Review Responses:
bekbekah92 - Yeah, but that character had to go. And no problem, I like to respond to any review, it's proof that someone enjoys the story or has a critique.
Pandamonium2 - All good things come to an end, including winning streaks. I too am interested in seeing what Mr. L's next move will be. Also, good for you for getting an account. I don't know who your favorite is, but maybe you've picked a winner. Let's find out together.
Moley Koopa - Yep, he's still here. Daisy was indeed the best player, which is one of a few reasons why I needed her gone. Things would've gotten too boring if someone like her was around to keep succeeding. I am grateful for your offer, but at the moment I'd like to think of challenges by myself. I need to do this to test my creativity. In fact, after this chapter I'm going to do some brainstorming so that block won't keep coming to me.
Spike Brigadier - You're right, Bandit is a side character who doesn't really need a lot of personality. I wouldn't say he's an anti-hero though, more like a bumbling minor villain. But the future is not set in stone. I would've liked to have him hassle everybody from the very second round, but I had to wait until there were fewer players. Glad you like the story.
Luigified531 - Sorry, but this is how it needs to be. I imagine those two will last a bit longer, though I can't be sure by how much. Thanks for the compliment.
Elemental Queen - Haha. I've yet to actually play Mario Party 9. Despite the changes and removing Dry Bones from the playable characters, it does look fun.
EpicallyAwesome1601 - Yeah, it had to be done. Glad you're enjoying.
Episode 13: All's Faire
Location: Faire Square
Game: Mario Party 6
Team Royal Green: Koopa, Rosalina, Petey Piranha
Team W-Shell: Yoshi, Toadette
Team Zero: Waluigi, Dry Bowser
K. Kids Remaining: 3/3
Bowser was sitting upon his usual throne in the castle.
"So. I take Junker out to Neon Heights and give him a star, and then make the players hunt him down for it, and whoever got the star would be the winner. But now he's gone missing! And the worst part is, Dry Bowser's team is the one that won!"
Kamek shrugged. "Well sir, Daisy was sent to the dungeon due to the sudden death game you threw in at the last minute. So you have that going for you."
"Meh. It's Team K. Kid! They're not getting their act together, and it's driving me nuts! They'd better pull through, today!"
Mr. L jumped down. "Bowser! There you are!"
"Mr. L!" Bowser and Kamek exclaimed at once.
"It took me a while, but I a-finally got here! Let Daisy out of your dungeon!"
"… Wait, what does Daisy have to do with anything?" Bowser asked.
"You mean you don't a-know? I haven't been saying anything, but I figured it was pretty obvious!" Mr. L said. "But that's not-a important. You'll pay!"
"Bwahaha! Well whoever you really are, you've fallen right into my trap!"
Mr. L looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Kahaha!" Kamek chuckled. "I can see the future if I focus really hard. I told King Bowser you'd show up, and here you are!"
"Enough!" Mr. L pulled out a hammer to hit Kamek, but the wizard shot a spell at it. Suddenly Mr. L's hammer was replaced with a flip-flop. "Wait, what?"
Kamek cast a second spell, making a rope appear around Mr. L. He turned to his king.
"Shall I send him to the dungeon?"
"… No. I have a better idea. Bwahahaha!"
Team Zero:
Later that day, the teams, Bowser, and his crew were all in airships and headed to the next location.
"Wahaha! Waluigi still can't believe he-a finally won for his team!"
"Yeah, yeah, now shut up about it already!" Dry Bowser commanded. He looked out the window. "Hmm. Looks like we're hitting the next spot today."
"Bring it on!"
All Teams:
All of the teams stood outside in Faire Square, a nice and fancy town in the clouds. There was a pavement star in the center, and all four teams were sitting at tables at the ends of different star points. There was an uninhabited desk north of the top point, on top of a rounded ramp.
Team Royal Green had the top-left desk, W-Shell had bottom-left, Zero had bottom-right, and K. Kid had top-right. Bowser stood in the center.
