. He just stayed in Light's arms, glad that he was there. His head was still pounding, but it seemed that the painkillers were kicking in.
"L, can I tell you the one thing that annoys me about you?" Light asked though he didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "It's that you always feel that I am too good for you, that for some strange reason you don't feel like you deserve me and it is affecting how I act around you. I want to be able to just say that you're wrong and you're perfect for me in every possible way, but you can never quite bring yourself to believe me, can you?"
"I'm sorry," L mumbled, leaning against Light. "I just...." he mumbled, "I just... don't- I honestly don't understand why you love me," He said quietly. "I really don't." He sighed and moved closer, "But, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. I just need to make myself good enough before someone better comes along."
"Damn it L, there is NO ONE better for me than you. I love almost every single thing about you. You are my most precious person and it hurts me that you can't let yourself see that. You don't need to change a single thing to be perfect in my eyes…" '…and I'm getting sick of having to repeat myself' Light almost finished but held himself back.
"My belief in this is something that is unlikely to change," He said softly. "I've never had anyone care for me like this before." He told Light. "I've never wanted to impress anyone before, to be perfect. It's never even crossed my mind before."
"I know and I am trying my best to correct that and I hope that one day you will be happy being who you are while you are with me. Did you ever think that I think you're perfect for being imperfect? That you're flaws make me love you even more," Light asked, resting his head against L.
L laughed slightly, "You should talk to Mello. He needs to hear that sort of thing more than me. He has more of an anger issue than me at the moment." He sighed softly and smiled a little. "I love you, Light. I really do. And I'm so happy that you love me back."
"Somehow I think that is already being taken care of," Light replied. "I'm glad that me loving you makes you happy, since I feel the same way about you loving me." L smiled softly. His head was still pounding, but he was feeling much better now. His stomach was settled. He stood, holding his hand out for Light.
"And I promise you; today I will be drinking milkshakes, soda, water, coffee, tea and anything other than alcoholic beverages," He said softly.
"Thank you," Light said and took L's hand in his own. "So what do you want to do today?"
"We're in Paris, the city of romance. I'm sure we'll find something..." L said with a smile. "There's a fair in town, and we can always climb the tower..."
"Sounds like fun, shall we get ready then?" Light asked, nuzzling L's head with his own. Nodding, L led Light into the other room.
"I take it you didn't bring more than one set of clothing...?" L asked with a small laugh. "Maybe we should go shopping first."
"Yeah, I was just about to ask about that," Light laughed.
L laughed. "Don't worry; nobody's going to look twice at two gay men walking around shopping in Paris." He headed to the door before looking around confused. "Where's the key?"
"Who said I was worried," Light teased and walked over to where he had placed the key the night before and handed it to L. "Can we shower first and you need to brush your teeth." Smiling sheepishly, L nodded and moved to the bathroom, pocketing the key on the way.
"You want to shower together? It'll be faster."
"Sure, though I don't exactly agree that it will be faster," Light laughed, remembering the last time they had showered together 'to save time'. L smiled and gently shook his head.
"I assure you, I'm in no condition to make our shower longer," He pointed out, his head still pounding.
"Ok," Light replied, smirking slightly and started to get undressed to get into the shower. L did the same, stepping into the shower. He turned the water on and smiled at Light, leaning past him for the soap. He covered himself in it and then cleaned himself off. He then turned to Light and smiled softly. He wanted to kiss Light, but he still tasted like vomit. Not a good idea. He handed him the soap.
"Here you go," He said.
"Thanks," Light replied and took the soap gratefully and lathered himself with it. Putting the soap down, he washed off the suds. L smiled softy, looking at Light. He stepped closer to him and gently turned him around. He then started to massage Light's back, his hands skilfully pressing into the muscles under the wet skin. Light moaned loudly, as felt L's fingers dig into his back and he let out a shudder as L hit a particularly sensitive spot. Keeping his fingers moving on Light's skin, L leaned forward to gently kiss the back of his neck. "It occurred to me that I owe you a massage," He said softly. "And after last night, I think you could do with one..."
