By now I'm pretty aware that I am more or less writing this fic for myself only, and I dont really mind that much. I needed to get this fic out of my system, so there's that.
(also I know The ending quote has already been used but asjfksngeunb)
Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.
When he slips out into the morning light, his shirt ruffled and one of his socks missing, he can still feel the weight of another against his chest. His lips bruised, his ginger hair in a curly mess and his eyes squinting against the beams of sun reflected in the windows. There is a dark bruise on his left hipbone, and with every step he feels a dull pain as the waistline of his trousers moves against it. He relishes the feeling, remembering exactly how it came to be there. He takes the long way around the fence, still a bit light-headed after the night's events. He stops by the front door, closing his eyes against the sun. So this is how it feels, he thinks, not entirely sure what he means by that. But the words feel right the minute they pass through his mind. There is a place of worry, somewhere in the back of his head that tells him that there are things to think about, things to deal with. But it is covered, for now, with a soft feeling of warmth and comfort. For a few more minutes, he allows himself to revel in the feeling that for the first time since that last night by the lake back at Hogwarts, everything is all right.
He walks through the front door for once. The hallway is quiet and empty, save for a jacket thrown carelessly over one of the chairs. Aberforth is home, then. He walks the stairs carefully. It's still early enough for nobody to be awake. As he passes Ariana's room, the floor creaks slightly, and as he looks down he notices a streak of light coming from the slightly open door to his sisters room. Did I forget to close that? He carefully pushes the door inwards, and it moves without a sound. The windows are closed, and the room is silent. Fawkes pin seems lonely without the Phoenix, and the bed is a mess of pillows. He slips into the room, to check where the bird might have gone off to. He attempts to do something about the mess that covers Ariana's bed as he passes, but feels no heat emerging from the covers. She's just hiding he thinks, moving over more of the pillows aside, but there is no sign of the light-haired girl. Stomach filled with panic, he crawls up on the bed, violently tossing the covers and pillows aside, but she is not there.
No no no no, Ariana where are you
He opens the closets, crawls under the bed, even looks in the smaller cupboards that she would barely fit in.
Not this. Not again.
"Ariana" He whispers, moving all the covers on the bed again, but she is still not there. The bed is not even warm! She must be in the bathroom he thinks, trying to calm his frantic mind. He takes the corridor in two steps, but the door to the Bathroom is open and there is no one there. He rushes down the stairs, almost toppling over in his hurry to reach the kitchen, despite the little voice in the back of his head saying she hates stairs. She would never leave the top floor without you or Aberforth.
Maybe Aberforth took her outside, he tries to retaliate. But he would never do that, he knows how afraid she gets outside sometimes. Through the livingroom, the corridor, even peaking into Aberforths room, but she's NOT THERE. Even Aberforth is missing. In his heart, Albus knows that something is terribly, terribly wrong.
"ARIANA? ABERFORTH?" He calls, not bothering to be quiet anymore.
"over here" Aberforths voice calls from the kitchen, and within seconds Albus stands panting in the doorway, holding a hand to his chest and sagging against the doorframe in relief as he sees Ariana seated in a chair, unharmed, with Aberforth crouched on the floor in front of her.
"Look, Ariana, I told you he was fine." Aberforth says, gently stroking Ariana's hands. His gaze when he turns toward Albus, however, is outright hostile.
"You're safe." Albus breathes, his hands shaking against the doorframe. Aberforth averts his eyes, disgust clear in his face.
"She woke up a few hours ago, and panicked when she couldn't find you in your room. " Aberforth says, his voice hoarse. "I found her underneath the porch, crying and whispering your name."
"I-" Albus tries, but no words seem enough.
"You had to go, right?" Aberforth sneers, carefully cleaning the mud away from Ariana's vary face.
"Hey, that is not fair!" Albus says, pushing aside the guilt.
"You have no right to judge my reasons, Abe. How was I to know? She never wakes up. She never even leaves her room, damnit!"
"BUT TODAY SHE DID!" Aberforth screams back, causing Ariana to flinch.
"Look, I have been patient with you!" He continues, getting to his feet, "I know this has been hard for you, but when I'm not here, she's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Mom would never-"
"YES WELL I'M NOT MOM! SHE'S DEAD, ABE! SHE WONT COME BACK!" Aberforth recoiled as if he had been puncend in the face, but Albus simply could not stop now.
"I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS! I NEVER WANTED TO STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF MY STUPID SISTER AND WEIRD BROTHER!" Albus bellows, ignoring the tears in the corners of his eyes.
"You don't mean that." Aberforth says quietly, standing in front of Ariana with his wand raised.
"No, no maybe I don't, it's just-"He runs his hands through his hair in exasperation, trying to get his thoughts sorted out. He knows he has no right to be angry at Aberforth, it's not his fault everything turned out the way it did, but it is just so difficult when everything hurts and there is no one to blame.
"I'm sorry" He manages, calming down. "it was an emergency. I wouldn't have left if it wasn't, I promise." Aberforth's expression softens at that, and he lowers his wand. He opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by a familiar voice from the doorway.
"Albus? You where gone when I woke up-" Gellert says, the soft insecure look on his face quickly changing to worry when he takes in the scene before him."… is everything okay?"
Gellert is even more disheveled than Albus, with his blonde hair making impossible shapes around his head, his shirt and pants crinkled as if thrown on in a hurry and several lovers marks spread across his neck and collarbone. Aberforth stares at the man in the doorway, before turning his gaze to Albus own ruffled self, and Albus can see the understanding spark in his brothers eyes, before turning into a burning contempt.