"All right everyone, I'm too busy to run this stupid game today, so you're gonna have a guest host! He'll explain the rules! All right, I'm out! There's someone I need to deal with. … And maybe I should find Junker."
Bowser stormed off.
"Sweet, what do you wanna bet it's gonna be another Koopaling and we get to slack off?" Petey asked his teammates. Rosalina shook her head.
"I somehow doubt it."
Koopa butted in. "Say, did you know they're not actually his kids?"
"Say what?" Petey asked. Before this could further be elaborated, he noticed a bunch of Snifits surrounding them. "Uhh… what?"
The sound of someone clearing their throat was audible from the empty desk.
"Are you ready to…"
"SNIFIT OR WHIFFIT!" cried the crowd of Snifits in unison, catching all of the players off guard. A Snifit wearing a bowtie rose from the previously uninhabited desk.
Waluigi looked around. "Waa! What's the meaning of this?"
"I dunno. Just act natural." Dry Bowser told his teammate.
"I think Mario mentioned doing something like this, a few months ago." Toadette stated. "What do we have to do?"
The host ignored her. "Ladies and mentlegen! Welcome to another exciting installment of…!"
"SNIFIT OR WHIFFIT!"
"I'm your host, Snifit! The next 30 minutes are going to be magical, folks! We've strayed from our usual location in the Stump Glade, to record a special episode right here in Faire Square!" Then Snifit started tearing up. "It… it actually means so much to me that you all decided to follow me here and be my live audience!"
Dry Bowser rolled the lights in his eye sockets.
"Sweet!" Koopa cheered. "I'm a Snifit or Whiffit fiend! This'll be easy! I've watched every episode!"
"Anyway, today's game is going to be a bit different than usual." Snifit declared.
"Oh come on!" cursed Koopa.
"Today, our players will be competing for… these!" Snifit pulled out a sack of coins. "The player with the most coins in the end wins!" Snifit put the sack back where he found it.
"Yoshi!"
Snifit pointed to Yoshi. "I was getting to that, as a matter of fact! The rules for this edition are simple!"
Rules:
1. Snifit asks a question
2. First team to hit the buzzer can answer for 20 coins
3. If they're wrong, another team can answer for 15
4. If they're wrong, a third team can answer for 10 (and so on)
5. If nobody can answer, nobody gets any coins
Koopa raised his hand. "Ooh! Ooh! What about the poison gas?"
Snifit pointed to Koopa this time. "I'm glad you asked! Gooper Blooper's no longer here to supply poison, but we've bought plenty from a mister 'Boss Pakkun'!"
Everyone turned to Petey.
"… What? It's a living!"
"Anyway," Snifit continued, "thanks to our flowery friend over there, we have poison gas that we can spray on all of you, should nobody have the right answer to my question. Also… let's just say it's good to have lots of coins…"
Everyone started looking towards their teammates, and then Snifit spoke up again.
"So… does everyone understand the rules?" The teams all considered what Snifit had told them and nodded. "All righty then! Here is the scoreboard!"
Team Royal Green - 0 coins
Team W-Shell - 0 coins
Team Zero - 0 coins
Team K. Kid - 0 coins
"Every round lasts three questions. Now let's get ready to…!" Snifit pointed to the other Snifits.
"SNIFIT OR WHIFFIT!"
Snifit pulled out a deck of cards, and the game began.
Round 1:
"Okay-dokay! Let's get this party started!" Snifit announced. "Question 1! Who among you taught Mario how to use his spin attack in space?"
A. Koopa Troopa
B. Rosalina
C. Yoshi
D. Green K. Kid
E. Waluigi
"So the questions can be about-" Rosalina was interrupted by Red K. Kid hitting the buzzer for his team.
"It was that space princess right over there!"
Snifit pointed to Team K. Kid. "Correct! You get 20 coins!"
Petey slapped himself. "Geez, it was a question about you and you didn't even get the buzzer? Talk about lame!"
Rosalina gave Petey a stern look. "Watch your tone."
Snifit pulled out a new card. "Question numero dos! Out of these people, who did adult Mario meet first?"
