Chapter 5: Mistakes

A week had passed since I last saw Blaine. I knew it was entirely my fault, I was stupid for confessing all those things to him, and the way we ended things on Saturday was less than satisfactory. I hope Blaine doesn't hate me…why do I care? I'm not changing for some kid I could easily just fuck and chuck.

No. Blaine deserved better than that. Blaine deserved better than me.

"Seb-…Sebastian!" Who was calling my name? Oh. Hunter.

"What?!" My words were filled with attitude. Probably not the best way to ease myself back into the Warblers; hints of the old Sebastian were more frequent after last weekend.

"You need to focus, you've only had a week of actual rehearsal and our sectionals is tomorrow."

I knew he was right, although I was probably a lot better than most of these fools. I mean, most of my teammates.

"Sorry." Believe it or not, it was really hard for me to say those words to anyone who wasn't Blaine. I just didn't really mean it when I said to anyone else.

The Warblers practice lasted twice as long, but luckily the rehearsal started early so that they could get out early enough to catch a full nights rest. Not that they really had much to worry about, sectionals was practically in the bag. As I gathered my stuff, Nick and Jeff came up behind me.

"Hey Sebastian. Is everything okay? Blaine told us that you were friends again, but you haven't mentioned anything since last week, and you've been…moodier than usual." Nick said, clearly hesitant knowing that making one wrong move and that would set me off.

"Why do you care?" I asked, probably colder than intended, but hey, if that's how it came out so be it. I started walking out of the door hoping that they would get the clue that I didn't want to talk. As if I was that lucky.

"Well, I mean, I know we're all Warblers and we are kind of obliged to care, but we genuinely care if you're okay…that's what friends are for" Jeff said

"And what gave you two the idea that we were friends?"

"Listen dude, we know how you are, but we still care. Take it or leave it, its your choice. Just know we're here."

"I'm…just, uh…thank you. I just don't want to talk about this."

"That's totally fine. We'll see you tomorrow. Make sure to bring you're A game!" Nick said.

"Always do." I put on that smile that I always put when I just want a conversation to be over. After saying our goodbyes, I walked to my car. As I sat there, finding the motivation to start the drive home, I found my mind thinking about every thing that I was really good at keeping down. Especially Blaine.

I sped the entire way, maybe just so I could feel some sort of adrenaline, kind of like what I felt when I was with Blaine. Blaine. Always Blaine. What is my deal? I'm being such a pussy. This is all Blaine's fault. I never used to act like this. I would always just have fun. Drink until I'd forget about all my problems; my dad, the abuse, Blaine. Life was working for me then, and now here comes Blaine and throws my world completely upside down. Who gave hime the right? Oh yeah...I did.

Whatever, I'm going to do what I know how to do best. Even though I was already at my house, I decided it was a Scandals type of night. Mistake Number One.

I forgot how many shots I had taken, (completely bought by the guys who wanted a quick screw) but I was starting to feel it. Starting to forget. Starting to feel numb. I was also into my second hook up of the night, neither of the guys knew my name, and I didn't know theirs either. It was what I knew. Mistake Number Two.

What was vibrating? Seriously...pick up your fucking phone already and hang up. Awkward. It was me. Whoever it is could wait. I wasn't done with guy number three just yet. What was worse is that his mouth wasn't even that talented. Sure, I would still eventually reach an orgasm, but his teeth kept grazing my cock as he went down on me.

I groaned as I finally reached climax. It wasn't the best, but who gave a shit? An orgasm is an orgasm, no matter who it comes from. Stop doing this to yourself Sebastian.

The guy stood up and leaned in towards me, almost placing a kiss on my lips but I moved my head before he got the chance. "Sorry, not really like that" I said. Well, I would be. With Blaine. Only Blaine.

"Can we at least exchange numbers, I wouldn't mind doing this again." he said with a smirk on his face. Stop smirking. you look like an idiot. Wait? Do I look like an idiot?

"Nope. Sorry, losers aren't my type." I said, cold enough that even I felt offended. Before he could even mutter out an insult, I had pushed him aside and walked out of the the bathroom.