"Well it feels, really… ahhhhhh… good," Light groaned, relaxing under L's talented fingers. L's heart skipped a beat when he heard Light groan. He leaned closer and pressed slightly harder, digging into the muscles. He'd actually been trained on how to do this. Now, he put all the training into use. Light was now a purring, panting pile of mush as he leant against the wall to steady himself. L's hands moved further down. He now started to massage Light's hips, moving closer to him. He then moved his hands even further down, to Light's ass. He moved closer, his body pressed almost completely against Light's.
"Are you liking this?" He asked.
"Oh god yes…" Light moaned as he leant back against L chest, his body moulding against L's. L sucked in a breath as Light moved against him, accidentally brushing against his member. He moved his hand forward, massaging Light's thighs –insides first, outside second. He then moved his fingers up and massaged the area between his genitals and his legs. Light let out a shuddering breath and he felt his knees weaken. L leaned closer and kissed Light's neck.
"Are you enjoying this?" he asked huskily. He was starting to feel quite 'happy' due to the closeness and Light's sounds.
"Yessssssssssss…" Light hissed, his neck falling to the side to allow L more access. Taking the initiative, L started to nibble at that part of Light's neck. His hands continued their massage before moving forward to gently stroke Light's member.
"Want me to get you off...?" He asked his voice deep with need.
"Please…" Light whimpered in reply, his skin tingling from the desire in L's voice. L suppressed a moan. His own member was rock hard against Light's arse, and the trembling was causing friction. His hand moved up and down Light's cock, fingering the slit before moving down again. His other hand carried on massaging the skin and muscle around Light's organ. This caused Light moan softly and a seductive smile flashed across Light's face. He leant further back against L as if to keep himself standing causing him to 'accidentally' grind against L's erection. L was nibbling Light's skin when he moved backwards and inadvertently bit a little too deep. Blood started to seep to the surface, and he lapped it up before sucking at the wound. He moved his fingers faster and pressed down harder. Light gasped as he tensed his muscles in reflex to the pain before it became overwhelmed by pleasure once more causing him to mewl. L sucked a bit harder before removing his mouth and looking down. He smirked a little as he saw a purple mark. That wasn't going to disappear any time soon. He moved his hand slightly faster, still massaging with the other hand. He lifted his chin to nibble at Light's ear before speaking to him.
"If you don't come soon, you're going to end up with a sore ass..." he warned.
"The way you're talking is making that sound like a bad thing…" Light purred. L rubbed his groin against Light's ass, moving his hand faster. The hand that was massaging his muscles moved down to cares his balls. He licked Light's neck again and purred into his ear.
"Come for me..." he said huskily. Light wouldn't have been able to hold on much longer anyway, but that voice… Crying out Light spilled into L's hand. Light's knees trembled as they tried to hold his weight, almost giving out. Smirking, L held Light to his chest, reaching out to take the detachable shower head and cleaned them off. He then put the showerhead back up and turned the water off. Carefully, he leaned against the wall and slid them both down it. He was still hard, but he was letting Light rest before he'd kick him out of the bathroom to finish the job himself. Smiling, he stroked Light's hair. "Feeling good?" He asked.
"Uh-huh," Light murmured and wrapped his arms around L. "Want me to help you out with that?" Light asked after a moment, nodding towards L's member.
L shook his head, "Its okay." He said softly with a smile. He didn't believe that he deserved it after the night before. "Today is all about you," He said softly. "Today is all about making you feel good. I'm going to make every day special."
"What if I want to…?" Light purred reaching down to rub thumb over the head of L's erection. L gasped and then gave a throaty moan.
"Well... if you want to... go ahead..." He mumbled opening his eyes and smiling at Light. "Today's for you." Light grinned before pushing L's legs apart and settling between them.
"Anything I want, right? Well I want this," Light practically moaned, his eyes glowing as he took the base of L's hard length in his hand, after steadying himself by placing his hand on L's thigh and parting his warm lips he took L into his mouth. L's eyes widened and he arched into the feeling. His member throbbed and his eyes slid closed.