A. Wario
B. Princess Daisy
C. Yoshi
D. Birdo
E. Diddy Kong
Petey slapped his leaf down onto the buzzer. "Yoshi! It was Yoshi! He met Yoshi first!"
"Aww, sorry Petey! But I said the question applies to Mario's adulthood!"
Petey was indignant. "What? I remember him as a baby, and I looked the same! Just how old is he supposed to be anyway?"
"All right, other teams! Team Royal Green flubbed it! Who wants to earn a juicy 15 coins out of the original 20?"
Toadette hit her team's buzzer. "Mario met Birdo first, then Daisy, then Yoshi, then Wario, then Diddy Kong!"
"Correct! Though, I only care about Birdo's involvement. Next question! Which of these powers have the Mario Bros. never learned to wield directly?"
A. Poison
B. Rock
C. Fire
D. Ice
E. Thunder
Koopa and Dry Bowser both reached for their buzzers, but Koopa was quicker.
"A! The answer is A!" Koopa proclaimed. "I've restored honor to my team!"
"Indeed!" Snifit announced.
"You were fast. They should call you, 'Koopa the Quick'." Petey said.
Koopa blushed. "Shucks. … He's my cousin."
"Now that it's been three questions, here are the standings!" Snifit announced.
Team Royal Green - 20 coins
Team W-Shell - 15 coins
Team Zero - 0 coins
Team K. Kid - 20 coins
"And here's where things get interesting! I do love the look of surprise on a player's face, so this is why I've been keeping a secret!"
"… What is it?" Dry Bowser asked, full of dread.
"Since your team is most behind after three questions, you two are disqualified! Both of you are eligible for being sent to Bowser's dungeon! Bon voyage!" Snifit told the team.
"Waaa!" shrieked Waluigi, as poison spray emanated from his table's buzzer.
Dry Bowser felt nothing, but he was still pulled away from his table by some Snifit interns, alongside a convulsing Waluigi. Then Snifit turned to the crowd.
"Looks like they got a hardy whiff, folks! And that's it for Round 1! We'll be back after these commercial messages!"
Go buy a Wii U.
Round 2:
It was nighttime in Faire Square. All of the tables became lit, including Snifit's. He turned to the audience.
"Welcome back to…!"
"SNIFIT OR WHIFFIT!" cheered the audience and Koopa.
"Now that it's evening, things will be a bit different! Round 2 will last as many questions as it takes for there to be a decisive winning team and losing team, because all of your answers are judged at once! You'll have to write them on the conveniently-placed sheets on your tables!"
All of the players except for Team K. Kid gulped.
"We've got this in the bag!" Green K. Kid boasted. "Isn't that right, Blue?"
"Yeah, in the bag!"
"We go together like hammers and boomerangs! We've got this!" said Red.
"… I miss Hammer Bro." Toadette sighed.
"All right! Let's get a move on! As before, winning team gets 20 coins, but there is no answer stealing, since you're all judged at once! So all of you can get 20 coins at the same time! Don't forget that you all will get poisoned if you're all wrong! Let's begin!"
"What? Since when is that a rule?" Toadette asked. Snifit ignored her.
Team Royal Green - 0 coins
Team W-Shell - 0 coins
Team K. Kid - 0 coins
"Geez… Okay Yoshi, let's be careful."
"Yoshi!"
Red K. Kid turned to his teammates. "C'mon Blue and Green! We can't disappoint King Bowser!"
"Right!" Blue and Green K. Kids spoke at once.
Snifit shuffled his cards. "Question 1! Which Koopaling has been the second one that Mario has faced, more than any other Koopaling? … Not counting Yoshi's Safari."
Toadette and Yoshi started trying to remember all of the times the Koopalings and Mario fought, as did Team Royal Green, though Green K. Kid hit his team's buzzer first, signaling that his team wrote their answer.
"… Oh!" Koopa wrote an answer down. Petey shrugged and hit his team's buzzer, as Yoshi did the same when he saw Toadette writing.
