We went to the cinema yesterday.
It was kind of unexpected. I mean, I was going by myself to see the new Hunger Games film. I know it's not "new new", as it's been playing for a while now, but to me it was new, as I hadn't seen it yet. Anyway. I'd asked John Paul to join me, but he'd said that he couldn't. So I was surprised when he came up to me in the queue to the ticket office. He'd changed his mind and Theresa agreed to babysit at the last minute.
It turned out he hadn't seen the first one so I had to continuously answer questions about this and that he didn't understand. People around us were clearly not amused. We, on the other hand, were. We laughed about it the entire way home.
God, I've missed that, us two just hanging out together, laughing, being mates. I've realised that's probably what drove us apart in Dublin. Little by little we just stopped being mates. We were too busy with studying and then with work, too busy being a couple. We'd go out to romantic dinners, not paintball – to Homebase, not HMV. Not that romance isn't good and necessary, but we were mates first – and we lost that.
At the end of the night we went for a pint in the Dog. Actually we walked past a gay bar in town and I was about to ask him whether he felt like having one there, but saw how uncomfortable he became and quickly changed it to the Dog. I'll take him there later, though. He needs to get over this.
I know I don't really identify as gay – bi perhaps – but whatever. He does, and regardless of whether he wants to be with me or not, he'll have to start living…
again!
I got a job.
Jack arranged it. I'd asked him for a few shifts in the Dog just to get some extra cash, and he started asking about my future plans. I told him I wasn't sure, but for now I didn't have any intention of leaving. He then told me that the brewery they belong to was looking for a regional manager, and with my degree I'd be sure to get it. Optimistic much!
Anyway, I sent them an application with my CV. I didn't get the job, of course, but they offered me a paid internship as an assistant to the new manager, as they said I had "a clear potential to become an important part of their operation." How about that?
The bad thing is that it means no more mornings or early afternoons with Matthew. Good thing is that now John Paul will always be there as well whenever I spend time with our son. We can start becoming a family. I'll miss our private time together, though – it's amazing how close Matthew and I have become in just three months.
We've done all sorts. Gone to the park regardless of the weather. Visited my family. Hung around at the McQueen's. I've even taken him to play with other kids his age with a group of young mums that meet twice a week. They were all kind of impressed that I'd join them as the only daddy. One or two of them tried to organise some private play dates, but I just laughed it off. Thought about telling them I'm gay, but that's not fair, is it? I can't really claim being gay just when it suits me, can I? In the end I just told them I was taken.
That's what I am!
Good one, John!
Today he took that bull by its horns.
Apparently, he finally had enough of how some of his students continued to behave, even after the trouble they were in the previous year, and confronted them about it. He told me that he realised that he basically had nothing to lose and just sat down and asked them what it was about him that bothered them so much that they continued to interrupt his teaching.
Now, I wasn't there, but I can definitely understand why they'd be embarrassed when asked that plainly why they're not allowing him to do his job properly. He told me that at first there was some muttering as no one could look up from his or her desk, until one of them, a hard-working boy, looked up and said, "Nothing, sir. I think you're a really good teacher – whenever there's peace and quiet to learn something in here." And then it seemed that just because one person had spoken up on his behalf, more joined in while all the negative voices remained quiet and the positive ones finally could be heard.
I could see that a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I just hope it's not a one-off. You can't understand how proud of him I am, and I told him so. I was with Matthew when he came home from work, and believe me, it's years since I've seen him smile like that.
I gave him a hug and it felt like forever before he withdrew from it. The longest hug we've shared since I've been back. God, it made me feel good, so good that the emptiness I felt afterwards couldn't overshadow it. He then ran upstairs and came bouncing back with a football, shouting at me to get our son ready to go out for a kick-about.
These were his words.
Our son!