"Hmmnn Light...." He moaned, his hands burying themselves in Light's hair. Light pressed down on L's hips and leant down to take in more before sucking on L gently, twirling his tongue around the heated flesh hungrily. Panting, L moaned again, trying to thrust his hips up. His head leaned back and his back arched off the wall. His hands started to run through Light's hair, urging him to do more. Moving his head up, Light grazed his teeth along the sensitive skin, nipping at the tip gently. Using the hand that was already wrapped around the base and tightening his fist he pumped his hand to cover the bits his mouth couldn't take in. Moving his head he licked up and around it and kissed the tip. Taking L in his mouth again he returned to long, hard sucks. The hand on L's thigh moved in closer to massage the skin nearer to L's erection. L was moaning and squirming. His hands in Light's hair gripped him tighter and he started shaking. "Mmmmnnn, C-close..." he tried to warn, coming a few seconds later with Light's name on his lips. Light swallowed the seed and let the limp penis fall from his lips, licking the excess off them. Sitting up he moved to sit beside L again and wrapped his arms around L's waist, his head resting on L's shoulder.
"How was that?" Light asked smiling. L was panting, a content smile on his face. He leaned against Light, his eyes closed and his body relaxed.
"Fuckin' good..." He whispered out, opening his eyes and looking at Light. He reached out to take his face in his hand, caressing it softly. He then leaned forward and kissed Light deeply…
…Well at least he would have if Light hadn't chosen that moment to pull back, scrunching his face up.
"Brush you teeth and use some mouth wash first," Light instructed. L nodded, smiling apologetically. He stretched and stood up, holding his hand out for Light. He smiled down at him. Light took it without hesitation, smiling back. Helping Light up, L pulled him into a hug before stepping back and heading to the sink. He brushed his teeth for quite a while before rinsing his mouth out with mouthwash. He then put the brush down and turned to Light, opening his arms. He wanted to kiss Light, to be held by him. Light spat out toothpaste too, rinsing his mouth out and putting his brush down. Done, he eagerly went into L's arms and wrapped his arms around L's neck. L leaned closer to Light and kissed him deeply, his arms around his waist. He pushed himself closer, thrusting his tongue into Light's mouth and running it along Light's tongue. He sighed softly into the kiss. Light clutched at L's hair as he returned the kiss fervently, playing with L's tongue with his own. Pulling back slightly, L smiled softly.
"I love you, so much," He said quietly. "What do you want to do today?" he asked.
"I love you too so very, very much," Light replied and leant forward to press a chaste kiss to L's lips before pulling away. "And I really don't know…"
"Want to climb the tower?" L was definitely feeling better then when he woke. He still had a headache. But he was glad that Light was smiling.
"Can we do it tonight or won't it be open?" Light asked curiously.
"It's always open for me," L said simply. He smiled at Light. "We can do that. Want me to call room service...? They do good pancakes here..."
"Sure, I'm really hungry," Light replied laughing. "You would be too, right?" L shook his head and shrugged.
"Not all that much." He moved to the phone, picking it up. "What would you like for breakfast? Think of anything and they'll likely have it." He held the phone to his chest, waiting for Light's response. Light thought for a moment before giving his answer and going to get dressed in the clothes he wore the night before except skipping the jacket and leaving a few buttons at the top undone. L ordered and put the phone down. When Light came back into the room, he pouted at the state of clothes. "You didn't have to get dressed," He mumbled, walking up to him and tugged at his shirt. "You look good without clothes." L himself was still naked.
"Yes I did or we would be tempted to stay here all day…" Light said grinning and paused "…and that really is tempting, but if we want to do anything today we probably should keep the clothes on." L pouted, gently stroking Light's chest and looked into his eyes. He smiled softly, reaching up to kiss him softly. He pulled away slightly and took a step back.
"Well... until we want to go somewhere, you'll have to get used to me dressed like this," He said with a smirk.
Light groaned. "That's the problem. I won't want to go anywhere with you like that." Giving up Light went and lay down on the couch face down so he wouldn't have to look at his tempting lover, his forehead resting on his crossed arms. Smirking a little, L moved to Light's side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder before straddling him.