-Morton (Team Royal Green)
-Iggy (Team W-Shell)
-Morton (Team K. Kid)
"Teams Royal Green and K. Kid get 20 coins each! Huzzah!" Snifit announced. As Toadette and Yoshi slouched, he read the next question. "Question 2! What does Gusty taste like?"
Yoshi's eyes lit up and he started writing. Red K. Kid was steamed.
"No fair, he's the only one who would know that!"
Koopa merely snapped his fingers. Petey started contemplating.
"I think I ate a Gusty once… she was kinda papery and… she didn't taste very good. I'll write that." Petey began to write, as Koopa looked to Rosalina.
"Should we let him?" asked the shelled one. Rosalina merely shrugged.
Before long, Red K. Kid gave up and just wrote the first thing he could think of.
-Papery and overall bad (Team Royal Green)
-Like a really soft banana (Team W-Shell)
-Like chicken (Team K. Kid)
"20 coins to Team W-Shell!" said Snifit. Petey slapped his head.
"Oh yeah! That wasn't a Gusty that I ate! It was a sticker… thing! Eh, I was crazy with power at the time, my memory of that is a bit foggy."
Koopa hit his head on the table as Rosalina sighed.
"Question 3! What is Kamek's favorite song?"
Everyone was stumped.
"… Shoot." Koopa cursed. Everyone else gave similar sentiments. They all just decided to write down what they could guess.
-Toss Me Round [parody of "Spin Me Round"] (Team Royal Green)
-His theme song (Team W-Shell)
-The Lonely Dance (Team K. Kid)
"… Err! Wrong! It was a trick question! The real answer is unknown! Nobody knows Kamek's favorite song, because it's so obscure! If we did find out, it wouldn't be his favorite anymore! Cue the poison!"
Poison sprayed on every player, though it was not as nasty as the poison Team Zero had experienced.
"Eeew!"
"Aack!"
"Ugh!"
"Mmm, my best batch yet…" Petey said fondly, immune to his own poison.
"Here are the standings!" Snifit announced.
Team Royal Green - 20 coins
Team W-Shell - 20 coins
Team K. Kid - 20 coins
Snifit raised both of his arms. "A tie! Looks like we need to extend this round after all! Get your sniffers ready, here comes the fourth question! Question 4, who is the most villainous person to threaten the Mushroom Kingdom while never having a chance to fight Mario?"
Red K. Kid snickered. "Good thing Bowser told us about this adventure he had a few years ago!"
He started writing something down, and Koopa's eyes lit up.
"Oh! I remember! Bowser fought this one guy while Mario was inside his body, but Mario never fought him!"
Soon, the answers were all there.
-Midbus (Team Royal Green)
-Kammy Koopa (Team W-Shell)
-Midbus (Team K. Kid)
"20 coins for Teams Royal Green and K. Kid! That means W-Shell is out of the running!"
"Huh? But I thought Mario didn't fight Kammy Koopa!" Toadette claimed, but then she came to a realization. "… Except he did… later on, on a different adventure… crud."
Team Royal Green - 40 coins
Team W-Shell - 20 coins
Team K. Kid - 40 coins
Poison spray hit Toadette and Yoshi.
"Aaaah!"
"Owowowow!"
The two players were dragged away by Snifits.
"All right then! Show's almost over, folks! That was Round 2! Join us after the commercials, and we'll have Round 3 ready to go!"
No seriously, go buy a Wii U.
Round 3:
It was daytime in Faire Square once again, and two of the five desks were empty. Team Royal Green, Team K. Kid, and Snifit all remained.
"Hey folks! Now that it's daytime, we're reverting back to the original version of the rules, but modified for two teams!"
1. Snifit asks a question
2. First team to hit the buzzer can answer for 10 coins
3. If they're wrong, the other team can answer for 5
4. If nobody can answer, nobody gets any coins, and there will be poison
"No more question limits. We go until someone wins, and you can win by getting 50 coins!"
Koopa took a deep breath, Petey yawned, and Rosalina focused. Each Koopa Kid merely squinted at their competitors. Snifit pointed at the audience.