"An emergency, was it?" He asks, his voice sharp and dripping with venom.
"Abe-"
"No. No you do NOT get to come up with any more excuses. YOUR SISTER was all alone in the dark, worrying about you, and all the while you where off doing unspeakable things with HIM" Aberforth spits out the words, raising his wand to point it straight at Gellerts chest.
"Hey, what-" Gellert starts
"YOU SHUT UP." Aberforth yells, waving his wand in a threatening motion, causing small yellow sparks to emerge from the tip. "You have no say in this, foreigner. It is all your fault. Before you showed up, everything was fine. And then you come running and suddenly I am left alone to take care of Ariana and the house and everything. And now you-" He gestures to the disheveled state of Albus and Gellert "-you use him for your perverse ideas-" He turns to Albus "did he tell you he loves you or something? Is that why you went along with it? It's disgusting" He spits out the last words, moving to stand in front of Ariana as if to protect her from the deplorable ways of her older brother.
It hurts to hear those words uttered by his own brother, and more than he thought it would, too. He should have known how wrong anyone else would have thought his actions of this night to be. He knows that loving another man is something you should feel ashamed of. But he cannot, no matter how hard he tries, regret his connection with Gellert. He could not muster up the shame he was supposed to feel to make this right. So he just looks down, clenching his fists and tries, really tries, to apologize for who he is. But the words will not come out.
Gellert does not try. He doesn't even try to contain his anger at the words.
"Is that so" He says, fuming with rage, "I always thought you where an idiot, Aberforth. I tolerated you for Albus sake, but this- this I cannot allow."
"Gellert-" Albus tries, but Gellert has already drawn his wand, and pointed it toward Aberforth.
"Crucio"
He almost whispers the spell, and Aberforth, who was never very good at dueling, gets hit right in the chest, falling to the floor in spasms. Ariana starts to cry.
"GELLERT NO!" Albus yells, trying to stand in the way of the spell, but Gellert just shoves him aside, his eyes shining and his mouth grinning as he twists his wand, causing new waves of pain ripple through the body of the boy.
Albus scrambles for his wand, finding it in the inner pocket of his waistcoat, and casts a stunning spell at Grindewald, who deflects it easily, but has to break the curse on Aberforth.
"Albus..?" Gellert asks, surprised. Albus gets to his feet, and walks to stand between his brother and his friend.
"Enough, Gellert."
"But you heard him! What he said-"
"I know what he said. But he's still my brother, Gellert. And you do not hurtmy brother." Albus says, his voice colored with a calm rage. Gellert scowls.
"Move aside, Albus." He says between gritted teeth.
"I will not." He returns, standing his ground.
"We don't needhim, Albus! Don't – don't do this." His face turns from pleading to angry.
"You are supposed to understand!" But Albus just shakes his head.
He hears a scuffle behind him, as Aberforth gets to his feet, and feels the spell before it leaves his brothers wand. He deflects the spell with a flick of his wand, moving away from his brother so that the three of them stand in I triangle, all with their wands pointed against the middle. Almost like the deathly hallows symbol Albus thinks.
"Youre just as bad as him" Albus growls, cleaning the nosebleed from his face with his arm. They stand at a stalemate for several seconds, none of them wanting to make the first move. Then, as if on a signal, they all start their spells at once.
"STUPEFY"
"CRUCIO"
"IMPEDIMENTA"
The spells fly through the kitchen, each worse than the other, Grindewald not hesitating to use the unforgivable curses. Ariana starts to wail in her chair, the kitchen cupboard and drawers opening and closing in time with her, and a harsh wind blows through the door. The fight does not stop, the Curses flying through the air, dissolving into the walls or bouncing of the tiles. Aberforth is the first to fall, and Albus doesn't know weather he's alive or dead as he collapses on the floor.
"CRUCIO" He cries, rage fueled by the fear of having lost yet another family member. This time, he thinks, I have somebody to blame. Someone to HURT.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
They say it almost in chorus, and the spells bounce of the tiles, the green sparks sizzling through the air. Albus throws himself to the ground, narrowly avoiding one of the spells. There is a small noise, that sounds almost like a hiccup, and then the kitchen is quiet.
Too quiet.
As he opens his eyes, there is a limp shape lying next to him, her bright hair spread across the floor, her bright eyes opened, unseeing.
There are no thoughts inside Albus's head. Only a chilling emptiness, as if his mind is just as empty as Arianas eyes.
He reaches out a hand to touch her cheek, already a little colder than it should be, then he gets to his feet. Grindewald stands in the doorway again, his eyes wide.
"Who was it." Albus asks, his voice flat, dead.
"I…I don't know" Gellert says, his eyes still impossibly wide.
"Kill me" Albus says. Gellert shakes his head.
"I didn't mean to…"
"kill me Gellert. Please."Gellert just shakes his head again, backing away.
"I cannot." He says, then turns his back, and runs. Behind him, Albus can hear the sobs of Aberforth as he tries to wake Ariana. This is too much. Albus thinks, dropping to the floor without realizing it. I cannot do this. I cannot-
And before he retracts into his mind, drowning out the world and the cries and the feelings, he manages one more, terrifying thought.
What if it was my spell that killed her?
The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and therefore should be treated with great caution