"You seemed to enjoy this before..." He started to gently massage Light's back again. He pressed down a little deeper and leaned forward. "Enjoying it again?" He asked.
"Ngnnn… I am but remember what happened when we did this before?" Light reminded. "And you're just as naked this time too." L leaned even further down, nibbling on Light's ear.
"Are you saying it's a bad thing?" he asked into Light's ears. "You want me to stop?" He asked.
"As I said, it is if we want to leave the room today," Light replied moaning softly but didn't answer L's question.
"Just say the word, and I'll stop," L whispered, massaging Light's upper body. He then moved his hands down to his sides, massaging a muscle he knew was always tense. He licked Light's ear again before sitting up, still moving his hands. Light mewled and purred under L's touch, not even sure that he wanted L to stop as he rarely had massages and L was quite brilliant at them… Even if he did, have to fight to keep the image of L naked out of his mind. L kept his hands quite high, not wanting to provoke Light too much. After a while, he stopped and got off Light. The door had been knocked on. "You'll have to get the breakfast. Unless you don't mind someone else seeing me naked," He said with a smirk.
"No, you're mine," Light growled playfully, kissing L's cheek and went to get the tray of food left outside the room. Even though Light probably didn't mean for it to be so, L found those words incredibly hot. He moaned softly, and was waiting for Light to come back with breakfast. Light came back with the food a couple of seconds later and placed the tray on the table, before removing his food from it and sitting down. L sat there and watched Light.
"So..." he said after a moment, a smirk on his face. "You don't want to share me?" He asked, walking towards Light. He stood in front of him and smirked down at him. "But what if I want us to experiment...?" he asked seductively. "Wouldn't you enjoy a threesome?" Oh he was enjoying himself. He loved it that Light had become jealous at the idea of somebody else seeing him naked. Light gulped and kept his face determinedly down.
"Why on Earth would I agree to take part in a threesome?" Light said lowly. "You are everything I could ever want both in mind, heart and body. Why would I want to share those moments with someone else?" L smirked and moved closer to him. He sat next to him and leaned against him.
"I just found it cute when you got jealous about someone else possibly seeing me naked," He said with a smile. He was starting to believe what Light had been saying all this time. About him being someone special. He looked at Light's food and pulled a face. He really didn't feel hungry, even after he'd vomited everything he'd had in his stomach. He stood and moved to the pile of clothes in the corner. "When you're done with your food, we'll go shopping," He said with a smile, pulling the clothes on. Once L was done he looked over at L sounding annoyed.
"L, love, eat something or we aren't going anywhere," Light said stubbornly. "Your health comes before all things and you will feel better if you eat something." L rolled his eyes, not feeling at all hungry. He moved to the food near Light and took a single sausage. He downed it in one and then smiled at Light.
"Let's go," He said with a smile.
"I have to finish eating my food first," Light replied chuckling and returned to eating. L scrunched his nose.
"Okay," He sat next to Light and waited for him to finish his food. He lay down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. "Lemme know when you're ready."
***
Light finished about five minutes later and went to the bedroom and stood by the door.
"I'm done, but you should know that I am really worried about you not eating, please don't make a habit of it." L just smiled at Light.
"It's nothing to worry about. I'm alright." He moved closer to Light and hugged him. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll eat lunch with you," He said softly. "And I'll promise I'll eat." Light returned the embrace tightly, his face turning to bury in into L's neck, and breathing in deeply.
"If you're sure, thank you," Light murmured and kissed the soft skin beneath his lips.
"It's alright." He smiled, "C'mon." He took Light's hand and pulled him out of the room. "We got the keys?" He asked, holding the door open in case they didn't.
"They're on the bench," Light replied and let go of L's hand only long enough to grab them and raced back, kissing L's cheek as he took L's hand again. Smiling, L pulled himself into Light's side, putting his arm around his middle. He walked with him down to the elevators. "Let's go shopping." Light smiled and wrapped his arm around L's shoulders.
"Sure, let's go," Light agreed cheerfully. L led Light to a fancy store. They spent a few hours shopping until they came to one store which L insisted they enter.