"Snifit or…?"
"WHIFFIT!" the audience cried once more.
Team Royal Green - 0 coins
Team K. Kid - 0 coins
"Question 1! Assuming Mario had 100 hit points at the end of Paper Mario: Sticker Star, how many times would he have played on my show, minimum?"
A. Once
B. Twice
C. Thrice
Koopa slammed on the buzzer. "Twice! And I've watched both of those attempts!"
Snifit pointed at Team Royal Green. "Indeed!"
"Meh, Koopa's got this." Petey started laying back, but Rosalina gave him another stern look.
"No, Petey. We have to be vigilant. There may be something that you know that he won't."
"Awww!"
"Question 2," Snifit said, "which of these folks did not accompany Mario on his quest to stop the Smithy Gang?"
A. Geno
B. Mallow
C. Parakarry
Green K. Kid slammed his fist on the buzzer. "Parakarry! That lousy mailman!"
"Yes, yes! You get 10 coins! Question 3, which of these enemies appeared in Luigi's Mansion?"
A. Broozer
B. Boo
C. Dry Bones
Rosalina was about to hit the buzzer, but Petey beat her to it.
"Dry Bones, yo!" Petey answered. Snifit shook his head. "You gotta be kidding me!" Blue K. Kid hit his buzzer.
"Boo!"
"Correct! 5 coins for you!"
Team Royal Green - 10 coins
Team K. Kid - 15 coins
"We're still a ways until 50 coins! Can they do it? Which one will get to the top first?"
Koopa squinted. "All right. Let me do this, guys! I've got this!"
Red K. Kid returned the gesture. "A challenge, huh?"
Rosalina nodded. "… If you must. All right Petey, you can relax."
"Nice!" the plant cheered.
Red K. Kid turned to his cohorts. "Stay out of this! He's mine!"
Snifit pulled out the next card. "Question 4! Which of these characters has never been in Peach's basement?"
A. Birdo
B. MIPS
C. Fawful
"Birdo!" Koopa yelled after hitting his buzzer. Snifit nodded, and from then on, the whole game became a blur for the two designated answerers.
Team Royal Green - 20 coins
Team K. Kid - 15 coins
"Where does Princess Daisy rule?"
"Sarasaland!" Koopa declared.
Team Royal Green - 30 coins
Team K. Kid - 15 coins
"The youngest Koopa alive to ever oppose Mario?"
Red K. Kid hit his buzzer. "Jr. Troopa!"
Team Royal Green - 30 coins
Team K. Kid - 25 coins
"Who was the woman kidnapped by Donkey Kong?"
"Pauline!" Koopa answered.
Team Royal Green - 40 coins
Team K. Kid - 25 coins
"Who usually owns the first track in a Mario Kart race?"
"Luigi!" said Red K. Kid.
Team Royal Green - 40 coins
Team K. Kid - 35 coins
"Who was Bowser Jr.'s pet dragon?"
"Gobblegut!" blurted Red K. Kid, hurrying to beat Koopa to hitting the buzzer.
Team Royal Green 40 coins
Team K. Kid - 45 coins
Finally, things slowed down.
"All right…" Snifit started, "Things are heating up! Here goes! What is… the name of the board we're on?"
Blue K. Kid hit the buzzer before Red.
"Blue, what are you doing?"
"Oh come on! This is an easy one! We're on Snifit or Whiffit!"
"Nope!" Snifit shook his head.
"What? Of course we are! You and these stupid Snifits keep shouting it!"
The Snifit audience remained silent. One spit a miniature ball at Blue K. Kid. The host ignored the insult to his beloved audience and turned to Team Royal Green.
"So how about it? Think you know?"
"Faire Square, baby!" Koopa cheered. His team received five coins.
Team Royal Green - 45 coins
Team W-Shell 45 coins
"Down to the wire! It's anyone's game, unless perhaps they both get the answer wrong? All righty! What is the name of this show?"
Blue K. Kid slammed his head on his team's table while Rosalina looked to Koopa. He nodded and she hit the button.