As I sat down at the bar, looking for another shot, I remembered that I had a missed call. Blaine. Of Course. As if he knew I realized he messaged me, I got a text from him.

Hey...I tried calling. Just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. You better make it to regionals so I can kick you ass there ;) –Blaine

Thn gasdg gdjknkgajsnd akmf –Sebastian Mistake Number Three.

Are you seriously drunk right now? Sebastian, sectionals are tomorrow. –Blaine

Sooo –Sebastian

Who's with you? Please tell me your not driving… –Blaine

Stop caring Blaine. Just go away. No. Stay, please. Save me.

Me, meyselg, n aI –Sebastian

Don't leave, I'm coming to pick you up. Okay Seb? –Blaine

Wabhtever –Sebastian

Sebastian don't do this to me. Stay there okay? –Blaine

I didn't bother responding to the last text, what was the point? I don't need Blaine. I don't need anybody. Fuck them. Fuck the world.

Before I remembered, I was standing outside of Scandals. I don't even remember leaving, where am I going again? Where are my keys? Fuck. FUCK. Fuck it all. Whatever, walking home it is.

Blaine arrived at Scandals, only to find that Sebastian was nowhere to be seen, not in the bathroom, not at the bar, not on the dance floor.

"Excuse me, have you seen Sebastian; tall, lean, green eyes, brown hair?" I asked to the bouncer. Blaine couldn't take much more of this. Why would Sebastian be doing this?

"Yeah, he just left maybe 15 minutes ago. I have his keys, didn't think he could drive in the condition he was in." He replied. He eyed me up and down as he responded. Disgusting. Although Blaine was mad for letting Sebastian go, he was grateful that the bouncer hadn't let him drive. After taking Sebastian's keys, he got into his own car and started looking for Sebastian.

"Is that? No…it cant be" I thought I saw Blaine's car drive by me. I must be reallllyyy drunk. Why is the car turning around? Is it honking at me?

"Sebastian! SEBASTIAN! Stop." By this point, Blaine had gotten out of the car, and was chasing after me.

"Ohh hey Blainey poo! What's going on!" was I yelling? I don't know.

"Bas, get into the car, we need to get you home so that you can rest up. You have sectionals tomorrow, remember?" Was Blaine worried? Did he actually care enough about me to help me out.

I started waving down all the cars that passed by me, hoping for a ride. One even stopped, but Blaine grabbed my arm and told them they could leave. The guy seem pissed, probably hoping to get it in.

"Who gives a fuck?"

"You should, Sebastian. The Warblers welcomed you back with open arms, and yet here you are, potentially letting them all down. You need to win tomorrow Bas. Will you please come into the car so I can take you home?"

I turned around to face Blaine. I hoped my eyes were as expressionless as I wanted them to look, not wanting Blaine's beautiful hazel eyes peer into my soul. Deep. Ha, gay is more like it. Blaine, why do you look upset. Please don't look at me like that.

"No." My reply was short and to the point. I would not be going to my house.

"Why not?" Blaine was clearly pleading by this point. You deserve better, Blaine.

"I don't want to go home. My dads there." Did I just admit that. Shit. I was bound to be asked about this later. As I was trying to collect my thoughts, my vision went black and I felt myself losing control. I realized what was happening when I felt blood coming from my head, did I seriously just ridicule myself in front of Blaine and fall on the floor? Way to hold your composure Smythe. So much for being a bad ass. Mistake Number 4.

"Seb…S-sebastiong, are you okay. Answer me. Sebastian, please!" I could only make out half of what he was saying...but why was he yelling? Why was Blaine freaking out? Jesus Christ. Calm down. Everything's fine Blaine. It's Okay. I Promise. Why couldn't I move? What the hell is wrong with me.

"Blaine…Blaine I'm fine. Just leave me here, I promise I won't let down the Warblers. That's the one thing I promise I won't let down. I wish I wouldn't let you down." Blaine wrapped his small arms around me, crushing me. Love me. Hold me. Blaine.