"Stay out here," He said with a smile. A few minutes later, he came back out and smiled at Light, not showing him what was in the bag. "That's for later." He said with a knowing smirk. Light frowned but didn't press L for answers. L smiled and put his arms around Light's waist again.
"Lets go get some more clothes. I wanna see you in skinnies."
"Do you now?" Light replied grinning widely and leant against L gently. "Well if you insist…"
"Oh I insist," L said slyly, dragging him towards the shop. After a short while looking, he finally found the trousers he wanted Light to wear and pushed him into the changing rooms. "Put them on." He said with a grin. Light took the pants and after about five minutes came out to show L what the new ones looked like.
Spinning around slowly Light asked, "So what do you think?"
"I think we're getting them," He said with a smile. He stepped forward and looked at the way they fit Light, making him turn around and taking particular care with examining his ass. He then pulled away and turned Light back around. "Yep, we're getting them."
"I though that would be your answer," Light replied grinning and walked back to the change rooms to put his other pants back on. By the time Light came out of the changing rooms, L had picked up a few more articles and was about to pay for them. He gestured for Light to come join him, to give the trousers over. Light did so immediately, placing the pants on the counter and taking L's smooth, pale hand in his. Smiling at the gesture, L paid for the clothes and pulled Light outside.
"Roast beef!" He exclaimed when they'd left the shop. He nodded to himself and moved further away from the shop. Light didn't even want to know what L had been thinking but followed the man anyway. L guided them to a small restaurant and smiled at Light. "I feel like roast beef... But it's up to you want something else, we can go for that."
"No, that's fine. I am just glad you feel like eating," Light replied smiling. L led them inside and they were taken to a table. They sat down and L looked at the menu.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" L asked with a smile.
"Yeah I am," Light replied, glancing down as he played with the ring on his left hand, before he lifted his eyes to meet L's again, shining brightly with absolute bliss. L smiled at Light and took his hand, running his hand over the ring.
"I'm glad." He looked over the menu again and smiled. "They do Yorkshire pudding!" He exclaimed happily.
"Get some then," Light said and laughed softly at L's excitement. After a moment he let their joined hands rest on the table between them and interlocked their fingers.
L nodded. "I will. Yorkshire pudding, onion rings, roast beef, roast potato and chocolate milkshake and ice-cream," He said with another, childish nod. He looked at Light, "What're you having?" Light just grinned before he looked over the menu and told L what he had chosen. The meal came, and L ate half of his before giving up. He smiled sheepishly at Light and pushed his plate away.
"You enjoying your food?" He asked, sipping at his chocolate milkshake.
"Yeah, I am," Light replied. "And thankyou for at least eating half of what you ordered." L nodded, looking down at his food.
"I'm not actually hungry," He mumbled. He looked up at Light again and smiled, "It was weird to eat something with so little sugar..."
"I know. I was surprised when you said what you wanted to order. Especially since we are in France and they apparently make wonderful deserts," Light commented. L nodded, bringing his legs up to his chest. He put his feet on the chair. He looked at Light and smiled softly, his head on his knees as he watched the other.
"What do you want to do next?"
"I have never been to France before so could you choose? I wouldn't know what we have time for," Light replied, chuckling fondly at L's change in his seating and glad that L had finally relaxed some. L paused in thought for a moment.
"Well... since I lived here for eight years, it's not exactly that exciting." He said with a smile. "I could show you my birthplace..." he said quietly. It was something that he had never shared with anyone else before. It was something very personal. Light swallowed harshly, his eyes widening, before he smiled.
"I would really like that," he replied gently. Biting his lip, L nodded, looking at his milkshake. He drank it quickly, wishing it was something stronger than milk. He took a deep breath before looking up at Light and smiling softly.
"I used to live there with m'ma, before she died," He said quietly, "I'll- I'll show you." Sensing L's anxiety Light squeezed L's hand in an attempt to comfort him.
"If you're not comfortable showing me yet, I'm ok with that. I don't want anything that would make you uncomfortable in any way," Light answered, trying to keep his voice low and comforting.