"Snifit or Whiffit."
"DINGDINGDINGDINGDING! Congratulations, Team Royal Green! You've won Snifit or Whiffit! You're all honorary Snifits in my book!" Snifit turned to face the other team. "As for you…"
Poison sprayed the K. Kids, and Snifits dragged them away.
Team Royal Green - 55
Team K. Kid - 45
At that point, Bowser Jr. appeared over the center of the pavement star, sitting in his copter.
"All right, all right! That's enough of this show! Snifits, bring out all the losers!" Bowser Jr. ordered.
A bunch of Snifits brought out Waluigi, Dry Bowser, Toadette, Yoshi, Blue K. Kid, Red K. Kid, and Green K. Kid.
"You were all pathetic! Team K. Kid, when my dad got you back in the game, he didn't expect you to lose every single time! I knew your body was split in three, but not your brains too! He was watching this show on TV, and he's gonna be furious!"
"Wh-what are you gonna do?" Red K. Kid asked.
"One of you is going to the dungeon, and then maybe the other two of you will shape up! And since Blue K. Kid is the one who blew it for his team, he goes!"
"What? No!"
"Yes!" Bowser Jr. taunted. "Nyarglebargle!"
Bowser Jr. pointed at Blue K. Kid, and he turned into two blue balls of light. Each flew into one of the remaining K. Kids.
"Now everybody return to your airships!"
Team Royal Green stood up and headed for the airships, as Snifits escorted all of the other remaining players to their own ships. Bowser Jr. flew after them, leaving Snifit and his audience alone.
"… Well thank you all for watching another exciting episode of…"
"SNIFIT OR WHIFFIT!"
"Remember to have your Goombas jumped on and ground pounded! Until next time!"
"Bwahaha!" Bowser laughed. "Putting Team K. Kid back in the game isn't working out like I thought. But good thing I have this to throw at them for next time!"
Winners' Thoughts:
"Wow! I knew watching all those episodes of Snifit or Whiffit would come in handy! Random trivia about Mario's adventures is my specialty!" - Koopa
"We've defeated one Koopa Kid. I just hope we can best the other two before it's too late." - Rosalina
"Woo! Winning streak has been reborn! … By the way, I'm not good at game shows." - Petey
Losers' Thoughts:
"Stupid Blue Koopa Kid!" - Red K. Kid
"Now we gotta work even harder!" - Green K. Kid
To be continued.
Remaining Players: Koopa, Rosalina, Petey, Yoshi, Toadette, Waluigi, Dry Bowser, Red K. Kid, Green K. Kid
Losers: Wario, Luigi, Birdo, King Boo, Shy Guy, Dry Bones, Hammer Bro., Koopa Kid, Blooper, Boom-Boom, Daisy, Blue K. Kid
Author's Notes:
So I decided not to change the story's listed main characters after all. Can't spoil Mr. L existing, now can I? If anyone even remembers that I had planned that.
But anyway, hey! Blue K. Kid is out of the running, meaning only two Koopa Kids remain! And not to mention what happened with Mr. L… The game is changing, that's for sure. Just wait until you see what happens next time.
So it took me a long time to settle on where exactly this chapter will be located. I do have all the boards planned, but this one was giving me some trouble. I kept struggling to find concepts, but this is what I ended up with. I'd like to thank Paper Mario: Sticker Star for this. Fun game, if flawed. I liked it a lot. From this point on, I'm going to have some more efficient planning so that writers' block won't be a problem.
I had a lot of fun with this one. I just might do a Snifit or Whiffit oneshot someday down the road. I may have to tweak the rules though. But even though I had fun writing, I'm worried it was a bit too complicated to follow. Sorry if it was.
There are quite a few other references to Mario's newest paper adventure, as well. See if you can spot them. And if you'll notice, there is a Team Fortress 2 reference (well more of a reference to one of its memes). Some of the songs are also references to Stupid Mario Bros. and Sgt. Frog Abridged (by the Midnight Frogs).
And hey look, there weren't any mini games today.