"Stop talking like that. You haven't let me down, I swear. And unless we get you home, you will let down the Warblers. Sebastian you're drunk. Please just come with me, we can stay at my place if you don't want to go home, how does that sound? Or do you want to go to the hospital? You're bleeding Bas" Why are your eyes so red? Blaine, are you high? No. Blaine doesn't smoke Sebastian.

"Blaine, why are you crying?" Don't cry Blaine, please don't cry for me.

"Because Sebastian, look at you. You're in the middle of the road on the floor not wanting to move and with a cut on your head. Please, please just get up."

"Fine." Only because watching you cry breaks my heart. "The cement isn't that comfortable anyways" I started getting up but didn't do much...Blaine, this scrawny little kid was helping me up. Funny.

The only thing I remember after getting into the car was waking up in the tub. Wait, where was I? Why am I in a tub? Am I…am I naked? I saw Blaine come into this unknown place with a towel in hand, looking cute as ever in his curls. Ungelled hair is actually really nice on you. He looked exhausted.

"B-Blaine? Where am I?" My head was pounding. Probably from the gash on my head. Hopefully it didn't require stitches, although it was all dried up by now. Whatever, I don't really care.

"Hey Sebastian, you're in my house. I hope you don't mind that I brought you here, but you didn't want to go home earlier…and I, uh, I hope you don't mind I undressed you so I could get you in the bath. Don't worry I left on your boxers…"

"What time is it?" I asked, my voice rough, I didn't even sound like myself.

"It's 3am." 3 am? What? I could have sworn it was like 10pm latest.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Blaine, please go to bed. I'll be okay. I'm sorry that I kept you up, but I promise I'll be okay. I'm just going to change and head home. " I tried getting up by myself but my body was going against my will. Stupid alcohol. Stupid Sebastian. On top of it, trying to get up I almost ate shit as I slipped on the slippery surface of the bathtub.

"No I'm okay. You're the one who needs sleep. Your sectionals are tomorrow, you should really get to bed, you can stay in the guest bed, or you can..you can stay in my bed with me, whatever you'd like." Blaine walked over to me to help me stand up.

With you, I want to sleep with you. Will you hold me throughout the night? "Whatever you want, you're choice. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You can sleep with me, in case you need anything during the night."

"You mean the next 4 hours?"

"Yeah."

I love his nervous laugh. Blaine is so adorable. "Here, let me help you.." This is pathetic. A Smythe should never be seen in these conditions. Only with Blaine. Blaine sat me down on the edge of the bathtub but held me so that I wouldn't fall back. He was so loving. Why are you doing this? Why do you care? He was drying my hair when I finally looked at at his face. Even with bags under his eyes and looking exhausted, he looked stunning.

"Blaine…"

"Yes Sebastian?" Why couldn't I speak? Why couldn't I express to him exactly what I felt? Why couldn't I just be who Blaine wanted me to be?

"…Just…just thank you. For everything"

I turned my gaze towards the floor, ashamed at what how I was acting. What I didn't expect was what happened next. Blaine lifted my head and before I knew what was happening, I felt warm, tender lips on mine. His lips soft…gentle. The kiss was sweet, caring...something that I had never experienced before. I nibbled slightly at his lips, eliciting a small moan out from the smaller boy. He wrapped his arms around my neck as I placed my hands on his waist. I licked his lips, asking for permission to explore his mouth. Blaine. I was kissing Blaine. I wanted to taste everything about Blaine. Using my tongue to to memorize the unfamiliar surfaces in his mouth. How long had I dreamed about having this beautiful boy in my arms, kissing me the way I had always dreamed. Our bodies were so close; it felt like we were one. For the first time, I felt happy. A feeling that I've never felt before welled up in my stomach; a warm, fuzzy feeling. Oh God, I'm so gay.

I didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but by the end, we were both out of breath and his lips were bruised. Blaine was panting heavily, flushed and looking away from me. He was so adorable when he was nervous.

"That was…that wa-" I started.

"Amazing." He finished for me.

Despite what I felt, despite the joy and happiness Blaine provided for me, I was left feeling confused; what did this mean? Mistake Number 5.