L shook his head. "I want- I want to show you," He said softly, "I want to open up to you." Swallowing, he nodded and smiled. "Shall we?"
"Sure," Light replied and stood up. "Thankyou, I know this must be hard for you."
"It's easier than I thought it would be," He said softly, smiling. "I-" he swallowed again, "I want you to know things about me...that nobody else does...not even Watari knows where I was born. As far as he knows, I don't remember much before I was eight."
"You have no idea how happy that makes me feel," Light said, hardly holding back the beaming smile in favour of a smaller, gentler one. L leaned over the table and kissed Light softly.
"Shall we then?" He asked, pulling his wallet out. He was getting ready to pay for their food. He didn't want Light to ever have to worry about money. As he was, he had plenty of money for the both of them. He could afford to cover them, even if they wanted to buy a house every day.
"Ok," Light said, extremely pleased with the kiss. After they'd paid, L took Light's hand and led him outside. It was a short walk to the coast, and a slightly longer one down the driveway.
"I don't know if anyone lives here..." he said softly, "But I do remember that this is where I lived." They came around a corner to see a run down house. It was a large cottage, one story, but wide. The roof was made of what looked to be straw, and the walls were bricks. L led them further down the drive, right to the front door. He then knocked on it. There was no answer.
"It doesn't look like anybody's been here for a long time..." He said softly, pushing the door open. It was unlocked. Nobody was inside. It was dark and dusty and smelled faintly of mould. L had to stop to take in a deep breath. His hands went to his face as he tried to control his emotions. "Everything's the same..." He took a few steps forward, next to the living room. He stooped and picked up a small doll. It was one of those that was made of material, and stuffed. The hair was dark hair was curled string, and the eyes were sewn on crosses. He held it to his chest before turning to Light and smiling softly. He took a deep breath before talking. "It's all the same as it was before." Light just watched, taking in every aspect of his surroundings, before walking over to L and placed a hand on L's thin shoulder.
"Thankyou for showing me this," Light murmured smiling back.
"I needed to see it too..." L said with a smile. After a moment, he bit his lip. "There's...there's something else I want to see..." He said quietly. "I could use your support..." He knew that what was going to happen was going to be hard. He took Light's hand, leading him to the back door of the house. The doll was still in his other hand. The back garden was over grown, the grass coming up to around their waist. But there was still a path, climbing a gentle slope. A few hundred meters from the house the path stopped. The grass here was a little shorter, going up to about their ankles. There was no path from here on, but L kept going forward. They were on a cliff now, overlooking the ocean. L pointed to a small wooden cross (made from two branches from the weeping Willow that was a few meters away) stood, jammed in the ground. "I...I put that there..." He said quietly, "The day after m'ma passed away." He looked at the cliff edge, moving closer. "She fell." He kneeled down on the ground, looking down at the water below. "She fell after pushing me away from the edge..." He hung his head, "It should've been me that fell." Light let go of L's hand to take hold of both his shoulders, his eyes staring into L's as he spoke.
"Don't ever think that way," Light said seriously. "I may not have ever met you're mother, but I don't need to, in order to know she wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself for her death. In fact if she is anything like the way I think she was, she would have suffered worse to keep you safe." Light moved forward to take L into his arms. "You're life is the most beautiful, amazing thing and you have saved so many, including me. You're mother would be so proud." It seemed to all make sense now. Leaning against Light, L allowed himself to cry, to let all his grief for his mother out. He clutched onto Light like a lifeline for a good ten minutes before pulling away. He looked at Light and nodded. Maybe now... maybe now he could believe all of that. If he didn't believe in his own self worth, then what was his mothers sacrifice for? He swallowed and wiped his tears away.
"Thank you," He said, smiling at Light.
"You're welcome my love," Light whispered, holding onto L tightly before pulling away so as to hold L's hand. L smiled at Light and took a deep breath. He looked back over the cliff, the sun was setting. He leaned closer to Light as he looked at the sunset.
"Isn't it beautiful?" he said quietly.
