Stalking is No Fun

Today, I decided to think of ways to impress the Shara Lin look-alike. I was completely stumped, despite the fact I have had waaaaaaay more dates than both my "brothers" combined (Latvia says it's because girls just use me to do their homework, but he' s just jealous :P). The girl always picks me as her partner for a science project, then asks me out, and then never calls me again after the first date. ;_;.

The only time I ever did a science project with a male was some paper about daphnia, or amoebas, or something that I did with Iceland. And, he didn't do anything except for draw a few pictures, which I could've just as easily found online (cells are more than just circles, Iceland), and sit around at my house eating licorice.

Anyways, back to the point. While I was brainstorming, Russia popped out of the ceiling and said I should go ask France for advice. I was grateful that it wasn't Russia himself giving advice, so, with no better idea in my head, called France and asked him for advice.

Being France, however, he insisted that he must meet me in person at the bicycle shop down the street from my house. So, I went there, and I asked France why a bicycle store of all places, and he said "It was very inconspicuous." So, I asked him why being inconspicuous is important, and he said that I must help him stalk Austria and take photos of him, which is normally Prussia's job, but Prussia is busy making a music video titled "I'm Awesome". And, only after I help him do that, will he give me any advice on how to pick up girls.

Then, France told me some pretty weird stories about Austria. From what I know, the guy wears glasses and plays piano, and he has a sense of direction which Japan says "is worse than Roronoa Zoro's." But, according to France, he (amongst other things), drives over dead kittens for fun, collects toenails, can't roll his tongue, and has a harem of 109 women ("More than Emperor Charles Vi Britannia!", to quote France quoting Japan). I was a bit suspicious, considering that I wear glasses and play piano, but, yet I don't have as much luck with the ladies. Oh, right, and France told me to never consume any food or drink he offers. But, he never explained why.

So, France and I went to Austria's house and watched him through the window for a while, but, the only things he did were play piano, clip his toenails, bake a pie, and order something off an infomercial from South Korea. And then, I blacked out.

I woke up in a bed, with Austria looking over me. He said that he had spotted me outside his house, and then asked me to come in for tea. I apparently accepted, but when I took a sip of the tea I suddenly went unconscious. I had been sleeping for a few hours. I wondered what happened to France, and Austria replied that he had never seen him. I told him all the stories that France told me, and he said those were all lies and that France is a creeper. We had a nice conversation over tea, and I asked him how to pick up girls, and he said that the only girl who ever loved him was Hungary, and he had no idea why she was into him. I thanked him for his hospitality, and when I went home, nobody seemed to notice that I was gone.

Posted by EpicStonia at 8:46 P.M.

All Comments (14)

BeautifulRoses3333: AUSTRIA'S TELLING YOU LIES! HE POISONED YOU! AND THEN TRIED TO MAKE YOU PART OF HIS HAREM! \(O)/

*****Angry-Chopin: Don't be ridiculous. The boy probably fainted because a certain person told him tall tales (which I'm sure are all of a certain person's habits and fantasies), so when he drank the tea, there was a reverse placebo-effect going on. In other words, Estonia only went unconscious because he thought the tea would harm him.

*****BeautifulRoses3333: Meh, I'd want more than 109 women :3.

*****Angry-Chopin: O_o

MrPuffin: You know that science isn't my strong point!

*****EpicStonia: Then why did you take it?

*****MrPuffin: I want to prove to my brother that there is no such thing as fairies!

*****EpicStonia: Don't Icelandic people stereotypically believe in elves?

*****MrPuffin: But I'm not stereotypically Icelandic.

*****EpicStonia: Right…

GlitterPrincess: I own a horse!

*****EpicStonia: Excuse me?

*****GlitterPrincess: Never mind, it's a pony :D.

*****EpicStonia: Poland, is that you?

*****GlitterPrincess: Maybe…^ ^

(A/N: I got one hit from Estonia! Yay! Ironic, isn't it? Also, thanks to my fantabulous beta-reader, Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin. I wish I actually made errors in the previous chapter so she could correct them XD. At least I made some mistakes this time. She also has some lovely, cracky suggestions for the later chapters, which I'm looking forward to writing about.)