Sorry – Survival Days
Chapter 5
Sorry is never too late.
xxxx
Castle couldn't stand it. Although he's mad of Lanie, she's right. 2 slaps from her was working like a shock therapy for him. Whenever he wanted to start writing, he came out with nothing, because every sentence with 'Nikki Heat' would remind him on that day. Everything he saw, and he hear, would bring him a short flashback about their memory. When he saw his kitchen, it reminds him on Kate's story about her mother, how amazing Johanna was, when each Sunday she gave Kate choice between pancakes, omelets, and waffles. If he watched TV, dead bodies are all over the news, and there's a glimpse of NYPD badge. When he averted his gaze to his library, his eyes got caught by the Nikki Heat series. He missed her, a lot.
He decided to start over with her. At least, to hear her voice once more, to check her condition, and fix their awful-ended relationship. Although Castle is bad with numbers, he still can remember Kate's phone number. He typed it on his phone, and then hit the call button slowly.
As Castle was calling her, she's sitting on her couch, feeling so lonely. She couldn't cry anymore, like there's no more tears left. Her eyelids were swollen so bad, due to too much crying. Tissues were scattered all over the floor, she didn't care. She had been avoiding the outer world, resisting to receive any phone calls or texts if the sender is not him. She only needed one thing, Richard Castle. She missed his smile, his coffee, his smell, his jokes, his flirts, and everything that
Her phone suddenly vibrated on the table, and took all her attention. It's Castle calling. Is she ready to talk to him again? Is she ready to face all the consequences? The answer is no, she still needs some time alone. But until when?
1st call, no answer
2nd call, still no answer
Castle took an exasperated sigh. Is she still mad at him? Does she forget him already? He didn't want to annoy her at all, so he gave up calling, and left a voice mail instead.
"Hey, Kate. This is me, Castle. I think we need to talk, so if you want to, you can either call or text me. I am waiting for it. And I'm in my loft if you want to come over, Martha and Alexis aren't home."
There he is, her usual Castle, with his boyish charm. He's always full of attention and care. She felt guilty the way she had treated him. She forced him to make that decision. His voice sounded really raspy. She missed their old relationship, those happy moments in or out the precinct, where they could laugh together, making theories to solve a case, finishing each other's sentences, and flirting each other verbally.
She reassured herself and gained some courage to text him.
"I'll be there in 10."
xxxx
She kept her promise. 10 minutes after her text arrived at his phone, his doorbell rang. He peeked at his peephole, and there she is. Standing right in front of his loft, waiting to be allowed to get in. He slightly opened the door, trying not to startle her.
"Hi, Beck-"
Without saying any words, she cuts off Castle by hugging him, as an action for unsaid 'I miss you a lot'. He was quiet shocked, he didn't expect that this is going to happen, even though he's smart with scenarios. She sobbed into her partner's shoulder, staining his outfit with tears.
"Calm down, Kate. It's okay.." said Castle as he rubs her back up and down gently.
They both sat and comfort themself on the couch, without saying any words. The silence became more awkward. He's trying to calm her, by holding her hands firmly for reassurance. She finally managed to catch her breath and break the silence.
"Rick, I came here for a reason. I wanna tell you something."
He only nods, to give her permission.
"I'm sorry, Rick. For everything. I'm-"
"No, Kate, it is none of your fault. Don't blame yourself."
"Please, Rick, let me explain it."
"There is nothing else to be explained. You did nothing wrong."
"Yes, there is. Like, how I have been treating you lately."
He slightly nods again, and holding both of her hands firmly.
"I was totally wrong to push you aside, Rick. My life went so much worse ever since that day at the hospital. And from what Lanie said to me, you were feeling the same. I mean, I just don't want to put you in danger anymore, Rick. Unfortunately, things were not going like I imagined. Both of us were upset. I made a wrong choice, Rick, and I just hope that you'll give me another one to start over."
"Montgomery's death made me realize, that life is short. This might be the right time to admit it. At least, if I'll lose you again, you already knew my feeling. It has been 3 years, and.. I love you. I love you so much."
His heart skipped a beat when she finished her statement. He's totally speechless, hearing her spilled out all her mixed feelings from her heart. She didn't use any poetic words, but it was truly sincere, from deep down of her heart. That feeling, that she had been hiding for 3 years, finally all layers from Beckett Onion is peeled. Everything felt so real. After knowing her feeling, finally, he has the courage to unravel his true feeling.
"Kate, I gotta tell, that tailing you for 3 years is not an easy job. Plus, we face near death situations almost every single day, and I thank God we're still here. And I think, I did a pretty good job become your tail."
He never loses his sense of humor, no matter how tense the condition is. He's back to serious mode, and at last...
"I love you too, Kate."
They met each other's gaze, a man with shining blue eyes, and a woman with stunning brown eyes. They looked at each other with full of love, as his face move closer to hers. They close their eyes, and his lips finally met hers gently. They're not rushing, because they actually enjoy kissing each other. It was a very passionate kiss, much better than what they did undercover. What an amazing night.
A/N : You like it? Hate it? Feedback, please :) It seems that I'm gonna write a short epilog for this fanfic, so 1 chapter left! RnR!