"But not as beautiful as you," Light replied smiling as he continued to watch his lover. L smiled at Light and looked out at the red sky.
"Light, I'll never forget this..." he said softly, "Thank you, so much." Light lifted his free hand to tilt L's head down slightly so that he could place a kiss on L's forehead.
"Anything for you."
"C'mon," L said softly, "Lets go." He didn't want to be here any longer than he had to be. It was starting to get at him. He pulled Light back towards the house before pausing. He tuned back and walked to the makeshift grave. He placed the doll down and smiled softly. "Good-bye M'ma," He said quietly. "I'll never forget what you did for me." He gently stroked the dirt on the ground before standing and moving back to Light. "Because of what she did, I now have you," He said softly, smiling at Light. "Maybe there is something in me that's worth it." Light just smiled back, not feeling like pushing L any further for the moment.
"And because of what she did, I have you and I will be grateful to her for every second I am alive." Holding Light's hand again, L pulled them towards the cottage.
"Her name was Ellenor. Elle for short." He said, "Elle... L." He smiled softly, "She thought it would be funny to call me L. Just a simple letter – hard to forget." He squeezed Light's hand and smiled at him. Ellenor Hikari Lawliet." He said. Light just smiled, listening quietly to L talk. He had never had the chance to mention it but he thought that L's voice was extremely soothing to listen too.
"Fancy that...she had 'Hikari' in her name..." L shook his head and smiled. "If it wasn't so cheesy, I'd say it was destiny." By now they were back at the cottage. L's steps faltered and he took another breath before walking in. He was silent now, looking around the house. He took a detour, pulling Light into a small room. There was a bed in the corner, it was messed up, as if someone had been sleeping in it. The curtains were drawn, not letting in any light. Toys were lining the shelves on the walls, stuffed animals, robots. There were some puzzles on the shelves and books – thick novels and information books. Above the bed, hanging on a wall, was a gothic letter.
L
Light gasped.
"Was this… Was this your room?" Light asked almost reverently as he looked around the room, trying to take in the clues from L's past. L nodded, sitting on his old bed. He picked up the book that was there. It was a complicated text on quantum relativity.
"I wanted to be a scientist," He said softly. "I wanted to see space one day..." He stroked the front of the book. "But after my dad was killed, I wanted to be able to find who did it..." Light walked over to sit next to him without the slightest hint of hesitation.
"Did you?" Light asked quietly, wrapping an arm around L as the desire to touch him in someway overcame him.
L nodded. "My first case... I cracked it just after my ninth birthday." He smiled softly, "That's what got me into Wammy's house...The orphanage where I became the detective L." He smiled at Light, leaning against him slightly. He continued to gently stroke the book. "Watari thought that I didn't remember anything – that the trauma was too much..."
"You are a stronger person than you give yourself credit for," Light said lovingly, running his hand up and down L's side comfortingly. Leaning forward Light kissed L's cheek for a moment before pulling the man closer to him.
"I wish m'ma could've met you," L said softly. L put the book away and looked around the room. "It used to be brighter..." he said softly. "The room. It used to get so much sunlight... now it's... abandoned..." He stood and moved to the curtains. He didn't open it, he didn't even touch it. He just looked at the curtains. He looked up at the ceiling. "There are stars..." he said, "glow in the dark... they need sunlight to work." He said with a small smile. "M'ma and I spent a long time getting them just right."
"I wish I could have met your m'ma too," Light murmured, using the name L used for her. Still seated on the bed, his eyes couldn't help but drink in the sight of L's smile and couldn't help but compare it to the glow in the dark stars. Like them, in the right conditions L seemed to glow with a light of his own. L looked at Light smiling. He nodded.
"Shall we?" He asked. This place had been his home, so long ago. But now, now he was in a different life. It was good to see it again, but he wanted to leave, to get back to his life as it is now. Light smiled back and got up. Slowly he walked over to L and took his hand.
"We shall."
***
So what did you think? If you confused about Light giving L a blow job, but not a kiss thing… Well I really don't know what I was thinking. Lol This chapter has been written ages ago. Anyway thanks for reading.